I apologize for the interruption but I would like to wish my dear friend user in seat C25 a very happy birthday...

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Thanks Robert!

Damn, Robert. You really didn't have to do this. You're a good friend, man. I really cherish our friendship too. You're the best.

Oh, Robert... everyone forgot about my birthday, but you didn't.
Thank you so much.

I read tgat in an african accent

NO STOP ROBERT

Robert WATCH OUT!!!!

How deep does Robert lore go?

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I enjoy these threads. Sometimes I like to imagine that the guy from the original stock photo has lurked at least one of them and is just smiling.

Here’s lookin at you kid!

>not adding in the music.

I saw Robert at a movie theater in Los Angeles yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for popcorn or anything.

He said, “I'm sorry, sir, but we have a strict no-singles policy”

I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going "We'll gladly allow you to take your popcorn and sit in the virgin pit” and politely offering me an extra large fountain drink in front of my face. I walked away and tried to get into the theater, and I heard him call for security as I walked off. When I came to the ticket guard up front I saw him conversing with the penis inspection witches.

The witches at the ticket stand were very nice about it and professional, and were like “Sir, you need to show us your foreskin first.” At first I kept pretending to be a normie and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and presented my cock.

When she took my penis in hand and started cackling at its sub-standard girth, I stopped her and begged her not to tell anyone I was a virgin “to prevent any embarrassment,” and then winked at her. I don’t even know what I was thinking. After she let go of my cock and balls and started to sentence me to 10 months of falcon keeper duty, I kept interrupting her by getting my ass railed by the designated line rapist really loudly.

>based robert loves cinema so much he goes to the movies on his day off

And they say Yea Forums is racist. Thanks, Robert, what did we ever do to deserve a friend like you.

R-Robert, I...

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NOOOOOOOOOO PUT ROBERT KINO BACK ON

Well this meme started on Yea Forums, that’s why. Yea Forums is on a whole plane of meming generally than other areas like /pol/. And when we don’t get lots of tourists from there this place can come up with good shit.

>He thinks Robert is still alive
user I have some news that may trouble you :(

Afraid they've demoted me to the popcorn mines, sir... I won't be able to sneak you into "no singles" screens anymore. Don't worry, I'll be fine as long as the rape dwarf doesn't catch my scent.

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damn Robert hits that?

You fucking retarded, son?

Damn Bobby boy. That was awful nice, just really very nice. Love ya, buddy

Welcome to whateverplex you want something or you just gonna stand there?

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>Yea Forums
>racist
Who is the black b****** that said this? Point them out to me so I can cosh them >:(

Are the crab legs fresh?

thank you, Robert :')

where is he?

Is that you, user? Shit, it's been too long, old friend. But I can never go back to the Kinoplex, not after what happened...

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Robert would never treat me like this. Let me talk to your manager chav

Thanks Robert, you're the best.

damn, Robert looks like THAT?!

I don’t know and I don’t care.

What happened, Robert? I mean, for my friend here since he’s not aware

godammit this fucking meme is so stupid

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Fuck off vince. Im not buying a shamwow

he caused a melt down in the popcorn reactor

o no
i'm not ready for this

Hey. Mr. Rude cocksucker. Watch your mouth

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Robert is why Americans clap in theaters

Fuck! I woke up my wife

They couldnt shut down the antimatter flow?

Go back to r*ddit and or your containment discord tranny you sub11 IQ braindead inbred fucking faggot

>yuros think we clap at the movie
>we actually clap at the theater workers who did a fine job

Ok I admit, I haven't been on Yea Forums much the past year after spending the last 10 years on this shithole, but I have no fucking idea what this shitty meme is.

Fucking hell this place is like a somehow shittier version of /r/movies but instead of beta males, the userbase is /pol/

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we all woke up your wife once champ

You're welcome to fuck right off back to plebbit

he sounds like an NPC merchant from fallout

>the past year
Nice try, newfag

Get the fuck off my board

Oh wow someone who complains about /pol/ is a stick in the mud, who would have guessed?

youtu.be/orhNcTY-5us

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All those dead body's over kinoplex.... Sad....but he didn't mean it, he didn't have a childhood and was very childlike.

How would you know what /r/movies is like? Fucking reddit, gtfo

back to r*ddit you stupid incel

>t. underage incels who think capeshit constitutes kino

and this is why I stopped coming here, go back to circlejerking orange impeachment man

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Robert was giving massages to patrons on his breaks. There was nothing sexual about it he just wanted his customers to feel the most relaxed they possibly could to enjoy the kino. A Netflix fan caught wind of this and used it as an excuse to get Robert fired. In his grief at being banned from his driving force in life, Robert did some unspeakable things as a mercenary in Botswanna but he'd rather not talk about it.

Shhhhh, let them have their fantasy.

Why are you giving this Redditor any attention in a Robert thread?

ROBERT NO
youtube.com/watch?v=bUFWXpYJKaI

because all /pol/ cares about is blaming reddit to avoid having to acknowledge how lonely they are

Remember to dilate between raids

remember to tuck your head between your legs when your shitty country collapses

1. /pol/ sucks
2. Reddit sucks
3. Robert rules

There now you know who is a fag in this thread.

>calls anyone reddit
>posts RLM

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I wish I could live in a ridiculous world like that, where things like that actually happens.

I wish I could live in a world where /pol/ won't fucking invade every thread with shit

Why our world isnt bizarre, nonsencical and ridiculous? Why they dont actually sell crabs at the theater and have actual falcons flying around?

Do the actor actually knows? We should send him some archived thread

falcon tax

>Why our world isnt
How fucking hard can it be to form a proper interrogative sentence? I'm so sick of this shit

Stop trying to ruin every thread by obsessing over /pol/ you dumb nigger

If my memory serves me right, tv has already chased him off twitter or something

That we do, user. That we do.

>go to kinoplex
>catch a glimpse of the manlet chain gangs, and thank god I am six feet tall
>bring sock puppet to pass singles inspection, as Ocasio-Cortez clause says all romantic interests are valid for theater dates
>fail penis inspection and virginity questionnaire
>pay the 50 dollar virgin fine
>have to buy tickets to Alita: Battle Angel marked up 300%
>buy crab legs and falcon chow
>spent around 700 dollars so far, but manage to mark it down with my frequent viewer card
>Robert gives me a free 64 oz soda
>go to the designated virgin seats
>they are right in front of the screen, and people need to step over us to get in the theater
>Around 15 minutes into the movie, someone stops up the butter refill station and the butter pipeline on the roof breaks
>me and everyone else on the floor gets washed into the butter latrine in a deluge of butter
Currently phoneposting, how do I get out?guys?

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Based Robert as always now please extra butter on the crab legs, like only you know how

Robert/Kinoplex threads are the only good threads on Yea Forums any more and you're a fag if you hate them

Here's a map of the theater. Good luck

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Me too, I've always imagined Robert is a hard-working African immigrant and not an African-American for some reason.

I like the Robert meme. So wholesome.

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>No anvil
You tried

>No falcon galleries
>No death mile to the popcorn mines
>Not even an aviery
>Or a smithy
It's a fake

7/10

Seething incel