Do you even know how to use

the three shells

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Two to pull the shit out of your ass, one to scrape the shit off your ass.

First contains a diuretic/laxative to swallow so you can quickly pee and shit.

Second contains a stool hardener and bladder blocker to stop the first

Third contains a a fishing hook on a string to get out anything you want to keep

doubt it, because then 2 shells would look the same and one would be different, and clearly all the 3 look the same

there are shit-devouring hermit crabs (not to be confused with Yea Forums posters) underneath

i wonder when we will develop a new technique to wipe our asses, we had been doing it the same way since the start of human history.

What do you think bidets are

At the start we didn't even wipe

Now Japanese toilets play music so the plonking sounds don't offend others

I always need a fourth shell to scrape the shit off fully.

Why was it standardised as 3? I have a non standard asshole.

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you use your tongue to pleasure the shells and if you do a good job a poor person comes out from under the sink and cleans your ass with their tongue.

they're levers. the thing operates like one of those japanese toilets with tons of buttons and options

bidets are older than toilet paper you retard, it's just that you didn't have indoor plumbing until recently.

Supposedly, Medieval people used moss to wipe their asses, which seems a good deal better than the alternatives, if you consider what else they could’ve been using to wipe their bums.

survival guides do suggest moss or dry grass if you're in the wild

what the FUCK kind of diet do you need to have the texture consistency to pull shit out of your asshole?

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Corn cobs aren't to bad, i think they're the most convenient but you'll need to be in a place where corn is regularly available.

>Throwing three metal shells down the toilet when there doesn't seem to be any stored anywhere.

not sure

I always thought that they were buttons that controlled some bidet-like device.

Where would you even get that much moss?

...

What if you have diarrhea? Do you just wash your ass in the shower?

>NOT JUST USING A BIDET
amerifats and their dirty asses

Don't Toto toilets clean your ass out as well

onions

Europeans don't bathe, which is why they invented the bidet in the first place.

Our asses aren't dirty enough to warrant using bidets, you skidmark-having faggots lol

>THAT scene in the Spartacus tv show

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Most people don't wipe properly. You have to really get in your ass to clean it. Sad!

I don't get it

>somebody post the meme

will humans ever evolve to have self cleaning assholes

First scrubs poo off
Second rinses poo hole area
Third cleans/freshens poo hole area
dumb fucks

I always assumed they were buttons. Like pressing one washes your ass, pressing another flushes, etc.

>defrosted caveman doesn't know how to do basic thing joke
>they go with using three metal seashells to wipe your ass instead of literary any tech joke at all

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I just pull the shitty hair out of my ass in the shower

>super futuristic asshole-cleaning technology
>still have to use a toilet brush to remove shit residues from the bowl

I'm surprised this many people have seen Demolition Man