Girl at work asks me what I do with my friends

>Girl at work asks me what I do with my friends
>"I don't have friends. I got family"

Attached: 1335781819_300x300.jpg (500x500, 44K)

the girls at work talk to you?

>start chatting to a girl at work
>she starts talking about how she was raped by her uncle years ago

Attached: awkward.png (231x266, 136K)

there are other boards for autism

>Black girl gets close to me

Attached: Cliff Robertson Spider-Man.jpg (720x540, 45K)

>there are other boards for autism
yes but this is the best one

Attached: 2018.jpg (682x682, 272K)

>girl at work

Who the fuck cares what girls at work think?

>Girl at work asks me if I wanna go see Captain Marvel later
>"I don't watch capeshit"

literally the most certain sign she wants your dick

Attached: 1535000608812.jpg (555x526, 82K)

>You guys still talk or nah?

0/10

She was a literal missing link, moustache and all

this literally happened to me at work once

I've had so many randoms tell me this that I've lost count

>btw i'm literally ruined and unmarriable
Why would women do this?

sure showed her
5/5

When someone says they've been raped I always wonder if they got std's from that. I mean people who rape aren't the most considerate

>work with ugly girl
>I cum in your food
>I don't give a shit

Attached: 1551617221083s.jpg (125x100, 3K)

but it really happened, I swear to God

Attached: 1552258634191s.jpg (125x115, 3K)

>tell girl at work that Yea Forums told me I have to have sex
>she doesn't offer to

Attached: 1493332675006.webm (1000x432, 2.91M)

Based

Attached: 6al0.png (1308x676, 1.61M)

This happened to me except it was her grandfather that raped her

Because for the last 30 years or so they've been indoctrinated to believe that men have no choice but to accept damage goods when presented to them.

me too, except it was my Dad who raped her

You're telling me you didn't smell her?

This would make a pretty funny comic
>fat guy thinking about whether or not he has a chance with the girl talking to him and then wonders what she's going on about
>girl:"...so what I've been trying to say is that your father raped me"

step-dad would be more realistic (watch Lifetime)
but "your Dad" is funnier

Attached: gort.jpg (275x183, 5K)

this
cuck

based

hey if you do this can you stop
I really don't like eating cum with my food
if I did I would add my own

fpbp

>single mom at work starts talking about dicks
>says she thinks about mine
>hurriedly change the subject
>go home and fap

Attached: 1534607673288.jpg (720x644, 56K)

>tfw you were asked to prom
>didn't even realise til much after the fact

>but "your Dad" is funnier, and add "he raped me, too. He was a like a Chocoholic except with rape."

in his voice

Attached: danieltosh.jpg (194x260, 6K)

>Girl at work tells me she likes me
>Ask her out a few days after
>she says no

Attached: IMG_4234.jpg (1130x480, 20K)

>tell black girl at work i dont have a penis
>have sex with her a week later

Fuck off normie
Don't misuse our memes

>girl asks what I do with friends
>dont have any
>what about family
>very small family, don't do much
>she feels bad, has pity sex with me
>ends up leglocking and raping me
>9 months later I still don't have friends, family is a little bigger though.

Wew that was a close call

I ain't no normie. Never even hugged a woman. I have an autistic obsession with fitness, but women terrify me.

>I ain't no normie
>women literally telling him they like him
>"women terrify me"
>asked her out
Fuck off normie

So now normie just means not a pussy?

One time during a Speech and Communications class this girl was presenting her speech which was a story about how her cousin raped her at a sleepover. It was the first time she told anyone and she started crying. Very awkward.

Attached: 1550095968340.gif (382x678, 1.73M)

>girl at work keeps making fun of me because i didn't go out to lunch with her
;_;

That was a close one. Imagine if she actually robbed you of your virginity, the one special thing in life worth taking to your grave

>girl asks me if I wnat to go out for drinks with her and a bunch of other employees after work
>say that I'm busy
>get fired a week later for not being a fit with "corporate culture"

Attached: professor wojak smoking.jpg (350x304, 35K)

Thanks for outing yourself, normie

You should have shouted "It's not your fault!" and then smiled at your mates to cue the laughter

you can sue for this

>pull video from hidden camera under girls desk at work
>cstch her fingering herself at one point.
>at the end she holds up a note saying she knows about the camera

Attached: images.jpg (224x225, 7K)

You're reading too much into two events that happened to occur close to each other
"not a fit for our culture" just means "boilerplate reason because we don't wanna tell you why we really fired you"

I was taking the class with my best friend at the time actually and we did have a good laugh about the situation afterwards. I couldn't look at him during the speech because I laugh in awkward situations if I make eye contact with my friends.

>normie
Fuck off normalfag

>co-workers begin talking about their significant other/children
>pause and ask me about mine

Attached: 1547853999746.gif (300x258, 3.32M)

Both have meant the exact same thing for the last 5 or so years
That whole spiel about different normalfag categorizations and failed normalfags or whatever has always been bullshit

all girls at work are old ladies

> Collegues see me bromancing with another collegue. They take notice and feel like they've got to make a commment about it in group.
> Ask me: 'how's your friend doing?'
>Answer: "Which one? Everyone's my friend here."

>talk to milf at work
>is a complete weeb
>favorite movie is TTGL movie 2

Attached: weeb milf.webm (1280x720, 2.23M)

Was my old job. One really liked me, said she wished she had daughters so she could have me as a son in law.

Attached: peple.jpg (640x513, 34K)

Based. Now they know that you're a true a leader personality that's willing to take care of the entire tribe

look
at
those
tits!

>friend can't stop obviously lying about her imaginary boyfriend who is in hospital after being hit by a car

Attached: AD7E04BE2E2A48CEBA3E380330212BDD.jpg (800x664, 47K)

it's cute, but fuck frogposters.

I meant it as a bit more bitter comment. But this is a good interpretation also.

Attached: No Future Set.jpg (375x385, 28K)

i guard it with my life

Attached: 1541887572249.jpg (640x969, 93K)

Literally none of the things in this thread have ever happened to me. You guys are making me feel hideous. Is it rare to have never been flirted with or hit on in any way at work/school??

Attached: 1552948718271.png (745x698, 786K)

Me either bro, this fucking sucks

>it guy at work who always fixes my computer asks me if I want to go to dinner some time
>tell him I already have a boyfriend (I don't but he doesn't know that) (well I have a fwb but you know)
>he starts laughing and kind of stutters while saying "oh it's not like that, I just meant as friends since we're work teammates you know"
>tell him I really need to get back to work
>later in the afternoon go to see my group manager and tell him the guy has been making me comfortable

Attached: dadada.jpg (480x360, 14K)

First gf came to me. It was about 'don't you care if you fail?' and I said 'no', "well I can do the project for you" and I said "cool, thanks"
and she made a date with me I had to show up to. after I went to her place she decided I was her boyfriend. that's how easy it is.

haha yeah, i guess it really is that easy

Attached: 1475326081680.jpg (320x240, 12K)

Based and baitpilled
You've earned those quads, and my (You)

Attached: 1528170174281.png (1428x1080, 855K)

these things happen when you spend 8hrs with the same people 5 days a week

plot twist
>there is no manager, it guy or job
>you're an underemployed soft science major

based

Yea Forums is normie central. All the redditshits and failed normies browse here.

No they dont, that's what I am saying. It has never happened to me and I work 5 days a week with the same people every day, and go to school and see the same people everyday.

Attached: 8c4d211e70e96a233384ec6b6d285fa25af878276a03ec73dc51c7c47522f37e.jpg (640x660, 37K)

>plot twist
get the fuck away from all my website you underaged reddit nigger

op here to tell you im actually a loser neet and i just made the thread for the joke

i did get flirted with in school tho, but i always thought it pointless to act on it. what do you even do with a girl if you live with your parents and have no job, too much hassle

Normalniggers think they’ve earned all the things that simply fell into their laps

redditard pls go

Are you sure?
Years after the event, I realized that some girls had actually been flirting with me back in high school.
I was just too innocent and dumb to understand what was going on and fucked it all up.

>a few days after

So basically you didn't have the balls to ask her out when she told you, and needed to work up to it? Yeah no wonder she told you to fuck off, girls don't like pussies retard.

>mom asks why I don't have any friends
>say "Who needs friends when you have enemies like I do?"

>mfw my enemies are the jannies

Attached: 1549156996289.jpg (500x500, 96K)

You are making me feel worse

She told me over FB. I wanted to ask her in her in person when I saw her.

But how does your modern open plan office cope without some humourless dullard negroid fresh out of a useless university degree as your HR person?
>mfw the first time I see her hired as hr

Attached: 1539133988304.jpg (500x281, 23K)

god i wish that was me

where do you work? I worked at a grocery store and conversations would get sexual daily, important to note the girls I worked with were not models but very average looking.
I was even very shy and worked the closing shift most days

Prove it. show me the body.

they don't bother asking me because they know there is nothing to talk about.

You work at a library too?

Absolutely based. FIGHT THE GOOD WAR.

>be skinny 22 year old virgin white guy with long blonde hair
>my boss is a thick 33 year old mixed half Caribbean woman with huge tiddies who is single
>keeps running her hands through my hair and calling me her "elf boy"
>just gave me a substantial raise
>came over to my desk and gave me a back massage as I went over some new designs with her a few days ago

Attached: 1524213269847.png (600x600, 41K)

>dinner on a first date
he fuckin deserved it

>socially awkward and objectively 6/10 looks
>despite this have never had problems getting laid with 8/10
>whenever the 8+/10 guys at work are talking about women they've fucked and I tell my anecdotes, I can see that they all believe I'm full of shit

It's a weird kind of feel. It isn't about "muh validation from social peers" either. It's more the fact that these pseudo-chads are unable to comprehend how someone objectively less attractive than them is scoring prime pussy.

Attached: 1419023824181.jpg (1000x1000, 453K)

>have a friend who got stoned with and tells another friend about how we slapped dicks together to compare size when I was in the same room.
> The other friend just laughs, while I know this never happened.
> Tfw he's got you worked up about it too and you're secretely fantasizing about fucking some whore together.

Imagine how you'll feel ten years from now, knowing that you weren't actually as awkward as you felt as a young adult

It's never going to change.

she will crush you, little boy

Attached: 1552192765327.jpg (467x440, 25K)

>socially awkward
>6/10

yeah you ain't banging 8/10s bro. unless any non obese girl is an 8 to you

Attached: 1460844258955.jpg (275x284, 23K)

trust me, we're sure

>girl smiles at me
>dont change my neutral face
why am i like this

>girls in college library tried to talk to me
>pretend i cant hear them

>having lunch on monday
>girl at work asks me what my friends are like
>quickly pull out my cigarettes
>hands are shaking and I drop a few out of the box but it's okay
>light up the cigarette and take a drag
>say in the lowest voice I can manage "... I'm a lone wolf baby"
>she just stares at me
>I walk off and when I get out of sight I let out the cough I've been holding in and quickly put the cigarette out before someone complains
Not sure what my next move should be

Same, it fucking sucks. Some of the slightly younger ones are MILFs but they are all married. I don't think there are any women in their 20s that work there except for one Chinese girl.

sauce on webm?

There's that exact same pseudo-chad attitude. What have I done to prove it when they reacted similarly? I showed pictures.
What was their initial reaction? To ask if I had taken the pictures off the internet, because the girls were easily 8/10.

Attached: 1549334237155.jpg (985x763, 239K)

>Ask for my co-workers number
>Never call or text her
>say hi to her when arriving to work
>she doesn’t say anything

Attached: CC75C1CC-611F-4418-9121-8529BF15E133.png (300x168, 60K)

because you treat all those situations like they're fucking with you

Now don't laugh at this next part

Attached: MV5BYzBlZThkMzgtMTU3Zi00MWQ5LWIxYjAtNjg0ZTQ0OTI5NjVmL2ltYWdlL2ltYWdlXkEyXkFqcGdeQXVyNTI5NjIyMw@@._V1 (1000x562, 30K)

So how do you do it

I have been told by three people about their rape/childhood molestation stories.

>be friends with the girl
>she makes eye-contact with you

Attached: 1332387913231.gif (331x203, 213K)

Get out of my head

>Score a one night stand
>Go with here and some friends to the swimming pool
>She tells me into my ears she wants to fuck me in the toilet
>See a kid running around
> Tell her: " There's kids running around here, I can't do this.'
I'm a prude. Truth was, I don't like fucking in public places and I don't like fucking out in the open. The bed is more than enough adventure for me.

I honestly don't fucking know. There is no magic formula I know of. I'm unironically just living the "just be yourself" meme.

Somehow I end up fucking these girls. And there is no question about me being 6/10 either. If anything, I'm 5/10 on bad days.

Are you tall

Are you handsome as hell?

Hot

180cm / 5'10"

So right in between manlets and real men.

Are you so bad?

Do you do it so well?

That’s a hell of a lot better success rate than being 5’8 or shorter

I had a similar thing happen to me, except it was in Calculus and it was the professor who was telling the class.

I'm not bad, I'm average. I'm honestly as average as you can imagine.
Average height. Average looks. Average dick. Average income. Average everything.

Pic related was a girl I fucked about 3 weeks ago. She's playing around with filters, but she was easily a 7/10 in real life. 8/10 in the right light.

Attached: rtr.png (658x830, 1.25M)

This, but her speech was about her stepfather raping her

Attached: 8C3E8BA6-7BE2-420D-BE88-C951CC7E2C82.gif (400x225, 986K)