What happened to segalposting?

>seagal energy drink
Wow

He's a fucking weeb :))
(Me, also a fucking weeb)

Exit Wounds is fucking dope

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Yeah, it's not bad either. I always preferred the ship setting though. Plus Tommy Lee Jones' character also gives it the slight edge for me.

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Fuck yeah, Seagal and his wonderful pistol skills!

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>Yea Forums does an interview

music.avclub.com/run-the-jewels-on-the-brutality-music-and-magic-of-st-1798274718

noguns here, is segal holding his gun in a weird way? It just doesn't look right somehow.

If he said burial would he have gotten a shovel and dug a hole for 3 hours to spite him?

Segal was in CIA black ops. He knows secret tricks.

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>mostly seems to fuck Slav and Asian women
What did Steven mean by this?

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Is this art?

He's being pulled by something isn't he?

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thread theme
youtube.com/watch?v=3v4-zYghodc

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Try On Deadly Ground or Marked for Death maybe?

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Anyone ever try his energy drink? Mandatory
youtube.com/watch?v=IId64OJdCKM

They banged all night and his clothes were still perfect. I love this man, not even his clothes can look bad.

Is this real?
Is that a segal impersonator?
Is this man the real deal meme?

youtube.com/watch?v=VQt6r_RCV1M

he supposedly has 2 sex secretaries or something

It's real.
amazon.com/Cherry-Charge-Energy-Drink-Ounce/dp/B000BB3ZBE
You think Steven would just let anyone put his good name on any shoddy product?

I think the camera moved past him then he was put into that scene in post.

>ronda rousey
>if it's a her I've never heard of her
BTFO

Marked for death, out for justice, and under siege
>top tier
Hard to kill and above the law
>slightly below top
Fire down below, exit wounds, on deadly ground
> beginning of the trail of kino to video

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Which is best Seagal?

>Italian Seagal
>Native American Seagal
>Black Seagal
>Asian Seagal
>Slav Seagal

Nippon Seagal

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Definitely Asian Seagal. A movie about his "experiences" as a teenager growing up in Japan, and studying under a legendary martial arts master, while also dealing with the Yakuza on the side would make for great kino. I'll give second place to Slav Seagal; he really needs to star in a buddy action comedy with Putin.

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EASY

Jewish Seagal.
Seagal being the Hebrew word for purple

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>His mother was of Dutch, English, and German descent, while his father was the son of Russian Jews who had relocated to the U.S.[12] He is also said to have Mongol heritage

Any one have the greentext about being a first time director about to get his break when the studio changes your lead actor last minute to stephen. It cracked me up

anyone have that interview with the jew that talks about Steven Seagal and how he wrote "the greatest script he ever read in his trailer"?

he speaks near perfect Japanese in kansai dialect. master weeb.

dey tooker

>movies arranged in abc order
A true patrician would order them by release date.

found it:
youtube.com/watch?v=V2B9jyZTp4w

He's just cook.

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Will never not look like goatee peter griffin.

Slav Seagal.

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It's weird, but I actually have a lot of nostalgia for his older movies since I used to watch them with my dad when I was a kid. I haven't seen most of the ones in the webms that usually get posted on here, so I may actually watch all his newer stuff at some point, to see if any of it is even watchable.

That's even funnier

Kino

I just have one question: how come you know this?

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youtube.com/watch?v=BAG_EkEcofI
Was it kino?

youtube.com/watch?v=2b5bG8Rcpxo

Has anybody ever figured out what they even say here? This scene blows my mind every time I watch it. It's so dense.

If you guys want a bonus you can watch Ritual (2000), written and starring Steven Seagal's daughter Ayako Fujitani and directed by Hideaki Anno.

That's right, that's Steven Seagal and Evangelion in the same sentence.

ultrakino

he's an hero

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What was his problem?

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EASY

kek

his best kino

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>i will snatch every mother fucker birthday
what the FUCK did he mean by this

hes a retard

Why is he shooting at the ground?
and why does he look like a manlet?

He's going to kill them, so they aren't going to be able to have any future birthdays. That's the most sense I can make of it.

birthday status: snatched

It's shopped. The original poster is ridiculous enough though.

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>You wanna know how I got these scars?

later, birthdays

>God Tier
Under Siege, Hard to Kill, Marked for Death, Out for Justice

>High Tier
Under Siege 2, Above the Law, The Glimmer Man

>Decent Tier
On Deadly Ground, Fire Down Below, Exit Wounds

The rest are all pretty bad, arguably some so-bad-its-good in there but generally not worth it

is he trying to be neil breen?

>bros
Kill yourself

why?

the most kino line ever
youtube.com/watch?v=3Jji78uEW14

lol!

Punaniposting was too good for this world
Does anyone have the screen of Punani album wiki page?

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ahhh this man is an icon

lol, I prefer this video.
youtube.com/watch?v=4MuAbyEseXA

>Where are you going?
>What do you think I'm doing?

I bet half of those DVDs are unplayable because the owner smeared his man jam all over them

THIS A NU WARS AND CAPE SHIT BOARD

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dey tooker

Arigato

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Post more Steven Seagal operator webms

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sublime, do you have the one where he's firing an assault rifle on a balcony

LMAOOOO

Here's a fun AMA.

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did anyone ask him about gene lebell choking him out and making steven shit himself?

I'm surprised he didn't just stop posting after the first few shitposts.

what movie is this from? the sniper one?

sloow
slooooow
slooooooooow
WADDLE WADDLE WADDLE

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fucking kek

Lost

To whom does this hot dog belong?

It's divine, the way he's not even looking where he's shooting, the awkward handling of the weapon.

Thought he was whipping out a banana at first

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anyone know where i can buy steven seagal brand spray on hair line

Actor, martial artist, musician, deity, lawman, joy giver, punani taker
Anything he cant do?

run

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forbes.com/sites/erikkain/2011/08/31/actor-steven-seagal-sued-for-driving-tank-into-arizona-home-killing-puppy/#3a12d6357489

>Seagal told a local radio station that animal cruelty was one of his pet peeves, and since the bust was an animal cruelty bust – which apparently requires the use of several armored cars, a tank, and dozens of sheriff’s deputies in full riot gear – Seagal decided to go along for the ride…and kill hundreds of roosters and a puppy in the process.

Doesn't even bother to remove the portrait of himself before filming. Absolute mad man.

you think he hit the Punani after that scene?

why is he wearing two watches

>that still-in-the-plastic-wrap "Celebrity guide to wine" VHS

pure class

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>not seagaltar

/r/ing that webm with the basketball player mocking Segal's Aikido

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This is how you dab on someone big time

Your mom's gravity

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This is better than pornography for Russians

Not sure but I know what I'm watching this weekend

>that story about how he got punched by stuntsman so hard he shitted himself

>That story about when he got choked out and shit himself.
He has shat himself quite a bit for some reason.

great boobs in that one too

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same. i wonder why 90's dads loved segal movies so much.

>anything better than slav Seagal
Idiot, durak, pidaras!

such intense and purposeful acting. he's truly mastered so much more than just the world martial arts

>I put out the fires
>I stop spills

Someone post the scene where he slow motion hand slaps a guy across the room and into an armoire.

but he said burial you retard

tactical advantage

>it hasn't been posted yet
youtube.com/watch?v=etHRPuw43no

Because he' so baller he has a Rolex and Patek sponsorship

it's so he can time his punches up to the second (averaged out between two time reference points)

Holy shit it just. keeps. going. They must be high as fuck.

the helicopter was on its death throes for 30 seconds and he just keeps shooting it

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if they actually fought it would last less than a second

Yeah, not even Tyson can contend with the power of aikido

I watched a movie a couple of days ago where Seagal was in a coma for 7 years. Upon awakening from the coma, he was lucid and talking within an hour. The following day he was walking and had full motor control.

I'm surprised he didn't kill people while in a coma

And he does this in his first day post-coma youtube.com/watch?v=1O-0PEFrGxs

>have gun
>put it right at meele range to shoot

Huh, his pronounciation of Russian isn't that bad.

He always hits.