8 year old cousin is over

>vigorously pounding cousin in my room
>mom yells from downstairs not to finish inside, we don’t need more retards in the family
>mood is gone and I go limp
moms. am I right dudes?

>tfw cousins are all too young to get pregnant so mom never has to yell this
Five more years before it's even necessary

i prefer the sister version

I unironicly had a chance to bang my cousin, but we both talked about it and decided it was wrong and now we don't even talk to each other.

Saying edgy things isn't the same as making a joke

>Watch movie with 7-year old brother
>It's cold as fuck
>Cover ourselves with blanket
>Mom: "This isn't Neverland Ranch. Remove that blanket."
I slept alone that night.

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virgin larp

You must be a really weird dude if your own mother doesn't trust you alone with an 8 year old kid.

>at friends house
>tryna watch White Noise (I think it was 2007 or so)
>his little sister runs in butt naked and starts attacking me
>kissing me, jumping on me
>realize later on he was probably grooming her, or something along those lines

probably so she can keep an eye on what you're watching.
unless you have a history.

cute

>moms NEVER cockblock sons
Well, mine must be different. She ruined every opportunity I had with girls until I moved out.

My cousin made me feel funny back in the day. She was just the right amount of tomboyish and girly.

>incest is edgy on 4channel
how many minutes have you been here

I want a son but I'm autistic as fuck

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>years ago
>playing GTA
>shoot two black people
>didn't realise that my dad was sitting behind me
>asks "why did you shoot those people?"
>i don't have a legitimate answer

Attached: hood apu.jpg (250x171, 5K)

Simple, she doesn't want you to be remembered for molesting your Cousin

why would you close the door in the first place anyway?

stfu retard

Based

your mom is a bitch

>moms NEVER cockblock sons.

If you're not her favorite

Ask her if she thinks you're a pedo. If she has no real reason to believe that you are (convictions, complains, etc.) it's better to end the suspicions right away. Women are masters at letting resentment simmer in their head, she might go crazy down the road and kick you out of the house without a warning or cut your dick.
t. knower of many things about how my mom and sister operate

Attached: 1533443798936.png (400x381, 114K)

this reminded me of when I was watching tv with my friend in my room and dad barged in and started screaming at me for no reason

Based Dad. He didn't raise you to be queer.

i like this thread

Attached: 1551988613690.jpg (3500x2940, 441K)

>my family's adopted kid asked if i have a gf again

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It's only edgy if you're insincere

>it's okay if you're gay user
fuck you grandma

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>playing Vice City
>pedestrian skiing in a Cheetah
>mom is horrified, "those are innocent people"
>nobody is innocent, mom

my grandma keeps asking if I have a gf, I have a suspicion that I'm about to know this feel

Tell us a joke then, funny man

Your life

>take little sister to movie
>get dirty looks
>asked to leave
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>school trip in 2nd year of high school to London for a week (im from Holland)
>we are to stay at a guest family houses with groups of 3
>be a fucking loser without friends and get paired up with one other guy as the sole couple instead of triplet to a guest family house
>guest family is single mom who was quite respectable and very nice and a girl that was around 11 years old
>first night staying there nothing happens
>second night guy i was coupled with has family emergency if i recall correctly his close relative died, so he has to go home
>alone with the guest family now
>third night the little girl starts hanging out with me in my bedroom watching TV and movies and stuff
>she asks what i want to eat tonight, say chinese takeout
>chinese takeout arrives and mom tells us we can eat it on the bedroom while watching tv
>after eating it i start laying on the bed to watch TV
>girl stands up and walks over to the bed
>become slightly nervous
>girl just lays down on the bed with her head on my stomach
>pretty nervous at this point the mom might walk in and get mad at me
>keep laying down because it was pretty comfortable
>she says that the chinese food was so spicy that she is really hot and grabs my hand to feel her forehead saying "feel how hot head is"
>keeps it there for like 5 seconds
>im utterly at a loss for words on what to do and say "haha yeah"
>10 minutes later she starts laying parralel to me
>5 minutes later she starts tickling my hand, i laugh it off nervously
>she asks if she can braid my hair (it was just shorter than shoulder length at the time)

cont.

>Tell us a joke
female sports

haha

this
Moms always cockblock their sons.
In a very creepy way it is to keep you to themselves.
It's not even in a sexual way.
They want to be the woman in your life that you are close to.
They cant handle that you could find another female to connect with and do everything in their power to stop it.

Is this really true..?

>reached & passed the point of knowing through repeated experience there is no chance, so never even bother anymore
>friends all believe this means you are closeted
>try to "hook you up" fucking twice to gay guys
Not even mad just frustrated.

go on...

> slowly closes the door....

>lied to my family and told them that i have a gf
>they're all really happy for me
>family dinner
>mum has a few drinks says she used to think that i was gay

Attached: abstract feel.jpg (680x684, 42K)

>>too young to get pregnant
what is even the biological mininum? you hear shit in India about like a preggo five year old.

she thought you were a pedo

dont tell them "yes"
they'll treat you differently despite insisting otherwise. whenever the gay question comes up, firmly tell them to fuck off.

That you should stop copypasting legendary threads and expecting the magic to come back

>say that i'd rather braid her hair because i had older sisters that always wanted me to do it to them too and i was good at it
>braid her hair while we're both in lotus position
>she loves it and instantly runs out to show her mom
>slightly worried at this point
>mom comes in the room with the little girl (very worried now)
>mom says that i was a very nice young man for playing with her daughter and thanked me for doing such a nice job
>relieved as fuck
>mom leaves and girl lies back on the bed with me
>keeps tickling me but now my feet and sides of my stomach too
>asks if she wants her to sleep with me in the room considering my 'friend' had to leave
>tell her to ask her mom if she thinks its ok first
>she does, everything is ok
>she gets a sleeping bag for the night

cont.

whenever my mom has a few glasses of wine she tends to go off about how she failed me as a parent. it's insulting and depressing at the same time.

I can't stop to think that I wouldn't be so much of a failure if I had a dad. Growing with a single mom is the path to self-destruction.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fetus_in_fetu

>mom says it’s ok for her 11 year old daughter to sleep with a stranger
material falsification but I will accept the testimony

>who is B
Stupider shit happens.

>we stay up pretty late watching movies
>she starts getting a little sleepy and starts nuzzling up against my shoulder
>feel something that i've never felt before, i guess it qualifies as love
>get freaked the fuck out
>kinda panicking at this point thinking i might fuck up the rest of my life at this point in time
>she wakes up a little 5 minutes later
>asks me if i'm not sleepy
>say that i am
>she walks over and turns the tv and lights off
>expect her to walk to her sleeping bag
>walks to my bed and gets in
>don't say anything
>about 10 minutes we just lie there trying to sleep
>she starts stroking my back with her hand
>get goosebumps and shake a bit
>she laughs
>i turn from laying on my side to laying on my back
>she lies on her side and starts smooching my cheek
>my eyes go wide the instant i noticed but don't say anything
>she does this for like a minute
>decide to take a risk and slowly crawl my hand toward her side
>touch her tummy over the shirt she was wearing

cont.

waiting for the loch ness monster

Is he going to walk the dinosaur?

I wish my parents would even acknowledge they were fuck ups.
They thought not allowing me to think for myself and demanding that I suck the dick of all authority figures regardless of how retarded they were was good parenting.
Thank god I'm not a moron like the majority of people and was able to break the conditioning.
>just do it
My parents were literally an 18 year long nike commercial.

I sure hope you don't have any relatives in Bel Air

>tfw no fetus waifu

PLS CONTINUE

Skip to the part where it has a dick and rapes you

>it was just shorter than shoulder length at the time
What a fucking faggot

>fucking your underage cousin is considered edgy now on Yea Forums
fucking election

I know it's coming but am still engorged & will be so pissed at the end

At least you weren't caught in the act

>childhood years
>used to give foot massages to girls
>word got out that i was the best person in my school to go to during lunch break
>i had no idea of how to give proper massages, i just wanted to touch girls feet
I was a master of my craft

Attached: pepe glasses.png (527x502, 339K)

Based

>friends all believe this means you are closeted
>try to "hook you up" fucking twice to gay guys

Me too, user, me too.

>At a bar with a friend and his gf
>She's VERY insistent that I meet a guy friend of hers
>Exchange greetings, and then that was kind of of it
>She seemed disappointed

>At another friend's house, hanging out in the living room with our group of friends
>Their wives are hanging out in the kitchen with one of their friends, a really twinky asian dude who was cooking for everyone
>He would periodically bring stuff to sample into the living room, and would say vaguely sexual shit anytime I would try whatever was being sampled
>I would either not respond, or just awkwardly chuckle
>After he left, the wife was all "Soooo, what did you think of (gay guy's name)?"
>"I don't know, seemed like a nice guy. Pretty good cook."
>That was the end of it

I didn't realize what was going on until I thought about it a while later.

You better fucking continue user.

How old were you btw?

>stepmom makes fun of my 15 year old half brother
>"Oh 'user's brother' you and your memes and traps
>Stepmom doesn't know
>Look at half brother
>He smiles

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>start slightly rubbing the side of her stomach
>she starts nuzzling in my neck
>move my hand from the side of he stomach to her lower back
>she starts kissing my neck
>move my hand over her hip to her thigh
>i turn my head and we kiss intimately though we both weren't good at kissing
>she starts putting her hands all over my chest and stomach and side
>cum in my pants with the intensity i've never had before or since
>keep kissing and feeling for like an hour
>she says she's getting tired and lays on her back
>try to see if she's awake 5 minutes later
>is asleep
>now im panicking thinking about what would happen if mom were to walk in
>very gently wake her up and carry her to her sleeping bag
>she looks a bit disappointed but falls asleep in a minute when she was in the sleeping bag
>go to the bathroom to clean up
>panicking now about the girl telling what we did to her mom

cont.

lmfao your whole family knows you're a disgusting fucking pedo. You should probably kys yourself

>i had no idea of how to give proper massages, i just wanted to touch girls feet
gonna lay a revelation on you, they just wanted their feet touched

stay the fuck away from that kid and your mom
that's nightmare fuel

sorry about that bro

>cont.
Fuck off im not reading anymore

>moms NEVER cockblock sons
how can you be so fucking stupid. My mother has tried to cockblock me at every opportunity. Even when I told her we should just fuck and get it over with, she cockblocked me.

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Sneed's feed and seed
Formerly Chuck's

>sister tries to hook you up with overtly queenish, outright mincing faggot who leaves you a bouquet of penis shaped lollipops
There has been a massive & ever evolving re-evaluation of every single thing about myself since that one, forced to conclude my sister was simply trolling me.
Actually proud of her for that one, that one was deep.

God I hate when parents say shit like this. They think its normal, but it definitely makes you feel like a creep.

Well then, it's a win-win situation, isn't it?

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>being such a fucking weirdo your mother feel the need to make it clear to you that you shouldn't lock yourself in a room with a child

Just kill yourself my man.

nigga

C

That's the depressing part, I wish my mom didn't blame herself. I was unplanned and my parents did their best for the given situation, I had it a lot better than most people and I am grateful for that. At the same time though she's kind of calling me a fuck-up, which isn't entirely wrong but still.

My dad was around until my parents divorced when I was about 8. But he was also an insecure, emotionally abusive when he was around, so I don't see how I would have turned out any better had they stayed married. I think the dad has to be a decent man for his sons not to turn out fucked up.

>plan to wake her up earlier in the morning at 7AM (i set my watch which had an alarm) so i could talk to her and explain things
>cant sleep for like 3 hours but then i awake to my alarm at 7AM
>softly wake the girl
>she looks confused but smiles when she sees it's me waking her
>ask her if she's ever done what we did last night before
>she says she has to alot (alot probably meaning like 3-5 for her) of other boys but not in bed and no touching
>i explain to her that it was alot of fun but it would be better if you didn't tell your mom about this
>she asks why
>tell her because your mom likes me alot already and if she knew we were getting along this well she might cry when i was forced to go at the end of the week
>she says she understands and smiles
>asks if i want to watch tv now
>we watch tv
>still not assured that i'm safe for the next 2 hours
>breakfast time
>she doesn't say anything and was just making jokes during breakfast

that's about it. had 1 more night after that which was similar to the prior one though a little shorter. friday morning i gave her a hug and her mother a handshake.

mfw my mom caught me licking my little sister's feet
and now I get the same treatment as OP

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Attached: Hahahahaha.jpg (236x168, 10K)

>giving no responsibility to the mom in this situation
classic

>11 year old cousin says nigger all the time
>we try to make him stop
>"but pewdiepie"
Fuck that guy.

what's worse, your mother calling you in a round about way, but admitting her faults, or your mother telling you how proud she is of you even though you've failed at every thing you've tried to do, and KNOWING you're a fuck up

reading is hard

>>she says she has to alot (alot probably meaning like 3-5 for her) of other boys
wow what a fucking SLUT

>this wall of text is worth reading
fuck off

quads of based

why would replying to it be

>Actually had a shot at fucking my hot cousin
>Escape to the woods from a cocktail party, driven by lust as if we're acting out an incestuous play
>As she lay there, breasts bare from her dress, I couldn't achieve a boner because I was too drunk

YOU SHALL COME TO A PRISON BUILT OF REGRETS AND SORROW, WHERE THE SHADOWS THEMSELVES HAVE GONE MAD.

WHAT CAN CHANGE THE NATURE OF MAN?

Attached: Doomguy.png (255x244, 82K)

Well, at least you had the wherewithal to not outright fuck an 11 year old when you were (presumably) 15 or so.

Was she even developed sexually at that point?

This seriously might be the most fucked up board on Yea Forums, and I'm not even trying for (you)s here. There are some legitimately sick human beings in ITT.

nigga u gonna kavanaughed in 20 years

i made it up. the story is only real up until where she grabbed my hand to feel her head. i just always fantasized about this happening (but more but i don't wanna be v&'d) :^)

>even his mom won't have sex with him
lmao incel

Fucking tourist.

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lurk more. on other boards i mean

>in IIT
yikes

Based and bluepilled

Not bad for a writefag.

I assumed as much, but wanted to believe. 11 is still a bit young for a girl to be that curious.

Try /r9k/

yikes

I have IMAGINED a similar experience; have fun when it's grown to nearly being you having kept her in a dog cage & only letting her out to rape her in 10 years time.
I'd imagine they never remember things accurately & shit grows to be warped unrecognizeably in retelling.

>have a 9 year old niece
>has never called me Uncle user, it's always just been user
>told me recently I can't be an Uncle because I don't have a girlfriend
>her logic being based on the fact all her uncles and aunts are in relationships so therefore Uncles and Aunts are like a package deal, can't have one without the other
>tfw getting roasted by a 9 year old

It use to be a lot worse

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Holy shit the bar is so fucking low now

You're right, I should stop bitching about it.

my favorite is a tossup between
>kys yourself
or
>RIP in peace

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damn that was wholesome

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my fantasies though they might be pedophiliac in theme are usually quite wholesome.

>3am
>Having sex with a girl
>*Text message from mum*
>"Your friend needs to leave.."

Attached: Drink driving.png (460x374, 204K)

(you)

Fuck her and when you're finished, ask her
"Am I your uncle now ?"

Muy cousin jerked me a couple of times before i was able to cum, she found funny how i shaked.

The next summer, with hair in my balls, the fucking whore blueballed me the whole holidays.

you a degenerate?

A newfag? I've been here since the election, better luck next time creep

It's common. Michael Jackson had boys sleeping in his room for 30 days and longer and the family consented to it.

>Feeling the need to explain why you shot two niggers
Kill yourself

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAHAHHHHHHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAHAHHHHHHAHAAHAH

>quite wholesome
I've never know an "evil" pedo. The "gotta fuck 'em all" type who wants them crying.
Sad fuckers usually just want innocent love, and trying to find an innocent womerns leads you to fucking zygotes trying to find an uncorrupted age.

>A newfag? I've been here since the election
o i am laffin

Weak

legitimately made me kekle.
It's funny how many people think this thread is bad when it is extremely tame compared to shit I've seen.
I assume it's the reddit crowd that's watered this place down so much.

i wouldn't be interested in raping a fucking minor. im interested in a little girl lifting me up from my shitty life and making it worth living.

11 year olds can have pubic hair and little boobies, user. My mom's a school nurse, she's told me all about it "to prepare me for having daughters".

EVERYBODY WALK THE DINOSAUR

i want an autistic son to fuck

>cousin is staying over for the weekend
>picking a movie to watch in the basement after parents go to sleep
>she won’t help, just keeps bitching about how my moms cooking hurts her stomach
>takes like an hour to finally pick beverly hills ninja
>trying to get comfy and watch some classic farleykino
>she won’t stfu about how much she has to fart
>keeps letting out little toots and laughing while I’m trying to hear what Chris Rock is saying
>”oh my god user you have to smell this”
>pulls her pants down and farts bare-assed an inch from my face
>missed almost entire hibachi scene due to her stinky ass in my face or her annoying laugh
>get frustrated and go to sleep, promising to myself to rewatch in solitude after demonbutt leaves

>im interested in a little girl lifting me up from my shitty life and making it worth living
I too used to want impossible things.

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>"Do you think you're being nice?"

That'd cut that shit out right there and then. Probably shouldn't say that to your grandmother though.

>teach 11 year old girl privately
>her mum frequently assumes I want the door closed and leaves us alone
>realise how easy it would be to molest her
>never do because I'm not a fucking pedo
>realise I share a board with these degenerates

"RIP in peace" is actually a meme.

The other two are from genuine normie tourists.

god i want a lgf

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Die

>*stays*
What did you mean by this?

why did you lick your sisters feet user?

>imagine the smelle

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What a cunt!

It appears that she doesn't want you spelunking the delicious cunny

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haha howd that play out? whatd you say

>realise how easy it would be to molest her
It never is

>tfw actually share this feel but also with my aunt and never got caught
I want to wipe my entire youth away, fuck porn and fuck mousepad for making it look easy

Puberty starts as early as 10 for girls I know that.

Just odd that an 11 year old would be that interested in sex.

This happens to me too. I've started just lightly implying that I'm gay, but not outright saying it. So its too awkward for them to make any assumptions either way, so they just leave me alone. Its a lot better than them thinking I'm a pedophile.
Normies can't conceive a person could be perfectly satisfied being a volcel.

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>9 year old cousin has a huge ass
that is all

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great, now I'm hard, but my brother is still awake next door
wat do

>I'm not a pedo
>I'm not a degenerate
>the though of molesting a little girl crosses his mind
>still tries to act morally superior
normal fags everybody

I'm not a pedophile, by the way. I just have too much social anxiety to feel at all comfortable in a romantic relationship.

Nice kitty.

I feel like there used to be a tradition where newfags would spend some time on Yea Forums when they first came here where they saw a lot of this, then they would get bored and spread out to other boards relevant to their interests, but they'd have been desensitized. I feel like this tradition is getting lost when I read posts like this.

>wat do
post feet

Since everyone is here
What happened to the pedobot?

Yea Forums isn't what it used to be Nothing is.

Weeb culture here started it.
They shit out incest stories.

he was only pretending to be a pedophilie ironically and got creeped out when the threads started attracting actual pedophiles.

Based dad
Bet you call him "sir"

>she

You already know pedo

THESE are the newfags

>moms NEVER cock block sons

Yes they do, it’s literally programmed into them.

lol wtf op I have one question for you

who controls your door?

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>pretending
>search his trip on google
>one of the sites he posts on belongs to the triforce

well back in them days it was innocent and wholesome cunnyposting, now its either too lewd pedo stuff or people posting about their murder fantasies. maybe he got tired of it

God I wish that were me

>have to interact with hot girl
>boss says 'dont show fear' or stop being afraid
>i wasnt even nervous
>the girl heard him
wtf is this

can confirm this is a fucking lie
a girl once gave me her phone number in a train told mom cause i was happy about it
she said it might be a crazy woman or might be trying to hut me or something
feelings and happyness destroyed by my own mother

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>lotus position

>no woman will ever love you as much as me

>all the normal fags ITT
jesus just put this site out of it's misery

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i wish he'd come back desu ;_: if you read this pls know there are still anons out there who love you

it's literally ingrained into their subconscious to cock block you at every turn, thats why I trieat my mom like a second class citizen.

>little cousin sits on my lap
>her mother immediately tells her to get off

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I'd settle to just be put out of my misery.

she doesn't want sloppy seconds

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orgasm command is one of my interests.

i;d settle for all mobile IPs to be permanently disabled and for this website to be non accessible on a phone or tablet.

lmao

Year never getting phones banned. Everyone under 30 has one barring one or two incels.

post pic lol

Why are parents afraid of us bros? Just because I'm a 30yo virgin with a loli collection doesn't mean I'm a bad person

>everyone has phones bro
>this somehow means phone posting will never get banned
>uses reddit buzzword as his go to insult
are you even trying normal fag?

>be trapish user
>hang out with Dad every once in awhile
>hes kind of a neet shut-in trekkie type, so we are both awkward in public
>go to restaurant
>he pays because hes rich
>Chinese wait staff think we are a couple on a date
This happens so often and never ceases to be embarrassing

>Years ago
>chasing little brother around public park pretending to be a monster
>other kids start joining in and running too
>chasing random kids around because why not they're all having fun
>Mom pulls me aside and says to leave the other kids alone because she doesn't need me to be known as the Michael Jackson of our town
The thought it was anything pedo never even dawned on me and it hit me in weird feels.

Don't you people have phones?!

Girls that age are slick, they're already having their sexual awakening and are smart enough to still act innocent.
Your mother knew about that and was trying to protect you.

The thought only crossed my mind after reading all you sickos larping about your adventures in nonceville

>Go to Indian restaurant with friend
>Sikh waiter acts really weird around us. Lots of smiling and laughing to himself
>The wait-staff brings out a curry in the shape of a heart and claps for us.
>Realize its Valentines Day and they think we're on a date.

>footfag
You deserved it.

>mum driving me home from kinoplex
>how was the film user?
>good, it was good (watched there will be blood)
>after a long silence, mum turns to me
>are you gay user?
>n-n-no. why would you ask that?
>oh, i didn't think you were, but...nevermind.

>bro its your fault I fantasized about molesting a little girl im not one of you guys I swear!
you keep telling yourself that normal fag

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>2 hours

sounds like cope to me