Tfw you never stay at a comfy hotel in Europe to find your life partner while having a hot French maid rub her pusy on...

Thanks, I hope we do in some kind of fashion.

>I was so lonely and horny I actually ended up losing 2 friends because of it
How do you even do that?

not that user,but you never knew fucked up people withouth stregnth of will and they always look depressed,drunk or high?
that way is difficult to make friends or keep them.

That’s in the lobster? Lmfao my parents saw that in theaters.

I also was triggered, because I realized that if it was me maid would straight up refused to do her job since I'm so ugly and disgusting.

Wait, you guys don't do that?

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Do Americans really don't do this?

Back in those years I was severely depressed and alcoholic as fuck. I was delusionally talking to the sister of my best friend, she always kind of liked this other friend of mine and they got drunk and made out one night and a year after that I lashed out at both of them while super drunk and that was that.
I've curbed my drinking somewhat since then, but back then it was really bad. The thing is I never had hardly anything in common with those two people, and I kept my best friends through luck.

What animal would you become Yea Forums?

Movie seems stupid desu

mutts think that things they see in the movies happen in real life

A cat so I could get pussy

what does pusy feel like

Something with a short life expectancy
I have a strong assumption I won't be any better as an animal

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I'd be something chill and vegetarian, like a koala or a sloth. I always wanted to be a vegan but meat just tastes too delicious.

If possible I'd like to be a plant. just a flower chilling until I wilt.

Yorgos is married to the maid btw

It's really ironic, I actually do know what it feels like because I've consensually fingered a girl who would have fucked me, but I never had sex with her and am still a virgin. It just didn't work out that time in that small window of opportunity.

Jesus christ if that's true he really did well for himself.

An eagle or maybe an owl

Something that would land me in a zoo easily

A falcon I wanna reach terminal speed everyday

>koala
>chill

Something like an albatross, I just want to fly forever

arent they? i dunno they always had a very chill vibe i feel

>drop bears

There's a video of a koala REEEEEEing after getting kicked out of a tree but I can't find it now.

Why did Yorgos Lanthimos direct his wife to wank off Colin Farrell, is he a cuck?

They are literal retards that can't recognize the only leafs that they eat if they on a plate

youtu.be/O0cAx1jLbJk

a possum or a racoon
My life is trash.

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formerly americans were europeans

If you really think about it, all he did was cuck Colin Farrell even harder because he had some hot chick grind on him for a few seconds and then was taken away. It's like a reverse cuck using your own wife.

I was just going to make one, but it's only like 3 seconds long. Not worth it.

Dude it's probably a little longer than 3 seconds and might actually turn out to be worth it.

Fair enough, I'll be less of a lazy bastard and just YouTube it.

A whale.

Long life, largest creature on the planet, 0 threats, 0 things fucking with, dick larger than most animals, just chill in the ocean.

based retriever user. there's something a little unsettling about the koala's eyes looking directly at the camera as he's crying

Can't breathe underwater though

I just watched it. It's literally 3 seconds and then the scene cuts to his dog/brother watching and that's it.

Maybe if you don’t try

Pretty much the same for me. I fucked up pretty bad years ago and got really depressed . I have never been the most sober guy but then i cranked my drinking up to 11 and soon people didnt really invite me anywhere and i didnt even want to go. At work i was pretty much the "funny guy" and coworkers allways came to talk to me and i used to be really close with my parents and sisters. Well when you are blackout drunk and bitching on your freetime and at work just sit doing your job with a face like a slapped ass for couple of years you know what happens. No one really comes to talk to me at work anymore and i pretty much see my relatives on holidays only. Havent heard about my father since christmas. Gets pretty lonely nowdays. The thing i learned as a man you just suck it up and deal with it yourself

do you think your mom did that to your dad when they got home that night? i bet they did

Probably not. You need to meet my parents. Come on over some time.

G-Go on

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most directors who marry actresses have cuckold fetish. they insert their wives into their movies, so they can film having sex with the actors (polanski for example does this all the time)

Maybe he just wants to show everyone he has a hot wife

that's Candaulism, which they probably they have too.

Damn, I don't know why I remember it differently than that then. Sorry for your trouble.

Feels pretty good if you don't let the body get cold

It cuts back to them again tho

A lobster

You can't touch her, and you can't masturbate. It's torture actually. This movie had its moments, but it missed something and I don't know what it is.

By the way, what happens in the end, does he come back from the bathroom or does he abandons her?

Abandon her as he should.

'we' are not all going to make it
you are going to die young having done nothing

you have no chance of success. You are a complete failure

Id gladly trade being finally intimately touched by a woman for masturbating, and his final choice isn’t shown on purpose

a nigger in sweden

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Dinosaur, so I can invalidate all existence.

a sloth

Bird. A big bird. An eagle so people won't shoot me. Just fly around all day stealing fish from lame walking animals.

Neanderthal.

A black person LMAO

An NBA athlete

Stop being racist.

From what I’m told it feels like a warm, hot, wet pillow that grabs you

It feels like a sweaty hand grabbing your dick, with its muscles throbbing. I recommend it.

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God I wish I were a hot French maid

Orca. Beautiful!

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GAHHHHHDAMNIT!!!!!!!!

Were they actually turning people into animals or just killing them and walking out an animal? That was the impression I got.

Brain goes into a complete animal I think

How would you get a human brain into anything smaller than a human?

I don’t think it was really fleshed out because the fact they get turned into an animal, not how they get turned into an animal was more important to the theme

Make me, you nigger faggot.

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Racism has no place on 4channel. It is a place of multicultural learning from all different races, genders, countries, etc

Based

Tuunbaq

>0 threats
Other than japs

In America the girl would be over than 200kg and the guy would be black or white with a micro penis. Its all fucked up there.

That's kind of fucking spooky. Kind of looks like a goddamn animatronic.

Hey man that's really not cool and we do not tolerate this sort of no-no talk here.

Fuck dat.

>next stage of incel is volcel
>Achievement Unlocked: Ascended Wizard

Feels good, man.

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>The thing i learned as a man you just suck it up and deal with it yourself
part of the attitude that results in 3x male suicide

I'd be a cheetah chillin out in remote africa with my feline bros hunting food every day without this existential torment we humans have. Just "being". wouldn't that be great.

Do Americans really cum that easily?

We’re not allowed to last too long lest we compete with black bulls

A crow, caw, caw, motherfucker.

not the guy you're talking too, but how else is a man to deal with things?

People think ‘man up’ means push it aside and forget it, but it will always come back.

Humans are animals

then you haven't dealt with it
by definition
women suicide because they become overwhelmed
men typically suicide because of apathy
sharing your feelings doesn't solve that problem its just a distraction, but if you can keep it up it will work as long as it works

The clip is here. It cuts away and then cuts back for a more worthy webm. user pls deliver

youtu.be/NGZFXh66Cho

pls deliver

a crocodile, but i probably wouldn't ever get to that point, it seems pretty choice to just live it up for 44 days, and then either straight up leave (which clearly isn't that hard), kill everybody (which doesn't seem to be that hard either), or just enjoy my new life as an apex man-eating predator that can live to be a century old - my only question is, how much human do you actually retain? they sort've gleam over this some with the anecdote about the mom turned wolf, and then the brother obviously seems somewhat aware of what all is going on

if i had NO human thoughts or feelings while being an animal, i'd just go with the former options of reaching nuclear status and turning the hotel into a slaughterhouse, or escape, no point in even picking your fucking animal anyways if you don't get to experience life as the animal you picked

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bro, are you okay?

I don't think that was the important part, but I'm guessing that's not actually our timeline; I know autistics like us can't get there, but it's just a place where everything that happened in the film was not only possible, but did happen.

i just watched the movie 30 minutes ago and i enjoy autistically ruminating on every movie i watch, it helps me fully understand it and interpret it

i get my options aren't within the thematic range of the film but let's be honest, nobody here would consent to defeat yet be unwilling of it, would you sit on death row, guarded by unarmed old people and women, knowing you'll essentially die in 45 days, AND the door to your cell is unlocked, AND you're given access to knives, blunt instruments, and a tranquilizer rifle, and still just sit there?

Well, that’s what Colin did, and you’re obviously capable of it yourself, but you’re also going to be hunted by the singles on a hunt and the loners won’t exactly be ideal people to be with either. So all in all it just makes it worse unless you get to integrate into the city. But that also requires you getting a partner.

Post webm

same thing, unless they're white

Ive only heard rumors. why are all girls sluts but none of us can get laid.....

I don’t remember a single non-white main character or background actor

Why do you think people are kept during 40 days, why not more or less? Is it just a random count or is it symbolic to Jesus' expiation/cleansing in the desert?

Kill yourself white boii

It was 45 including the day they arrive

Wow, how autistic of mine, thanks for pointing it out

>it's only like 3 seconds long.
loop it. i've fapped to less. in fact I'm about to finish to the OP pic :^)

btw that's Lanthimos' wife

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if they had only focused on ray and vinces character
I like big dick girth junkie adams as much as the next guy and I also liked the closet gay cutie cop.
but both were merely distracting from the more interesting characters

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haha

Like a raw chicken breast that is room temperature

omg omg omg omg they are literally doing a sex

A white woman

waterbear

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>do americans really don’t do this
Has shitposting gone too far?

Go to hell with this immature speak.
You reddit trash get everywhere with it.

omg omg omg literally have a sex

Cat.

I’ve had amazing sex and I’ve had terrible sex and I can say with full confidence that I’d rather play games with my buds. Pussy is nice but there’s so much more to life. Plus if you date the pussy you have to put up with a lot and pay for things.

literally wow i can't even :0 :33 rawr xD UwU desufam

lol u so random XD XD XD XD >.

have sex

with each other

this could literally be real if the roasties didn't get in the way

*nuzzles you* OwO what's this?

That's why you have consensual sex first then the next time you meet them you visciously rape them until you have no other recourse but to murder them. That's how you keep the spice in the bedroom without being bogged down.

oh that? that’s my cock.

Probably an earth worm or a brown bear

DO ET

a penguin. they look comfy

based+redpilled

they live in constant fear of death by freezing/sea lion

bags of sand

I wanted to say this wouldn't arouse me, but it just did

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me but I'm the dog because fuck roasties

Feels like a wet coin slot for salty coins

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me in the last frame
(translated)

like the inside of your cheek

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>virgin but has friends
how? it’s literally the exact opposite for me

Don't we all, though

Not really

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Warm, moist flesh... Yeah its weird m8.

>LMAO
it's what makes me kek

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>Colin Farrell
>enormously hung with at least 9 inches of Irish Stew in his pants
>playing incels
Just never stops being funny, really.

Lanthimos is autistic.

>tfw no heartless gf

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would you let your wife rub her crotch against another man's crotch?

Take the official quiz anons: thelobster-movie.com/
I got tiger

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bison
"plenty of anal sex"

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Fuck yeah! I always thought my animal was some large cat. Perfect!

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koalas are dumb as dogshit dude
like the literally have one of the smoothest brains on the planet
and to call a koala vegan is an insult to herbivores.
koalas are SO unbelievably stupid that they evolved to exclusively eat a toxic plant that has virtually no nutrition and nigh indigestible, by being so fucking stupid that they ate nothing but this plant for thousands of years
does that make sense to you? It shouldn't, but that's how retarded the koala is.

i got lobster lmao

well, noone else is eating that plant. tying your fate to a single plant is risky but hey, they have survived on it for quite some time.

it presented me with a camel, a lion and an ant. ofcourse i chose a lion, even though i like how camels can spit

OH YEEEEEEEEEEAAH

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I'm a horse. That's cool, means I get to still fuck human women in bestiality porn.

i got...TROLLYPOSTING

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oh man so obscure i love it. Thank you for this OP

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this is strange

are waterbears secretly controlling npc's? Is this an invasion?

INVASION OF WATER BEARS?

Yes, the final redpill is water bears

is this blooming new meme? I already love it

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This thread helped me discover the movie the lobster and I just finished watching it. Thanks op it was good

The word "Human" has literally been invented to distinguish us from animals.

t.brainlet

Favorite part?

Yeah except the whore isn't dead.

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>member of your family
The answer is obviously to do nothing.

if you choose any number of randos over your family member you suffer from pathological altruism and you're going extinct.

he blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb. Just because you share blood doesn't mean shit.

how fucking humiliating.

t. vegan cuck going extinct

Nah, “human” is just the non-scientific name for homo sapiens like saying “dog” instead of canis lupus familiaris

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t. retarded child whos clearly underage

I got to choose between lion camel and an't what do?

Outside, soft and puffy. Inside, like the inside of your cheeks if the tissue was made into a tunnel shape and with walls around

Camel

>dogwithacuckblog.webm

so this...is the power of acting...

Not that guy but I would hide in the bush. I am an engineer and can fashion all shorts of traps. They drew first blood

Then it's also a name for Homo habilis, Homo rudolfensis, Homo naledi, Homo ergaster, Homo erectus, Homo floresiensis, Homo antecessor, Homo heidelbergensis, Homo neanderthalensis, Homo rhodesiensis, Homo georgicus.

Explain your logic now.

Is this movie worth watching?

Ive heard a lot of people mention it recently but its quite a few years old.

When he buried that bitch who blinded his girlfriend

Fuck yes, and it came out in 2015, that hardly qualifies as quite a few years

Most Reddit post in this thread

Yo yo yo horsebros in the house what were your other choices? For me fucking starfish and sheep.

A few is usually 3-5. So 4 sits right in the middle of that range

26 y/o with degrees in philosophy and CS. but that's irrelevant, appeal to authority fallacy. that "blood of the covenant" shit is an obvious ploy to get large numbers of people to act in the interest of some authority, even if their own self-interests are not compatible. abandon your family and join my cult where you serve me and not yourself. ideology is always top down. the overseer class picks what the peasants ought to believe in.

preserving your own family or tribe or at least general region you consider home is your self-interest and all alternatives mean being someone else's tool. the only reason to save the 17 randoms would be if several of them looked familiar enough to be just as related to you as your known relative on the other track.

I got 3 to choose from and this is the closest I guess.

Ive been free from porn for 3 years though.

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It's more to just make him go out and look for a mate, it's not for pleasure inherently. Just a part of the job and I think she shows that pretty well.

not sure what your argument is with that other user but yes, that is correct. the genus homo was originally created to contain all species people wanted to classify as human. it's interesting because you have people go on about the missing link but from the fossil record there are so many slight variations and new subspecies and isolated groups being discovered that there is constant debate about the classification.

Is that supposed to be sexy? What is she even doing.

crashing this bed

I got an elephant. Fine with me, elephants are pretty cool.

Rubbing herself on his cock to make him horny/blue balled so he’ll be more desperate to find a mate

She's giving him an incentive and drive to find a romantic partner

Starfish and cat

Probably the meaner sort of housecat

A peregrine falcon or an orca. Flying would be very enjoyable, but being an orca could be really cool as well.

Good

thats not comfy... she just gives you eternal blue balls until you leave the combine. she doesnt let you nut. she just works you up so youre super horny and ready to settle for any pussy.

Based

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I have never known a woman intimately.

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> The word "dog" has literally been invented to distinguish them from animals

retard

thats why we just rub mcdonads on our dicks

You know those hentais in wich the guys say his dick is melting? That. Without condoms. With condoms I don't remember right now. Imagine a really tight on all your dick and at least a bit wet good hand masturbation, but it's also kinda vacuum sealed.

crow

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So he's filming his wife simulating sex with another man? That's pretty cucked.

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obsessed

Why does she have to rub her ass on his dick, can't she just give him a handjob or a viagra?

>viagra
Would that actually make him horny, or just give him an erection?

a female, then i would find a nice suffering incel and be his loving and devoted wife

Gorilla or
Penguin

soft and warm. smells tho

Crow bro

CAW CAW MOTHERFUCKER

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based and smarter than I am pilled

This post made me jerk off and it was quite the disappointing wank.

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