Meet the new Jay and Silent Bob cast

I hope she rips if off in pleasure as she has sex with her white bf, but I have a feeling this will be a very Progressive movie.

If Kevin Smith had dropped after Zack and miri or threvening his shit would be looked after fondly with flaws. Now his shit will be remembered as trash. He will be considered a one hit wonder.

What's up with Smith doing this retarded face in literally everything?

why do leftists love normalizing misogynistic superstitious shit like hijabs?

Well he is retarded.

>The new characters, Fatima, Denisha, Joo Yang and Jane, represent a diverse and powerful shift in the direction of Jay and Silent Bob.

>One scene shows perfectly how the new crew brings laughs and insight to the show that the previously all white and male cast would never have been able to pull off

Fatima: My dad beat me for taking off my hijab.

Denisha: What's a dad?

Joo Yang: CHING CHONG DING DONG WHITE PENISU

close your fucking eyes you fat cunt

He's making THAT FUCKING FACE in movie promos now? WHYYYY

(((Who greenlights this horseshit?)))

Holy Christ, he had to scrape the barrel to find something that makes his kid look good in comparison. It didn't work.

did jay get a new nose?

Let me guess his daughters the ugliest one on the end?

Well he used to work for the Weinsteins

a company that is literally crowdfunded

So you can’t tell he’s stoned, once you smoke in the morning or whatever your eyes might be sleepy fucked for the rest of the day and you can tell in pictures

>this photo looks like it was taken in the 90s but it wasn't

That's kind of impressive.

Jay and Silent Bob and The Rainbow Coalition

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>shoehorning in his ugly ass daughter that he named after God waifu

>implying the ugliest one isn't the nigress and then the one on the right

Still does, just not openly

Harvey's still lurking in the shadows and his brother in the open

Smith's shitty gen x stoner/dick comedy was painfully unfunny and dated in Clerks 2 and that was 13 years ago. Even without filling this movie with poltard triggers it would still suck.

Hey my diverse kids, how’s it all hangin!?

the only reason why this is happening is because he couldn't get the money for all the other movies
and because Jeff Anderson told Kevin to fuck off because something happened between them, so he can't even do Clerks III

does smith have graves disease

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now I won't even download it for free

>4 brave whamen and 2 degenerate males who represent the males in reality
>the whamen kill half the male population on the planet
>absolute based yass queens
>remained muslim males turn up
>beat the absolute fuck out of the muslim girl for not coming back to do her whamen stuff
>everyone's crying
>whamen break the 4th wall and blame white males responsible for the production of this movie
>the end.mp4

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Yeah but he's got a huge boner for her huge ass so he wants to put it up on a massive cinema screen.

LEAVE HARLEY QUINN SMITH ALONE

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i agree, 100% Kevin's got some incest thoughts about his lil gril

if you live in a free state

More like gay and onions bob lmao

Jay Malkovich

that muslim girl is actually the prettiest of them all
kek af

I think it's pretty obvious from the OP that she's Mewes' kid, not Smith's

Imagine actually watching this shit

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She's pretty tight desu

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no, she looks too jewy, see
definitely not Kevin's tho

Blondie's tits are winning that SAG award.

>she looks too jewy
maybe it all comes from Smith's hideous wife

>His fucking daughter
Yeah I should have seen this coming

Is that Finn Wolfhard in the middle?

mfw

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>Fatima: My dad beat me for taking off my hijab.
>Denisha: What's a dad?
>Joo Yang: CHING CHONG DING DONG WHITE PENISU
my sides

Has his wife had a nose job?

Because if not, I'm 99% sure Harvey or some other slimy kike executive pumped that goblin child into her

I guess Depp's daughter is too messed up from her parent's public shitshow to make it in.

Did any chicks even like the first movie? I mean it wasn't even that popular overall, but I can't imagine that many women saw it. lmao. he's pandering to people who will never even think about seeing it.

So the script of this is basically going to be Jay (an old white male) getting snarked at for 90+ minutes about his sexist comments from a diverse group of teenage girls, and Silent Bob just listening, not saying a word until near the end of the film where he finally snaps and delivers a cutting lecture to show what a good "ally" Smith is
How very woke

So this is what a monkey paw's wish feels like.

I wish I could kill Smith with my own hands.

>those sad tits on Harley

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Sadly this is probably true. Jeff Anderson will probably appear in a cameo as Randal and get pwned by the cutting edge wit of the girls.

Things really have changed.

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he knows only reddit has any interest

I had a girlfriend that liked it, even tho I'm pretty sure she would now say it was offensive.

Huh? Why?

I hope one of them is at least trans otherwise IT'S NOT INCLUSIVE ENOUGH AND THERE'S STILL 2 FUCKING WHITE MALES IN IT.

Anderson has no love for Smith. Clerks 3 fell through at one point because he wanted an insane amount of money on top of Smith already offering his director's fee to him.

dunno but yikes did she ever hit the wall

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I really hope this is what actually happens. It would be absolutely perfect.

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And Dante will be there to tell us that in 2019 it's nbd that a teenage girl has sucked 37 dicks

But she probably only saw it because it was your idea I'm guessing.

Who even asked for this?

Oh yeah, aged like room temperature milk

But she really doesn't have any of the obviously Jewish features that the kid does
I mean maybe the ears, but not the rest

And poor cucklord Kevin surely doesn't

Yesh, thats the asshole he eats?

/r9k/ did

>Hasn't made a profitable movie since 2006
Why would anyone give him money to make a movie?

Probably a sikh woman, sword is called a kirpan usually ornamental.

I liked them once but they outlived their own humor

Aren't they both nearing 50?

because it's haram, habibi

Mewes is 44 and Smith is 48. Eminem is 46.

idk if it's still on but is his retarded comic book show after the walking dead the most successful thing he's done in the last 10 years?

What are you talking about

He self-finances the actual productions, he just tries to get distributors on board once they're done. Did Yoga Hosers even get a wide release? It sure wasn't playing in any European theatres.

oh shit I forgot all about this
fucking hell

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He lost a lot of weight and he's not used to opening his eyes with so little resistance

She saw a good amount of Smith flicks before I met her. She was an extreme metalhead and got me into Yea Forums back in 2007.
She's now a fit maniac and feminist, don't really hang around as often.

tbf she was probably a the best a fat slob like him could have hoped for when they met. funny how father time has completely turned the tables on them

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Um, is the group of ugly bitches supposed to be the hot jewel thieves of this movie?

nah, that's from snorting too much cocaine

I think he absolutely admits to this in his first Evening with Kevin Smith

I'm genuinely fucking sick of seeing Muslim women with their stupid head towels in my Western media.

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What went wrong?

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I am kinda amazed Jason Mewes lived this long.

Was that pic taken at castle fun park in Abbotsford? looks familiar.

*brap*

>doing acrobatics to avoid laser beams
>in latex suits

Goddamn, the chaffing.

My friend is working on this film as a higher up. The whole thing is a parody of reboots/remakes hence the 'diverse' cast.

I met Mewes and Brian O' Halloran on the UK shoot of Madness in the Method. Mewes acts like a teenager still and Brian is balding badly.

>Ralph Garman fucked literally hundreds of women at Hollywood swinger parties and worked for Playboy

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Best things Smith did are Chasing Amy and his podcasts.

I have this dream where I break into kevins house smash up the place and hold his family hostage. I rape his daughter in front of him thats named after a fucking slutty cartoon character. I say I will stop if kevin can beat me at batman trivia. And of course he can not. This goes on until I awake.

I have had this dream many times. I have woken up covered in sweat and skeet. Fuck this movie its going to be ripe with le gurl progressive pro islam mentality. why has he only made like 2 good ones.

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kevin should've died desu, it would've been better

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Good lord, his wife looks like an elderly man

That's because she's Jay's daughter, not his.

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I still listen to his podcasts, but he's been treading water anecdote-wise for a long time now. The early format of Fatman on Batman when he interviewed BTAS voice actors and famous comic writers was his peak.

I lold hard

Of course his ugly ass daughter is there

>The new characters, Fatima, Denisha, Joo Yang and Jane, represent a diverse and powerful shift in the direction of Jay and Silent Bob.

> The original girl gang was made up of Shannon Elizabeth, Eliza Dushku, Ali Larter, and Jennifer Schwalbach Smith.

Man, is this a downgrade or what?

Does this aesthetic still "resonate" with anyone.

That's his acting face

The wheezy-ass fake laughing did it in for me.

>Jennifer Schwalbach Smith
Ah, that explains why one of them is not like the others

Yeah I figured that would happen. Loved the ones with Jay and Scott Mosier for the great anecdotes and banter. Smith is a really likeable guy I think, shame his movies kinda suck nowadays.

Well it's not going to be the muslim, the negro or the asian, is it user

no way that's real

Tbh why are their so many hijabis on tv now? There's less than 4 million Muslims in the US, half of those are women, and most of the younger ones I see don't even wear a headscarf. The first three Muslim girls I met were hijab-free, the only thing Muslim they did was not drink.

Reminder that Kevin Smith personally took the nude Playboy photo of his wife being embraced from behind by a Chad in a Superman costume.

Any more info on the falling out?

Quote Kevin:

> "as most reboots feature a familiar story freshly presented with a young and diverse new cast, we follow the example and go full Force Awakens with our Girl Gang!"

'Kevin Smith's mentions of The Force Awakens is in reference to the criticism that the movie received for having too much diversity by certain Star Wars fans.'

Yikes!

>1:30 of Jay and Silent Bob being lectured at for Jay's insensitivity by the Burger King Kid's club.
>Last scene of the film.
>The ultimate lecture.
>Jay hangs his head in shame, he no longer has the strength to fight.
>Silent Bob stands up.
>Jay says "Bob? My God do you have something to say?"
>Bob opens his mouth tentatively and then with all his strength he yells....
>N.....

He just fucking hates people quoting Randal lines at him on the street constantly and wants to be a normal guy. When it came to 3, he asked for an unreasonable amount of money, Kev gave up his own salary to reach it, and like a month before shooting he asked for more.

> "Aparna Brielle plays our plucky Jihad, Treshelle Edmond plays our Silent Bob-ish Soapy, Alice Wen plays our mysterious international podcaster Shan Yu, and my favorite actress ever Harley Quinn Smith plays Milly - who's kinda like the Justice of this Girl Gang (minus the romance with Jay, naturally)."

> "And like the last Girl Gang that changed Jay and Silent Bob's lives, these quick, quippy young ladies will take our heroes on the adventure of a lifetime, ending at that most wretched hive of scum and villainy - Hollywood!"

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Gears of War literally saved his life (for a while atleast). Kevin Smith films might suck but he looks out for his friends.

even fat ugly men age better than once attractive women

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Educate yourself, moron

j e s u s

This could be just diverse enough... well... I think the two white males on the left need to go... then we'll have a hit.

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no Randal = no watch
he was pretty bad in Zack and Miri tho
I'm sure that's annoying to put up with constantly but come on man. He made one of the best characters of all time, embrace it.

His peak was Smodcast pre-weed. He was so good at riffing and telling stories, he's like a completely different person on the pods now.

>Learn another language, moron.

a sikh woman wouldn´t wear a hijab. or a kirpan.

>The whole thing is a parody of reboots/remakes hence the 'diverse' cast.
>Let's make fun of Hollywood forcing diversity by forcing diversity

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>we need abella danger but without the porn filmography
>I know just the girl sir.

Based garman

would you smash his daughter to humiliate him knowing there's a decent chance he'd get off on the humiliation

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of course one of them is a "podcaster", for fuck's sake this guy lives in a bubble
How many self-inserts will he have this time?

Nice satan trips to accompany the cancer those quotes just gave me
Why do people keep letting this stupid faggot make movies? Does anyone actually like them?

Why did he tattoo his daughter's name in his fapping arm?

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WHAAAAT??? She looked fine in zack and miri and that was only 11 years ago

youtube.com/watch?v=N-MWa0s5iFQ

No, I think she's missing a chromosome and I'm not into that. Zip up your pants you mong

i want to have hope

> Harley Quinn Smith plays Milly - who's kinda like the Justice of this Girl Gang (minus the romance with Jay, naturally)

bullshit dude, he totally wants to watch Jay fuck his daughter

he'd want to watch jay fuck his wife too but honestly she's past due at the glue factory

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So it's going to be an even shittier remake of Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back?

>a parody of reboots/remakes
this is so 2011

why does he looks like an HIV carrier

Is it trendy for 20somethings to dress like out of touch middle age moms now?

What, did he quit doing drugs to play Gears or something?

have sex

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feet: 8/10
body: 6/10
face:5/10
i think that´s a fair score

He sort of looks like John Malkovitch with hair now.

holy shit kevin buy new clothes

she's 19 and yes

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Why does he dress like that? Also, nice quints.

he looks like a stretched out midget on the left wtf

What kind of person is an unironic kevin smith fan and cares about a Jay and Silent Bob reboot

*on the right
fuck
he is disturbing
his body is disturbing

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He ran Gears tournaments for years in LA, kept him off hard drugs for a while and kept him busy.

What exactly did he think he was hiding with the comedically oversized clothing?

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A slightly overweight male with awful fashion sense still managed to get laid and produce an offspring. I wonder what that says about you incels hmmm... ?

i want to colonize the muslim girl

It says that any insufferable retard can find a partner if they're wealthy.

>Alice Wen

Why does (((Hollywood))) only cast ugly asians nowadays?

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>Treshelle Edmond

Good news, she's also deaf. So inclusive!

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>people caring about anything that Kevin Smith does

the state of this board

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Mallrats and the first clerks are good.

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why can't people just move on... it makes no sense for the characters at the least.

pretty sure I beat off to Jennifer Love Hewitt wearing the exact same outfit. Kevin you got issues.

also what's her face from Friends. not Aniston or the pretty one.

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That really is an unfortunate face.

hoping harley is playing his daughter instead of some rando chick. it would be interesting to give silent bob a daughter and figure out how the hell that happened.

That's clearly 17 children hiding in a large coat, operating a papier mache head on a stick

Literally kill yourself.

Have you seen them in a while? I thought that because I watched them when I was about 12. I tried watching them again recently. He's always been shit.

that's what bags are for

>Kevin you got issues.
he's done other weird shit with his daughter i can't recall now

Who are those ghouls on the left?

lol
wait when did lohan die

it's definitely her mom's

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The way I've felt about his last few films has put me off revisiting the ones I used to like, in case it turns out I was just an immature kid laughing at swears. Pretty sure that would turn out to be the case

>That's his acting face

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I’d love to rough bang her while Kevin weeps in the corner I’d ream that chunky ass of hers and make her call me daddy

Society

How can a girl this young already hit the wall and has saggy tits?

Great contribution. Thanks for posting, man.

Smith films are best left in the 90s. I tried rewatching clerks and mallrats and it was painful and I loved them when I was younger

holy shit those zoomers in the comments

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She was always ugly and Kevin was always so desperate to make people think he’s bagged a hottie. Imagine casting that ugly monkey eared slut next to fucking Prime Dushku, Larter and fucking Shannon Elizabeth like she’s anywhere near them.

He looks like my dearly departed aunt Phyllis who smoked 2 packs of Virginia Slims a day.

goodbye, jay and silent bob

>Jennifer Schwalbach
>once attractive
No

I don't care about women just by non-whites actually.

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This movie is hella epic my dudes for srs

>the redditor, when confronted with facts will refuse to believe them if it conflicts with his naive world view
In the Hadith it’s stated that a woman in a hijab that wore revealing clothes was to be punished to death, but that goes against the narrative you love to swallow harder than your wife’s boyfriends cock so you don’t have the brain capacity to understand

Don't watch Dogma, it's fucking painful bc it's trying to be so edgy in a way that was only possible in the late 90s.

80s comedies have aged a lot better than 90s movies for the most part desu.

kek, underrated

That's a jew.

FUCKIN YIKES

IS THIS FULL CAPITULATION OR ARE THEY MOCKING THE FEMINISTS NOW

She had unprotected sex with him the first time they met. She was a journalist interviewing him. He was hooked.

Some girls have floppy pancake tits when they're 15, the late 90s and 00s were a great deception because of the novelty of the pushup bra. Zoomers girls aren't buying them as much.

seriously looks like my fucking dad after a crack binge

That's the jewiest Jew I seen Jew ever

Johnny Depp finally said stop putting my daughter in shit movies?

This will be the start of the road that lands Harley Quinn Smith on Weinstein's dick.

It's a bad facelift. They pulled the skin back too tight and now he's stuck like that.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kevin_Smith's_unrealized_projects

when you have an entire wikipedia article about shit you said you were going to make but never did maybe you should just quit

he let her daughter on the set

weed

Some people just need to never be filmed in HD.

It goes a little bit deeper than that though. He retconned his own life around the same time his dad died and daughter got old enough to ask what a bong is.

He used to joke about trading bowls for comics from Flannigan.

I maintain that when he left Weinstein the wifey put some heavy pressure on bringing in some money since their daughter was getting older. Now he's associated with bad show plugs more than movies.

lmao kevin's daughter has a tits of a 80 year old lady

That joke (minus the asian part) is probably funnier than anything thatll be in the movie

Gladly
What a fucking monster

all day err day smokers don't get chink eyed though.

Same fashion sense as her dad.

both parents. and none of them with the genetics to make retro-90s look good. or make me not feel awful about having just unironically typed "retro-90s"

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I only like a handful of Smith's movies but fuck I can listen to him shoot shit about hollywood all day long.

what's going on here? those are some sad titties

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> Two tennis balls and a bungie cable.

Well then, I dont know.

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OH LORD, DON'T IMAGINE THE SMELL

>CAPTAIN MARVEL #1 FAN

she probably knew he would have a stable career and lock him down. at least they seem like a happy family.

Implying the others were good.

If they didnt their cognitive dissonance would break their minds.

bump

I'd rape his daughter in front of him and tell him it was because Batman:Cacophony was so bad, and he never finished his Daredevil mini lel

Those stretchmark on the breasts!

bump

They aren't ornamental, they're for defense.

Middle eastern money in media

Knowing Kevin Smith this will be satire.

Absolute Unit

>If only you knew how bad things really are

Don't smoke, kids.

Based jim!

He's been getting by on tours, podcasts and DVD sales. Jay & Silent Bob still get hurts on seats so he can still get some money.

kek

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Is there a plot synopsis?

his wife looks like Brandi Love lmao

Jason Mewes has that crack jaw. Looks like it's not entirely in it's place.

One his wonder meaning mall rats?

> The “Jay and Silent Bob Reboot” is set to be a commentary on reboot culture. In the film, the classic slacker characters find that Hollywood is shamelessly rebooting the film they tried to stop in Smith’s 2001 movie “Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back.” In what amounts to a meta reboot plot, Jay and Silent Bob try to thwart the latest reboot from within a reboot.

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She's in America, retard.

>It goes a little bit deeper than that though. He retconned his own life around the same time his dad died

why he did that?

thread theme:

youtube.com/watch?v=l7MH9F2_4qY

Different states have different knife laws, ranging from allowing almost anything to only a tiny blade.
None of them are as cucked as the UK though.

>holy shit kevin buy new clothes
I mean, the hat is adjustable, for Christ's sake! Can't he tighten it to fit his new non-lardass skull?

I enjoyed most of his movies, i even saw a few at the cinema but im out.

111167009
>why he did that?
you're not funny posting like a retard faggot

The white bitches titties, lmao!!!

im a retard whos favourite movie is jay and silent bob strike back and like most of his movies but this is an awful idea, leave the characters alone already and move the fuck on

every day we move further from god's grace

so it's a reboot trying to be le meta commentary. lame.

Looks like a Jewish girl. And no, Jews aren't white. They said so themselves.

they are

steamed hams

It’s ma’am!!

I never even liked Kevin Smith or his films yet I find this sad.
Why?

It's his daughter.

HEY REMEMBER COP OUT?

>movie is about Jay and Silent Bob trying to stop a Jay and Silent Bob remake from being made
>remake has modern diverse female cast
It's a parody, dipshits. How do you not get this?

new teeth and new bone replacement in the top of his mouth
fucked it all up with heavy heroin usage
looks like a freak now

At least the black one actually looks like a woman

Ayyyyyyyy a real comic book man

You either die a hero or live long enough to become a villain.

why are straight white males soo pathetic

Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back was hilarious, son

> He loves the cock!

More like Jai and Silent Hijab

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Kek good times

was this Jay's replacement?

still lickin that taint after all these years

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Gotta admit, i like that idea

I don't even care.

Never have kids man. If you see what he is doing as bad then you wouldn't be a good father. You deserve to be an a lifetime incel.

Money's on Jay being pissed off it's an all female reboot until he sees the fem-Bob and fucks her then suddenly it's ok because things gotta change to reflect the world around us.

You're not wrong. I love Clerks 2 but I hate that his wife played Dantes gf. As if someone would have a hard time choosing Rosario Dawson over his wife.

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Is that rick astley with morrisey?

>CHING CHONG DING DONG WHITE PENISU

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How nice of him to personalize his fisting arms.

There is a 1000% chance that Jay has fucked his wife, both with and without him knowing.

Yes

Has Kevin Smith gone full cuck mode?

Are you implying the hijab is part of that minority woman's body?

He's been this way since that Red State movie he made also i think Bruce Willis broke his spirit.

Nice digits homeslice

How the fuck is this relevant? Someone needs to tell this fuck it's not the 90s anymore. Even his personality and sense of humour is so painfully 90s. Like when your older sister or brother makes lame ass jokes and you cringe and force a smile.

>lame ass jokes
you aren't better than anyone zoomer nigger

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Zoomer? Nigger I'm a Boomer you Doomer faggot. I grew up watching this faggot's movies and they were actually pretty decent to my younger self.

So fucking brave

dishonest queer

Holy shit. How does she look so bad? How does Kevin look so good?

She has big feet.

To be fair, when you always have a backwards hat on it makes you look younger/less ugly

see: any pic of him without the hat, even in modern times

He took his daughter to see Zack and miri? What is wrong with him?

It's the basedboy smile, without the smile.

Everything is fine here, Asian girl is a little too much and the black girl should me making the circle game sign

This pic get more subtly ridiculous every time I see it. But I recognize that cheese-wielding arm.

That must suddenly mean the rules don’t apply to her

fpbp

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>wearing jean shorts past the age of 10

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Yes, because there is no Shariah law in America.

is that an npc button?

Why does she wear the hijab

Give the guy a break. He's a boomer and a onions boy but was influential as fuck in the early 90s and 00s. His forums were proto-Yea Forums at their peak, and he was one of the first to really embrace podcasts on a commercial scale. I'm pretty sure jay and silent bob is the first film that ever referenced internet/forum trolls. /