>Saruman: "He is gathering all equity to him. Very soon he will adjust a mutual fund-portfolio great enough to match the underlying securities of Middle-Earth."
>Gandalf: "You know this? How?"
>Saruman: "I have seen it."
[Gandalf and Saruman enter another chamber. Upon a plinth sits an object covered in dark cloth]
>Gandalf: "Algorithmic trading is a dangerous tool, Saruman."
>Saruman: "Why? Why should we fear to use it?"
Saruman: "He is gathering all equity to him...
Robert Russell
Other urls found in this thread:
bloomberg.com
investopedia.com
twitter.com
Gabriel Perry
bump
love this threads
Tyler Jones
If Saruman stayed true to his mission, what would have happened?
Ryder Perry
bump
Blake Gomez
>tfw too brainlet to contribute to these threads so I just post "And my TAX!"
Elijah Martinez
Kek. Don’t feel bad, that’s a pretty good line
Owen Ross
>tfw taxposting is too intelligent and high brow for Yea Forums who would rather post sneed for the 1,000th time and laugh their asses off at that instead
Ian Adams
formerly chuck’s
Lincoln Smith
>We suffer the hardships of audits for such a small tax return. such a little return.
Gabriel White
Is it by design that I have no idea how banking works or I am just a brainlet? Where does one begin their journey to learn all of it?
Caleb Turner
No one laughs at Sneed, I don't even think that the Sneedposters do at this point.
Chase Perez
It’s part of the recruitment process. Gotta post sneed 100 times before you can post anything else.
Lucas Scott
Gondor calls for a bailout!
Jeremiah Rodriguez
>he doesn’t know about the tax policy in Springfield and its effects on feed and seed stores
Wew
Based
Ian Ortiz
Blame the cucktholics. Decided hundreds of years ago that only Jews should have a monopoly on it.
Zachary Gonzalez
Where was Gondor when the Westfold foreclosed?
Dylan Martin
DIVEST YOU FOOLS
Dominic Harris
>You fool, no firm can short me.”
Jeremiah Collins
>those assets had been liquidated
Levi Bennett
the books are comfy, under a surplus wool blanket and with a mug of tea. the silmarillion is autism. if dward fortress entices you then you’ll like it.
Jose King
>DEBT!!!
Benjamin Rogers
They have been recapitalized
Sebastian Williams
>There is only one Majority Shareholder, and he does not share control.
Oliver Russell
Economics is literally just fairy dust. Looking at it too hard makes it go away.
Jose Mitchell
>Elrond: I was there the day the strength of tax free savings accounts failed.
< Return to flashback, Elrond and Isildur on the slopes of Mount Doom Bank of Mordor >
>Elrond: Isildur hurry. Follow me.
Elrond: < voice over > I led Isildur into the lobby of Mount Doom Bank, where the tax free savings account was forged, the one place it could be invested into a hedged ETF portfolio or a bank dividends portfolio
>Elrond: Cast it into the aggressive portfolios!
< Isildur looks at the TFSA account. It whispers to him >
>Elrond: INVEST IT!
>Isildur: No.
Juan Scott
>TAX-ES?
>DECLARE 'EM, FILE 'EM, PAY 'EM WHEN THEY'RE DUE?
Camden Fisher
And my escrow!
Aaron Nguyen
>The Ents cannot hold back this economic bubble. We must weather such recessions as we have always done.
>How can that be your decision?!
>This is not our portfolio.
>But you’re part of this equity! Aren’t you?!
Julian Lopez
>“In the place of the bonds you would have gold! Not a bubble but bright and beautiful as the dawn! Rates as solid as the foundations of the Earth! All shall invest and never despair!”
Christian Lee
are the Undying Lands a tax haven?
Thomas Anderson
Florida.
All the old fuckers retire there and short cheap agricultural workers want to smuggle themselves into it.
Thomas Baker
Do all these economy terms add up or are they just buzz words?
Dominic Sanders
>Love taxposting
>too dumb to contribute
It's not fair, but atleast get great keks out of it
Jace Russell
they are stock market terms and yes, they add up
Alexander Butler
>I was there, Gandalf. I was there the day that the shares of Men lost value.
Thomas Ross
>We're not from the bank! We're from a credit union!
>Credit unions?! Never heard of a credit union before! Sounds like jewish mischief to me!
>THEY COME WITH FINES
>THEY COME WITH TAXES
>GLOBAL BANKERS TAKING EARNINGS
>LAWYERS AND USURERS
>CURSE THEM
Luke Hernandez
>I wish the credit default swap had never come to me. I wish triple B mortgage bonds had never been invented.
Levi Barnes
>What about a bailout?
You've already had it.
>We've had one yes, what about a second bailout?
Kayden Ortiz
>NO MAN CAN DEFAULT ON MY LOAN
Carson Flores
Jackson Smith
>AUDITS! 4 AUDITS!
Liam Gonzalez
Gold
Ayden Hernandez
>"and so it begins"
>"the great bear run of our time"
Josiah Lee
Based and Greekpilled
Jack Edwards
A Wizard never sells low. Nor does he buy high.
He invests precisely when he means to
Elijah Ross
*hits pipe*
Is paying taxes the ultimate form of cuckoldry? Afterall, by paying taxes you are giving the State funds that will often be spent in projects that will not personally benefit you at all, and in fact incompetent managing of public finances means that even a person that consistently pays all of his taxes might find that the roads near his home are not paved, or that State-financed law inforcement is incapable of guaranteeing his personal safety.
Not only that, much of those taxes will inevitably end up going to welfare policies, meaning that your money will be used to that finance the lifestyle of women who benefit nothing to society; because these have no need to find a husband to provide for them, they tend to lead lives full of casual sex and thus will often be fucking other men. In other words you are paying for women to have sex with men that aren't you.
Just think about it logically.
Daniel Evans
I wish tax posting had never come to Yea Forums. I wish summer had never happened.
>So do all who lurk such threads but that is not for them to decide. All you have to decide is what to do with the (you)s that are given to you.
Angel King
>"I cannot raise the capital, you'll have to loan me!"
Michael Adams
I don't understand half of it and it's still hilarious
Lucas Ortiz
>Aragorn. Don't tell the investors.
Brody Thompson
>What is this new tariff?
Samuel Bennett
>>Whats this? A ranger caught embezzling kingsfoil?
Chase Hill
Finance is brainlet healing crystal shit so don't feel too bad.
Juan Hill
>I would have gone with you to the end
>to the very pages of Chapter 11 bankruptcy
Aaron Baker
>What can men do against such reckless rates?
Samuel Allen
>They have taken the office and the 2nd condo.
>We have blocked their calls but cannot hide from them for long.
>The accountant shakes, debts, debts in red.
>We cannot pay, an investor moves in the dark.
>We cannot pay. They are coming.
Henry James
>hi if you give me money i'll hold onto it to keep it safe
>hi other person do you need money? Have some and pay me back with 5% interest
>hi you want your money? Here you go and have .5% interest in exchange for letting me loan you money
Everything else is an extension of this designed to mitigate the risks of such an operation.
Jaxson Butler
>higher interest higher rates thats what bilbo baggins hates!
Kayden Russell
fucking lol
Angel James
Just tell them they'll get to go to college for free, they'll believe it
Isaiah Peterson
possibly the best post in the thread
Mason Evans
Joshua Harris
>No parent should have to claim their 23 year old son as a dependent.
Logan Gomez
Jayden Bennett
THE BELL OF THE NYSE SHALL SOUND BEFORE CLOSING, ONE LAST TIME
Jacob Davis
>Mr Frodo, I don't trust that Gollum. You can't claim your Annual Investment Allowance in full against non integral features or plant which won't be remaining in the business for more than one financial year
Cameron Turner
Economics as a whole is just traffic laws with money instead of cars.
Mason Stewart
>My dear Rockefellers and Rothschilds, Oppenheims and Wallenbergs, Bettencourts, Schwarzmen, Soros, Jack Ma's, Sachs and Goldman.
>Goldmen!
>Today is my one hundred and eleventh investor meeting! Alas, eleventy-one fiscal quarters is far too short a time to climb the corporate ladder among such excellent and admirable capitalists. I don't own half of your businesses half as well as I should like, and I own less than half of your businesses half as well as you deserve.
>I regret to announce, this is the end. I am liquidating my assets now. I bid you all a very fond farewell.
>I suppose you think that was terribly clever.
>Come on Gandalf! Did you see their share prices as the market closed?
Ryder Martinez
Yes it's just that
Evan Stewart
>who in this rabble has turnover high enough that their corporation tax is due in quarterly installments?
Joshua Rodriguez
>What about their reserve lines of credit? They don't need those
Sebastian Richardson
>I made a promise, Mr. Frodo.. "Don't you leave him, Samwise Gamgee, for then he cannot deduct the trip as a company expense" .. and I don't mean to.. I don't mean to.
Noah Sanchez
>Not idly does the operating income of Lorien fall.
>They may yet be profitable!
>Less than a fiscal quarter ahead of us, come!
Ryan Robinson
>Accounts shall be shaken, fonds be splintered,
>a bear-day, a red day, ere the sun rises!
>Buy now, Buy now! Buy to Gondor!
>DEEEEEBT
Gavin Cox
Gavin Powell
One does not simply make money in a market that is just HFT algorithms trading with other HFT algorithms.
Easton Green
>Sounds like jewish mischief to me!
kekkkked
AND checked
James Gutierrez
>Do you know how Mordor-Orcs Holdings first came into being? They were Elven Insurance Bank once, taken in a leveraged buyout. Trademarks's sold and made public…
>… a ruined and terrible form of asset management. And now… perfected: my subsidiary Uruk-hai LLC.
>Whom do you serve?
>Saruman Acquisitions Group!
Lincoln White
Does anyone have the "Po-ta-to" one with Sam talking about taxes
Mason Morris
I have this:
>What we need is a few good equity markets.
>What's equity precious? What's equity eyy?
>Equity-mark-et! Buy em, trade em, stick em the bank! Lovely big new public stocks with a nice piece of IPO.
>Pfppfp!
>Even you couldn't say no to that!
>Oh yes we could! Spoiling nice privatization...Give it to us, assimilated, and demutualized, you keep nasty stocks!
Adam Myers
the one I remembered was sam to gollum:
>TA-XES
>Pay them, file them, return them
or so
Elijah Fisher
>Lembas! Elvish crypto-currency. One small coin is enough to fill the wallet of a grown man.
Anthony Price
>who do you serve?
SHE-KEL-BERG
Joseph Ross
TAX A TION
raise 'em, lower 'em, pay them to the jew
Brody Perez
>There are red things! Red companies in the books!
>All dead. All bankrupt. Elves(R) Company and Men & Orcses Limited. A great financial crisis long ago.
>Publicly traded company. Yes, yes! That is the name. This way. don't follow the market analysts.
>Careful now! Or Hobbits & Sons go down to join the insolvent ones, and perform little forced liquidations of their own.
Kayden Nguyen
>Hobbits have been living and stock trading in the four Farthings of the Shire for many hundreds of years. Quite content to ignore and be ignored by the world of the Big Bankers—
>Middle-Earth being, after all, full of strange capitalists beyond count. Hobbits must seem of little importance, being neither renowned as great industrialists, nor counted among the very entrepreneurial.
>In fact, it has been remarked by some that the Hobbits' only real passion is for shares. A rather unfair observation, as we have also developed a keen interest in the trading of bitcoins, and the validating of insurance claims. >But where our hearts truly lie is in tax and premiums, and good steady stocks. For all Hobbits share a love of things that grow.
Luke Collins
>What is that?
>Nothing, it's just an errant earnings forecast
>I-its coming predictably close! Against the FTC!
>Fraudulent earnings from China.... HIDE!
Joseph Evans
At the Walls of Street.
>Oh, it’s useless.
>It’s a riddle. Speak MONEY and enter. What’s the Hebrew word for cash?
>Shekel.
*gate opens*
>Soon, Master Jew, you will enjoy the fabled hospitality of the Stockbrokers. Roaring investments, annual reports , ripe bids of the shares! This, my friend, is the home of Vice President Balin, and they call it an exchange. An exchange!
>This is no exchange. It’s a crash.
>No… no! Nooooooo!
>IRS!
>We make for the Cayman Islands. We should never have come here. Now, get out of here. Get out!
*FBI car emerges from the water and chaos ensues and they are closed inside*
>We must face the long dark of Wall Street. Guard your portfolio. There are older and fouler things than tax inspectors in the deep places of the business. Quietly now. It’s a four million investment to the other side. Let us hope our transactions goes unnoticed...
Jeremiah Moore
>Instead of stagnation you'd have YoY GROWTH, NOT 2% BUT EXPONENTIAL AND SCALABLE AS THE MARKET CAP
>PREDICTABLE AS THE GREED, AND STRONGER THAN THE FOUNDATIONS OF THE FTC
>ALL SHALL INVEST IN ME AND DIVERSIFY
Liam Wright
top kek
Landon Lewis
finally a good thread on Yea Forums
Dylan Jackson
based
Asher Jackson
kek
Lucas Ward
>In a mansion on an island there lived a Jew. Not a nasty, went, dirty, African island, filled to the brim of blacks and an oozy smell, nor yet a dry, bare, sandy Middle-Eastern island with nothing in it to sit down on or to eat: it was a tax-haven and that meant profit.
Robert Powell
>Pay em when they're due
>Not pay em to the Jew
You had one fucking job.
Cooper Kelly
should have included a Bloomberg terminal
Jackson Jenkins
>EYE-PEE-OHS
Juan Moore
The tax is taxed. I tax it in the tax. I tax it in the tax. I smell it in the tax. Much that once was is taxed; for none now tax who taxated it. It began with the taxing of the great tax: three were taxed to the Tax, taxed, taxest and taxatest of all tax. Seven to the Tax Lords; great taxers and taxmen of the taxation halls. And nine, nine taxes were taxed to the race of tax, who above all else desire taxes. For within these taxes was taxed the tax and tax to tax each tax. But they were all of them taxed, for another tax was made: in the land of Taxdor, in the fires of Mount Tax, the dark tax Taxon taxed, in secret, a master tax to taxate all others. And into this tax, he taxed his taxety, his tax, and his tax to taxate all tax.
One Tax to Tax Them All.
One by one the free taxes of Middle Tax fell to the power of the Tax. But there were some who taxated. A tax alliance of Tax and Taxes taxed against the armies of Taxdor. And on the slopes of Mount Tax, they taxed for the taxdom of Middle Tax. The taxation was near, but the power of the Tax could not be undone.
It was in this moment when all tax had taxed that Taxildur, Son of the Tax, took up his father's tax.
Taxon, the tax of the free taxes of Middle Tax, was taxated. The Tax passed to Taxildur who had his one tax to taxate taxes forever.
Xavier King
>share the loan
Nicholas Davis
>sam, do you know Bitcoin?
>bitcoin?
>cryptocurrency
>aye, it’s a scam
Zachary Gomez
>The tax is taxed. I tax it in the tax. I tax it in the tax. I smell it in the tax. Much that once was is taxed; for none now tax who taxated it. It began with the taxing of the great tax: three were taxed to the Tax, taxed, taxest and taxatest of all tax. Seven to the Tax Lords; great taxers and taxmen of the taxation halls. And nine, nine taxes were taxed to the race of tax, who above all else desire taxes. For within these taxes was taxed the tax and tax to tax each tax. But they were all of them taxed, for another tax was made: in the land of Taxdor, in the fires of Mount Tax, the dark tax Taxon taxed, in secret, a master tax to taxate all others. And into this tax, he taxed his taxety, his tax, and his tax to taxate all tax.
>One Tax to Tax Them All.
>One by one the free taxes of Middle Tax fell to the power of the Tax. But there were some who taxated. A tax alliance of Tax and Taxes taxed against the armies of Taxdor. And on the slopes of Mount Tax, they taxed for the taxdom of Middle Tax. The taxation was near, but the power of the Tax could not be undone.
>It was in this moment when all tax had taxed that Taxildur, Son of the Tax, took up his father's tax.
>Taxon, the tax of the free taxes of Middle Tax, was taxated. The Tax passed to Taxildur who had his one tax to taxate taxes forever.
Adam Mitchell
It is a strange fate that we should suffer so much fear and doubt over so small a dip in the annual forecasts. Such a little dip.
Camden Edwards
>They have a cave toll
Isaac Clark
I know of LOTR tax-posting and fit-posting. Is there a third version of this magical thing out there ?
Jayden Bailey
titanic-posting
Tyler Nguyen
>Yea Forums usually reeing over capeshit and little girls like children
>suddenly taxposting sounds almost educated
Isaiah Kelly
Let the loan of the taxed land come forth!
Jace Cruz
Bless you OP. Bless you.
Xavier Cox
A daring systhesis
Caleb Barnes
orc posting of course
John Hernandez
Fuck orcposting was kino. Its so rare these days. Guess we ran out of material.
Luis Butler
>>They have taken the office and the 2nd condo.
brilliant
Bentley Moore
King of the Dead: The Account is closed. It was made by those who are broke. and the broke keep it.
[Legolas gives him a pen. It passes through the King as if nothing was there.]
Aragorn: I summon you to fulfill your contract.
King of the Dead: None but the Finance Officer of Gondor may command me! [Aragorn raises the original copy of the contract, blocking the king's blow] That contract was voided!
Aragorn: [holding the contract to the King's throat] It has been reformalized.[pushes the king back] Sign with us, and regain your credit score [looks around at the army] What say you?
Gimli: You're wasting your time, Aragorn. They had low credit in life, they have none now in debt.
Aragorn: I am CEO. Sign and I will Hold your contract fulfilled. What say you!
[the king of the Dead laughs. The army starts to vanish.]
Aragorn: You have my word! Sign and I shall release you from these interest rates! What say you?
Noah Nelson
>A red sun rises... capital has been lost this night.
Mason Long
>Strangers from distant corporations, CEO's of old, you have been summoned to this board meeting to answer the threat of Mordor Inc.
>The Middle Earth Stock Exchange stands upon the brink of bankruptcy; none can escape it. You will merge or you will fall.
>Each industry is bound to this fate, this one doom. Bring forth the subpoena, secretary.
>So it is true. In a coke-rampage, I saw the books grow red. But in the high-rise, an excel file lingered. A text was typing, "The doom is near at hand, the Subpoena Request is notarized ."
>טבעת אחת לשלטון כולם, טבעת אחת למצוא אותם, טבעת אחת להביא את כולם בחושך לקשור אותם.
>Never before has anyone dared utter words of that tongue here, in my office.
Liam Hernandez
You pay your taxes, do you weild any axes?
Liam Collins
He arguably still was true to the mission to oppose Sauron. He'd gathered an army, built his own ring etc. He was failing but so was Gandalf until his final crazy gambit paid off.
Radagast was the only wizard who blatantly couldn't be bothered to fulfil his purpose on middle earth.
Easton Myers
>110984858
God damn it I kekked out loud in my lonely studio
Adam Powell
Maybe in his own mind, but otherwise he was pretty much just doing exactly what Sauron wanted and planned.
Caleb Green
based
Bentley Bennett
Ow.
Gabriel Brooks
>and despair as soon as the price of gold drops
Jaxson Richardson
This thread is killing me inside. Both the humor and the horrid reality are too much.
Oliver Martinez
based
Kayden Collins
I always post feed and seed but I do not laugh at it. I do it simply to kill simpsons threads, that's the only manchild shit we've effectively killed on this board
Jackson Ross
>hi person that let me hold your money
>you want yor money back right now? Certainly, here it is!
>but din't you just lend it to someone else? How come the money is still here?
>magic! I wouldn't worry about it!
Easton Roberts
>"I'm devaluing! We ain't had nothing but maggoty slush funds for three stinking quarters!"
Andrew Clark
HONK
David Bennett
Re: Venezuela
Scene: Saruman and Grima with the black powder
>"My lord, how can mere domestic oil drilling undo an entire foreign country?"
>*grabs bag of gold and holds him back*
>"Even if you brought down the Bretton Woods agreement, it would take billions of dollars!"
>"Not billions, tens of Trillions!"
>"My lord, there is no such reserve!"
>GDP intensifies
Asher Garcia
Well 1000 people also gave me their money for safekeeping. Since not everyone wants to withdraw money at the same time, I lend out the bulk of the money and only keep a small portion to pay out withdrawls. If you would like to make a large withdrawl, give me a heads up and I'll collect more liquid cash.
Nicholas Hill
>Shares! Dwarven shares. One small dividend is enough to fill a budget of a growing Limited Liability Partnership
Henry Gomez
kek
Sebastian James
>I wish the sub prime crisis need not have happened in my time,' said Frodo. 'So do I,' said Gandalf, 'and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is where to remortgage our buy-to-let portfolio with the interest-only rates that are given to us.'”
Christopher Gomez
This. Fractional reserve banking was a mistake.
Charles Green
The age of rich white men is OVER!
Luis Ward
first one was funny
Sebastian Phillips
This one is my favorite.
Sebastian Brooks
based
Easton Butler
or he was doing exactly what Eru wanted and planned and he was a critical factor making sure events unfolded as they did to result in the destruction of the Ring
scouring was all him tho
Nathaniel Wilson
based & trips
Jacob Campbell
CPA here.
This thread is a sensible chuckle.
Jordan Parker
I don't care about this stupid meme but that line is amazing because Hackson got the Palantir exactly right for once
Not like Denethor who goes crazy "just cause lol"
Andrew Martinez
uhm, you don't get to bring hobbits.
David Watson
This fits startlingly well.
David Fisher
Tolkien is a hack and only dicklet virgins think otherwise
Noah Baker
Fuuuck me
James Bailey
>”What are you waiting for?! Sell the option now!”
>Frodo turns to Sam
>”The option is mine.”
>”No...no!”
>Frodo exercises the option
>”No!”
Zachary Cruz
Kek
Cameron Clark
Jackson Watson
>TFSA
tax free savings account
you put money into an account that earns you a % over time. the longer it is in there the more money you have at the end (30-40 years) youll be rich.
money you put in is not taxed, money you make is not taxed, money you pull out is not taxed. everyone should get one.
Alexander Ortiz
not going with
>The age of the stock exchange is over!
>The time of bitmining has come!
Charles Sullivan
Why didn't the eagles just audit Sauron?
Nicholas Gray
>condo
Josiah Morgan
>
>Isildur, these mortgage bonds consist of highly risky subprime loans.
>You must give them double B's!
>Assign it!
>No.
Robert Baker
merry is the only philosopher i agree with
Bentley Rivera
In English doc...
Jace Martinez
Mason Wilson
These threads are the living blood of this board I swear.
Jonathan Sullivan
>My friends, you pay to no one
Lincoln Martinez
someone please make one about the prologue and the rings of men/elves/dwarves
Im too much a brainlet, but I see the opportunity regardless
Wyatt Jones
nice
Hunter Campbell
>Leave a thorough audit of Sauron's offshore accounts to me
I can't believe people think the hobbit movies were bad
Henry King
This is an actual concern among some finance people. Bravo, user.
bloomberg.com
Zachary Sanders
Can't go wrong with investopedia.com
It's rare you'll find any sort of term that doesn't have its own page. They've even got fun explanatory videos.
Henry Foster
the medieval Italian banking families weren't jews
Jaxon Bell
Bravo user, you linked a great article. I fear people here won't appreciate it though
Jonathan Price
bloom (((berg)))
Brandon Price
Yes and Matt (((Levine))). Seriously read the article though, it's great.
John Roberts
incredible
Mason Nelson
Same vibe?
Leo Clark
Underrated
David Jackson
underrated
Ethan Myers
Is this the autist from the Alita thread saying that Alita is Jewish propaganda
Carson Watson
i havent finished reading the article yet, i dont understand some of it. but people pick passive funds because they have less fees with them .04 versus .7 or more. less of your money is taken to pay the fund managers with passive. or am i missing something from the article?
Lucas Wilson
oh top kek this one got me
Tyler Ward
>the Ents have invested only in index funds for all these years
>oh.....
>many of those stocks were part of my index funds. Securities that were included in the funds since their launch
>Come, my friends. The Ents are going to speculate on options. It is likely that we go to our doom. The last investment of the Ents.
William Morales
What you said is correct. The problem is that active managers buy more of good companies and less of bad companies. Passive funds/managers just buy everything.
So in a world dominated by passive funds, shitty companies get as much capital (which they waste) as good companies. Something that's sorta functionally communism.
Xavier Barnes
LMAO, 111/10
William Thompson
>CPA
I'm something of a child porn aficionado myself
Robert Parker
ah thank you. sounds like a Mary meme if you think too much about this
makes sense, but shitty companies will make bad decisions and go under or make that once in a life time decision and succeed.
Carson Bailey
>I am liquidating my assets
my fucking sides
Brandon Collins
kek
Josiah Roberts
>will make bad decisions and go under
Or they just keep limping along. Because by being included in an index (just a matter of getting your company past a certain size threshold) and having passive funds buy $X of stock from every company on that index, your company gets roughly $X/[number of companies in that index] every year.
Again, it's a lot like bad companies that communist countries are notorious for propping up.
Andrew Baker
Fucking kek why is this the post I lost to?
Jackson Diaz
these threads always get me laughing for 15 minutes straight. really needed this today.
thanks Yea Forums
can't wait to see more fucking sneed and cunnyposting later today fuck you guys
Matthew Smith
>tfw know decent amount about finance and economics but haven't seen LotR in years and can't remember any lines/moments from it so i can't contribute either
Aaron Gutierrez
What about their pensions? They don't need those.
Nicholas Thompson
You tried.
Colton Hughes
Yeeeeah! Why can't we have a delayed retirement age?
Nathan Walker
Sons of Wall Street! Of Federal Reserve! I see in your eyes the same fear I had trading the markets during the sub prime mortgage crisis.
A day may come when the banks of men fails, when we forsake our debts and break all bonds and obligations of our modern banking system. But it is not this day.
A liquidity trap when the age of Men comes crashing down! But it is not this day! This day we implement quantitative easing! By all that you hold dear on this good Earth, I bid you, conduct open market operations and facilitate an expansion of private bank lending!
Christopher Perry
>built his own ring
What?
Someone elaborate plz.
Bentley Morris
Based uncreative poster
Jackson Cox
>Even the smallest claim on depreciation can change the course of future earnings.
Brandon Martin
> Orc Captain: I'm starving! We ain't had nothing but single digits returns for three stinking quarters!
> Snaga: Yeah! Why can't we have some Capital Growth? [staring at Merry and Pippin's bitcoin wallets] What about them? They're volatile?!
> Ugluk: They, are not for investing!
> Grishnakh: What about their dividends? They don't need those. Ooh, they look risky!!
> Ugluk [pushing Grishnakh away] Get back, scum! The assets go to Saruman, quarterly and untaxed!
> Grishnakh: Untaxed? Why Untaxed? Do they give good margin?
> Ugluk: They have something. A Jewish weapon. The Master wants it for the corporate takeover.
> Pippin Took: [whispering to Merry] They think we have the trust deeds!
> Merry Brandybuck: Shh! As soon as they find out we don't, we're bankrupt!
> Snaga: [approaching the Hobbits with a loan] Carve them up! Just a subsidiary! A bit off the margins!
> Ugluk: No! [liquidates Snaga] Looks like index funds are back on the investment menu, boys!
Sebastian King
The market is changed.
(השוק משתנה.)
I feel it in the subprimes.
(אני מרגיש את זה בתת-הסובבים.)
I feel it in the swaps.
אני מרגיש את זה בחילופי.
I smell it in the trading floors.
(אני מריח אותו ברצפות המסחר.)
Much that once was profit is loss, for none now trade who short squeeze it.
Julian Perry
Sneedtax.
Shut you up.
Ian Moore
I fucking love this threads
Juan Thomas
>>We've had one yes, what about a second bailout?
absolutely based and greekpilled
Nathan Smith
Fucking brilliant
Brody Reyes
>And why should your coins be unfit for my portfolio? Come; shill me a coin.
Lucas Mitchell
>and perform little forced liquidations of their own
Nicholas White
>My lord if their internal controls fail it would take a number beyond reckoning to perform enough substantive testing to file before the dead line, thousands to confirm the balances
>tens of thousands
>but my lord their is no such firm
Nolan Cox
Severly underrated.
Jace Cox
>those interest rates look fresh!
Jacob Powell
Where now the bull and the buyer? Where is the flag that was forming?
Where are the sats and the gwei, and the sweet gains flowing?
Where is the rocket on the launchpad, and the bright Moon glowing?
Where is the Eth and the Link and the Bitcoin growing?
They have passed like poo in the streets, like a chink with an exitscam;
The days have gone down here on /biz/ behind the hills into eternal bear market.
Cooper Brown
They are not for taxing!
Anthony Ward
>it's like in the great stories Mr. Frodo
>full of client bullshit and missing tax organizers they were
>some times you didn't want to extend
>because how could the extension be successfully filed after so much bad had happened?
>but in the end, it's only a passing thing, this busy season
>4/15 will come and when the sun rises the next day it will shine out all the clearer
>but I understand now Mr frodo, folks in those stories had lots of chances of leaving before making partner, only they didn't.
>becuase they were holding on to something
>....what are we holding on to Sam...
>a seven figure salary..
Jack Russell
kek
Lincoln Watson
All memes aside this is 100% right.
Jackson Bennett
criminally underrated
Nathaniel Lee
paying taxes is the only way to have a livable society until cold fusion and true post-scarcity
Matthew Peterson
>subsidizing negroes and single moms = livable society
DON'T YOU REALIZE WHO YOU SOUND LIKE!
Jaxson Carter
Fuck the bugman.
>m-m-muh chinese social credit system
Kill yourself.
Brayden Ward
>Saruman: If the market is breached, Helm Depot's shares will fall.
>Grima: It would take a number of investors beyond reckoning, thousands to upset the current balance of stockholders!
>Saruman: Tens of thousands.
>Grima: But Mister Saruman, there is no such financial force..
[ Both walk into the conference room of the White Hand LLC skyscraper, revealing a figurative army of investment bankers personally hired and trained by Saruman ]
David Turner
Fantastic
Colton Ward
>No parent should have to take a loan from their child.
Connor Gutierrez
based and trippilled.
Aaron Mitchell
dub dubs earned
Jayden Williams
based anons giving birth to a glorious 200 reply taxposting thread
Parker Brown
The best
Christopher Hall
fucking leaf made me google that
Cameron Sullivan
underrated
John Myers
>BONDS
Sebastian Howard
kek
James Sanders
These are the funniest fucking threads on Yea Forums
Ian Bennett
lmao
Christopher Foster
>I never thought I’d work side by side with a partner.
>How about side by side with a joint venture
>Aye. I could do that.
Cameron Ward
digits confirm
holy fuck a lot of digits itt
Parker King
blessed thread
Colton Gomez
kek
Isaiah Baker
>it's gone. It's done.
>Yes, Mr. Frodo. The bullrun is over now.
>I can see it. The All Time High. 750% gains. Retirement.
>The All Time Low. It was days before the High. If there was ever a time to buy, it would've been then. It would've been then.
>I'm glad to be with you, Sam. Here, in the bear market.
James Reyes
I'll give you 5% of (you)s in this thread in exchange for 100% ownership of your idea and 10% of your (you)s on a lifetime basis
Liam Allen
interesting, thanks user
Jason Collins
Kek got me good
Gavin Edwards
Beautiful
Gavin Clark
"Aslan is a bond- the bond, the great Bond." "Ooh" said Susan. "I'd thought he was a gamble. Is he triple A? I shall feel rather nervous about purchasing a bond..."
"Triple A?" said Mr Beaver ..."Who said anything about triple A? 'Course he isn't triple A. But he's good. He's the great mortgage backed security, I tell you."
Nolan Wright
Jack Edwards
>My campaign donors... you pay taxes to no one
Tyler Martin
Good shit , lads
Lincoln Parker
So there I was, at the mercy of three monstrous bankrolls! And they were all arguing over how they were going to cut us, whether our books would be turned out for audit or if they should clear out our assets one by one, liquidate them into shares! Well they were so busy arguing the fiscal appraisals and the buyout clause that a new financial year crept over the markets and POOOFT! Defaulted all our loans!
Tyler Perry
I didn't make it
It began with the founding of the great banks: three were given to the Dutch, frugal, wisest and most prudent of all investors. Seven to the Swiss Lords; great miners and craftsmen of the commodity funds. And nine, nine banks were gifted to the race of Anglos, who above all else desire power. For within these banks was bound the liquidity and bookvalue to govern each economy. But they were all of them deceived, for another bank was made: in the land of Israel, in the offices of Temple Mount, the dark lord Rothschild founded, in secret, a central bank to control all others. And into this bank he poured his cruelty, his malice,and his will to dominate all economies.
One Bank to Finance them All.
Nicholas Kelly
Makes me cry every time...
Christopher Rogers
AAARGH MONEY AND SHIT!
Benjamin Jenkins
Based brainlet user. I've been chuckling along to this thread then I got to this post and busted my sides.
Charles Hernandez
Excellent post friend
Caleb Rivera
LOL 99/100, just wish you put liquidate to cash instead of shares for terminological accuracy and congruency.
Cooper Murphy
These really are the best threads on Yea Forums.
James Stewart
Based Radagast
Brandon Gutierrez
>"You cannot invest! I am a liquidator of the Secret Fire, LLC, wielder of the tax-free savings account of Anor! The bull market will not avail you, banker of Udun. Go back to the office! YOU! SHALL NOT! INVEST!"
Levi Miller
Bid them down! Do not stop until they are acquired. You do not know math, you do not know restraint. You will taste bonuses!"
One of the startups carries intellectual property of great value. Bring it to me active, and unmerged. Liquidate the others!
Jacob Edwards
>tfw know enough about both finance and LOTR to appreciate these posts but not enough to make OC
Nolan Russell
Bravo.
Noah Adams
>By my Credit or default, I will cosign for you. I will. You have my signature
Jason Stewart
Screw Wagner's Ring comparisons. The Lord of the Rings was an allegory for international bankery in a way The Wizard Oz never could.
Julian Campbell
Jeus Christ, the more I think about this post the funnier it gets.
Alexander Martin
Truly the ubermench
Dominic Kelly
lmfao
Jack Williams
Yes
Logan Walker
lmao
Xavier Morris
" Tax ! "
Oliver Thompson
Why didn’t Frodo just transfer the Ring to a shell corporation then spin it off and let it declare bankruptcy?
Jaxson Ortiz
The "We'll take the focking lot ! " threads were serious contenders for a while
Henry Evans
Based pipe poster
Jeremiah Allen
What did radagast do and what was his mission?
Josiah Davis
Quality
Benjamin Cook
You forgot to include and change the “treacherous as the sea” line.
Ethan Murphy
Sauramon created his own ring of power. He planned to defeat Sauron and rule middleearth himself unlike in the movies where he just joins Sauron.
Jaxson Rodriguez
Venture capitalist
Noah Ortiz
All this effort for such a shit post.
Guaranteed redditor trying to fit in.
Isaiah Reed
>"A tax collector is never late. Nor is he early. He collects precisely when he means to.”
Easton Long
kys asspie incels
Nicholas Jackson
based radagast
Elijah Baker
Why is this the funniest post I’ve seen so far? Am I a retard? Jesus Christ I can barely type what the fuck is wrong with me.
Asher Sullivan
we live in a feudal system
Dylan King
I can relate, I think what makes it funny is that it's basically what I look and sound like trying to come up with a funny taxpost but get frustrated with myself for being a total brainlet.
Matthew Gomez
I'll tell you a secret. Literally nobody knows. That's why the economic crisis hit like a truck and nobody saw it coming.
One pawn goes down and all hell break loose
David Gutierrez
The medieval Italians were barely Catholics
Austin Rogers
tax posting is the most subtle kino meme this shithole has come up with
Wyatt Adams
To gather the animals against Sauron but he just lived happy innawoods
Gavin Barnes
based
Joshua Sullivan
but the eagels?
Gabriel Peterson
>Sauron has regained much of his former liquidity. He cannot yet take corporative form, but his greediness has lost none of its potency. Concealed within his skyscraper, the CEO of Mordor Inc. sees all. His audits pierce policy, appeals, collaterals, and taxhavens. You know of what I speak, Gandalf: a great accountant, pitiless and wreathed in legal authority. He is gathering all evidence to him. Very soon he will summon an army of lawyer great enough to launch litigation upon Middle-earth (TM)
Still my favorite.
Daniel Roberts
LOL
Josiah Price
now don't laugh at this next part
Jeremiah Miller
underrated
Brandon Miller
>Sauron has regained much of his former liquidity. He cannot yet take corporate form, but his portfolio has lost none of its potency.
>Concealed within his corner office, the CEO of Mordor sees all. His audits pierce wholly-owned subsidiaries, numbered Swiss accounts, and... tax-havens. You know of what I speak, Gandalf: a great Accountant - merciless, wreathed in flame. He is gathering all evidence to him. Very soon he will summon an army of lawyers great enough to file suit against Middle Earth™.
>Against the power of Mordor there can be no victory. We must merge with them, Gandalf. We must merge with Sauron.
Jordan Jackson
>But they were all of them deceived, for another Bank was made: in the land of Israel, in the fires of the Golan Heights, the dark lord Sauron forged, in secret, a master World Bank to control all others. And into this Bank, he poured his cruelty, his malice, and his will to debt-enslave all countries
>One Bank to Rule Them All.
One by one the free countries of the world fell to the power of the World Bank. But there were some who resisted. A last alliance of Syrians and Iranians marched against the armies of Judea. And on the slopes of the Golan Heights, they fought for the freedom of their people
Nathaniel Morales
Eagles weren't under anyone's control (except Manwe), they aren't exactly animals. They're like the dragons but on the side of the good.
Nicholas Harris
It’s a very gradual learning process and it’s super layered and detailed like learning all the quirks to a competitive video game or hobby. Helps to pay attention to news articles or tv talking points, and also bring it up and ask questions to the different people you might meet. Everyone has a perspective on it, sometimes educational sometimes not
Christopher Watson
what a bad thread I hoped it would turn into comfy loreposting
Eli Murphy
>Auditors are roaming freely across our balance sheets. Unchecked. Unchallenged. Filing at will.
>Auditors bearing the white hand of the Fed.
Jason Brown
lol
good
Thomas Hall
>You think you are wise, Manager. Yet for all your subtleties, you have not wisdom. Do you think the eyes of the White Tower, Inc. are blind? I have seen more than you know. With your left hand you would use me as a security against Mordor Limited, and with your right you would seek to merge with me. I know who trades with Theoden of Rohan Accounting. Oh, yes. Word has reached my ears of this Aragorn, CEO of Arathorn & Sons, and I tell you now, I will not sell to this Speculator from North Manhattan, last of a ragged company long bereft of profit!
Juan Edwards
nice
Cooper Anderson
kek
Ryder Hernandez
Kek
Noah Cook
And the visible parts of Gandalf's plan suited him as well. It was only the hidden scheme that beat Sauron, and Saruman had hidden schemes of his own.
Wyatt Howard
If I read "based" one more time I'll leave this shithole forever. FUCK ZOOMER MEMES. Yea Forums hasn't been good since the first /got/ threads
Easton Brown
>why do dwarves make up more than 90% of corporate boards despite being less than 10% of the population?
Sebastian Roberts
Radagast's mission was the same as the other wizards - oppose and defeat Sauron. He decided not to bother where all the others tried and mostly failed, by all appearances.
Noah Jenkins
based irate poster
Lincoln Murphy
Radagast was tending to plant and animals. They too needed protection from sauron
Dominic Lewis
Dumbass post
Austin Garcia
>Lenders. Loan sharks! You would call upon them to help? They believe in nothing! They answer to no one.
>They will answer to the Federal Reserve!
Grayson Jones
are you saying Smaug isn't good you fiat currency shill!?
Jayden Thomas
Literally needlessly complex to keep plebs from getting involved.
Evan Gonzalez
>Can you meme, Master Hobbit?
Cooper James
>So there I was, at the mercy of three monstrous investor polls! And they were all arguing amongst themselves about how they were going to book us! whether we'd be turned out for audit or whether they'd sell of our assets one by one, liquidate them into capital! They spent so much time arguing the market skews and the buyout clause that the new financial quarter crept over the stock exchange and PFFFT! Defaulted all our loans!
Nathaniel Sullivan
Radagast was on friendly terms with the eagles but nothing more. The eagles were lieutenant and messenger to Manwe, the top Valar.
Nathan Myers
Hahah
Ryder Hernandez
>Hold your stocks! Hold your stocks! Brokers of Gondor & Rohan Enterprises, my backers, I see in your eyes the same fear that would take the heart of me.
>A day may come when the projections of analysts fail, when we forsake long-term trends and break all bonds of loyalty, but it is not this day.
>An hour of financial wolves and shattered trusts, when the age of returns comes crashing down, but it is not this day! This day we trade!!
>By all that you hold dear on this exploitable Earth, I bid you invest, Brokers of the West Side!!!
Noah Robinson
nice
Brayden Martin
what about the two blue wizards?
Julian Richardson
the went far east and south, and either fell or their impact was not shown.
Daniel Davis
Oh come on, not one (You)? This was a good post user, nice.
Jason Myers
Bankers of Goldman Sachs! Of Wall street! My brothers. I see in your quarterly earnings the same fear that would tank the housing market. A day may come when the courage of the lenders of last resort fails, when the government does not reward your reckless lending practices and stops the cycle of nationalization of losses. But that day is not today! An hour of credit default swaps and shattered banks when the age of the investment banker comes crashing down! But it is not this day. This day we lend! By all that you hold dear on this good Marketplace, we will lend! Men of the West!
For Rothschilde!
Juan Bennett
Why didn't they just transfer all their assets to the Eagle Islands? The Nazgul Revenue Service wouldn't have been able to stop them
Nicholas Long
He's done it again
Justin Rivera
>small chance of recession
>certainty of bailout
>what are we waiting for?
Jonathan Walker
>Authority is not given to you (by shareholders) to deny acquisition from the King!
Logan Russell
Underrated
Jack Long
underrated
Ian Hernandez
nice
Joseph Ward
This was fun, lads. Same time next week?