I like you. And for that reason I'm out

They do that like once per show, they probably plan it just to create tension

Hi Sharks! My name is Ashley. Me and my best friend Bethany make cookies in my mom’s garage when we’re on break from college.
We are seeking $400,000 for a 10% stake in our company, which may seem high but my grandma tried our cookies and said they were really good! We hope to surpass Mrs. Fields in market share by 2022. Here’s a chart I made in Quickbooks.
I’m a great business partner because I’m currently pursuing a degree in sociology with a minor in communications, so I really know people!
Sharks, I hope you’ll lay out the DOUGH for us so we can get our cookie business INTO THE OVEN!

>yeah aight, baby what that ass do?

Attached: Daymond-John_40624.jpg (1940x900, 75K)

That's how 90% of the pitches go more or less. The people are totally delusional and think their company is worth way more than it is.

what were your profits during 2018?

We're pre-revenue but my silicon valley boyfriend said we should be evaluated at 8 million dollars

I love it. I'll give you 10,000 for 90% of the company, a 50 cent royalty on every cookie sold, and ownership of each of your firstborn children.

Attached: download (15).jpg (259x194, 6K)

hmmmmmm, and what are royalties?

It means you give me that much money, you stupid bitch

Attached: kevin ree.png (1200x600, 892K)

can i call my friend stephenie? shes really good at this stuff

My sides

Attached: giphy.gif (500x374, 1.23M)

I hate your business, but I’m gonna go in just to piss off Kevin. 11,000 dollars for 85% of your company, 51 cent royalty for each cookie sold. Aaaand 3 grand for a blowey joey right now.

Attached: E22A342D-F144-445C-8550-D258BAF95B40.jpg (750x562, 56K)

>that episode with the famous amos creator
>he's only got about $20K left in his name now and none of the sharks helped him
Feels bad man, he seemed like a coo old dude.

Attached: image.png (337x473, 354K)

I'll take your deal Mark Cuban!
watching the other sharks humiliate Robert is my guilty pleasure

>your product is great and I see a very profitable future if I were to invest
>but as my father always said, you win some and you lose some, and for that reason I'm out.

Thanks Robert, HOWEVER I would like to hear what Mark has to say. Mark?

youtube.com/watch?v=trR7EGWBQgg

Nothing will ever top this for me

i missed the skarkposting
glad its back

She is such a retard it's insane.
vimeo.com/75609272
at 4:12
In this situation, the product is self explanatory and only needs to display the "Prevents 99.9% bacteria, pollution,...etc" on the package for someone to get the gist and this is her fucking reason for pulling out. What an absolute joke.

dont they do that to see how the dude pitching will react/if he stresses out?

In all honesty, the fact you couldn't explain to me the atomic architecture of your product in 6 seconds with seven peer reviewed articles makes me not trust you. You're a fucking charletain gold digger and I'm out.

Attached: 104826364-1532632793524markcuban.1910x1000.jpg (1910x1000, 193K)

Where are the samples?

Attached: 5536b86e6da811e46e9eb33c-750-563.jpg (750x563, 59K)

>what is this familiar feeling

Attached: giphyccv.gif (478x264, 1.36M)

>Its a "Kevin has to pretend that he doesn't eat babies" episode

Attached: 105673788-1547234251354screenshot2019-01-11at2.12.52pm.png (1654x913, 1.11M)

You make a good point Mark. But that’s a real nigger move. I mean don’t shit on her lip and call her Sanchez dammit. I’ll tell ya what, if you go in half, I’ll meet you half way. But I want 99% of the company.

Attached: 86CE6F4D-B39B-4630-8813-AB30A37A1057.jpg (1910x1000, 142K)

mmmmm i love a good jewy milf

IT'S NOT PROPRIETARY YOU FUCKING MORON

WHAT'S TO STOP ME FROM MAKING MY OWN VERSION AND CRUSHING YOU LIKE THE WORM YOU ARE

Attached: shark-tank-mr-wonderful_rq1w3z.jpg (1200x600, 61K)

Your company makes yoga pants for dogs, you have no business plan, no money, no sales, and no prototype, but you're black so I'm gonna take a flyer on you.

I remember the episode where the guy's product was a fucking alarm clock that woke you up by cooking bacon by itself. Kevin shut that down then pulled out his army of lawyers line and made it even better. That was kino

post it

Didn't Trump touch her tits and she was cool with it til he became president? Ecen rich women act like lying whores.

youtube.com/watch?v=otP8BxB8zbc

Around the 20 minute mark

>I give you 50millions for 10% if you turn your oven into an oven for (them)))

Shark Tank, more like milk tanks

Attached: 4FC875F6-77A0-491D-8F7E-180432C3562E.png (831x623, 675K)

Hi shark my company let's you say the N word. It also lets you say fuck TRANNIES AND JANNIES while letting you get away with it ban free. I'm seeking $1 billion dollars for a 5% stake in our company.

Man, I completely lost it. I don't even know why this place makes me laugh so much anymore. I don't even watch Shark Tanks

God I hate her so much. She never questions/attacks the business, but always the person behind it. And often focusing on their appearance. I have a feeling that she's not a very nice person in real life.

The most dangerous game.. the kaffir... the black man

Barb is redpilled. She always btfo’s the crying woman pitch

Attached: 1552471226296.jpg (646x687, 69K)

>Ain't no one understand the words that are comin' out of yo mouth! And for the reason, I'm out.

Attached: Daymond-John-3[1].jpg (1000x700, 108K)

>You have until the end of this sentence to take my deal, and for that reason, I'm out.

Attached: image[1].jpg (811x608, 30K)

damn I got suckered into watching this whole thing

You should watch it, Kevin O’Leary is a national treasure.
>tfw he didn’t become the PM candidate for the Conservatives
Despite his pandering to neocons he still would’ve been better then the actual neocon they got.

>"just the equity?"
>"are you kidding of course I want the equity. I want 20%"

kek

so could they have actually made their money back with this thing?

had never heard of it before and the shits 5 years old already

Have you ever drank a glass of black rhinoceros blood? Of course not, I was just being colloquial to start this story with an anecdote. The first time I had a glass I was in South Africa, taking a celebratory drink in Johannesburg after completing a successful hunt. You see, in South Africa they don't hunt lion, or elephant. We hunted a more dangerous game: the kaffir, or black man. I finally had a 7 year old boy cornered in an Oingo Bongo merchandise warehouse when the thoughts passed through my mind: Should I pull the trigger? Can I ever come back to who I was before this moment? I pulled the trigger, made my first 100 million dollars. Mr. Johnson, this is something you need to ask yourself: can I pull the trigger on this deal and make the right choice? 10% funding for 85% ownership and prima nocte rights to your daughters.

Attached: 54710c336bb3f71c49a3ce2c-750-562.jpg (750x562, 55K)

>I'm in, and for that reason I'm out.

This show literally ruined my life. I got married, and then my wife quit her job and tried one pointless gimmick business idea after another, all with the hopes of getting on the show, and burned through all my money, and then when I became an alcoholic due to all the financial stress, she divorced me. Fuck the sharks.

Someone hasnt been taking their rhino blood shots

*blocks your path*

Attached: 11212.png (689x657, 550K)

Should have sold the rights to your wife for a 20% cut of the profits

Thanks for the laugh, my anonymous friend. I would if I could.

Name a worse guest shark

Attached: asss.jpg (1280x720, 97K)

Hardly, this dumb broad looks like a doggy

He always wants those royalties.

Attached: giphy.gif (480x270, 1.36M)

wew

Attached: 78437A64-FEE9-46E7-92C8-69EEE6774F5B.jpg (640x416, 49K)

>I like your idea, and your company might one day save the world, but you have the face of an incel who hasn't seen sunlight in a decade, therefore I am out

At least he’s honest about how shit his deals are and is aware of how much of a complete joke the show is. He holds no illusions that he’s there to give you a good deal and because of that you know if you take it you’re fucked.

The other 3 will smile and hug it out with you knowing full well they’re robbing you blind.

watching now

>technology
I'm out

Attached: barb.jpg (737x564, 76K)

so whatever they say during the show is not a binding contract? no jew lawyer has tried to argue that in court ?

They always do due diligence after the show. It's normal for a business deal.

I'm sure there are specifics that have to be worked out off-air because they wouldn't make for good TV. All you're seeing on the show is the initial pitch. Any savvy potential investors, and especially the sharks, would want to see the company's books before buying in.

I'm sure the way they get around this is the contestant's probably sign something stating that they realize that the sharks' "offers" are merely expressions of interest, and a rough estimate of what they would be willing to offer. All of that is probably subject to change when they sit down at a later time and go over the specifics

>women getting cold feet

Attached: 1.jpg (2700x1797, 391K)

>women tend to lie more often

Color me suprised.

And for that reason I’m gay

Kek

Attached: 1529863578393.jpg (480x336, 28K)

based

Guy looks like George

lel I wam watching this part right now. Did he deliver on his arab contract ?

Isn't she the best shark in terms of actual deals and profits made from deals on the show?

The procentage is how many deals in total that didnt happen, so Mark Cuban was worst in that regard.

I remember this guy but don’t remember what he did. Didn’t he directly insult Kevin?

Based. What's wrong with that reason at all? Shed have to see and be seen with that person a lot if she got involved with their company. She's rich and doesn't have to spend her time and money on weird looking people.

Post them please.

cubes

Cuban closed highest percentage of solo deals, why is that bad

CUBES? I'M OUT

Attached: DID YOU JUST CALL ME CUBES.jpg (750x563, 71K)

BASED NIGGER BUCKS

Attached: niger approval.gif (194x172, 458K)

A lot of times during due diligence the terms of the deal change, ie. the company may not be performing as well as it was pitched so the shark will modify the deal for more equity at same amount of cash. This could cause either party to back out.

Attached: 04888116-C788-446C-8F4F-68CAB1456CF6.jpg (640x416, 46K)

>due diligence

This is massive. Sharks make deals on tv knowing that what they were pitched was probably too enthusiastic so its always a question of how of far the pitch was from reality

Attached: 1552558362407.jpg (796x388, 62K)

Chris Sacca

man even rich niggas get ear piercings
what's the correlation?

>You have a gift. You truly know how to represent not only the best of your product but of yourself. I know you will go far with your business, because your words alone portray both your savvy as well as your passion. You may very well be the greatest salesman to be in this room right now.
>And for that reason, I'm out.

>explains exactly why he made the product
>stats the obvious fact that everyone clamors for products to alleviate their allergies
>"I duN"T geddiT IM OUT"
>later all the other sharks are actually willing to go in on it
jesus christ what a cunt

youtube.com/watch?v=Q-2Ozkiok4s
>tfw you'll never know the satisfaction of making it after being told on national television that you'll fail miserably
fuck man I wish I wasn't too stupid to start my own business

I think pretending to be retarded is her shtick on the show. At least I hope she's pretending.

Reminds me of that magician on America's Got Talent who got buzzed immediately by the two women judges because he had a scantily clad assistant and went on to have a fantastic act

Lori makes a deal every episode, no surprise half of them fail

>QVC

Attached: lori-grenier-judge-on-shark-tank-mst.jpg (1280x800, 117K)

link?

Deal fell through though.

Not because the sharks pulled out, but because the owner pulled out. Probably because the sharks tried to renegotiate the terms during due dilligence.

They turned out pretty fucking good, though. With distribution to like 40 countries, and were even featured in Walmart for a while. No idea if they're still there.
walmart.com/ip/First-Defense-Nasal-Screens-7-Sets-Per-Pack/776348317

I want to fuck Lori until all her makeup completely comes off and the left side of her brain finally gives out leaving her in an ugly braindead state and then clean my dick off with her mouth before leaving and flashing the V to her husband on my way out

Attached: 20160629150058-lori-greiner-shark-tank.jpg (822x462, 37K)

>Daymond, I'm black and I make clothes, for that reason I will only focus my attention on you.

You sure becoming an alcoholic didn’t ruin your marriage

How did he loose so much?

Got fucked over with licensing and kept selling off pieces of the business to support his family.

not tight enough

A long time ago as a young man I was walking through Central Park by my lonesome. It was a beautiful night, light sounds of the city passing by, but otherwise quiet. As I strolled throughout the park toward my apartment I heard the muffled sounds of a woman screaming, and just a few yards away from me I came across a half nude woman with two men on top of her. We briefly made eye contact and I could see a look of complete desparation in her gaze, a call for help. I kept on walking. Her muffled screams got louder as she realized that there was no hero of this story, no one to save her from the arms of the men viciously having their way with her. She was a lost cause. I knew that even if I tried to help her there was nothing I could do to stop those men. Your strategy has yet to show ANY inkling of a profit, and frankly, your product has no market. You are that woman I couldn't help. And because of that, I'm out.

Attached: 128930ß19230123.jpg (800x450, 44K)

>Nice, very nice product, I love it. Problem is, what stops me from stealing your idea right here and now, opening a factory in a thirld world shithole, paying one millionth of the cost that you're asking for and using my superior position, power and wealth to absolutely destroy and shadow your sorry little independent ass, fucking you so goddamn hard you'll have to eventually take your own life while the bloody remains of your entire family drip down the walls after you've taken them out with a shotgun in pure shame, only 2 years from now?
>Yeah, I'm out.

Attached: 6a00d83451d69069e20115710a23f9970c-320wi.jpg (320x318, 10K)

Alright, you've heard offers from Kevin and Mark, but give me just a few seconds of your time. I want you to know that those two don't see you as a person; they see you as a commodity. Every day they pick up the phone and talk to dozens of people just like you. Not because they care, but because they know those people can make them money. I look at you and I see more than that; I see a friend. For an investment of 65,000 dollars all that I ask in return is a modest 2% stake in your company and a promise that you'll answer the phone when I call. Even if it's a little late. Sometimes it's nice to hear a voice on the other end of the line to help me feel less alone. My house is large and the vacant rooms are just an agonizing reminder of what I used to have. Please stop looking at Lori.

Attached: 1452822578798.jpg (500x400, 27K)

That's eerie

a few years ago my gf of 3 years left me and I was in such a sorry state that I stayed in for a week watching all the episodes of this and any other versions I could find (UK, Mexico, Japan, Czech). It did help some. So fuck you faggot, don't talk shit about the tank.

she is 80% of why I watch this show, I'd give her a sample from my business if you know what i mean

I don't get it, can you elaborate?

kek

Muh dick

Underrated post from a severely underrated meme

>nigger pitches a gps watermelon tracker app
>at least three sharks make an offer
>mfw

Attached: 1526391295714.gif (262x300, 2.89M)

I want a 50% insertion inside her kike pussy with a 75% chance of titty fucking

Attached: 6144B588-592D-4A62-97F6-D9EFE548D194.jpg (407x701, 252K)

>Kevin was the only guy to make him a offer after Cuban sperged all over him about the product being a scam, as usual
>actually decent offer compared to his other make-easy-money royalty deals
>told he couldn't accept Kevin's offer cause he didn't like him as a person or some shit like that
>Kevin proceeds to call him a asshole
why the pooinloo said that is anyone's guess

jej

someone please post the other pastas

Attached: 354deaa3770912621bb816da070346ab--the-frog-united-states.jpg (236x224, 11K)

Kek

>You know what, I like your product. But I see a bit of a problem here, a bit of a dilemma. You lack a certain look in your eye. You remind me of a naive little lamb, the kind that I would grab by the neck and slowly choke to death in my grandfather's slaughterhouse, unbeknownst to him that I was stealing his livestock. Those days are long gone by now, but I still think back to those days fondly. Every time I have trouble getting hard during non-consensual sex with my wife or my mistress, I think back to those days and instantly get a raging erection. I'll never forget the fucking dead look in their eyes, nor can I forget the mouthwatering taste of their blood. You will never understand such pleasures, because at the end of the day, you're no different than those lambs. And for that reason, I'm out.

Attached: kevin oleary.jpg (850x1000, 532K)

>answer to sales is potential
>mark cucks robert out of a deal
>lori personally doesn't [food] so she's out
>barbara doesn't like the entrepreneur's character so she's out
>kevin has a royalty deal
>mark tries to know more about technology than the entrepreneur
>kevin says "you're dead to me" or calls the entrepreneur a cockroach
>entrepreneur doesn't have a patent/business is not proprietary
>entrepreneur has little or no sales
>shark wants an answer immediately
>lori pulls a gimmick to get a deal
>"it's a product not a business"
>kevin is an expert in the entrepreneur's industry
>lori says "zero or hero"
>entrepreneur doesn't know their numbers
>mark gives a 24 second countdown
>entrepreneur goes into hallway to call someone and comes back with a worse deal
>"all roads lead back to kevin"
>kevin tells a fun fact/story
>barbara gets startled
>robert relives his childhood
>daymon knows a guy in the hood
>kevin mentions that he's a member of chevaliers du tastevin
>child inventor
>it's [food] but organic
>investor says "whoa" or "good for you" when hearing sales figures
>entrepreneur has a sob story
>it's [product] but for kids
>sharks don't like the taste of their healthy food product

Attached: jewing intensifies.webm (1280x720, 222K)

name a worst shark
pro-tip you can't

Attached: bethenny-frankel-1.jpg (1200x630, 421K)

>tfw sharks poop on your app

Attached: 567015b49d7f9b05c43b0fc9b9b76076.png (584x558, 316K)

It must be nice having so much money you can make a show where you manipulate desperate people.

>shark wants more equity now that all of the other sharks are out

Attached: shrek tank.png (1280x720, 624K)

Bitch ass nigga.

>watching all the episodes of this and any other versions I could find (UK, Mexico, Japan, Czech)
hold on one second, so you're telling that every country has their own version of this.
that sounds hilarious

Fact: Every female entrepreneur on the show has cried during their pitch/negotiation.

I love these threads
Don't even watch this show

I am pretty sure the Drone Flying School lady didn't

He is doing a lot better since he remarried.

I'm kinda interested in this now. Do you happen to have a season/episode number?

It is the best show

I actually like the few times when they get hardball players. Can't find the full episode any more but there was one with a master's accountant from the Big 4 along with a guy with two Cisco CCIEs.

youtube.com/watch?v=DYwpmOHmKBM

>Any savvy potential investors, and especially the sharks, would want to see the company's books before buying in.
Each shark gets copies of the financials before they hear the pitch.

the american dream

A shark knows a shark when he sees one.

A lot of people on that show arent even desperate. They're in a gravest position and can even afford to turn their offers down and walk.

I think those people use the show mainly as advertising.

*great

yes, the US version isn't even the original. Dragons' Den in Japan was the first, but the US version is based on the UK and Aussie version's of Dragons' Den

Actually I think it was something about Tigers in Japan

>Your invention does what? Posts the word "sneed" on internet message boards? Sorry, I can't see anyone who would want to do that. And for that reason, I'm out.

Attached: getty_859515592_2000133020009280157_324831.jpg (970x450, 58K)

Canada had Dragons Den before the US had Shark Tank too. Kevin and Robert both came from the Canadian version and Kevin did both for a while.

Shark Tank perfected the trashy reality show aspect though.

youtube.com/watch?v=VqR-DdmK-ss

>Listen, I feel a real connection here. I will give you exactly what you came in looking for. Wait... actually, I'll double it. Two million dollars for just 2.5%. I'll make your business my full-time job. I will drop everything else to make you a success. All I ask is that you hang out with me once every six months. Please say yes. I need this.
>Thanks Robert, but I'd like to hear what Mark has to say first.
>I'll give you one hundred dollars for half the company, and throw in a pair of Mavs regular season tickets.
>I'm sorry Robert, but I'm going to have to go with Mark.

Attached: Shark_Tank_investor_Robert_Herjavec-18a27068f00ef84447231f4692fdb8ed.jpg (650x486, 34K)

that's right, i remember Kevin did a half-assed run for PM lel

>daymon knows a guy in the hood
Fucking lel

>watching Dragon's Den
>another board game pitch

A guy from my small town in Northern Ontario went on Dragons Den for his board game idea. Its all anybody would talk about for like two months. It didnt make it to TV.

Anybody up for a game of Bulletball?

youtube.com/watch?v=WOOw2yWMSfk

kek

Kek

>I think those people use the show mainly as advertising.

yeah, otherwise the show would probably show some products that aren't developed solely for the end consumer

This thread is gold.

Attached: kek.gif (300x186, 2M)

being black is gay.

Forgot
>entrepreneur completely ignores offer to see if Mark Cuban is interested

That’s why I can’t watch Dragons Den. It’s so sad and small scale compared to Shark Tank.

youtube.com/watch?v=7qWrYSpIfxc

nigerian shark tank rules

Financial reports alone can still show a very distorted view as for the actual health of the company. Before they put in the money, they likely go through every contract with suppliers, distributors, customers, etc to make sure everything is in order.

what a nice mommy

A lot of the time people just lie under pressure.
>and do you have the patent for this product?
>uhhhhh yeah sure i do

Attached: 1471379341129.gif (320x240, 2.15M)

He made it!
youtube.com/watch?v=FcGeFo5lz-A

Underrated post.

Keke/

What are you implying user?

kek

Which one of you cucks reported this

>it's a Robert wants to hold the dog episode

Attached: rippupper.webm (1280x720, 557K)

Attached: trikes.webm (720x404, 1.99M)

Business products can't be pitched like that to random ivnestors, especially with the background goal of creating entertaining television in mind.

>Hey sharks, I developed this minor but significant modification to this specific tool only used by top professionals in this niche industry, please give me money
>Uh.. what it this again? What does your product actually add? What's going on here?
And don't even get me started on the service side of things aka business solutions, that's even more niche and requires even more expertise to understand.

Attached: yotsuba bewildered.png (200x200, 72K)

>show takes 5% equity just for appearing
yeah

YouTube gets funky whenever too many people get there from here, so sometimes they automatically put it up for review in case, you know, it's something horrible.
That's why so many used hooktube instead.

ill offer you 2 million dollars for 20% equity, and you also get to sniff my chair after I get up

Attached: lori3.jpg (690x523, 82K)

youtu.be/dv13gl0a-FA?t=64

Cantstandya

>Our company is doing well and we're making a big profit-
>"Why do you need our money then you dumb cunt?"

>Our company isn't currently turning a profit-
>"Then why should we invest you retard?"

How do you win?

>I have a feeling that she's not a very nice person in real life.
Those "let's check up on how the business is doing X time later" segments are always so cringey, they're all acting so forced with fake smiles and you know they must have gone through tons of screaming and berating during investor meetings to force the company to go along the routes they wanted.

Hello sharks, my name is Pepe. I'd like you to invest in my internet chatboard company. We have hundreds of thousands of users from around the world and solicit advertising from top companies including Nike and McDonald's. The best part? We have dozens of janitors monitoring the site 24/7 in order to delete any naughty posts, and they do it FOR FREE. We'll start the bidding at $10,000,000 for a 5% stake

Attached: 1540529828492.jpg (334x506, 42K)

You're a piece of literal human garbage. I wouldn't wipe my ass with toilet paper printed with your face. If I had my way, your company would be buried so far beneath the earth the Chinese would be reporting UFOs sightings. I want you out of my sight and- oh, you have PATENTS?
[muffled erection tearing through silk underwear sound]

Attached: 1525543635183.jpg (628x314, 49K)

Be good enough to turn a small profit while convincing them you only lack the capital to expand and make even more. That's literally how venture capitalism works.

Hardly

In perpetuity

This, but it never hurts to stroke the investors ego a bit as well.
Mark and Robert are especially susceptible to this. Mark because he is an egomaniac, and Robert because he is insecure.

is that literally cruella de vil

>It's a entrepreneur already has a perfectly functional business and he just wants to pad his pocket with a little extra money "We've been growing for the past 4 quarters but I haven't paid myself a salary yet" episode

You’re right. I can’t. I can’t stand her.

Attached: 1538857150483.jpg (470x470, 31K)

>we make the finest, most realistic dildos and pocket pussies
>let me pass out some samples

All this time I thought Deville was a pun on "Da Evil" (ebonics "the evil") nstead of "Devil"

Help me understand this business model.

You have employees but they're not paid any monetary compensation?

There's no future or learning curve so they're not interns either? And it's not for any kind of good cause, tax write off, resume building, etc so it can't even qualify as volunteer work?

I'm looking over the information I have here and it seems as though they aren't even rewarded with positive affirmation by the community. On top of that, it seems as though they spend countless hours re-banning the same users who just don't have a static IP? Their efforts are almost entirely fruitless.

So these willing slaves spend countless hours looking through morally corrupt posts without reason while being degraded all the while doing so?

I can't wrap my head around this. For that reason, I'm out.

Attached: 57f7f4ce9bd978e7018b59c6-1536-768.jpg (1536x768, 113K)

>so sea water, right? but what if we could extract gold from it...

>I'm in, but I'm too in. And thats why im out.

Attached: 1552320780387.jpg (1024x1024, 157K)

Your product reminds me of a business trip I took to Singapore in 2003. I was invited to a secretive marketing gala for the elite - less than a hundred people in the world get an invite. I still remember the smell of the stale air, with the hint of industrial cleaning chemicals emanating from the carpet.

The show was rather mundane - a few companies demonstrated their products, a couple keynote events - the usual. That was until, roughly around midnight, when about half the guests had left, we were invited to the one of the most exclusive clubs in Singapore. I would tell you the name if it weren't for the risk of assassination.

They brought us to the club in blindfolds. We had no idea where we were. The room was dark, and it smelt of petroleum. We were all about to leave when the stage lights burst on. Two masked men dressed in black dragged a half-naked Singaporean peasant woman on to stage. Her clothes were tattered and she was crying. To this day I don't know if she was an actor or not.

What they did to her I cannot describe. But what I felt watching what they did to her - now that I can describe. It was a mix of fear and arousal, power and hopelessness. I get a similar, less potent feeling whenever I hear of a mass shooting in the news.

That night changed me, for better or worse. But when I look at your product, I get no such feeling. And for that reason, I'm out.

Attached: Screenshot_12.png (633x478, 489K)

Kek. Spot on.

Gay

>by now you must be wondering what that strange taste is in those samples
>well, let's just say they had an extra special "chum" for you sharks
>my ask is 100,000 for each of you to kiss 20% of my ass

Attached: download.jpg (299x168, 4K)

Imagine if someone poisoned the samples and then their business model was the antidote. kek

I went to school with this fag lmao

This, ugly people are bad for business. Children on Yea Forums will never understand

Congratulations, you have a product, but it's not a business, and for that reaso

Kevin > POWER GAP > Mark > Lori > Robert > Damon > Barbra

Prove me wrong.

>>investor says "whoa" or "good for you" when hearing sales figures
lmao, every time

kek

laughed for a solid minute at this for some reason holy shit

>shitting up my YouTube ads with her rubber face shilling some seminar
Worst shark indeed

God damn, user.

howdy!

Both of you retards not noticing Robert's stats

are you retarded?

amazing

>Mark can you match this offer?

Robert is basically a woman in male skin.

dogs are true geniuses of physical comedy

pretty spot on

>Wow. Amazing. I'm blown away by your ingenuity and your sales are incredible for an operation of your size. I see an amazing future for your company, but this coin in my hand says 'tails', and for that reason, I'm out.

Attached: kl.jpg (800x599, 38K)

>You didn't precede your pitch with a "TING TING TING", for that reason I'm out.

Attached: chris laugh2.gif (700x285, 3.38M)

Close if not correct

Howdy

Theyre still selling on amazon. Seems like a good idea, I might buy a pack so I can mow my lawn without wearing a full mask.

He didnt come to the show to make a deal, he just wanted to promote himself for free

based and finna feet

Pardner.

Hey Ashley you're on Yea Forums not Shark Tank, LOL!

Attached: 1539301682669.jpg (176x186, 41K)

BASTE

Attached: 365653281589.png (500x913, 230K)

kek

Attached: 1480751679400.png (636x426, 167K)

kino post.

I want her to be my sugar momma so fucking bad

>FUBU
What did he mean by this?

I fucking hate when the person cries or tries to tell some sob story.

If I were a Shark it would be my trademark to instantly turn down any contestant that started crying or trying to manipulate with emotions.

>Sharks, ten years ago my entire family died in a tragic accident. I was also homeless, broke, in debt, and being abused. I didn't think there was any way out of-
>"YEAH NO, IM OUT, NEXT"

>she is 80% of why I watch this show, I'd give her a sample from my business if you know what i mean

What did he mean by this?

>rubs hands
Let me make you an offer... I give you the 200k you asked for, but in return you pay me 2% of every sale you make on your product, plus the 20% equity in your company. And since I'm feeling nice, I'll even lower the interest rate to 3% on the loan, sound good?

Attached: serveimage.jpg (1600x856, 87K)

Which shark would you want to make a deal with, lads?

Cuban just to piss Kevin off
Robert to piss them all off

Our dad is dead. Give us money.

Attached: young family.png (1176x727, 904K)

>started thread yesterday
>mfw it's still up
you guys are wild lmao

Attached: tenor.gif (220x220, 836K)

>250 replies
absolutely based and redpilled op

>watching youtube ads
how's the anal dilation going?

Top of mornin' to you Mr O'Leary

OUT, AM I???

Attached: E2181D21-01D5-4C68-97EC-EF88C2174084.png (422x348, 125K)

Hasn't she made some of the best deals on that show?

Daymond, he's the least likely one to aggressively fuck you over

It's a very high skill meme.
Everyone can banepost.
Not everyone can sharkpost.

Barbara is based and best shark

I'd like to tell you a little story, hear me out, okay?

Everyday I wake up to a woman tenderly licking my ball sack. Everyday I wake up to see my bank account has nearly doubled. Each day I come to the kitchen and inject my breakfast (pure stem cells). Each day I choose a random worker to fire in my companies, just to keep the swine on their toes. Each day at precisely 9 AM I take a shit on my robot toilet. Okay? YOU ARE THAT SHIT. I see one of you EVERYDAY! ASKING ME FOR MONEY. AND EACH DAY I SQUEEZE YOU OUT OF MY ASS AND LET SOME AI FLUSH YOU DOWN INTO THE SEWERS WHERE YOU BELONG.

FOR THAT REASON. I. AM. OUT. CUNT.

Attached: kevin reee.png (1200x600, 705K)

a-user?

howdy

kek'd

Does the network pay the sharks or is it all about exposure and opportunity for them

Kek

shark + racism posting. This is reaching sublime levels.

>G-guys can I get a word i- Oh. Okay. Sure.
>How much did you guys earn las- la- hm.
>What do you think Kevin. Sorry. You go first.
>For that reason, wait, you don't want to hear what I have to say?
>bye... good luck....

Attached: robert sad.jpg (392x220, 52K)

bump

I'm fucking dead bro

Attached: 1551742751342.jpg (680x680, 32K)

I'd be her scrub daddy ;^)

I'm sorry could you rephrase that?

These are some of the best threads, you did good senpai.

Is that not George?

>that episode where the leaf tried to sell a literal pyramid scheme and got his ass torn up

vimeo.com/66318039

you can't give them less than they asked for, retard

>gets first offer
>"Well, that's a very good offer. I'd like to hear what the other sharks have to say..."
>"HOW DARE YOU, YOU'RE DEAD TO ME, I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS TOTAL DISRESPECT. GET OUT OF HERE, I'M OUT. WE'RE ALL OUT."

>gets first offer
>"Well, that's a very good offer. I think we have a dea-"
>"HOW DARE YOU TAKE THE FIRST OFFER WITHOUT HEARING WHAT THE OTHERS HAVE TO SAY. SUCH TOTAL DISRESPECT. I'M OUT."

Howdy!

well done

That's the first time I've actually audibly laughed at a Yea Forums post in a few months.

Attached: 1550677209871.jpg (720x690, 72K)

kek

was he as much of a pussy irl as he was on the show

Attached: 1549240727332.jpg (750x884, 301K)

Absolute gold.

>woman entrepreneur only wants lori
hmm

Howdy

Attached: 1530774123148.png (451x610, 355K)

brilliant, absolutely brilliant

Howdy

I probably wouldn't get annoyed until they start begging Mark for a deal

> get solid offers. Sometimes multiple
> Mark generally uninterested
> probably already said he's out
> "please Mark come back in/make me an offer so I can take your deal!"
If it were me I'd probably be out for all that cocksucking

Attached: 1551762969126.jpg (500x625, 48K)

>its a free samples episode

Attached: robert herjavec autism.png (1496x800, 1.13M)

*door opens for new pitch*
*nobody walks out*
*sharks look at each other confused*
*faint sound of funny accordian music, getting louder and close to door*

I Can't Believe It's Not Jewish!

Link?

guy took a big risk by doing that

>doors open for new pitch
>silence
>sharks look around
>"Where is he?"
>from the ether "Hello sharks, I have a brand new business idea called the psychosphere, heres a free sample"
>robert takes some
>"W̫̹̹̦o̱̜̝̗͉̪w̵̘̝ ̭̤̺͖t͓͉h̺̟̱͔̘ͅi͕̪̩̹͖̪͇s ̳̞̳͟i̠͚͓̪͜s̤̻̜̯̥̻̻ ̭̺̻̭r̵̫̥͚̬͓e͉̙͙͖̯̦͟a̫l̨͈͚̙͖l͍̭̫̣̙̥͙y̺̬ ͅco̡o̖l͙͉͎̥̪̬͈͟!̩̘̹͎̠"