Captain Mary Sue

nobody cares about your week long tantrum about a shit superhero movie either, but by all means continue

And then you realize she's like 30 which makes it super cringey

Is the feminist bubble bursting?
Is this the end of identity politics?
Is this the result of the big "journalist" culling of 2019?
Or is it another trick of the mouse?

Lol that's so fucking weird, who writes this shit?

Tell me how the article gets it wrong, then.

Holy shit, this is a based review.

i didnt read it

Latest prediction has it as lock for 150m opening weekend. Minimum

can you imagine the meltdown mode this place is going to go into if that happens?

Most tevenue is made after week 1

Nah, everyone expects to go good, the meltdown will happen if it goes broke, it would be glorious

>you know what's feminist?? actually making a good movie
Damn.

The fun comes in the secomd week drop

Hopefully Woke era is reaching its end

It’s a Marvel movie, at worst is going to make Ant-Man money, all “npc” will see it

wow i don't know who this is, but she's redpilled as fuck

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It's a marvel movie, it'll do ant man numbers at least

no one's thinking it'll do bad

By typical standards The Last Jedi was a major success. I'm sure Disney accountants saw it the same way,

Corporations, especially corporations as big as Disney, have different definitions of success. You don't realize for a massive publicly traded company like them, it's possible even $100 Miillion in pure profit isn't good enough and can't be measured as a success because perhaps they promised their shareholders $300 Million profit for added income and earnings. Shareholders don't like when numbers are off the mark like that, and some will pull out, and more will pull out if the same trend of false promises continue.

I agree with you. I meant to imply Disney maths on a different standard than the typical.

>WWBAS?
What Will Based Armond Say?

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>Kyle Smith

sounds like a white male to me

CONTAINMENT BOARD WHEN

Finally the white man is afraid.

Job well done, Brie Larson.

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>ladytagonists

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is there anything that ruins a company faster than going public? Shareholders are like being beholden to a faceless sociopath who looks at nothing but numbers all day, ignoring what builds up genuine public goodwill and loyalty in the first place.

Thank you Based Canadian!

>dc pajeets now agree with sjws and the people they've been clamming for years now that are bought by the mouse
AAHAHAHA

The only notable love interest Carol ever had was a literal rapist.

she white too,
BRIE 1488

Needs Alita

Going public raises tons of money. That's why companies do it. Many of our greatest companies are public companies.

You completely ignored my post. I realize that going public raises money and allows the corporation to pursue profit over everything else; that's the whole point of going public. What I was hoping to discuss was the fact that private companies that build up love, respect, and goodwill from their community/customers that then go public always go to shit because they become beholden to a group of profit-seeking psychopaths who have no love for the company, at least more recently now that it's no longer run by Walt.

and the companies that go public aren't great because they went public, it's the other way around.

seriously where's Alita?

She needs a man to wrestle her to the ground and fuck her after winning to set her straight.

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>BRIE 1488

Is that the vintage of her toenail cheese?

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Who the fuck is buying these tickers?

I have interacted with literally no one who wants to see it and early reviews are even call out how bland it is.

Disney pre-buying their own tickets to hand out.

I think a 90 million opening would be generous.

alita is not cancer, faggot

>waiting for gadot
perfect way to describe this piece of shit

you underestimate the degree with which people will watch anything in a theater to kill time with friends and dates when going out

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>Brie shills so hard for POC and Biracials
>Demonizes white men
>Still gets called garbage boring ass white bitch

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At this point i would've even mind the black version of captain shitstain, at least they would have hired a more CAPABLE person to do the fucking job

it just baffles me how fucking dumb and retarded are the executives at disney that they fucked up all this build up in one fucking movie and one huge fucking miscast

>fuck aluminum

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>invincible bore

I read that as invincible whore.

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if they wanted another major poc superhero, should have made Spider-Man Miles Morales. we already have three good Peter Parker movies

She's literally tumblr personified. All her opinions are formed in a safespace vacuum and she's terrified of anyone actually disagreeing with her because she knows there is no logic behind them.

DAS RITE CRACKAHS

This tweet perfectly encapsulates why paid, professional reviewers can never be honest about movies that have been thrusted into being a gender war battleground.

They will not outright say the movie fucking sucks because that would mean the "incels' were right all along this whole time. So they'll give it a mediocre 3 out of 5 scores when this movie is a solid 2.

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>waiting for Gadot
wtf that was extremely clever

Non american-black's opinion do not count

what the fucking kind of name is Kyle Smith
like man, talk about boring
can't you like, throw a cool nickname in there or something?

IS THIS THE GREATEST OOOOOOF OF 2019

ALMOST ENTIRELY SKIPS ANALYSIS OF THE MOVIE ITSELF

GOES STRAIGHT TO CALLING OUT THE SJW MOTIVE AND CALCULATIONS

BEST EMMA

>don't want to feed the incels

Imagining having to censor yourself for fear of being associated with incels.

its funny because Alita is unironically woke as fuck
the movie is all about fighting from poverty to take down the ultra rich 1% by sheer force

Only the next star wars movie will be a bigger shitfest than captain mary sue

To be fair almost every black actress has hotter tits and ass than Brie Larson, I could definitely see getting a chubby with say one of those Game of Thrones ladies in a skintight bodysuit, make the white girl the sidekick and boom.

Fuck Yea Forums btw for making incel such a big deal and then liberals stealing it as a useful word against us.

>J-Just wait for the movie, SHE will prove you wrong!!

WE WUZ MAHVEL N SHIET

A HER O

alita actually show weakness and vulnerability at some points so she can't be an icon

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Obviously, you’ve never felt out of place among them.

Then maybe you should take a shower.

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>all the retards ITT thinking liberals are waking up
This is from the National Review, a conservative site that shit talks liberals all the fucking time
Dumbasses

>By typical standards The Last Jedi was a major success.
It had the biggest second weekend drop EVER and made $600-700M less than they hoped for. It's a massive fucking failure and only carried by being muh Star Wars.

Based and Simonpillaid

>nobody cares about your week long tantrum about a shit superhero movie

You mean the one Leftists have been throwing?

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>you know what's feminist?? actually making a good movie

There's nothing "Feminist" about that.

I can't tell if this guy is for real or an undercover /pol/ack

>kyle smith
>white male
sorry sweetie, we don't accept your critic or reviews

It's a feminist running desperate damage-control. That's not "redpilled".
Being smart enough to not think, or at least pretend, a shitty movie isn't shitty due to politics doesn't make you "redpilled". It just makes you SLIGHTLY LESS dogmatic and delusional than average feminists.
That's an improvement, but it's not something anyone should get a medal over.

>responding seriously to a post using the word 'redpill'

>this movie isn't progressive enough!

Wow, totally based and redpilled, huh guys?
Finally a REASONABLE leftist amirite?

>it's confirmed that nick fury loses his eye to the cat
why would you fucking do that?

>can't tell
Fuck off boomer

fucking based frog

>Man is an invincible badass that no one can touch
>"Wow such a hero, I wanna be like him"
>Movie get called" brainless" at worst for having a man too good at what he does
>gets panned and forgotten

>Woman is an invincible badass that no one can touch
>"Why the fuck is he so good? Such a Mary Sue"
>Essays and articles are written ad infinitum scrutinizing every single aspect of the movie to validate such claims
>movie becomes a milestone of bad cinema

I'm no SJW, but thy does this happen?
I'm actually curious to hear reasons.

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does that include all the tickets Disney/Marvel are buying to give out for 'free'?

Cool it zoomer

I love when woke eat their own.

>Constantly virtue-signal and cow-tow to brown people
>They STILL hate you for the crime of being white

Daily reminder to literally never respect these people, their opinions or their demands. They're literally just racists that will never, ever be pleased. At least not until whites are extinct, at least.

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It's based ...but it might also be redpilled

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>I'm no SJW, but

Good attempt. I'll give this a 5/10

I think it is, isnt it like the 70s again? One last big party and theywont disapear but wont be the same again

>I'm no SJW, but thy does this happen?
Because people like you refuse to admit those characters are Mary Sues.

This. It's the same reason they keep spamming the word """""Miscast"""""" in criticisms of this movie.

They don't want to admit that Brie Larson is a shitty actress and a turbo-bitch that nobody likes on or off screen, so it can't POSSIBLY be her fault that her acting sucks.
Instead, it's the fault of the nebulous movie-making system that this innocent, talented starlet was cast in a role that was doomed to fail from the beginning and that she had no chance to save.

It's classic "diplomatic" soft-ball criticism.

What's the first movie in your example that you're strawmanning against?

She is starting to realize that the mindset of shoehorning SJW shit just kills the entire creative process from the get go. Many such cases!

>the movie is all about fighting from poverty to take down the ultra rich 1% by sheer force

In a movie written and made by people who invariably live in fucking Hollywood mansions and probably snorted coke at the beginning of each shooting day.

Holy fucking kek
Wonder if this'll make her change her tune and start bashing men in general

Saw some Japanese tweets that they're uninterested, but will watch it to understand Infinity War. That's probably what they're banking on with this movie.

lol.. this one needs alita so bad and it would be the holy round table

Though it is possible for a company to go back to being private if there are low enough shareholders.

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think about how Black Panther couldn't be scrutinized in any way without people calling the critic racist. this is the coddled state that woke movies are released in. this was the straw that broke the camel's back because unlike the others, there's almost nothing redeeming about it.

BP was seriously nom'd to the Oscars. fucking think about that.

Exactly, they are doing the same sketchy accounting of giving away massive amounts of free tickets and counting it as revenue that they did with Black Pantherm. Every black charter school, church, pan-african community organization, were given tons of Black Panther tickets, hell even Walmart was giving away a shitload after the first week to keep juicing the numbers up.

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Literally nobody can tell the difference at this point, zoomer.

You modern leftycucks are the embodiment of Poe's Law. You're impossible to parody because even Strawmanning of your beliefs accurately represents many of your constituent members.

Wars are not won in a single battle victory.

More. We need more coloreds shitting on leftwing white women.

Don't forget to post a reason you believe this happens.

Let's say, someone like John Wick.

>it just baffles me how fucking dumb and retarded are the executives at disney that they fucked up all this build up in one fucking movie and one huge fucking miscast
Nepotism leads to mediocrity and worse, including jewish tribal nepotism.

>muh incel
Incel is a Reddit roastie word you fucking nigger 4channel tourist.

Who names their child after cheese?

Were her parents able to see the future?

Nope white women are the pink pussy princesses of the world and will never be sidekicks to a colored.

John wick had a development arc. Hes not invincible either if you actually watched the movie.

Also John wick's premise isnt based around motivating minorities and the oppressed. It's honestly an insult to compare CM to it because it is honestly a good film for what it does. CM panders to a small group of people who are very vocal on Twitter and the reviews will show.

Captain Marvel? More like CRAPtain Marvel!

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Because those heroes aren't invincible, at least not the ones in well made movies that people still quote and remember fondly to this day. Consider Arnold in Predator, Bruce Willis in Die Hard, Tobey McGuire in the early 2000's Spider-Man movies. Yes, they're all tough, but they are also flawed and vulnerable in other ways, and often have to rise above their own limitations to win against the antagonists of their movies. Female characters used to be written like that until people decided that being a badass who is also flawed and vulnerable is sexist, at least where women are concerned. So they started writing them as borderline infallible characters with a solution to every problem. Look at Rey in the Star Wars movies, she's barely broken a sweat the entire time and everyone likes her just minutes after meeting her.

What's even more important is the fact a guy like this throws around terms like "incel" but you just know his fucking bitch ass never gets laid.

If someone makes one I'll add her.

it's just because we actually do have a nuanced dialogue on feminism in the contemporary world it's just your hamfisted /pol/ understanding of it is limited to misunderstanding Daily Mail and brietbart headlines instead of feminist critique of art that has been evolving since feminism came into existence

>ladytagonist
In what fucking world is that even a thing?

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Feminism is over. It's just mysandry now

>Is this the end of identity politics?
The west will die first.
There's forty more years of this shit on the way. Then...

And you breath smells like Mickey's smegma cheese.

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Feminism being so fucking retarded that even feminists are like whoa this shit is stupid, is not nuanced. Its clusterfucked.

Wtf happened to her lips

Reverse shit advertising won't make me go see this trash fire any more than before. The normalfag next door will still see it because they don't give a shit about pretentious reviewers. Did not stop the long line of shitty Resident Evil, and Transformer blockbuster cancer. These movies are targeted for little kids. Little kids don't often have good tastes, nor know quality entertainment. Think about the trash fires you've seen as a kid.

>Let's say, someone like John Wick.

Literally the first thing we see in the movie is John lying on the ground in the rain with his gut bleeding out. Then we get 10 minutes of him being sad, followed by him getting btfo by a russian punk and his dog getting killed.

John Wick isn't invincible.

>he had an arc
Well, having a motivation is not exactly an arc. He loved some woman, she got killed, he wants revenge. He got it. Alone.

He killed two armed guys while strapped on a chair and while wearing a plastic bag on his head.
Are you seriously telling me he's that good? Why?

I got to watch you grow up.

Its always been misandry.

gonna make a billion dollars, incels

>implying anyone will remember captain marvel as early as 3 years from now
its not some cultural artefact of historic significanse its a fucking cash grab capeshit garbage movie

Some were lucky to have lots of kino as a little kid

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>Man is an invincible badass that no one can touch

Literally never happens. The hero obviously always wins, but male action heros are well known for looking like complete shit at the end of the movie.

John Wick was never touted as a Big Important Film. It's literally just very well made and refined action schlock featuring an assassin who does his job well. His weakness is his dog, and he suffers a great amount of loss throughout the film. Even when he's kicking everyone's ass he's taking a beating himself, accumulating cuts, bruises, showing visible signs of physical and emotional pain. The fact that it's actually a decently directed, acted, and choreographed film also helps. Captain Marvel is none of these things. She has no weaknesses, no emotions, no signs of suffering or loss, no weight or stakes to make her victory mean anything. You don't root for an invincible demigod unless their battle is primarily internal, and hers isn't. She has no battle at all.

You didnt even watch the film.

He quit the biz to be with his wife.
Wife dies presumably of cancer.
Wife gets him a dog while writes a letter to him that he both receives post mortem and she tells him to live life and find happiness. Dog gets killed.

Also his sniper friend took out one of the 2 men and he strangled the other. He is also continuously fucked up throughout both movies and keeps his wounds.

Carol is just carol.

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>They don't want to admit that Brie Larson is a shitty actress

She isn't tho. She's been really good before, like in Room which won her an oscar.

>Think about the trash fires you've seen as a kid.
Oh, Zoomer.
Sorry about that, kid.

kek his review is alright

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*cough* ahem

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you're so fucking stupid. just keep digging yourself deeper

You're only as good as your last in show business, user.

just give her the fucking oscar already

Yeah nobody liked it dummy. But they loved E.T. bitch

DELET
But actually did not watch it as a child, years later. Skipped as a kid, luckily

the jew is perfectly happy to sell you your fantasies of revolution

Cheesy garbage but still better than any capeshit son

I hope it does so box office fags leave along with capeshitters when they have no ground to stand on, for the worst movie in history made a ridiculous amount of undeserving cash.

It's clear he didn't watch the film, user.

Hedging

Usually people aren't trying to make a statement with their Gary Stu. It's just a poorly written character. There's (arguably) more of an agenda behind the whole Mary Sue/girl power thing.

t. white male

This guy is saying the opposite of everyone else, that Cap'n Mehvel is okay but Brie sucks.
The truth, however, is that brie is perfectly cast; Captain Marvel is a huge, unlikable bitch in comics and Brie is in real life.

They can't sell Captain Marvel comics, and she's supposed to be the face of Marvel. She's been rebooted 12 times in like 7 years

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>national review

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Aluminium*

> Don't listen to the adults who get paid to review movies! Listen to the zoomers who do it for free!

Is there a more unlikable female name than Carol? Reminds me of a stuffy church secretary with a sensible haircut and boring grandma glasses. There's just nothing appealing about this character. Shit name, shit costume, shit origin, shit actress, the shit just goes on and on.

This sounds stunningly similar to comic version of Captain Marvel, who actually runs a concentration camp despite being a superhero.

>another Captain Marvel thread

Well, since (Disney) is papering the house and no other films are allowed in the theaters, it's all we can talk about this week.

Rey was charismatic as fuck.

Alternate headline: Captain Marvel sold most tickets in advance of any movie since 1 year ago.

Earthshattering

>beautiful, big-titted, blonde hollywood millionaire actress is out of touch and parrots brain-dead jewish communist propaganda
shocking

I don't even read comics anymore but I used to love listening to Diversity and Comics talk about Captain Marvel. It sounded like an absolute shitshow every time.

>big-titted

in the feminist fantasy world women have the same power as men and therefore would be producing the same quality of work as men.

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reddit spacing on post linking. good god how new are you?

What the fuck?

>beautiful, big-titted
That would make the movie halfway worth seeing. She's flat and average as fuck

This is very true. There is a rumor that Marvel Comics is going to have to go justify itself to the bean counters since the profit margin is thin for the money spent. Disney has a higher return liscensing tshirts than they do making marvel comics.

We might see them shutter Marvel and just loscense the IP to some indie jobbers.

>ladytagonist
oh god they're going to start saying "mantagonist" aren't they?

>>Man is an invincible badass that no one can touch

name one in the mcu. I'll wait

>Rey was charismatic as fuck.

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on this day incels fuck brie so hard their wizard powers were revoked

Come off it, Jay

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Flat is justice, but unfortunately for her it's not the social kind.

No, she wasn't.

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based and shitted pilled

For what it's worth majority of MCU leads are fucking boring specifically for that reason, they can't really be hurt, the most they can do is moderately fuck up and cause a loss of some bystanders lives which will be brushed aside until it needs to be dramatically brought up for the sake of stretching a paperthin plot called Civil fucking War. I think Peter Quill is the only legitimately good leading character in MCU and that's because he's almost goddamn normal compared to all the super geniuses and supermen with their primary flaw being conceit.