What are some rules in jail everyone should know?

Offer blowjobs for protection

What's the food like?

if someone drops their soap in the shower be a pal and pick it up for them

DON'T DROP THE SOAP
LMFAO

Go down swinging

stick with your own

The best you can hope for is High School cafeteria food. Washington County has pretty good salisbury steak.

Definitely learn how to play dominoes and card games

carry a pen if they let you

always believe in yourself

Be nice and stfu

A lot of it is a step or two below school food. Used to work in the food industry, on the manufacturing side, as a Sysco supplier. Our products were pretty solid, and prisons were big customers, but going to a food convention and seeing who caters to prisons and the corner cutting they do is fucking insane. They'll cut every penny to get as many calories into every ounce they can as cheap as they can, so they can spend more on fancy tasers and shit.

Do you mean clean as shower every day? Do they let you shave?

Why

watch ya back. watch yo watch yo watch ya back

I worked in a jailhouse kitchen, the food is not so bad because you get so fucking bored and hungry and it is cold always that eating is a real pleasure and if you aren't a preening nigger with a baby momma to send you money all the time, you only get to eat at mealtimes. It is constipating as hell though.

Depends on the jail. From what I saw, some buy pretty decent food, some, not so much.

It won't kill you. It has to meet pretty strict federal and state guidelines, but yeah, not a lot of fiber, lots of carbs. Lots of mystery meat. It's all about the caloric intake, regardless of how they get there.

a

If you're white, get used to killing pedophiles and hating the jews

Is it really so bad?

Dont take anything from anyone, one chocolate bar might cost you your asshole in the long run

IF YOU DROP THE SOAP, LET THAT SHIT SLIDE

This. If you’re white make sure you know your place or you won’t survive.

Don’t be Peter gazing

Is the drop the soap meme true? I reckon I could pick it up before someone penetrated me.

yeah i did a few months in an english prison on a DUI, its not as bad as people make out, just be nice, join a couple of clubs, be polite to guards and other inmates, just dont fuck around on supervised community outings, cant stress that enough, one lad with us got a day of kitchen work for sneaking off

it's always open season on chomos

How the fuck you going to get a dui in England call a trolley man

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the fuck? matthew brodrick served less time and he murdered two people.

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...

Not in jail the jail I was in. There were single shower stalls. But I did hear about fags getting fucked in shared cells.

MInd your own business.
Don't gamble if you can't pay if you lose.
Don't be afraid to stand up for yourself, even if it means getting your ass beat.
This might be California exclusive, but don't call anyone a "bitch", its an instant challenge to fight.

>don't walk around like a wounded impala staring at the floor like a scared pussy
>don't put on a tough guy act or be a dick
>if you get jumped (which you probably won't if you follow 1 and 2) fight back
>if anyone comes up to you on your first day and tells you you owe them something for some bullshit reason tell them to go fuck themselves and fight back if you catch a beating for it (which it probably won't)
That's literally it. Unless it's an American prison, in which case from what I've heard it's pretty much just
>get raped

I have a friend I grew up with doing life in prison with no parole. Maximum security. He’s locked up 23 hrs a day. I go visit him about once a year or so. He says it’s hell of course but not as bad as the movies. He’s in charge of cleaning the gym area so he gets extra time there. He’s been jumped by Mexicans and locked up in solitary for drugs. They have tablets now too but very regulated. I doubt he has access to Yea Forums lol.

In jail its pretty easy to get by with small talk and keeping to yourself. You don't really want to engage anyone past trivial shit. If you are one of those people that have to socialize and get involved in card games/Dominos just remember some people may have a couple screws loose. I just spent my time reading and only made small talk at meals and got by just fine other than being labeled as that guy who reads a lot.
If you are going in on a sex offense you are fucked if they don't put you in the mental/sex offender ward. Paper checks are a common thing in jail (the paperwork that explains why you are in jail) and you will be attacked by anyone that's looking at hard time just to build his cred unless you can find someone to pay off to protect you, and even then you are probably being scammed. Some dudes will tell you straight either money goes on their books or you are going to end up in the infirmary. Saw some dude pay off two guys to keep him safe in county for sleeping with a fourteen year old girl at 25. Think he had some prison time he was heading for.

What is he in there for?

Google him if you're not familiar with the name.

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Murder. Pretty fucked up story actually. I can find a news article about it if interested

There is a difference between jail and prison ?!?!?!
I always thought were the same,just different names.Please explain(european here).

Just watch Porridge, it's basically like that. Is it?

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fuck that rat cock sucka

Dont piss off the corrective officers stay the fuck off their radar. The convicts treat you like a human(for the most part unless you are an unlucky bitch) the COs treat you like you are the niggerest nigger whos every negative stereotype of niggers and it dont matter what your charge is or how fair your skin is.
Real talk been to jail for a week, was told to shut up in the friendliest way my entire life by an inmate. Shared food and utilities got food and utilities. My first room the 24 hour lockdown was without toliet paper the co was a cunt decided he didnt like me and told me to wipe my ass with whatever I could find.(which ended up being my sock.) Right after i wiped my ass with my sock the guy in the cell next to me offered me toliet paper.....if I waited another 5 mins I woulda had tp for my bungholw at that moment

I spent 5 years in jail/state prison for coke/drug charges
AMA

Jail is where they hold you for short term shit and sentencing. Usually group housing in wards of 30-40 depending on where you are (some are much larger) which means you can have people in doing time that have ten days I've one minor shit with some dude waiting sentencing on serious fucking shit, which means you keep to your fucking self and don't cause waves as you might piss off a guy that could be looking at twenty years. It's a fairly lax environment where you just watch tv/read/cards Dominos. Prison is for people doing more than two years time. Jail is prison lite, or prisons waiting room.

Im interested pls

Alright thank you,always thought they were the same

I agree with this comment and have been to county. Open question I could probably google, isent the cutoff for prison a year and that’s why sometimes you hear a judge sentence somebody with “a year and a day.” ?

anyone ever watch after prison show on youtube? thoughts?

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A friend told me he almost got beat up because he said "Happy Christmas" to some guy he didn't know well enough.
Apparently they have a rule that you shouldn't wish a "happy" Christmas to other inmates because they know they can never be happy while away from their families during the holidays.
Maybe it's just a Canadian thing, I never heard this in tv/movies or anything else.

I think you are right. I thought it was two years but anything over a year sounds like prison time.

Yeah I’m interested

This

This has caused me a lot of pain. Sometimes just don't make eye contact if you know you won't win the fight.

Here you go
twincities.com/2009/05/14/sontoya-convicted-of-both-murder-counts-in-st-paul-womans-death/

Did they have reddit in there?

don't appear new, and if you are new a really good tip is to just walk the track in the yard until something otherwise happens where you can no longer do that
people will come to you, you do not go to them
i don't care how strong you might be and perhaps you want to show off on the bench or whatever else, you walk that track until you have a reason to stop

and don't mean-mug people
you're just another guy

What a sick fuck

Did you get raped

wew

dont accept shit for free

Nope
Nope

Stand up straight with your shoulders back
Treat yourself like someone you are responsible for helping
Make friends with people who want the best for you
Compare yourself to who you were yesterday, not to who someone else is today
Do not let your children do anything that makes you dislike them
Set your house in perfect order before you criticize the world
Pursue what is meaningful (not what is expedient)
Tell the truth – or, at least, don't lie
Assume that the person you are listening to might know something you don't
Be precise in your speech
Do not bother children when they are skateboarding
Pet a cat when you encounter one on the street

Why would you visit him

why can't you lift? social dynamics of waiting for a bench, or what?
I'd hate it if I was in prison and couldn't even read and get yoked (food aside)

The only good post so far. That's not even a California thing, it happens here too (Texas), if you call someone a bitch you'd better be ready to box

Never accept something another inmate gives you.

Farmington here. I remember this, based small world

Wait, are you frank?

>social dynamics of waiting for a bench
this
you get to the bench first and someone might take it as something else, and the same for getting there first and lifting which might be seen as showing off
if you're clearly a fit guy people will notice
just walk the track, you have plenty of time

Not him but thanks for sharing. It was interesting in a messy and unconventional way. If you're Frank Rodriguez that was a BASED act in front of the court house.

>I go visit him about once a year or so.

Did he tell you anything extra about the case? Does he still maintain his innocence even after these years?

He fisted a girl to death? How the fuck does that happen?

I’ve know him since we were kids. We were close. He was always kinda crazy but never thought he was capable of that. Idk I can’t give a clear answer to that..

No but I know him as well. We all grew up together. I also knew the girl.

What’d you do

Lol

She was tiny. He was a dumb fuck for trying. They were both super drunk too.

Shiv to the throat/eyes, dummy.

I've been to jail for 2 days on a DUI and it was the saddest place I've ever been, but everybody was friendly and shared stuff for the most part, especially fellow whites. Even in prison I suspect it's similar. From what I've seen in prison docs most of the trouble surrounds "stores" (people buying and selling items). Buy your own stuff with money sent from your parents and otherwise spend your time reading and playing games WITHOUT gambling and you're safe.

Reddit

This makes sense since most white people dont go to jail, too busy being successful and contributing to society. Jail is like home for niggers lol.

I went to jail once for le weed, but I was only in for 4 days. I could instantly tell as a white man that i was better than everyone in there.

Lol no I’m not Frank but I know him too. Honestly we’ve never talked about the case. He just wants to hear about life outside. What’s going on, etc.
It’s just a mess of a story. He’s guilty of a very stupid act even tho it wasn’t intentional

Git gud at spades/euchre/chess/crying silently

my childhood friend is in prison for ever too for murders. we play chess over phone sometimes.

I had a concealed weapons permit. One day we were partying in a hotel room in Miami Beach when one of my best friends had the bright idea to put our money together so we can buy a bunch of coke. It was like 15 of us, all very well off for how young we were. He volunteered to go drive to pick it up. We had enough money for roughly an ounce of coke. When I got back to Miami Beach and was pulling up to valet my car was surrounded and I had my pistol. And the ounce in my pockets and was arrested for drug trafficking and possession of a weapon during commission of a felony. My friend had set me up. I found out later he was basically an informant, and had gotten in trouble for domestic violence and was facing a long time in prison due to the fact that he was on probation and on his second strike (at 20 years old, he had been on felony probation since he was 14).
Shit sucked ass. If any of you browse Yea Forums my cousin also used to post there in /box/ he has spent quite a while in jail too. We all grew up fucking raiding shit on Yea Forums when we were edgy teens.

Not to always be able to perform tracheotomy on a fellow inmate if he starts choking for some reason?

Pretty kino

That definitely wasn’t an accident. The dudes a sicko

You must be old as shit weeds been decriminalized forever now

It was back in 01, and I had over half an ounce.

I never watched them but I watch Lockdown23and1 pretty regularly.

LMAO bro is your cousin convictanon? The one beating fucks up with a bat? I remember him from /box/, what happened to him?

all i want to do is read. take courses. solitary, simple pursuits. would i be able to in prison.

Nice. You use the JPay app? That’s a good idea

what did frank do

Ok, guys, explain this soap thing. Once and for all, somebody who actually has been in prison/jail, please.

Do they just anally rape you if you drop it?

This. You can also crouch instead of bending. Do they hold you and rape you?

yeah dude they get themselves hard and fuck you in the seconds it takes to pick up a bar of soap. it's more about the principle of the matter than anything. they see it as an annoying duty

Ha no I didn't know this one. We speak once a month now maybe. It was a high profile case in canada until recently so he was locked 23hrs a day.

There was a guy at my prison that everyone called Mother Dear. Mother Dear would offer you food from the commissary and then the next day he would demand the food back x5 which nobody could possibly afford. When you couldn't pay back the debt, he would knock you out and he would rape you.

He was an amazing fighter too, he had this weird way of catching punches and coming back at you with brutal counter punches so if you tried to fight him he would just knock you out and rape you anyways. He was a good friend.

Yea man that’s my cousin. He moved out of his neighborhood, and stopped drinking alcohol and doing cocaine everyday , and doesn’t smoke weed or do MDMA as much anymore (he still parties once in a while though). He doesn’t post on Yea Forums anymore either. He might lurk here and there but he is really trying to leave that part of his life behind. There was like a two year period of his life that he was a road rage incident away from spending a long time in prison. He has a new girlfriend and is focusing a lot on himself right now. He goes to anger management classes, and his business is doing very well. He lives with my uncle and his other brother now. When his younger brother left to the navy, it coincided with his last arrest and he missed his graduation because he was in jail and that made him clean up. His navy brother post on /box/ still though.

Reminds me of the guy from Florida that ripped his gf’s uterus out of her pussy because she said her ex’s name during sex

did you know the woman who as killed?

Read the article

Sounds straight out of a movie but ok

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But in all honesty, he’s never done state prison time just extended periods of his life in county jail. I’m more of a convict than he is haha, but I do not have his temper, nor his ability to senselessly beat the shit out of people.

No....it's a bunch of BS. 98% of homosexuality in jail/prison is consensual. Only guys who make themselves look like complete bitches get raped.

Howdo you play chess over the phone.sounds fun

>He just wants to hear about life outside. What’s going on, etc.

Not surprised. Having your entire life taken away in your early 30s must be hell. Also, how much does he know about the outside world? You know, fresh news about the world's issues, new trends in various fields, technology development as far as it affects everyday life etc.

> He’s guilty of a very stupid act even tho it wasn’t intentional

Be honest: do you think he deserved the sentence? (I read that you think he's guilty, but was "life in prison without parole" a justified sentence in your opinion?)

as soon as you go in fuck up the biggest black guy in there. then you will become the leader of the prison.

annoying when these cunts dress up as soldiers

Damn, that's good to hear he chilled out and getting back on the straight and narrow. Me and some other /box/ posters wondered if he was up in jail again, some of us were willing to put some money on his books and keeping him sorted up in there haha. Hopefully he keeps doing good

Not the same case as the user i replied to

Protip: Don't do this

A day of work for sneaking off sounds disproportionately lax.

Alright House

You ever run into your friend again? Would probably be hard not to want to fuck him up

Depends on the jail.
Jail in my hometown got the prisoners sonic cheeseburger meals.

>Donaldson considered himself a Quaker and took part in the Langley Hill Monthly Meeting, where he was part of a group influenced by "a series of pray-ins at the White House sponsored by the Community for Creative Non-Violence (CCNV)" who felt a call to "hold a memorial meeting for worship at the White House to commemorate the nuclear bombing of Nagasaki [on its 28th anniversary] and for the victims of all wars and violence" on August 9, 1973. The protesters were arrested for unlawful entry and released on bail except for Donaldson, who refused and spent the night in the D.C. jail before being released by a judge the next morning. On August 14 Donaldson was one of 66 demonstrators who took part in a pray-in at the White House protesting the bombing of Cambodia, where he was again arrested.Donaldson again refused to post bail he explained:

>I also was protesting against the bail system, under which the privileged, the white, the middle class escape the pre-trial confinements which go automatically to the poor and black. In good conscience I could not take advantage of the privileges available to me.

>Even in jail, however, I could not escape those privileges. I was sent directly to cell block four, third floor — the privileged area where I could and did play chess with Gordon Liddy, where one-man rooms for 45 respectable prisoners were never locked.

>That night, Donaldson was lured into a cell by a prisoner who claimed that he and his friends wanted to 'discuss pacifism' with him in their cells. He was then anally and orally raped dozens of times by an estimated 45 male inmates. He suffered additional abuse a second night before he escaped from his tormentors (two of whom were pimping him to the others for cigarettes) and collapsed, sobbing, at the cell block gate where guards retrieved him. After a midnight examination at D.C. General Hospital (during which he remained handcuffed) he was returned to the jail hospital, untreated either for physical injury.

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yeah i know but i figured it's a pretty small world when you get down to it

my friend is very good at chess so he plays in his head. Me I have a board and do the moves he tells me. here's how it works en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Algebraic_notation_(chess). I always sucked at it but it gives us something to do while we do the small talk.

Jail is just police lockup, prison is for convicted felons. Most people aren't jailed for anywhere near that long, unless they're awaiting trial.

To answer OP, don't fuckin take someone's turn on the phone. Had some bikie faggot try jumping me in my cell over that shit.