Anyone gonna buy a norm?

ah, found another part that wasn't deleted. It's been a few weeks so my memory was hazy. twitter.com/normmacdonald/status/1098257989549490176

hahaha classic norm

Kek

The man is 60 years old jfc

he looks 70

>Is there anyway you can put in the Cameo contract, that I'm sad.

He has imposter syndrome. He can't cut himself enough slack and makes up for it with pseudo-intellectual posing and drug abuse.

I would. Heck, I might. He's a funny guy.

He's a real jerk.
youtube.com/watch?v=sWoeQR0DGrs&t=0s

He's got all that sweet Orville money now...

If you look at their list of actors, it's kind of sad. A bunch of people who started to have a career, and now they're charging $15 for personalized greetings. Yes, there's a bunch that are $15 or $20.

cameo.com/c/actors

I saw Norm Macdonald at a grocery store in Los Angeles yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything.

He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?”

I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “hah? hah? hah?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in his hands without paying.

The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.

When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.

And that’s when my mouth got real dry and I had no words and I realized I’d been tricked. It wasn’t Norm MacDonald at all. It was just some old man. He didn’t even look like Norm Macdonald. I’d just spent over two minutes talking to some old man. Who the fuck would ever do that? There’s not a day goes by that I don’t think about that stupid old man and how much I hate his fucking guts.

Children don't have an impact on ceasing alimony payments

REMEMBER WHEN I DROPPED THE CHILLI?

Attached: LE_CHILLI.png (711x521, 363K)

I'm still bummed out that his Netflix show sucked

he probably doesn't get more than 50k a season

>have long running joke over that "GIVE IT TO ME" ferry scene from The Dark Knight with my sister
>can get the guy from that scene to wish her a happy birthday with "GIVE IT TO ME"
Sometimes I really do love the internet

cameo.com/deebo

>I once played an accountant on TV
oh no

Pretty based post user

Why did his Netflix show suck? I've not seen it. Was it just a watered down version of the podcast?

ever see your sisters breasts? are they big?

Episodes are half an hour-ish, so they're much more focused on the guest and some semblance of an actual interview. No opening remarks with Eget, and given the short time there's not enough room to go into the weird tangents that threw people off guard and made for some amazing keks. Also the joke segment is shorter.

It's still a good show, desu, Norm is still funny as fuck. But the show really needs the longer runtime of the podcast

not that guy but yes basically. i wouldn't say it sucked but it's a letdown, half of the guests are really uninteresting and you can tell were not his idea, and the interviews suffer from being only 30 mins long

this is so sad

Man that sucks. What genius thought they could cut the show down to 30 minutes and still make it work?

I haven't seen them but I've seen her bras a lot. They're 32c.

nice i like breasts. imagine paying 500 dollars for a video of wesley snipes telling your friend to stop smoking weed. who is buying this stuff?

just imagine spending 25 to have a cutie wishing you happy birthday, h-haha

i would do it just as a joke just to have a laugh thats the only reason lol

Who would you pick?

Tiny Lister is a fucking legend.

oh fugg. Should I spend $60 to get Michael Biehn to say something to my mom?

I was gonna suggest someone should pay the $20 to get her to say "it's Nikki Blonsky from hairspray" but it already exists

cameo.com/v/P32AaOV6H

Attached: IS7GswE.png (1494x1075, 291K)

Jennifer Morrison would be cool but she's high above the 25 range. There's some really pretty actresses I've never heard of though. The Broadway ones aren't expensive.

She's had 461 reviews, at $20 that's $9000

Someone should tell that kid from Terminator 2 about it

cameo.com/mybestfriendhank

incredible

It's not bad. But the problem is it's half an hour and a lot more tame compared to his podcast, so a lot doesn't get fleshed out. But there are some nice moments to it.

Gilbert Gottfried is on there?

His messages are very vulgar

kek

Attached: 4U.png (448x465, 18K)

perfect

This cameo shit has always sounded cheesy, but one from Norm sounds fucking awesome. Pay him for a quick "happy birthday" and you'll get a 20 minute bit about is crazy uncle from Canada, or if you're lucky, some holocaust denial.

Negro if you actually do it I'll paypal you 10 to help pay

Attached: the points don't matter.png (963x437, 101K)

Big Man Tyrone charges more than some of these guys
bigtyrone.com/services/order-custom-video/

voice actor category could be fun

is this the most expensive?

Attached: Capture.png (232x215, 63K)

There's quite a few at 1000 like Caitlyn Jenner and Nikki Giavasis; I don't even know who the fuck Nikki is desu

Attached: Capture.png (228x213, 54K)

Hacked to pieces in editing. You can tell everyone said a lot more but it just cuts right through it all awkwardly.

>Nikki Giavasis
Mostly known for being uncredited.
> imdb.com/name/nm1650085/

he meant unrelenting testosterone, our boy is on the juice and I'm excited about it

Sheeeeeit I thought he dead.

Attached: Capture.png (228x215, 68K)

It's not long now... They'll be livestreaming for donos soon, then Ice Poseidon can fuck off forever as we dump money on Balki from Perfect Strangers and etc

He's GOT TO do the TDKR scene, right?

Attached: HORNY&LONELY_BANE.jpg (2880x1194, 174K)

Finally here's our chance to get Bella porn.

>HEY, uhhh, it's Norm MacDonald here ... uh, Steve wants you to know that you're a big guy and uhhh, this is for you, buddy! Hahaaaegh.

Attached: Screen Shot 2019-03-15 at 1.34.21 AM.png (292x391, 204K)

JOI video when?

Some sperg got him to read something about the Holocaust and the USS Liberty. Wonder if he hiked his price up after that.

It's a rug! youtube.com/watch?v=cHByFuaNAjw

Attached: karlno.gif (276x247, 410K)

Holy shit he looks like hell. When did his hair turn grey?

he looks fine for 60

Oh shit Ice T is on there. We could turn our memes into reality.

Bane, huh? Yeah, he's a pretty big guy.. I tell you, the mass of this man. By god, he's a ginormous fellow. And the mask too. You know why he wears the mask? Well I'll tell you. He wears the mask on account of his horrible, ghoulish face. By god, the face on this guy.. this big guy. And he is a big guy, you know? Maybe even a big guy for you. I tried to build up his confidence one time, tried to convince him he didn't need the mask. I consider Bane to be a good friend, and it's my duty to help him. I says to Bane, "have you thought about taking the mask off, there?" He said, "oh no, Norm, it would be extremely painful."

This one time, I said to ol' big Bane, I says to him, I says "hey Bane, what's with the mask?" You know, to try and get to why he feels the need to hide. He says "it's to help me breath, Norm." But I know the truth, you know. I know Bane is really just ashamed. So deeply, deeply ashamed of his horrible face. But I don't say nothing, on account of the fact that I am but a small, feeble man and Bane, why Bane is a big guy. And you know, he's always talking about fire. "The fire's rising, Norm!" he says to me. God I can't go a minute without hearing about the fire with Bane. By god, the man will not be quiet about the fire.

Attached: norm.jpg (700x700, 115K)

they're all so sad

Just sitting on the couch pumping these out

must feel so shit for them, used to earn 5 figures for easy shit now you gotta do 5 of these for probably $500 after their cut

Have him say something about his tranoid disappointment of a son

they probably don't have to do them it's just easy money for a minute or two of work

why would you want to have to read some shitty script and film some thing for $150 if you're that well off

Imagine earning $4000/w and you come home and then you upload some shit that isn't your hobby/passion and you made $12

Kind of sad to see Michael Biehn on there doing videos for 60 bux

I would film them while taking a shit. It's like a minute of work and you don't even have to memorize anything

Someone pay him to say something about jannies or sneed
DON'T write anything racist or offensive, it must be subtle or else he will refuse to say it on camera.
Something like
>Shout out to my dearest friends Janitors. Doing great community service, spending dozens of hours of their lives saving us from vile alt-righters. And they are so kind that they do this for free!

Classic Brad and Chad

Attached: 94F9BDBB-B40B-4C0D-88EB-6A39B20BB6A5.jpg (750x290, 49K)

>lost his netflix show
!!!???

It's over 9000 actually

lol based and redpilled

NANI

And he says, Norm, here's the thing buddy. The fires, even with them rising all day for years, it's just not enough time to burn all those bodies, he tells me. And I just don't know about that, but to each his own, I say.

I know that dude in real life. He is an almost unimaginable piece of shit. Maybe if he were a little more famous he would've been caught up in the whole #metoo movement.

I'm talking insufferable garbage here.

Attached: DivRdj7VQAAC2EA.jpg (900x1200, 227K)

That kid is kinda famous in Japan, and has made a small fortune doing commercials.

No.

JUST

kek, this is well done.

$150? That's 10 fold what I use to pay.

I feel bad for Blonsky. She's a pretty decent actress and she seems like a real person instead of a Hollywood spawn, and she clearly had a lot of passion for her performances. Far less obnoxious than all of the other obese women who still work in Hollywood.

I might just be extra fond of her because she strikes me as the total opposite of Brie Larson.

Hey, it's Nikki Blonsky from the movie Hairspray...
cameo.com/nikkiblonsky

excellent

I'm pretty sure Norm said he had 100% control of the guests

>she seems like a real person instead of a Hollywood spawn
More the reason why she didn't succeed.

I just kind of hope for her to find success and happiness as a hairdresser, and maybe get a couple of theater gigs on the side so she can do what she really likes from time to time.

jesus what a faggot. i wish people i liked didn't have to reveal themselves to be pathetic wimps who post like teenage girls

yikes

>Your birthday reminds me of that tragedy
woah norm wtf

Wait, this is the quality of video this kind of money buys? Christ, you'd figure a fucking celebrity could spend a little money on an actual fucking camera for this shit.

>my peenish yeaah

I read he repeated the same bit multiple times at a show. Maybe his mind is going

he has pulmonary embolism he said it in a Larry King interview plus Benzo addiction

>imposter syndrome
Looked it up on wiki. No wonder Psychology is treated as shit science holy shit

I love this user

SOMEONE MAKE HIM SAY THE PLANE SCENE

Attached: 1522959649993.png (249x386, 283K)

>traveling across the country for stand-up to perform for an hour for drunks in a shitting nightclub at 1 in the morning
thats at least $10k

>David Hayter and John Kassir are options

Attached: C5828479-9493-4EC9-903F-4215CF7B7F43.png (933x769, 563K)

for the low price of $150, one hundred percent of the proceeds of your contribution go straight towards Norm’s gambling addiction!

Attached: image.jpg (750x563, 264K)

This Bane guy sounds like a real jerk.

Attached: 1471988740811.jpg (2560x1707, 1000K)

>sweet Orville money
Bet he was doing it for peanuts, and that shitshow's about to canned anyway.

When Netflix stops paying for his dye job.

Did you see his bad hair game on The View? Yikes!

Attached: norm-macdonald-the-view-video.jpg (620x420, 229K)

SAG VA minimum for his Orville work is around $1000 per episode plus residuals. He could have negotiated something higher, but doubt.

globalvoiceacademy.com/sag-aftra-rates/

A few years ago, Joel McHale said he was making $3 million per year off his stand-up career, mostly college dates, so there's still money on the road.

But Norm doesn't work that much now, so he's not bring in the cash.

t. cbs

And Norm mostly does casino dates now, so probably just loses what he makes at the sports book.

ticketmaster.com/norm-macdonald-tickets/artist/806631

> Hi Seth! It's me, Norm. Just calling in again to see if there's any work for me this week. Remember, I'm available 24/7. Just give me the word and I'll Uber right over.

Attached: my beautiful career.jpg (419x571, 96K)

Attached: so sad.jpg (575x757, 191K)

explain
did he raped your boipussy?

"All the stars are here...."

Attached: all the stars are here.jpg (800x548, 283K)

Dubs and Norm dies 13th april 2019

Fucking Stanley of all people demanding $300
cameo.com/lesliedavidbaker

>"Not what I wanted at all "

cameo.com/v/5b6d1a1169da03005abd6060 anyone have the one about bain?

> that scuffed as hell Pauly Shore
who can get me one for my birthday?

why is he wearing fag glasses now?

Attached: 20190315_115711.jpg (1292x917, 289K)

Sounds like a real jerk

Attached: Screenshot_20190315-120207_YouTube.jpg (2960x1440, 710K)

Post the one where he's being interviewed by Miller

the show was kind of sweet and had funny moments, but not funny enough to "make it"

he is more famous too