You’re in a desert walking along in the sand when all of the sudden you look down, and you see a tortoise, it’s crawling toward you. You reach down, you flip the tortoise over on its back. The tortoise lays on its back, its belly baking in the hot sun, beating its legs trying to turn itself over, but it can’t, not without your help.
But you’re not helping. Why is that?
Because I'm the one who flipped it over. Why would I flip it back?
irl I would never flip it, aka blade run it, in the first place
Turtle family are the most kino animals
What do you mean I'm not helping?
What’s a tortoise?
A cat in a hat
>You reach down, you flip the tortoise over on its back
But i wouldn't do that tho
I wouldn't have done that in the first place. Stupid test.
EVERY LIVING BREATHING CREATURE IS A COMPETITOR FOR RESOURCES
I WILL NOT TOLERATE A LIVING COMPETITOR IF POSSIBLE
>But you’re not helping. Why is that?
because the tortoise is me.
Let me tell you about OP’s mother...
>because the tortoise is me.
*slow clap*
You passed Voight Kampff. Congrats on being a human. Here is your certificate. Have Nancy at the front desk validate your parking pass on the way out.
What about a repressive protein to block the operating cell?
Why is it that that fukking replicant sweats like a Mexican pig toiling in the gentrified lawns of San Fran every scene?
>What's a tortoise?
Know what a turtle is?
Same thing
I would help it, tortoises are adorable.
Why is it that after repeated attempts to infiltrate the Tyrell corporation, sebastian was just allowed to wander on up there with no security checks?
>calling it "San Fran"
out
I'm too much of a weak faggot to even lift that thing
just like me with a double crunchwrap or a cheesy gordita crunch, only available at your local taco bell
>Do you know what a turtle is?
Why would I flip a tortoise on its back and watch it suffer and struggle? I'm not a nigger nor a psychopath, so I'd rather help the little guy than watch it suffer.
>no tortoise bro to walk around town with
No point in living tbqh Famicom
looks just like me on my walk to the local taco bell
I thought reptiles were supposed to be cold-hearted and cruel.
No that's mammals.
my turtle wouldn't do shit for me. we live different neurological paradigms 100%
what's with the giant goebbels
Based
Look at him go after the other turtle at the end. That guy only flipped her over so he could hit it from behind.
chaotic neutral
how the fuck does a turtle understand how to flip another turtle over
But why in God’s name would I flip a tortoise in the first place?
Something to do, not much going on in the desert.
Becauae you're a nigger
I read a story on Yea Forums once in a thread about the worst thing you've ever done.
Some guy said when he was a kid he found a turtle and covered it in lighter fluid.
He lit it on fire and he said it just withdrew into it shell and cooked there. He said it was very sad and he didn't know why he did it.
You’re not asking the right question
Is the tortoise a god?
This really fucked me up. I have been using Yea Forums for about 14 years and used to browse ogrish but the cruelty people can do to animals always makes me cringe. Like the girl throwing the tortoise into the lake. I had a friend who told me when he was a kid he would throw frogs up in the air and they're break their bones in the ground. I used to be made to decapitate snakes in our yard (probably because my grandpa was in nam he hated them) and shot a chickadee out of the air without it dying with my pellet gun and I feel bad about that shit now. I do hunt things but I was never going to eat a chickadee and I wouldn't shoot something moving full speed now.
they're actually cold-blooded and cool
legend has it he's still following that dude to this day
At least you are aware that what you did was terrible so you aren’t a nigger
I live in the Arizona desert and a tortoise literally came to my front door once. I put up signs all over the place thinking he got out of someone's yard or something. Kept him for about a week. Then he escaped my yard too.
Godspeed, tortoisebro. Ramble on.
>Gotchu senpai
For the record satan I did shoot it in the face after I downed the bird but if I shoot something now they don't survive the shock of the heart/lung/CNS hit.
What an asshole, fuck m*mmals
You can speak with a turtle just by flippin' him around
He flipped the other guy over in the first place. They naturally do this to each other, over and over and over. He wasn't trying to save him.
Oh fuck did it break its neck and died?
Is this part of the test?
Tortoises are cute
The only correct response
because you won't let me, cells
That's just atheist propaganda