What made it so kino?

The director wasn't a complete fucking hack.

youtube.com/watch?v=2tg3-93jKvc

Why are critics so out of touch with audiences?

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The audiences doesn't mind flaws, cheese, the same story, etc..critics are always looking for something sensational and original. Critics are often bought too of course.

>critics are always looking for something sensational and original.

...Especially with the cookie cutter, formulaic made by committee, sterilized for the masses, completely predictable and full of "humorous" quips Marvel and nu-Disney Star Wars films...

Ironic.

>good dialogue
>consistent vision and world-building
>grumpy protagonist that was basically a 20th century person transplanted into the future, he got weirded out and annoyed over the same stuff the audience did, making him identifiable and likable
>the juxtaposition of "cute innocent waif is actually a deadly weapon" hadn't been done to death yet
>made with the exact right mix of practical and CG effects and it aged extremely well
>watching it as a date movie guys saw their GFs in Leeloo and girls saw their BFs in Korben and it made them like the characters even more, you ever wonder why so many sci-fi movies try to shove in a useless love story it's because they're trying to ape the dynamic this movie ingeniously aced
>weird goofy french aspects like Ruby Rodd work because of Korben's realistic reactions of annoyance and exasperation to them
10/10 total lightning in a bottle movie that will never be replicated

Ending up as a film critic is a good indicator of everything in your life going wrong

not kino, it sucks, it always sucked

I know he has his fans but I hate Chris Tucker in this movie, he gives me a headache. The film would have been better if the character was less loud and obnoxious or just give him less screentime. He out of the blue becomes Bruce Willis' sidekick

green like what?

Bruce Willis being pissed off

it was made with passion and creativity.

the reason valerian didn't work boils down to two reasons
>75% of it is miscasting of the lead actor
the guy looked too fucking young to be believable as this decorated military hero combined with a complete lack of charisma and leading man good looks
the movie itself was fairly well written, go back and rewatch the first scene Valerian is in but imagine the dialogue being performed by someone with actual charisma like Mummy-era Brenden Fraiser or Chris Pratt or Oscar Issac - it totally works
honestly clara was fine, in these types of movies the chick doesn't matter as long as she's reasonably hot and has good chemistry with the male lead, and I'm putting the disconnect on Dane "school shooter" DeHaan
imagine any of their scenes with the 3 aforementioned actors swapped in and it works - the bickering over her driving would have actually been funny, they wouldn't have looked like siblings so romantic scenes would have actually felt romantic and not weird
>the other 25% is bubble
jesus fucking christ bubble
the entire movie grinds to a halt for a 30 minute detour that resolves itself in a way that has no lasting effects on the story
if this was cut out completely the movie would automatically go up by one star
see:

Nothing, it's a bad movie and you have pleb taste.

I liked Valerian, but mostly because of the wish fulfillment aspect. I also want to be a Space Cop traveling the galaxy with my qt waifu who pretends to not like me when actually she wants my dick bad

He was supposed to be a decorated military hero? I saw the trailer and thought he was meant to be a random teenager.

>reasonably hot
>good chemistry
Yikes

nope
he's supposed to be a highly trained, highly competent military operator that's also fucked hundreds of chicks (the movie literally has a gag in the first 10 minutes where a slideshow of the chicks he's banged goes by)
totally believable with this guy, right?

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Can someone explain that "Love is the 5th dimension" shit that Jew producers are pushing, like on Interstellar?

Whats the point of that?

I'd say it's more like the will to bring the elements together and save the... Universe? Or just Earth? I don't know.

Super green

The best indicator of a bad movie is that critics like it. The same is true of the opposite. Even before the rampant reviews for hire bullshit we have to put up with now, critics were always retarded.

ancient egypt and aliens. it's 100% kino combination

Mundanes think the power of spirit is just emotion basically, and since the masses are maudlin shits they think love is the only emotion that counts. Mundanes can't into magic, as always.

Critics like the godfather II and it's a good movie.

No it isn't. It's stupid mafia shit. You just proved my point. Critics are like Yea Forums. They only like plebshit and independent films because they think that makes them look smart.

Critics have always been a bit clueless and nitpicked too much, it's true. But at least in the old days they actually seemed to enjoy watching movies instead of just shilling whatever shit flick fits their worldview

Even in the old days, critics' tastes were dogshit. They're the perfect combination of thinking they're elite so they pick everything apart, and actually being the lowest shit of pleb possible so they actually have terrible taste. When you combine those two things, every thing that critics say makes perfect sense. Add the fact that all critics are just farm animals spitting out pre-programmed reviews for money at this point, and that's pretty much that. Audiences are retarded too. I mean look at all the most popular directors. They're all fucking complete hacks. People actually thought Unbreakable was a good movie. Vociferously so. But at least they're not critics.

The Chris Tucker scenes though

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Agreed, he's fucking annoying. I don't understand how people find him funny

>heres my contrarian opinion about contrarian opinions

HOLY SHITTU IT'S ACTUALLY REAL!!!

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It was a perfect movie; solid story with no glaring plot holes or open-ended leftovers by the end of it, great cast, stellar music, the biggest indoor explosion ever filmed (at the time). You really don't get any better than that.

Supergreen

except we've learned he literally is. I still don't get how this guy made such a good movie

Nikita is his best though

/thread.

multipass/10

"thanks ray.."

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>critics aren't morons
>Yea Forums doesn't have shit taste
>sam hyde meme
zoom zoom

MOST directors only make a few good movies. It's amazing to me that this has literally always been the case and nobody seems to have picked up on it yet.

>critics are always looking for something sensational and original

could there have been anything that fits that more? fifth element literally has an alien singing a funk-opera

I never said any of those things, I'm just pointing out that your opinion is pretty blatantly contrarian.

ok so most only make a few good ones, but Besson has made straight garbage AND this god-tier movie. it's kinda like the wachowskis

world felt alive

YEAH that's typical for GOOD directors. The average director doesn't make anything good.

Such hyperbole, there are far worse movies out there than the ones Besson made

Fuck off, zoomer. Your generation's getting gassed.