Just got done marathoning this. Um, that's gonna be a yikes from me

Quick Rundown on Louis Cachet

>Varg Vikernes. (Birth name was unironically Christian Vikernes.)
>Raised in Iraq in the 80s because his family illegally oversaw Chemical Weapons Research for Saddam Hussein during the Iraq-Iran War; Varg personally met Saddam Hussein and said he was a role model growing up
>Joined the larp scene in Norway as a teenager
>killed his best friend because he looked at him wrong.
>burned churches and UNESCO monuments
>gets sentenced to lul norway prison for like 14 years
>meanwhile in America he would have gotten death penalty
>becomes a nazi in prison
>attempts to break out of prison, and robs a car at gun point
>gets caught and sent back to prison, only gets slap on the wrist
>gets out of prison
>Abandons his 13 year old daughter he fathered in a degenerate black metal party. Doesn't even have contact with her, or attempts to have contact with her. Literally caused a single mother
>abandoned by all family, and friends.
>literally marries a diagnosed autist in France
>Takes her last name, and moves to a cuckshed in the middle of nowhere in France. Now legally known as "Louis Cachet"
>Refuses to learn his host country's language, instead abusing their immigration laws. He can't even talk to his wife, outside of some broken English phrases she was forced to learn
>Literally lives off welfare, and has 5+ little baby money makers to keep the flow coming in
>Makes shitty youtube videos about how Italians are negroid, and why autism is genetically superior or why blue eyes makes me not go blind in the snow
>worshiped by "le deus vult" magapede larpers on 4chins for some unknown reason
>doesn't even make music anymore because he has to live in a hut and pretend its -3000 BCE to feel like a man
>no accepting the fact he is a complete loser, who knows nothing, and is a maniac LITERAL MURDERER WHO STILL SAYS HE DID THE RIGHT THING BY KILLING HIS BEST FRIEND

As a standalone film without getting into the truth and the actual people involved, it's ok. It'll hold your interest for the runtime but it is not some masterpiece, as it really seems to lose its focus and tone and tries too hard to lead the story down one linear path.

What kind of queer likes their cornflakes soft?

Very mediocre. I say don't bother.

Fenriz. Listening to Under a Funeral Moon and Transylvanian Hunger just haven't been the same since I learned he likes to wait for his cereal to become a soggy mush in a bowl of milk.

Anyone have a putlocker link?

where do you get your information, are you a troll!?

>LITERAL MURDERER WHO STILL SAYS HE DID THE RIGHT THING BY KILLING HIS BEST FRIEND
Even tho Varg is a douchebag he must have done something right by killing him because no one gave a shit afterwards and alot of Oysteins "friends" were happy he was gone. Its hard to find any reputable black metal musicians who have anything good to say about Oystein or Varg for that matter other than they made good music.

O'Boy or cheap beer, depending on if you side with Varg or Euronymous.

I dropped him after learning about that. True Norwegian black metal and crispy corn flakes go hand in hand.

Bleach.

The stabbing scene was quite possibly the cringiest thing I've seen. Not even just because of the milk scene
>Varg stabs Euro several times
>Euro just seems annoyed by being stabbed and says "just get out of here!"

Exactly. Varg likes his cornflakes like he likes his churches: crispy.

>what is adrenaline

literal brainlet if you think people die fast from anything but direct damage to the brain

we're resilient fuckers, much more resilient than most people would think or believe

Ur dum

no u

When comes out vinyl?

fucking poser, true fags catch themselves the tape

I've never met a metal fan who wasn't a piece of shit.

>ywn go into Hevelte to try and score some rare black metal demo tapes and have Euronymous refuse to sell you anything and call you a faggot not worthy of his music
It's just not fair.

Varg never stops being a larping poser

I’m not a metal fan by any means, I like house/techno, but go outside more.
Now I haven’t met a BLACK Metal fan who wasn’t a completely autisct LARPer. Those guys are fucking cringeworthy.
Serious question: we all know what’s wrong with Louis, but what the fuck is wrong with his followers? Have you seen the comment section on his YouTube videos? They are like a fucking cult.

I've never met a person that wasnt a piece of shit

>all these burgers talking shit about Varg
Varg is a fucking genius who defended himself and defended his people against the disaster that is Christianity.

>his people

The french?

No the Vikings and Odin.

I feel it can go both ways. Some metalheads like to talk about all the cool bands and shows they've seen and the subgenres and list of obscure bands seem endless to discover, while other people just seem like gigantic gatekeeping faggots and judge everything on their own perceived rating system on what is metal or trve. Anyone who listens and likes black metal and takes it completely seriously and at face value usually falls into the latter, especially if they don't see how ridiculous it all is to anyone who isn't them.

>Now I haven’t met a BLACK Metal fan who wasn’t a completely autisct LARPer. Those guys are fucking cringeworthy.

While this is true it applies to all metal fans, not just black metal. It's one thing to like some Metallica or Black Sabbath songs, but if you actually like the genre as a whole and listen to playlists that are majority metal music you're a cringey weak brainlet nerd incel who probably posts on pol.

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he's a literal LARPer and i hate him, but one of the few more or less positive things you can say about him is that he's not a poser, in any meaning of the word

I think the guy accompanying him was legit retarded and that's why he was acquitted. Apparently he also didn't know what was gonna happen. Might be wrong on this tough.

watch the movie again Varg was a poser

>Hey man, get in the car, you're driving me to Oslo
>Varg, it's like 2 in the morning and that's a long drive. What are we going for?
>I want to sign the contract Oystein sent me
>Can't you just mail it back to him?
>No, I need to go there right now and do it in person
>Oh, ok

>the film is 100% accurate

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>Thinking the movie was anything other than a Varg hitpiece because he made the director so assdamaged when he refused the rights to having Burzum music and told them all to fuck off

>Watch the movie that went out of its way to shit on him.

>your brain on varg

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I’ve met my fair share of gate keeping fags in many genres. Metal is he worst when it comes to this, and Black Metal fans are the absolute cream of the crop when it comes to being gigantic gate keeping faggots. It’s ammusing to see a bunch of guys LARPing as corpses and satanist and some intellectuals think anyone takes them seriously. Even the most flamboyant cokeheaded faggots wearing fuzzy boots and women’s clothing I’ve met at raves and festivals are less cringeworthy than those fuckers.
>you can’t listen to my music if you’re a poser only the most hardcore of the hardcore can listen to muh black metal
But as I said, the metal heads I’ve met IRL , for the most part, aren’t like this. A lot of them are actually really talented musicians too.

>If you don't agree with a shitty movie you're a Varg cultist
Uh, yikes!

no, you're stupid enough to believe the movie people were dumb enough to even ask varg for the rights of his music. everyone else, sure, but not count cunt himself

>movie points out several times how incredible his music was and how musically talented he was
>b-but muh... muh Varg hitpiece by the kikes?
LMAO back to youtube, posers.

The only people who get so worked up about Louis portrayal in this movie are Vargies though.

>Make a movie that revolves around a genre of music and have an integral character be one of the biggest acts to come from it
>Not even entertain the idea of having your PR team reach out to the guy to see about including some of his music
Come on now

Nice YouTube comment, fag

These fuckers are annoying as hell.

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Burzum is the band that put Euro/Helvete on the map. Varg burned churches and killed a guy. I don't even like black metal, but Varg was no poser.

Why wouldn't they? They have scenes where Euro listens to "Varg's music" but it's just generic heavy metal.

they knew their movie would paint varg in the bad light he deserves, and they were probably familiar enough with his whole story to know that asking him wouldn't make any sense. i mean it's enough to watch some of his videos and you know he'd never give permission to anything like that.

This. Metal fans irl are usually pretty decent people albeit a bit cringy if they can't live down their hobby. I especially like going to shows and talking to people there and I'm usually really antisocial. The musicians are also usually really nice and I never had a bad experience with anyone in that regards.

Metal fans on the internet are the biggest faggots around tough. My favorite experience was reading comments about some one-man band that sold out because he released an album on bandcamp. His album cost 5$ (with shipping) on tapes. He never does shows and he has like 100 likes on facebook. But apparently he wasn't trve enough.

I mean Varg is in no way shape or form a good guy worthy of all the fandom he gets from his youtube channel. I agree with you though in that just seeing how he is that he'd never sign on or give his blessing (or his music) to anything like this, especially anything that isn't 100% positively slanted towards his side of the story. It's actually beneficial for him to play this out like he has, as the movie paints him a certain way while still saying his music was good and influential, while not including it at all so people unfamiliar with Burzum would seek it out to see what it's about. It's actually a win-win for him, which is crazy.

No, only once when he was signing on Euro's record label.
>Calls people posers over a shitty movie
CRINGE!

>fuck politics
>fuck elitism
>fuck the past
>focus only on good music

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varg was no different than from the people he criticizes nowadays
and now his daughter (who grew up without a father) fucks blacks.

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A guy I went to school with is in this film, according to Imdb he plays Gylve 'Fenriz' Nagell.
Can he actually act?

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> gets elected on a municipal position against his will

He's playing best boy, see

did you have sex with everyone you ever were in a picture with?

Varg does license his music for movies. Maybe he knew this would actually be fucking terrible.

like, what?

and yes, he knew it would be fucking terrible. he killed his friend, and to this day insists on it being self defence. you can't make a movie about varg vikernes and paint him in a positive light, without lying.

>like, what?
Gummo, also licensed his music to Gucci Mane and Kanye West.

WHEN ITS COOOOOLLLLDDDDDD
AND WHEN ITS DAAAAAARRRRKKKKK

>His "campaign" consisted of posting signs of him holding his cat with the caption "Please Don't Vote For Me".

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Yeah is he actually any good at playing him though?

To be fair, the movie states, in writing, "Based on truth, lies and what actually happened." It doesn't say it's an exact recreation of events.

even if that were true, why wouldn't he. it means money. more money to live in the woods, like a rat. and it has nothing to do with him, personally.

There was a Burzum song in Gummo? I've been meaning to watch it but haven't gotten around to it.

You consider watching one movie a marathon?

Varg played in a death metal band called old funeral before he met euronymous. That band went on to become the band immortal. The movie was wildly inaccurate. Stop shilling this shit

To be fair the black metal people all hate each other.

This, that's how he knew Abbath and Demonaz prior to ever going to Oslo and meeting up with Euronymous

To be fair the black metal people also hate themselves too

It's a rock biopic based on an already suspect book and what a bunch of tryhard teenagers who don't like eachother say or don't say happened 25 years ago.
People should have known it was not going to be a complete recreation without having to put it in text on the poster and in the opening. No version of this would be completely accurate, and not just because between the two main players one person is a pathological liar and narcissist and the other is dead.

No youre thinking of euronymous, dead killed himself

Nattramn biopic when?

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>Literally lives off welfare
He claims some rich fan in Norway left him a bunch of money in her will because she had no family. He also sells his DnD rip off books but probably doesn't make much money from that.

>doesn't even make music anymore
He records all the music in his videos. Burzum has released several albums since he's been out of jail.

I feel a little bad for Fenriz and all the other guys that just want to move on. They're all in their fucking 40s and 50s, and they're still best known for shit they did in their teens. Meanwhile Varg just loves stirring shit up to get a bigger audience.

He said Burzum is officially over as of 2016

she literally does though, irregardless of that image

Yes and he released music before that

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DUDE THREE NOTES FOR 25 MINUTES LMAO
youtube.com/watch?v=cWKtrze79Ys

so fucking what? ofc it requires not much skill to produce technically , but the right composition is still an important factor. it's simple, ambient music, with a lot of power. i love it.

>I want there to be a movie with literally zero commercial appeal
You're a fucking retard

S E E T H I N G

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>Ywn get to go to helvete and make fun of Euronymous for being 5'6 and watch him cry because all his tall norwegian friends all laughed at him

but it's basically all true. except that he wasn't really raised in Iraq, he just spent a year in school there.

Do hot blonde girls really like gothic metal heads in all black and with fake spiked leather jackets and black cargo pants with chains?

cheeky

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Think he officially ended Burzum in 2018

I wanna watch it, but I feel like it's gonna be real bad.

Absolutely not. The girlfriend character was completely made up for the movie, and Varg was fugging pusy from him going to danceclubs and picking up club sluts

You left out the part where he was originally from rich parents who were engineers for oil companies and he already had it made in the shade because they were so rich and has zero need for welfare. And then he married Marie who was even richer and grew up in a fucking castle, owns property all over the limousin region. And the part where he stockpilied weapons and explosives his friend and him stole from the armory when they were teenagers because they wanted to cold war to break out into ww3 and literally everyone but oystein was super nationalistic as well, and only now try to hide that. Or that he went through multiple psychological evaluations in prison and they all said he was perfectly sane. And that he isnt a mullatto like 56% of Americans and they resent him for pointing that out. Or that Euronymous wasnt his friend and was a "business partner" who closed his shop after Varg got him a bunch of publicity for burning churches because he was so retarded.

Practical gore effects were decent but everything else was boringly adequate or bad. No idea who this film is really for---it's too grisly for the mainstream, it's too truncated for anyone actually interested in the criminal aspect of the story and the film does not give the musical achievements of the band any more screen time outside of one concert scene and a brief comment about the Kerrang article.

Varg was rich as fuck. He had a fucking manservant

Not to mention there were visits from hot blonde norwegian women all the time, sometimes groups of them, while he was in prison.

It's honestly not that bad of a movie on its own. The acting is serviceable, camera work is good, the dialogue works. Plus there's tiddies.

Varg fucking all those sluts in the movie was great, Euronymous REEEEEing about it was hilarious.

Aight, gonna watch it tomorrow. I like BLACK metal and I know somewhat of the history about it. Might be a good watch, just like the Columbine movies.

That was probably the only accurate thing about it lmao

little 5'6 euronymous spazing out because he only has a dildo for himself

Varg was a chad. Euro was a virgin that wanted to be chad. But Euro was kvlt. Varg lacked the inner kvlt.

Euro's gf's tits are extremely disappointing. You could lay a cassette tape down flat between those sad bags of sand.

>no, stay. take your clothes off.
>...are you fucking deaf?
Varg confirmed for Chad.

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weren't his parents racist as fuck too? Like, hitler memorabilia tier.

Nah they were boomers, but according to Varg his mother hated greeks more than Iranians because the former sexually harrassed her when she visited their country. And if I remember correctly they also threw out all of vargs "nazi" stuff after he was arrested, Ie flags, helmets, weapons etc

Varg:
>in August 1993 he was about to go to prison for four months, after being convicted for injuring two people with a broken bottle, because they had "looked at his girlfriend" at a bus-stop.

also Varg:
>Euronymous never had a girlfriend, that was made up lol he was a closet faget and a pussy please SMASH that Like button and don't forget to subscribe!

Chad as he was you shouldn't really believe what he says about these people.

That cassette tape? Hordanes land