What was his fucking problem?

Kek how new are you user?

Welcome to Yea Forums you fucking faggot

Hector rekt every single Greek that opposed him. Cant really blame him for being unabke to beat a guy who was basically cheating.

Newfag detected

Hector was the most honourable man in the Iliad.

High quality troll

the filmmakers still changed the story from one of Achilles having to chase down Hector after days of chasing him around the city, to one of HECTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOR and an ebin fight

A better question is what was THIS guys fucking problem?

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Did you also just watch this on BBC America?

They don’t make epic movies like this anymore. Only capeshit. Back in the day Troy was mediocre even

Yeah Hector dies to achillies like a fucking bitch in the Illiad. Runs from him for days and when he finally does decide to fight him he gets absolutely destroyed like it was nothing. Cant imagine the movie putting that in though. Would have been way to anti-climatic.

This

Was in a good mood after sacrificing his daughter and freeing himself from being a cuck.

>the filmmakers still changed the story from one of Achilles having to chase down Hector

yea and they removed gods for some reason. if they kept it in, capeshit would be /his/ kino

Y'all ain't real
That yalls Achilles heel

Just put the benny hill theme in the background and fast forward until achilles catches up.

Helen technically was rightfully his, according to the Aphrodite. He was misled because Athena and Hera were pissed he favour Aphrodite.
He believed Achilles cucked him hard and therefore took Achilles' waifu. Its a shame they decided against his redemption arc in the movie

>Cant really blame him for being unabke to beat a guy who was basically cheating
Achilles was a better warrior than Hector. simple as. Hector was better at everything else yes, but not a warrior.

>dies to achillies like a fucking bitch
>when he finally does decide to fight him he gets absolutely destroyed like it was nothing

He wasn't acting like a bitch, he knew Achilles would destroy him. That's why he tries to run away from him but when realized how pointless it was he decided to take it like a man, embracing his fate and leaving his family behind.

>but when realized how pointless it was
but he is tricked. Athena pretends to be his brother to fight with him against Achilles

It's a cautionary tale about having vapid pleasure seeking morons bringing about the end of your civilization.

>mfw rewatched that movie last month
>that true-to-life sack of Troy where you can actually see men getting in line and bending women over
>soldiers chucking babies through windows and hanging old men
Would this even fly in today's climate? People got bitchy over a single rape in GoT...

Ancient Greek gods were far better than the mary sue god of todays religions.

Based realityposter

>have some weak wh*teoid play the part of the proud BLACK Trojan Steppe Warrior
>this level of revisionism

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This guy!

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It would be a 6 hour movie explaining who all the fuckers are

Hector was the rolemodel for medieval knighthood. He was a great warrior who could take on Ajax and so on, but he was just a human. Achilles was dunked into the river Styx and invincible. Like he had unnatural rolls and luck +5. What was Hector supposed to do about that, as a mere human?

No good choice there, no matter which you pick you risk pissing off 2 other goddesses. Those bitches tend to fuck up any mortal's life for just looking at them wrong

I don't remember that at all.

>a guy running around with god hacks on was able to beat Hector in a fight
Gee i wonder why.

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>greeks and turkroaches are black
This level of delusion

>a demigod with a prophecy to be much stronger than his father which made Zeus not wanna bang his mother due to being shit scared of the result
>reeee why is he too strong
welcome to greek mythology.

I actually didn't mind not having the gods in their Illiad roles. As we know that the rape of Troy likely did occur, this was a nice little window into what the siege of Troy may have been like during the bronze age.

The filmmakers even kept elements that would mythologized as the stories of Troy were told around campfires (Achilles and his Achilles tendon as his only weak point, as this the only place soldiers saw the arrow still penetrating him, etc...).

Movie was alright but that opening scene with Achilles anime fighting some huge baldlet was just a bit too silly.

Also apart from maybe Bana nobody in the movie looked particularly "greek".

The Ajax V. Hector duel was pretty good

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Athena was a top-tier milf though, I don't think she would've done much except chuckle at his undeveloped taste. Hera was seething landwhale-tier though

Btw. a relatively unknown part of the story is that the reason those bitches argued in the first place was the goddess of discord, who got mad for not being invited to some wedding. So she made a golden apple with "to the most beautiful" written on it, and rolled it between the feet of the other ones.

>baldlet
dude was like 6'5"

I didn't know that, thanks user

>my feelings when

Zoomer faggots

and? holy shit how small are you if you think 6'5 is tall?

>So she made a golden apple with "to the most beautiful" written on it, and rolled it between the feet of other ones
good. Psyche is mine.

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Baldlet is referring to his lack of hair, though the proper term is hairlet.

considering helen of sparta is the most beautiful woman on the face of the known world, it was everyone else that had a problem

>The filmmakers even kept elements that would mythologized as the stories of Troy were told around campfires (Achilles and his Achilles tendon as his only weak point, as this the only place soldiers saw the arrow still penetrating him, etc...).

Fuck i never thought of it like that. Pretty clever desu

>goddess of being lolsorandom xD

Why did the other gods put up with her shit?

they didn't. Only a dozen or so would be in Olympus doing nothing.

They knew in the future she would create a chatting platform in her name for GAYmers to form suicide pacts in.

So it was all worth it in the end.

Also apart from maybe Bana nobody in the movie looked particularly "greek".
Yeah. This is how they shouls have looked

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Watching this on BBC are you?

idk I use baldlets to describe the most unfortunate subclass in society: balding manlets.

fuck off bringing this into the thread. just one thread could not be turned into /pol/ please

>rape in 18+ film vs rape in late night (9pm) weekly television

Did this show ever come out? What the fuck were they thinking?

t.wh*toid weakling

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Honestly though if Achilles actually did exist it's likely he was black.
Noone else could be that strong and style over everyone with such ease.

It's pretty neat. He rips out the arrows that struck him in the chest and heart, but the soldiers gathering around would've only seen the arrow slicing through his tendon.

There are many moments like that, but I haven't read the Illiad in a whole so I can't make the connection.
Same as how it's not only Aenas escaping but a whole little expedition of trojans escaping who you might as well head-canon as having sailed to Phoenicia and then Alba Longa, and formed Rome.

>tfw we got Passion of the Christ, Troy, Alexander, and Kingdom of Heaven back to back
>tfw a new wave of historykino isn't in the cards because Ben Hurrdurr flopped

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I swear that I'm not kidding. All you have to do is watch the last ten minutes.

GoT would have the 18+ label if it were a movie though.

I would call that a bald manlet, but I can see why you would do that.

>There are many moments like that, but I haven't read the Illiad in a whole so I can't make the connection.
the judgement of Paris isn't in the illiad but someone later on added that in. illiad begins late on into the war and ends with the funeral of hector, or Priam and Achilles chatting I think

>Achillies would have been black
>a greek would have been black
Ok

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Whoever did this needs to lurk more.

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My "I, Flamininus" and Algerian war scripts are still in the work user...

The most elite soldiers in the world are essentially all white.

underrated

Is that a verified photo of the actual event that transpired? Yeah didn't think so.

greek gods were made in their own image. are any of the greek gods depicted as black (by the greeks)?

Do you wear a bib when you ravenously consume bait, or do you let it just get all over the place?

Rusty as shit on muh Greek mythology, but I thought Aeneas and the gang went on to found Carthage

He fucked its queen but that was it.
She then sudoked when he pimped and dumped like a true Roman Chad.

Aeneas was the father of the Roman race.

Thank Ze*s for that.

he went to Carthage, banged Dido, fucked her over, felt guilty, started shit with the estrucans and eventually had spawn which were Romulus and Remus (who founded Rome)

Pretty sure they went to Italy, but Carthage was involved somehow. I took Latin well over a decade ago so I could be wrong.

No. Aeneas founded Rome. He fucked the queen of Carthage who got beyond angry when he left her. Committing suicide and swearing that for all eternity, Carthage shall oppose the descendants of Aeneas (Romans).
Of course Virgil wrote that hundreds of years after Rome and Cartahge had 3 giant wars ending with Carthage being razed.

Also,
>greek mythology
This is purely Roman OC.

You're an idiot, ancient Greeks were far whiter than they are now. And I'm fairly sure Achilles was described as such with gold hair.

>Finished The Illiad two days ago

Okay this is epic

No. Care to explain why a greek would be black though? By the way this is ancient pottery that is at least a little more reliable than modern "we wuz" historians claiming every major historical figure was actually in fact black.

favourite character?
its OK if you say Paris btw. no judging here.

This.

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What the FUCK was this anons problem?
Also Ill give OP a (You) only to spite him.

Thanks lads, forgot how much of a chad he was

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>greeks btfo out of trojans
>trojan escapees go on to form rome and then btfo greeks
Pure pottery

>tfw used to get in trouble in high school for reading the illiad instead of our assigned readings
gatsby is fucking gay and so are you Mr M

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This thread is really interesting.

Are there any good documentaries about the ancient Greeks/myths and such?

It should be Odysseus.

its a myth invented by Augustus to boost Roman morale

I wished they had spent some of the money on The Anabasis.

t. GIDF

Friendly rivalry with reddit? Nah, you know a lot of anons here straight up despise that site and its smug meme thievery.

>they were turks even though the turks never step foot in Anatolia at that point!

>ywn see more Greek kino made in your lifetime
Sad t b h.

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Iliad is literally more gay then Gatsby, a 100% white straight millionaire.

>ancient pottery
>reliable

I want to know why Achilles was so broken up about Patroclus.

They were poofters together?

Half of one day around the walls of Troy 3 times. Phobos was fucking with him. He was equal to Achiles in the matter of speed and endurance despite Achiles having the best, lightest hax armor ever. Achiles just got done beating the shit out of a minor river god after single handedly rutting the entire rest of the Trojan army in a slaughter as he was possessed by the most extreme aristeia anyone had ever witnessed. Hector had every right to be terrified of that Demi god. And when he was tricked by Aethena into facing him he realized the trick and still charged forth to meet his fate despite knowing he would die and Achiles knowing the exact weak point within his old armor Hector was wearing.

underrated

He was his teen boypussy. Greek elite was assigned to an older man that would teach them the wrongs.

He was a scared pussyass faggot who fought with a bow.

They didn't remove them entirely.

Themis is there. She sees the future. Achilles flat-out tells Briseis about the gods in one of the most kino speeches of the film.

>The gods envy us. They envy us because we're mortal. Because every moment might be our last. Everything is all the more beautiful because we're doomed. You will never be more lovely than you are now. We will never be here again.

>kek- referenced to Egyptian goddess of chaos
Fucking kek

>No Agammemnon and Menelaus saving the Greek fleet as brothers

The only worse crimes were leaving out Phoinix and Diomedes.

Diomedes would have stolen Achilles' thunder for the most part.

Don't forget that Zeus was the one who arranged for Eris to be left off the wedding invitations, and then suggested that she should show up anyway, in the first place.

You probably saw the shorter cut.

>turning a civilizational epic into a meme action movie
>Diomedes is not even cast in the film
>no Apollo
>no Athena
>no Ares
>no Aphrodite

what in the fuck

from what i've read of greek mythology it seems like zeus is a real nigger

I thought the gods intervened.

You're a fucking idiot.

Not gold specifically, but "flaxen-haired" is one of his epithets. Dude was blond.

Did film Hector know he was going to die when he went out to fight Achillies? He kind of seemed like he did.

If Hollywood keeps its near-monopoly on western film media with the alternatives being run by similarly-minded people, I don't think any of us are in for countrykino

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Yes, he did.

So what is it less reliable than modern "historians" claiming every notable person in history is black?

just read the odyssey, the iliad and the aeneid. you don't need any secondary shit, those books are worth their weight in gold

Aeneas wasn't directly responsible for the founding of Rome. Rather, he was said to be a distance ancestor, by way of Rhea Silvia, of the Eternal City's twin founders, Romulus and Remus (or rather, the city's founder Romulus, and his murdered brother Remus).

Also was film Achillies just fucking with Hector in their fight or was Hector actually putting up a fight?

Gay lovers most likely buy a think some things add him as his cousin instead to avoid all of that

All this while being the son of a fucking love goddess.

Virgil IDF pls go

Maybe if based Yorgos gets his oscar, he'll make some mythology kino.
I mean the Killing of the sacred deer was basically inspired by a Greek play.

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Hector is the most legit dude in that story, fuck off. The gods had to interfere to stop him.

You don’t fuck with Achilles and live through it

Yes. Part of the point is that Hector knows that he is going to die if he faces Achilles. Because Achilles is just that fucking good. He doesn't even move like everybody else, look at his fighting style, and remember how his Myrmidons describe Patroclus as "even moving like Achilles" to him after Patroclus dies. Hector manages to score a scrape on Achilles' armour in their duel, and the absolute whatthefuck on Achilles' face sells it as the first moment that anybody had ever actually managed to hit him. Before then? He didn't need it at all, he could have been fighting naked for all the good it would have done literally every single other person to ever fight him in his life.

Fucking with him for a good chunk of it. Hector landed one hit on his armour.

Wait how was it purely a meme filled action movie? What else did you expect out of it other than them including the gods? Which honestly probably would have made the film far too bloated.

>Get up, prince of Troy. Get up. I will not let a stone take my glory.
yep, he was just avin some bants before killing the guy

Yes, I have no doubt that "fair-haired Achilles" must have been black.

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>rekt every single
>draw with Ajax
>lost to Menelaus
>lost to Patroclus
>run like a butch in panic next time, claimed the kill after god Apollo rekt Patroclus
>run like a girl from Achilles, got killed
"rekt"

It's literally described in the book as white with golden ginger hair you brainlet

In the mythology he's raised as a shepherd's boy after being left out to die because of prophecy I think. He had a nymph/naiad waifu who loved him (imagine an ageless pretty elf GF). If I recall right in a supplemental story the Trojans take his dad's prized cow to be sacrificed or used or something, Paris goes to get it back, participates in some tournament/dueling/whatever and then is revealed to be the long lost son of Priam. Rather than keep him away as per the prophecy Priam decides to bring him back in. A comic series I read did a nice feel of it by having Paris be the tragic case of a good hard-working rustic boy who loves his parents who becomes corrupted by affluence and rags-to-riches.

That fight is still one of my favorites in all of sword and sandal kino.

I'll post some Iliadic/Mycenaean swag.

You already have a legit black guy in the expanded lore of the Iliad with Memnon of Aethiopia. Who was Zeus' grandson and whom fought Achilles almost to a standstill. Zeus wanted to weigh the scales of fate in favor of Memnon (much like for Hektor or Sarpedon) but was talked out of it and Achilles smites him.

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>literally gets absolutely btfo by Achillies
>legit
K

>Abducts and rapes a young white girl called Europa while disguised as a dark-skinned male cow.

Fitting.

Then how did he even kill his cousin? Fuck if he thought Achillies cousin was actually Achillies why did he even fight him in the first place?

Aphrodite best mom.

Any other god's spawn ends up dying a painful death.

He's /r9k/ crossed with a Leafposter with a chad body and divine powers

>'omg user help! Apollo is trying to rape me'
>pls be my gf
>'No'
>Fucking roastie cunt, enjoy being a tree

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Absolutely fucking with Hector, but Hector did alright enough to make Achilles not fuck around the whole time

Heat of battle and Patroculus wasn't as good as Achilles

Literallg what was Zeus's fucking problem? Was he autistic or what?

If anyone wants to try it themselves, the series is "Age of Bronze". Takes for fucking ever to get to the actual Iliadic combat (around 27 comics). It's by a poofer, but for the most part I rather liked their characterization. Particularly that Agamemnon and Menelaus are not gross portly ugly villains anymore. Menelaus is a poor cuckold and sympathetically vacillating between wanting Helen killed and just begging for his wife to come back to her lonely sons and daughters (or just daughters), Agamemnon is torn apart by the need to sacrifice his daughter to obtain the winds, Achilles isn't so much a confident chad yet but rather a headstrong and arrogant young boy.

salimbeti.com/micenei/ You can get an exhaustive take by an archaeologist or historian on mycenaean era and iliadic warfare here. Some of his stuff is very interpretative, since we can't tell what the fuck some vague thing like the mycenaean warrior vase is depicting, but it's reasonable educated guesses.

What would be a dream for me would be either a seasonal TV series or cinematic universe of the entire Greek Heroic Age. Start off either with the Gods themselves or the first cycle of Cadmus, Perseus and so on, then second stage/season is the Calydonian Boar Hunt, then the Argonauts, then the Oedipus and Seven Against Thebes era, then the Trojan War, then the collapse. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Greek_Heroic_Age

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base conolly poster

The notion of a benevolent god is childish, supreme power ultimately corrupts.

Who is the most handsome here? Probably Odisseus?

I'm amazed no one has tried to do a proper Epic Cycle serie

Season 1- Heracles builds Troy and puts Priam on the Throne, the Marriage of Thetis and Pelleus, The Curse of the House of Atreus, Achilles' childhood,The Seven Against Thebes, and the Judgement of Paris as the finale

Season 2- Agammemon rallies the Achaens, the sacrifice if Iphigenia, and the early years if the War

Season 3- The Illiad

Season 4- The Little Illiad featuring Memnon and Penthesilea, Achilles' death

Season 5- The Fall of Troy and the returns. Odysseus gets lost, Agammemnon is killed, and Aeneas rallies the surviving Trojans

Season 6- The Odyssey, Aeneid, and Oresteia. The Gods decide to withdraw from Human affairs.

Being the absolutely most powerful in ancient mythology means you are absolutely the biggest dick and all of reality is shaped by your whims. Only Poseidon gives Zeus a run for his money on being a fickle cunt. And to be fair Zeus is not always trying to be a dick, its just any action he takes that might seem insignificant to him changes the whole universe

>blacks are the super race of strangth and kangs n shit
>get enslaved by every single weaker race on the planet

Why was Priam so fucking incompetent? He had plenty of advisors telling him exactly what he needed to do to win the war.

the Homeric Cinematic Universe

there's quite a lot of mythology kino that studios just don't touch. perhaps it only sells to autists and history buffs.

Gaia complained to Zeus that the numerous demigods spawned by the various gods were weighing her down and were destroying the world with their rages and wars and antics.

So he engineered the Trojan War to kill most of them off. Remember, even by the time of Troy, most of the heroes were already dead and gone. Herakles had ascended to Olympus already, Castor and Pollux were dead/ascended, and so on. Troy was just the last gasp.

Aeneid would come before Odyssey. Aeneas splits and gets the fuck out of there, whereas Odysseus spends a decade trapped on a desert island fucking a qt cave naiad.

Reminder Agamemnon was a massive cuck who couldn't do shit without Achillies help/approval

I could buy that idea, if it's not the official one. A kind of holocaust to kill off the age of gold or age of silver, whatever the heroic age was.

To be fair lad modern democracy should go back to that.

I'd be okay with just a Classical Cinematic Universe that uses Greek, Roman, Celtic, and other contemporary mythologies. Do it like AHS where each season is devoted to a different story, or have a couple running at once that connect thematically.

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So if Achillies was so badass why didnt he go full on conqueror mode like Alexander?

Cause he died in Troy

He was just the ultimate warrior not a ultimate person in anyway
He couldn't be beaten in a fight and it was mostly a game to him anyway. If the fight didn't feel like his problem or he had his fee fees hurt he wouldn't do it. When he did then he would win every fight

>Troy was just the last gasp.

Feels like that was clarified in the original script, but was cut since they assumed the audience didn't know enough of the lore. It framed Achilles' motivation in the light of the war being 'the one' without the context as to why.

It is the official one, or at least an official one, myth being what it is. It's in the Cypria or whatever, somewhere in the Trojan Cycle. The other myth is that Zeus had only allowed all the demigods to be born because he needed a super-amazing one in particular to kill Giants for him. Once he had Herakles, he didn't need the rest, so he arranged for them to be taken out.

Reminder Alexander is another black man that history tries to constantly portray as white..

>tfw by his late 20s Alexander had built an empire that stretched from greece to india
>tfw in my late 20s i just masturbate 3 times and day and cant find a job

He was the hero Troy needed though. Fuck achilles and his shitty plot armor for killing ourboy kektor.

Turns out you can do great things if Daddy gives you tutoring by a great philosopher and an invincible army

He was also raised from birth for the position. If you want to feel bad you can find some rags to riches kind of personality. But for all the greatness of achilles there's been 99% more late 20 year old faggots whose greatest accomplishment was making a sheep orgasm on their farm.

Don't feel bad user, Caesar felt exactly the same and actually broke down crying over it when he walked past a statue of him

No. He was a massive poz infected pussy

I know that feel
Although Alexander at least had an amazing reformed army he inherited from his dad

well you probably weren't literally raised to conquer shit from a young age, told you were a god by your mom, and taught by the preeminent philosopher of the age and given the worlds best heavy cavalry on silver platter.

WE

WUZ

KARA BOĞA My brother, Wh*toids always try to steal our history.
t. Volga Aethiopian

Patroclus was basically his brother that he knew the best over the entire time he was at war and he basically became the last thing Achilles had that kept him from going berserk after losing his honour when Agamemnon took Briseis from him. Patroclus’ death was what basically made him lose control and become a berserker basically raping the shit out of the Trojans and basically defiling Hector’s body for days in a tent and only gained morality back for an instant when Priam begged for the body to be returned for burial.
Patroclus’ death was basically the final event that lead to Achilles going suicidal as per the prophecy that his mother told him before the war began.

But he also fucking died around that time.

Would you rather have a long life or build a massive empire that just ended up falling apart?

Alexander was a fucking retard anyway, nearly got himself killed half a dozen times and went so barbar that he was poisoned by one of his closest friends.

i mean you gotta respect a commander who will literally be in the charge with you EVERY TIME. his solders went all the way to fucking india with him.

>that he was poisoned by one of his closest friends.
You mean he got ticked by a mosquito.

The BLACK man is the epitome of male dominance and masculinity, you can't rewrite history based on the feelings of lil wh*toids, the true can be seen when comparing palebois with BLACK bull demigods that still walk among us
Let's start by looking at his body. His body is large. His domineering size makes his presence known without him even needing to point himself out. He is muscular, as a result of his high levels of testosterone. This gives him the appearance of health and strength. He is then covered by his dark skin. This dark skin reminds us of his ruggedness, a feature that developed due to being exposed to the scorching sun of africa, made to withstand such an extreme condition. It also has a psychological effect on the observer. The dark skin reminds us of our dark, deep desires that emerge from our primal subconscious past.
The BLACK man's demeanor is one of alphaness. He is dominant, assertive, and can be explosively aggressive. His behaviour strikes fear into the more timid, cowardly races of man(ʷʰ*ᵀᵉ dogs)
The summit of expression of his masculinity on his body is his penis. The BLACK penis is largest of all the races. As the penis is the penultimate symbol of manhood, this alone would suffice to make the BLACK man the most masculine of men. This large penis is able fulfill the desire of the neediest of women, being able to more than fill all the recesses of the vagina. Its length ensures that when it ejaculates, the potent african seed will immediately enter the womb of the woman the BLACK man impregnates.
In total, the BLACK man expresses this masculinity in a most exemplary manner in bed. When he fucks, he unleashes the entirety of his lusts and desires upon his partner without any restraint.
All this is the reason why the BLACK man is the epitome of masculinity.

>“His friends were surprised, and asked him the reason of it. ‘Do you think,’ said he, ‘I have not just cause to weep, when I consider that Alexander at my age had conquered so many nations, and I have all this time done nothing that is memorable?’”

Caesar literally posting itt

Fucking Redditors not knowing kek=lol in orcish

>"If they ever tell my story, let them say I walked with giants. Men rise and fall like the winter wheat, but these names will never die.

Pure fucking kino

Just finished watching this on BBC. Braveheart is on now. Weird that they show that movie on BBC....

What did you guys think of this movie anyway? I thought it pretty decent.

He died at about the right time for his own personal glory to be at its peak, which is exactly how Alexander would've wanted to go
If he lived longer he would have tarnished his legacy countless times

>blow the fuck out out
>my face when when
I fucking hate you newfags

>"Let them say I lived in the time of Hector, tamer of horses. Let them say I lived in the time of Achilles."
Magnificent.

>nobody will remember your name

This.

Also

>Pottery

>their names are remembered thousands of years after their death and will continue to be remembered
>youll most likely be forgotten within 100 years of your own death

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because Diane Kruger is a QT

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that's life m8

>If he lived longer he would have tarnished his legacy countless times
Do you think he would've been defeated in Carthage?

adulthood is realising he did nothing wrong and Paris was a fag

Hector got it the worst. He had a qt wife and child and the adoration of the people, but then the dipshit younger brother had to succumb to his oneitis

exactly

I dont see why they would have been able to take him on. Csrthage couldnt even handle the fucking Romans.

Not really. It isn't losing a battle that I think would tarnish his glory, its his debauchery setting in when he has to stop conquering that would ruin him for a long time. He would be remembered as Alexander the formerly great, the man who spent most his life in a drunken stupor adopting the excesses of every culture around him until he died a lonely middle aged man. All of his friends would abandon him or just be killed by accidents due to Alexanders drunken state. At best he dies trying to sail around the world, at worst he dies with an empire in absolute chaos and an army just good enough to keep it together while he is alive. The four states that come about when he died young would probably be hundreds due to years of mismanagement

>8th grade
>have class project on Greek gods
>get Aphrodite
>google Aphrodite
>lots of pronz
>school's IT wizard catches me
>comes to computer lab and tells teacher
>they try to chew me out for looking at porn in school
>tell teacher what did she expect would happen when googling the Goddess of sex, love, procreation, etc, etc.
>teacher and wizard each don a 'shit, he's right' expression
>allowed to continue my work
>saved a bunch of mental images for my mental spank bank
>fap furiously later that night
>got an A

Not if you're the J-Man, heretic

>Bill cucked Jerry out of a cream latte
never change reddit

>Be in 8th grade
>Taking Latin because hot teacher
>Have project about Zeus and his lovers
>Feel sick to my stomach reading about his various animal antics
And that’s how I learned Ancient Greece was full of degenerates

True. But then again, had he lived a little longer, he would have been able to father and raise a proper heir that would squander all the lands he conquered. His "empire" was built on the power of his name and the myth it inspired, and it crumbled the moment he ceased to exist.
Eh, besides, I don't even think he was capable of joining active combat anymore (he got rekt in some citadel in India and lost half his lung) which is why I suggested he would have been defeated eventually and his legend tarnished.
What a lucky cunt he was. Born in the right place, at the right time and died at the right time as well.

Theories are he'd either go towards Italy or Arabia or Yemen. Alexander Molossus of Epirus was busy fighting in Italy at the same time as Alexander's Conquests and said something to the effect of "Alexander is off fighting men in dresses while I'm busy fighting ITALIAN BVLLS aka TORO NERO". perseus.tufts.edu/hopper/text?doc=Perseus:text:1999.02.0026:book=9:chapter=19

But he didn't fight the Romans, rather he was fighting Lucanians and Apulians at the boot of Italy. I'd say that Alexander's empire would have fallen apart as he lived rather than after his death, had he lived. His orientalizing, his acclimatizing with Iranian recruits/subjects would have further alienated Macedonians and he would have been drawn back from any further campaigns by rebellions further afield in the empire.

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This. Tbh wasnt there alot of unrest in the empire as it was right before he died anyways?

He was absolutely fucking with him. Achilles wanted to humiliate Hector by watching him exhaust himself in a battle he'll never win. To Hector's credit, he managed to land a scratch Achilles' armor which likely never happened before then.

Carthage by the time of Alexander was actually on an upward stride towards the path of glory. It was one of the last Phoenician cities to preserve the greatness of their empire and after Alex destroyed Tyre (out of spite no less) they were the uncontested master of the Mediterranean. And just think, the siege of Tyre, an ageing city long past its glory, cost Alex a shitton of money, resources and men and most importantly time. How would he have dealt with a young and flourishing Carthage?

Also as for what was going on in Italy around this time (323) Rome held nothing more than the middle of Italy. They may have subjugated the Etruscans by this point, I am not sure, but they were one power among many at this point whereas around 270 or so they are the hegemons of Italy (excluding Sicily and North of the Po). Rome and Carthage actually had a treaty of friendship that only broke apart after Pyrrus of Epirus had his fun, so Alexander would have fought Rome + Carthage + native Italics and probably Greeks.

It's been awhile since I was reading deep into it but I believe when he returned he had to set a lot of wrongs with satraps who were reigning like they were independent kings while he was busy in India. It's pretty much certain the minute he goes far to Arabia or Italy people in the peripheries will want to rule independently or leave to return home (If Greek or macedonian) or rebel against his increasing despotic and insane behavior. I'd say the only thing that could have saved him is if he had the foresight to develop a 'secret police' type of organization when he returned to Babylon. Failure to do so and he'd be a lot like Tamerlane where he's always on campaign (which he likes) because of people rebelling (which he don't like).

Kek

Alexander was raised in an incredibly powerful and wealthy family with some of the best minds in the world as his tutors. He was also handed a well trained and large army in his late teens. He was basically destined to conqueror the ancient world.

Don't feel bad, user. There are plenty of contemporary examples of people going from rags to riches in their 20s if you need motivation.

All the retards replying to you angrily made me laugh.
Don't ever stop baiting them based bbc poster.

He did a really good job placating his non-Greek conquests. Babylon to Persia was perfectly fine with a badass warrior god king. Egypt had a new Pharoah that they thought deserved it. It was Greece who was getting fed up with him
>I am the son of a god
>Dude we knew your dad and the only reason you lead us is because of him
>He dresses Babylonian
>This crazy fucker while march us off the face of the earth
>Now he doesn’t even want to return to Greece, he might as well be Persian

i remember also watching a tv serie or made for tv movie called: Helen of Troy
it was a pretty damn good serie

youtube.com/watch?v=nJGaws5qPr8
youtube.com/watch?v=9x7n0ELVKHI
ah the full serie

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>A pussy
>Killed Achilles

Later, after slaying Hector and other heroes, Achilles dies by an arrow of Paris with Apollo's help. According to Hyginus (Fabulae, 107) Apollo disguised himself as Paris.
Later in the war, after Philoctetes mortally wounds Paris, Helen makes her way to Mount Ida where she begs Paris's first wife, the nymph Oenone, to heal him. Still bitter that Paris had spurned her for his birthright in the city and then forgotten her for Helen, Oenone refuses. Helen returns alone to Troy, where Paris dies later the same day. In another version, Paris himself, in great pain, visits Oenone to plead for healing but is refused and dies on the mountainside. When Oenone hears of his funeral, she runs to his funeral pyre and throws herself in its fire.
After Paris's death, his brother Deiphobus married Helen and was then murdered by Menelaus in the sack of Troy.

>he siege of Tyre, an ageing city long past its glory, cost Alex a shitton of money, resources and men and most importantly time
Mainly because he had to build the land out to the city.

Talk to the GM, tell him its fucking bullshit

Patroclus was Achilles' older brother and practically his father figure as Peleus was an old man.
Its not just that which pisses off Achilles enough anyway, its that Hector took Patroclus' body as a trophy; along with Achilles' armour.

He got that good pussy bruv

>The Curse of the House of Atreus,
people would drop hard when Tantalus tries to feed his chopped up son to the Gods. Would not work on screen.

>Taking Latin
>Have project about Zeus
thats Jupiter, you pleb.

Patroclus was his cousin, not his older brother.

Made me think of

'ATE TROJANS
'ATE AGAMEMNON
'ATE THE GODS
'ATE A LONG LIFE WHERE I AM FORGOTTEN
'ATE ARROWS
'ATE GIRL DRESSES

luv armor
luv spears
luv achaeans
luv patroclus
luv glory

simple as

absolutely based

>Patroclus was his cousin, not his older brother.
were splitting hairs here. Peleus raised him

True enough I guess, the relationship was an intimate one of blood-and-soul-brothers. Whose everyone's favorite iliadic character, anyway? The hipster in me loves Sarpedon because he's a good bloke who chides Hektor in his moment of cowardice and I like to imagine he's a Sea People given his people are the Lycians/Lukka.

But for the main cast Odysseus.

Attached: Bronze Age Greeks #6.jpg (2574x1617, 2.53M)

Arguable. The Argonautica even has a scene where Peleus is leaving with Jason and the Argonauts, and Achilles is there as a toddler watching daddy leave. And Peleus wouldn't return for years and years.

We used Zeus for the original Greek mythology and Jupiter when talking about something exclusively Roman such as specific cults or temples

Achilles was a demigod, Hector was a mortal. So that's why he lost.

>Whose everyone's favorite iliadic character, anyway?
definitely Zeus with his 4D chess just to get woman to stop moaning at him

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>Iliad the equivalent of Al Bundy putting on a show to shut up a dozen Peggy Bundys and his kids so he can get some peace and quiet.

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>it's a diomedes runs off, kills everyone in his path, scares the shit out of achilles, injures a god and takes the involvement of Zeus to stop him episode

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Ajax is a favorite of mine
Just a huge fucking brute that never gets wounded and is just so strong on his own he didn’t need much divine help. He’s also not a stupid in anyway unlike later brutes in most stories.
I also really like Patroclus beyond the plot device he is often reduced to. He didn’t just impersonate Achilles he did a pretty damn good job of it. He always wasn’t a whiny bitch like Achilles and demanded proper entry into Hades.
Also a shout out to my man Nestor

>scares the shit out of achilles

Sorry , Ajax.

He would have killed Achilles later though had he not been convinced to skip the fight.

>completely ignoring he is given this power by Athena
I hope she forgives you.

Odysseus seems like best boy

conniving, clever but also reasonable and an all time favorite of the Greeks themselves who identified more with him rather than Hector or Achillies.

>Killed Achilles
you mean Apollo

Achilles being immortal is literally fanfiction

Jus don't eat any brains and she won't get mad. I love the idea of being so fucking mad at someone you eat their organs after they die. Diomedes' father did it and ate the brains of some fucker at 7 against thebes. A similar thing happened with hint bint Utbah eating muhammad's uncle's liver after her slave killed him.

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keked

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didn't Glaukos decide cannibalism seemed interesting as well?

>Achilles was dunked into the river Styx and invincible.
Literal retcon by butthurt Romans.

>Redpill: racist
holy fuck reddit

Why does his penis look like that?

he was held by the cankle, thus, his weakness

No, it's literally something that doesn't actually appear until much later. In the original myth of the Iliad, there's no mention of it at all. Achilles does everything he does purely because he's that fucking amazing.

First mention of the styx dipping is the Roman poet Statius in the 1st century AD.

He's uncut. The reason I was told the Greeks liked smaller penises in art is it conveyed sophrosyne or self-control. If you had a raging boner all the time it meant you were an uncontrolled animal always horny like a mutt in heat.

I am not familiar with his name but it wouldn't surprise me. I like how base and human the mythology of the Greeks was.

Theory:

Trojans were etruscans. When the city was sacked most of them migrated to Italy while a some of them stayed behind on Lemnos. They fucked around in Italy for a while when some of them became kings of Rome and they spread the story of their origins to their latin subjects and that's how you get the story of Aeneas being the ancestor of Romulus

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>lost to Patroclus

Wait, they had 2 fights?

And was Apollo the biggest bitch, cause it seems like he's constantly interfering?

Better to burn out than fade away
Its a shame he did not listen to Aristotle about the vices, he could have been even more great if he had

Then the Romans got butthurt and made him out to be a dirty cheater because they didn't appreciate tactics yet

>And was Apollo the biggest bitch, cause it seems like he's constantly interfering?
they did trash his temple to be fair

Interesting idea but the Etruscans as I understood it were likely really ancient Greeks who crossed over and settled Northern Italy. Kind of like a much smaller version of Siberians crossing the Bering and becoming the native americans. They were in Italy for quite some time

It would explain why Romans thought they were descended from Trojans. Some greek writers also thought that the Etruscans came from Anatolia

Never read the Illiad, is it worth it?

Don't talk shit about Apollo he was an ambitious motherfucker going from a simple healer god to a god of law, art, philosophy, archery, prophesy, and even the fucking sun.
They should not have trashed his temple or threatened one of his beloved cities. He is an active god unlike some of the other lazy fatasses on Olympus

yes

Skip it and read the Odyssey.

Rome thought it was descended from Trojans because it was originally Italy's own Australia. It was founded by former prisoners and refugees from various places that mixed with villages already there. They wanted a place in the great myths they knew and naturally decided they came from Troy(which is possible)

100% yes
absolutely wrong.

Yes just don't read it knowing Achilles will not do anything until the very end and comes off as very whiny.

Yes, you insufferable faggot.

Reminder none of your shitty western empires even come close to the glory of the eastern empires

Bana?

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>A whole huge ancient city and ethnic group gets exterminated because of some fools lust for pussy

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I didn't know that. Fuck, that makes him even cooler.

Sounds just like our times.....

Madman

Would a tv series ever work on greek mythos?
tie-ing down actors playing the gods to make constant cameos?
Every single god would have to be flawless. Id say Arterton as Athena anyway

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I think you mean Juppiter, pleb.

>Lose duel and crawl away
>Shoot arrows from a safe distance onto a target which has no idea you're even there
>Not a pussy

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>Zeus is black
>Poseidon is black
>Aphrodite is black
>all the Greeks are black

No thanks.

redpill: troy was in england

get black out of your fucking head man.
fuck me what a miserable cunt you are

Look at the new BBC show about Achilles, he's black.In the current year they'll make everybody black just like the new Assassins creed game.

>new BBC show
>new
wake the fuck up. it was over a year ago. no one watched it. it flopped. why are you still crying about it?

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>the new Assassins creed game.
I mean... the Greeks were never blonde Aryan pasty looking people either. They had a standard Mediterranean look.

Doesn't mean they won't try again. Troy (2004) would be hammered by 'critics' and whinny minorities for it's lack of diversity if it was released this year.

Try ten years if that.

I don't disagree with. I hate the whole "greeks were Aryan, Germanic" meme. I'm kinda Med myself and I have dark hair and pale skin.

No it wouldn't. Go outside.

Aphrodite is a cunt

The Terror released last year and had zero criticism to do with lack of diversity.
you need your head examined.

Sure it would. Look up what happend to Ridley Scotts 'Exodus' and Alex Proyas 'God of Egypt'. The later film received vitriolic hatred even though Rami Malek is an actual ethnic Egyptian but apparently he wasn't 'dark' enough.

see Meds are not Egyptians. Go outside.

It sounds neat

Troy was under appreciated anyways
I'm watching it again and it is enjoyable as fuck

There's no way to win. I would LOVE to have a Greek based historical kino, maybe in the style of HBO's Rome. It doesn't even have to be mythological. Even fucking Greece in antiquity is interesting. But, given the current climate, you know retards on that shithole twatter will derail the attention from the plot itself and the characters to "huuuurrr character A too huwhite or character B is a nigger, I don't remember niggers in ancient Greece, duurrrrrr"
Both sides of the spectrum suck ant they're just living off of perpetual butthurt. And since we know that some literally who's retarded opinion on twitter can sway a multi million dollar company's advertisement plan, you better believe they'll try and appease the vocal minority, all whilst pissing off the paying silent majority. Fucking look at the absolute state of GOT. It's not filled with minorities sure, but you can see how the narrative became a parody of its former self because it grew and changed to accommodate and pander to the growing audience of braindead, virtue signalling normies. An audience that publicly demand for muh feminine inclusion and "Girl powaaaaa".
I would love to have some historical show depicting Athens as the literal hurka durka keep the females behind closed doors conservative society that it was, but you know they'll retcon that shit anyways.

He's the original Anakin Skywalker

>Egyptians aren't Meds
>Egypt's shoreline is the Mediterranean sea
>Egyptians had intimate contact with Greeks,
>Greeks even being so influenced by them that they copied Doric columns and statues (see Archaic Greek statues)
>Egypt was literally ruled by Greeks (the Ptolemais)
>not Med

Kek very true
Basically if Sheev took Padme for himself and Obi Wan his apprentice who Count Dooku killed

Well said.

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where on earth did the "kek" entry come from? lol what the fuck

h t tp s://d is c or d.gg/ERvRaw

based

BASED

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>If you stay in Larissa, you will find peace. You will find a wonderful woman, and you will have sons and daughters, who will have children. And they will love you and remember you. But when your children are dead, and their children after them, your name will be forgotten.
>If you go to Troy, glory will be yours. They will write stories about your victories in thousands of years. The world will remember your name. But if you go to Troy, you will never come back. For your glory walks hand in hand with your doom. And I shall never see you again.

Choose, Yea Forums.

Glory, if I'm honest.

But did anyone ever really love Achillies?

PROUD

That's the point, user. If he stayed behind, he would find love. But if he went to Troy, he would find glory.

You know those movies where a guy sacrifices himself to save earth from an asteroid or old soviet nuke system? That's the best way I can think of to go out. In space, writing my name across the stars by saving everyone. If only I had the chance.