NO BLADE CAN PIECE ME

NO BLADE CAN PIECE ME

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My armor is like tenfold shields, my teeth are swords, my claws spears, the shock of my tail a thunderbolt, my wings a hurricane, and my breath death!

i am no blade

REVENGE YOU?

orlly well how 'bout THIS blade
*unzips dick*

I AM KING

UNDER THE MOUNTAIN

i want to massage his balls.

*flies toward Springfield*
I AM SNEED
I AM CHUCK

*dies like a bitch after 10 mins of screen time*

Based.

Surely if he were trying to argue for his superiority he would claim that his attributes were above that of man-made inventions like swords and spears rather than analogous to them.

tell me more, I'm interested

*steals you're heart*

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NO COCK CAN FUCK ME
I AM NO COCK

i think incredibly few (read: 0) people can claim their teeth are like swords

He was describing himself in terms a puny human mind could comprehend.

came for this
was not disappointed

What about dick?

THE KING UNDER THE MOUNTAIN IS DEAD! I TOOK HIS THRONE! I ATE HIS PEOPLE LIKE A WOLF AMONG SHEEP! I KILL WHERE I WISH, WHEN I WISH! MY ARMOR IS IRON! NO BLADE CAN PIERCE ME!

WHAT DID HE PROMISE YOU, A SHARE OF THE TREASURE, AS IF IT WAS HIS TO GIVE? I WILL NOT PART WITH A SINGLE COIN! NOT ONE PIECE OF IT! MY TEETH ARE SWORDS! MY CLAWS ARE SPEARS! MY WINGS... ARE A HURRICANE!

Me too, user

What if you told Smaug you didn't want his treasure but to fuck him in the ass?

Why didn't anyone poison Smaug? Just take a pack mule and pack it's bags full of arsenic or something and let the dumb lizard eat it.

>Not wanting him to fuck you in the ass
pleb

MY HEMIPENES ARE GLAIVES

These movies were great, super underrated.

only good post in this thread

JOHN HURT AS THE VOICE OF THE DRAGON

*wyvern*

She smelled of cheap perfume and dead insects.

so they can no longer use the water as drinking water, right? You can't have a giant dragon(even if he is a manlet of his race) polluting your water haha

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I really wanted to ask smug if I could live there because no one would bother me because smug was around, and in return I'd leave snacks out for him and scavenge for more treasures for his hoard.

came to post this you fucker

I will not part with a sssssingle coin
NOT
ONE
PIECSSSE OF IT

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based

I went to Imax high as fuck, alone, and saw this movie, and the dragon was pure kino

Did you want to have sex with him?