What has to be done for you to like episode 9?

What has to be done for you to like episode 9?

Attached: 1522058298612.jpg (960x1440, 86K)

IS tier torture scenes of johnson and kennedy

you have to remove all niggers and women

Have the opening scene be a snuff where Rian gets drawn & quartered IRL to bring Luke back to life

Characters from OT.

>Starts with the scene of Luke dying in TLJ
>Young luke awakens on endor with a killer hangover
>"I just had the worst nightmare guys'

I'm not going to watch Ep. 9.

Episode 7 was already pretty mediocre, and I'm sure this will just be more of the same since JJ is directing again. There's simply no reason for me to waste time or money on Nu-wars.

This
I'm sorry children's movie just don't do anything for me.

Everyone involved in the movie must give me all their money, then one by one
gargle my balls

it's impossible to like IX with hack director who started ST ruin to begin with and producer who only cares for identity politics. Recycled story, ugly actors, stupid characters with teletubbies names, shitting on legacy. IX is stuck with all that shit.

Daisy Ridley eating my semen

Needs more wazergloopy

Include Sneed.

It'll be fine. I'll probably like it.

Let Rian finish the trilogy

A weekend in a hotel suite with a fit qt slave leia cosplayer, all expenses paid, and Daisy Ridley to blow me during the movie. A twenty minute scene of Rey being raped would be nice too.

It turns out the sequel trilogy is actually a purgatory that Anakin Skywalker has to go through after dying on the Death Star, to redeem himself in time to show up as a spirit on Endor.

Obvious falseflags from shills

>Rey is the reincarnation of Anakin
>Luke haunts and fucks with Ben as a force ghost, still has a pivotal role in the movie
>Kylo doesn't die, instead the movie ends with him being forced to "walk the earth/galaxy" as a grey jedi nomad
>Finn leads a stormtrooper coup against the First Order

If these things don't happen I probably won't like the film.

Rey’s power has to be explained in a believable way that is consistent with the series.

Kylo Ren must be shown as a powerful and intimidating villain.

Drastically improve on creature and ship design.

A flashback scene showing Han, Luke and Leia together.

An actually good lightsaber duel where Rey loses.

Knights of Ren being cool and not having the group be half female.

Finn is Lando’s kidnapped son.

No Rose Tico at all.

Kino. Would have been feasible ~10 years ago. But what we’re going to get is gonna be absolute and total shit.

Saw this leak/fanfiction a few weeks ago and would be a total saving grace, but Disney doesn’t have the self awareness to pull this off.

>Finn is the actual one with the force
>Rey is killed by Kylo
>Rose is killed in an explosion
>Poe is killed by Kylo
>Finn turns to the darkside
>Kylo and Finn are master/apprentice of the darkside.
>Knights of Ren are formed
>Empire takes over the galaxy (again)

RLM has to like it.

A start trek esque space captain. They can make it a gay black jewish female horse for all I care but if they have a captain that works as a voice of reason I'll be marginally more excited

>Sees Han and Leia holding their baby
>Gets ptsd from dream
>Ignites lightsaber
>Baby force pushes everyone away

It was pretty obvious fanfic but surprisingly it worked well for explaining why the characters are so shit in TFA and TLJ, when you believe that the characters represent Anakin or his view of people like Han, the Emperor, the Empire officers.

>>Finn leads a stormtrooper coup against the First Order

This would be too awesome to occur to JJ. It would leave Finn roaming the galaxy leading a private army for hire out to look out for themselves. No longer pawns to the First Order, but masters of their own fate. It has too much narrative potential. Disney wants things neater and simple.

New jedi order we need more jedi.
New sith order we need more sith setup for several games, movies, books and cartoons new and fresh expanded universe with new cool ships like the first 3 movies

The real leak is that Rey = Anakins Mom[\spoiler]

Should've been the plot of ep 7 t b h

>boyega
>master of fate

top kek

What is Kylo's motivation? Two films and we don't know what the fuck he actually wants.

based wazergloopy poster

Vin Diesel cameos as Riddick.

That is the best theory I've heard by miles.

There’s nothing that Disney can do to convince me to give them a dime for episode nine

It ends in a dream sequence before the final credits roll in and we get a visual confirmation the entirety of the Sequels never actually happened.

he wants to fuck rey

Attached: image.jpg (400x759, 81K)

Kennedey´s head on a pike with Johnson's ripped of johnson in her mouth, in the background of the starter text crawl.

Also this bitch dies in the first minute as she tries to assassinate as sleeping dreaming Luke.
Waking him up from the nightmare he dreamt as the first two flics.
Getting smeared to paste on the ceiling, by a startled Master Skywalker.

Attached: 1540257455196.jpg (249x250, 6K)

I honestly think it's too late. Not a doubt in my mind there were a number of these threads are done by The Mouse to get an idea of what the fans want. But at this stage in the game? No way will anything change. If these are official Mouse Threads, it's for the advertising campaign to see what needs to be said in clickbait articles to trick the audience again. That's what Jew Jew does. He's not a director, he just wants to trick the audience.
No one cares anymore.

Attached: 1547321051647.png (633x526, 298K)

I don't believe that, but it would be a hilarious shitstorm.

Time travel

But they liked TFA.

they’d need to reboot entirely and do something interesting

Be a genuinely good movie with solid word of mouth.

>What has to be done for you to like episode 9?
It has to kill off every named, or even just seen, character from the entire post ROTJ Disney canon, then end with an announcement that SW is going into the vault for the next 20 years.