You think you'll have a geek themed wedding when you get married?

For an ugly fat fuck. Hes had a pretty good life.

based

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lol

Swollowback?

wont stop the talentless worthless incels from shitting on him

Imagine talking about your wife in Twitter like that.

>marry
>want to celebrate
>go to Skinwalker Ranch
What the fuck.

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I mean i get what he means but did he really need let the whole world know that

where?

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What the hell could she be doing for his dick with her clit and taint?

Oh boy, it says Skywalker Ranch, sorry.
Skinwalker Ranch is a ranch famous for the amount of weird shit that has happened there, from constant UFO sightings, to weird creatures, to the point where the US government got involved and took over the place and now keeps it under strict security, not letting anyone get close.

Wtf is a "brown"? Do women even have taints? Jesus.

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>pwns
Oh man, that's a word I haven't heard in a long time.

That makes me want to vomit every time.

I'm assuming he is referring to her unbleached butthole

How romantic

is smith a jewish name

They are very small taints. About an inch.

That's true love right there

correct

>brown area
Bathing doesn't exist in America?

Lol imagine being catholic, let alone believing in god. Kevin Smith tier

>ywn have a wedding at Skinwalker Ranch

true, but rude. always remember, this is our turf. forever and always. posts without end.

or pete davidson's eyes.

He's talking about her brown asshole. Some assholes are darker than others.

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govt sold it in 1996

>associating good sex with sex you're not meant to be having
What a scumbag

She looks like the painting Stan is scared of in IT

Women don't have taints, they have a cuzif.
cause if it weren't there it'd be one big hole

what do you mean

>that horrific monster face
>with pigtails

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>marrying a woman with an unbleached asshole

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Extremely based.

>We bone like we're cheating
He's implying that it's better to have sex with someone you're cheating with than someone you're cheating on

Should he have suggested she get it bleached before he proposed?

>t. virgin

If you have to ask

So if she says no, then it's not meant to be?

Imagine dedicating YOUR wedding corporate toy product line instead of making it about a holy union between you and your chosen mating partner

That’s a yikes

how common is asshole bleaching, maestro?

i hate this guy so much

Really showing some class here folks.

That's disgusting

I'm pretty sure Tabitha Stevens got hers bleached

I wish god made women with one hole like birds and reptiles have. It makes more since

This to be honest familiarity

You should never compromise. Spending the rest of your life with one person is a big deal.

imagine the smell though

It wouldn't make much of a difference

Based af

just the pusy would be great. no stink from either of the garbage holes.

are asshole aesthetics that important to you?

she looks like shit, anyone else?

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YOURE THE ONE FOR ME FATTY

When she's naked and in front of me I will notice her asshole, yes.

I'm talking about her anus bleaching

so you wouldn't marry a woman if she had a brown asshole?

So what you're saying is that you want to fuck the same hole that women eat with, drink with, and piss/shit/fart out of like a starfish.

i’d marry a brown asshole but not if it had a woman.

She’s in clerks II someone post her rubbing her nipple all over

yikes

hahahahaha

He's a human pig.

This is absolutely unbased and disgusting.

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He didn't mention her elongated clit

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low test

oh ok

>t. doesn't have a clit/brown/taint-area to pOwn his dick

>her clit/brown/taint-area still pOwns my dick

what fucking timeline are we in?

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this guys so sick

>the damage control

hahahahahahahaha

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so it was a prank?

>haha sorry my brother stole my phone and thought it would be funny if he asked if you had a crush on me

>so whats up?

More like his whole twitter is the worse thing ever, not just that post

Post pics of his daughter.

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sounds plausible

He is a fat fuck but he is not an ugly dude by any means

ugh, please no

What a high T bronco

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kevin is truly /ourguy/

why are his eyes always wide open like that it makes me wanna beat this retarded crack head to death with a steel pipe

Did her taint/brown p0wn his dick afterwards?

It's the same söy mouth expression except he's learned to keep his mouth closed.

Because he's a fucking moron

That's the only way he can get himself out of that tweet

>loved Captain Marvel
>has had sex
G-guys you said it was just a meme!!

We just cant win bro

I'm not surprised tbqh

>Implying you can love a woman more than le star wars XD

Look. I mean she was probably charitably a 6/10, but Kev at least had a bit of game to get in there instantly, looking the way he did.

Why would it? He's literally just an incel himself that got lucky with his one decent flick in the right place at the right time. That (Clerks) has aged terribly and everything else is just awful. Now he's just a full blown corporate le bazinga shill. Everyone that knows who he is shits on him except for people that are comforted by his towering mediocrity as it makes them feel better. No offense or negativity meant to anyone.

He's dropped a bunch of weight ever since he went vegan. He still dresses like he is still morbidly obese.

Smith might be a hacky movie creator who never advanced his skills past an amateur level but incel the guy is not

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Based

WOW

Americans amirite?

All the subtlety of neon vomit

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So that's why his daughter looks the way she does.

Dude, he was dating Joey Loren Adams before he met lurch. He DID way better than his wife.

>if I ever wanted a paternity test

He knows deep down that she is not his.

That dyke?

>He still dresses like he is still morbidly obese.

This bothers me to an unreasonable degree. Just go clothes shopping for fucks sake! A man with a wife and daughter has no goddamned excuse, let them pick shit out!

hey kevin, gonna cry? piss your pants? maybe shit and cum?

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face like a canoe

Some people were just meant to be fat.

this is why

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I love this image and those fucking jorts, what a power play

Her doodybrown taint butthole area still WAPWNZ his dick

>paternity test
Where the fuck did that come from.
Shit like that doesn't just pop into a mans mind.
She looks nothing like him or his wife.

id rather be fat

How old is his daughter?

Pics like this make me glad Ive always been a forever lanklet.

Obesity is truly the worst. Even if by god you manage to shed the fat and poundage, you can end up looking like a deflated hot air balloon when you take your shirt off, from all the extra skin you're left with. Bet that shit smells too.

You have to be real careful to lose weight slowly enough that your body has time to adjust by tightening up your extra skin. If you don't do it right you end up looking like this guy.

Is there any fix? What if you got fat again, then lost weight for the second time, but did it much more gradually so your body had time to adjust? Would that work?

20 I think

Only fix for that is surgical removal I'm pretty sure. No avoiding the scars.

I cant stop farting when I cum on my hermit crab

Who shits on him and is any of it written or recorded?

nice

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>Adams only married in 2014
>child-free

read between the lines, dumbfuck. just because a girl might be better tna doesn’t mean she’s wife material.

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Why does he cry so fucking much?

Needs a nose job

The craziest part of all is that Chasing Amy is actually about his relationship with Joey, and Joey, the absolutely madwoman, actually agreed to play herself.

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what is the "brown area"?

if trump tweeted this you incels would be defending it s "normal" or even presidential.

>I am 50 years old and still dress like a junior high skater
>ps I was so fat I got a heartattack and almost died

That is one ugly ass woman

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imagine being his wife

yeah it would be based. because trump hates dumb libshits like you, see? grade-A comedy.

This makes it the most cuck film of all time. This is a shocking revelation even for Kevin Smith what the flying fuck is wrong with him.

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>2014
Oh this was around that whole feminist/sexism in media fad. I bet he just made the story up so he wouldn't get all metoo'd.

>wearing a jay & silent bob t shirt to his wedding
Based.

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this made me laugh user

>Only fix for that is surgical removal I'm pretty sure. No avoiding the scars.
Yeah. That's what I've heard but I'm curious if there's anything new.

As for the scars, I've heard if a person loses weight slowly enough they won't have those awful stretch marks. You slowly and gradually give the body time to adjust to the decreased mass, and your skin will repair itself without leaving behind the nasty stretch mark scars. I believe that's the theory anyway. Never actually seen it happen to be sure tho.

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based smiths poster

>Women's taint area

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I'm amazed how bad pusy actually smells. I still want to lick it and stick my dick in it tho

Have sex, Incel

i agree with you user

I just don't see it. I feel I would have to keep it traditional

go back

Based Kevin triggering fat shut in incels because he was one of them that got out and appreciates sex at their degenerate level which they will never fulfill

Clutch more at your pearls while he pearl necklaces his WHOLESOME MONOGAMOUS WIFE

No, with one hole system she will absorb sunlight and moisture like a plant to stay alive.

Foids are basically just one big hole anyway.

I kind of want to watch Chasing Amy now

hoping its fake

is that a fucking block of cheese or butter he is eating?!

It's cheese, he already finished the sticks of butter.

it's cheese but it's photoshopped in

Stretchmarks are acquired during weight gain, not weight loss. Once they appear they'll be purple or red colored. If you lose weight quick enough those can heal though there's no guarantee. If stretch marks turn white they never heal, ever. There are some experimental operations with lasers to repair the damage but nothing concrete yet.

As for loose skin, that depends. Skin is constantly expanding and contracting throughout your entire life. As you get older the ability of your skin to snap back to it's original shape decreases, which is why seniors become saggy and deformed looking even if they've been relatively healthy throughout their life.

When you put on an extreme amount of weight your skin expands more than it normally should, which is why stretch marks form. When that happens, you're permanently adding diameter to your skin that no amount of weight loss or exercise will be able to overcome.

>t. former fat fuck

>but it's photoshopped in
sure thing, Kevin

Her brown smeared taint and sloppy farty butthole area pwns his dick

how fat were you? I was chubby in high school, got super thin, gained some weight in my early 20's and cut myself down to 145. Doing it slowly I didn't have any excess skin flapage, though at my heaviest I wasn't that fat (6 foot 190 heaviest). I have stretch marks though.

Currently 155 from drinking too much, almost a month without a drink trying to drop the new ten pounds. Feel bloated, but I think I stopped before a beer belly could form.

Clerks aged just fine. Youre just a bitter incel basedboy cuck out of touch with your inner gen x.

350+ at my heaviest, but I didn't go to a doctor for years and didn't weigh myself so it could have been higher than that. When I finally turned shit around I dropped as low as 160ish. I'm 190 now and exercise every day. Feels good to be strong again but I'm still embarrassed to take my shirt off.

Good for you for cutting down man, sorry you can't feel confident shirtless though.

Almost a month with no booze and I'm really not getting the scale to go down, I barely eat otherwise and hike like a madman. Maybe I'm just getting older.

Kevin Smith truly is a total retard.

This literally makes me want to vomit.

>Feels good to be strong again but I'm still embarrassed to take my shirt off.
thats just everyone who got /fit/ tbqh

Smith has never made a good movie and most of his films are financial failures.

God, I remember when some user made this pic in a Burton Vs. Smith thread.
That was around the time Man of Steel came out. I don't think I've laughed as much since.

this cant be real

Why so many surprised replies? This has been like the first picture reply in every Kevin Smith thread for the past few years.

who's hair is worse here?

Jazz jennings?

>How do you want your bride, groom?

Just Jason Mewes my shit up

But did he fuck her in the brown on the first night?

>naming your daughter after the fuck toy from a children's picture book
This nigga definitely pulls his dick asunder thinking about fucking her

This, it unironically makes me want to snap his stupid little fucking pencil neck

this guy is honest to god such an intolerable fucking loser

there's guys who are nerds or dorks or whatever and it's fine, they are true to themselves without any pretense and you can't fault them for that, even the fattest WoW addicted anime watching Star Wars virgins carry themselves with a certain disarming genuinity

but then there's absolute fucking morons like Kevin Smith who purposely and unapologetically try their hardest to subvert every single notion of masculinity or mainstream "coolness" by smugly going out of his way to be the lamest pathetic most uncool emasculated wimpy faggot he can possibly be

the type of guy who if he had a big dick would unironically get a penile ensmallment just so he could tweet a video of himself naked with a flaccid 0.5" incher crying at the ending of Lion King to make sure he didn't accidentally have any dignity left

How did I intuited his "brown" fascination

>ugly wife
>ugly kid
>industry joke
>obese
>heart attack

??

Okay but that hairstyle is great.

This was taken right before they they boned each other like they were cheating on each other WITH each other. Mere moments before her clit/brown/taint-area pOwned his dick.

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lmao

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He wrote and filmed a scene in a movie where he plays a sausage and she squashes him with her ass.
youtube.com/watch?v=sEcsMbPH1Gk

rent free

There is a taint that never goes out

So what is he looking at?

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It's nearly been three years. You need to get over it.

You can’t argue that it isn’t classy.

To be fair, I wish she'd flatten me with that fat brapper

>the type of guy who if he had a big dick would unironically get a penile ensmallment just so he could tweet a video of himself naked with a flaccid 0.5" incher crying at the ending of Lion King

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Have you tried fasting for a week once a month to start autophagy? That should deal at least with a bit of the skin, it's hard tho and you will probably need to do it fo a couple years, but after 3 days with water only your body will start digesting useless stuff (which also can help prevent tumors from forming as degenerated cells get eaten up for energy). All you loose is trash.

To this day I still don't understand what meant by 'her clit/brown/taint area'

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HER CLIT
HER TAINT
HER ASSHOLE
WHAT IS SO CONFUSING?

why didn't he just say crotch

She’s got one of those nasty pussies.

>tfw Kevin Smith is too deep for you to understand

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With how deep he's diving I'd rather stay in the shallows.

Imagine being married to him and reading this about you on the internet.

Didn't sound like it from some of the shit he writes, seeing as he's so into oversharing.

He tells a 'hilarious' anecdote about how he asks for a blowjob while she's putting her makeup on getting ready to go out somewhere, and she 'quips' is it your birthday? So he settles for jerking off staring at her arsehole.

Either the whole story is a joke, or he really lives one of those sad existences where your wife only blows you on your birthday.