American film

Play Tetris and look at the news lol

It's remarkable how much "work" in offices is all just absolute bullshit.

fucking this. my office tried to do that open office shit and it made everyone fucking miserable. even the few people who supported it were hating it after a month.

then we couldn't go back to cubicles because they had already gotten rid of all the cubicle walls so we had to wait a few extra months until the company bought some second-hand piece of shit walls.

fuck managers

Unironically this
I'm working on a crossword puzzle right now

my office just went overboard with their open plan this year, guess they didn't get the memo

Why would they get the memo when one of the managers is probably friends with some open office designer kike.

>I believe that I am a disposable hunk of moving meat that should be subject to my employer's every whim, never refuse to work late or come in early or do anything at all that is asked of me, that I should be ecstatic to do even the most degrading of jobs, that I should cry with happiness at the thought of being asked to be a human footstool because there is no such thing as a bad job and that I bring my passion with me rather than follow it, that I should be beheaded if I make a single complaint about anything I find to be displeasing about my work, and that all challenges thrown at me by my job are entirely of my own making and solely my responsibility regardless of how many other people I may work with or how interconnected and teamwork based my work may be
>I hereby affirm that I am a hunk of subhuman shit with no rights or feelings created to be exploited by whichever multinational decides to do me the favour of sucking my soul dry and filling it with passive aggressive emails about mandatory workplace health and safety meetings

>be in cubicle
>nobody can see what you're up to unless they're actively snooping around
>get paid to shitpost at work

cubicles are the most comfy way to work and you cannot change my mind

Advance projects, get shit done, build networks

Basically shit europoors can’t comprehend

>advance projects
sounds like that garbage corporate speak from fight club
>You want me to de-prioritize my current reports until you advise of a status upgrade?

Yeah ok user. Just because you wouldn't know a streamlined efficiency investment from a centralized reintegration matrix doesn't mean that they aren't very real and very important things.

like every movie from the 90's and 80's is about how corporate culture and cubicles were sooooo dehumizing. And modern corporate culture is like big bang theory/reddit tier were wagie has to dance, dance wagie dance, no more cubicles, isnt it freeing, you get to stack your black spider man and female captain marvel funko pops on your desk.

Guess what gen x, cubicles were FUCKING COZY AND YOU COULD HIDE IN THEM, AND LIKE YOU DIDNT HAVE TO FUCKING TALK TO PEOPLE

So like Hawaiian shirt days in Office Space

Fpbp

Open plan is the fucking worst. No privacy at all and constantly being bothered by dumb fuck coworkers/managers.

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>Let's circle back to that item later, it seems out of scope
>I added Ganesh's team to the weekly meeting, I'm hoping to leverage some synergy between groups if we focus on our core competencies
>We can touch base during tomorrow's standup, give you some time to get the lay of the land
>I want to highlite our value add and show that this is a win-win
>I'm feeling out of the loop here, when was the last time Frank ran the numbers?
>Rupesh is going to do a deep dive into the data and perform a drill down into our key customer segments
>This initiative is really going to move the needle on our top KPIs
>We can already make this a game changer by taking care of some low hanging fruit
>Let's take that offline, ping me when you know you'll be available
>We're not trying to boil the ocean here, our north star hasn't changed

I'd fucking give my left nut to escape this corporate hellhole i'm in

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I think working in cubicles is comfy. It's nice to have your own little space

jesus christ

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>open office plan
It's just a way to get you to work from home.

>more people work from home
>less office space required
>???
>profit

What qualifications does it require to get a comfy office job bros?

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Lol suck it gramps

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t.

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You have to sell your soul to get one.

It's worse when you hear that shit in real life... and notice people making way more than you are saying that stupid shit.

The corporate America meme is real as ever.

People need at least a little bit of personal space, yeah.
I don't trust fuckers who don't acknowledge and respect that. It's unnatural to the extreme. Either they're robot people or sociopaths. Maybe robot sociopaths.

Have a soul to sell. People without a soul can't be controlled.

Corporate America is designed to make slaves... not don't fuck up or rock the boat or else you can't make your mortgage/ rent and your kids will be living on the street.

>circle back to that item later
>Hey user, I need you to check the version of the deck Marketing sent over
>I think Dan's team put it together & they don't really have an attention to detail, just check that all the fonts are the same and sizes don't change, standards you know
>Also check ahead and their reported metrics and charts tie to ours, we don't want repeat of last quarter
>Off by .8%? Go run the numbers for the monthly weighted average and a month end snapshot, replace their charts with whatever one has the best Quarterly growth
>Also you need to go and replace all the instances of "jive" with "jibe"
>Hey, we're going out for a drink, don't stay too late with, and catch us up when you're done. You're a lifesaver buddy

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Some user said summaries of summaries for the higher ups and same thing computers do with data, but when it's needed a human.

You prefer this? I don't

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>American film
Is there any OTHER kind of film, you wretched woman?

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My personal hell

nah too open

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If you're going to be a wagecuck a cubicle is the way to go. this shit is fucking nightmarish

>you can see through it
What's the fucking point unless you're working in a mcdonalds in the wrong part of town?

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Absolute hell, but at least they got god-tier chairs

>He thinks the cage is to keep others out

Why is it that the more expensive an office chair is, the less padding it has?

>my face listening to this corporate shit right fucking now

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My dream is too work in a comfy cubicle. I am tired of fucking landscaping. Been doing this for 10 plus years

>Be in open space
>You don't work more, you just pretend
>You get as much shit down, but it's just more stressful

>so how about those tps reports user

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Can you imagine being a wage slave?

>And the squirrels, they were married

had a boss like this who's job is just to bust balls and ruffle feathers and just forward our reports to upper management and feel like he's the greatest shit ever

karma got him and he got demoted lol

Im posting from a cubicles right now.

Cubicles are so comfy. I can show up to work and sleep at my desk to ease my hangover. I shit post on Yea Forums. Do a few hours of IT support when needed. Still get a massive raise because I can slack off in my cube and really get shit done when I am really needed.

Pretty similar interior to where I used to work but the windows were a lot bigger. Cubicle work is still soul destroying though, no matter how nice the place is.

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You need to take advantage of the fact that no one can see what you are up to. I have a cube in a low foot traffic area. I literally can stay up till 4 drinking, go to work and pass out. Take some calls, finish some tickets. I'm paid 20an hour to do 2 hrs of work a day.

I have been using my time wisely though. I studied and got my CCNA.

>boss lets idiot nigger coworkers slack off
>makes you work harder to compensate

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>Be an engineer
>Get to shit-talk with the tradesmen
>Also have to deal with corporate speak from management
What is this fresh hell

Yes yes, I did all of that. Was making 75k doing QA work on 401k plan administration, two days from home, going in late and leaving at 4. Still fucking hated it. Shit gets old after 15 years. Now I'm working harder for much less money and am happier.

This guy is an ultra rich Jew whose "work experience" is singing in musicals like an ultra queer and then pretending to do real work on a TV program. They should call it the G.O.Y.I.M. Pledge.

>tfw upper level managers get fired for incompetence and just hop to a new company in the exact same position because every fucking corporation hires horizontally nowadays in a giant game of musical chairs

all business school grads are full of shit and need to be gassed NOW

I'm more worried that someone will swing by and downsize this bloated department. I know I sound lazy, but no body has much to do. I got a raise because apparently I still do more than most.

I agree with that. Life kinda stops in cubicles. People just sitting at this job for years reading manga on their phones all day.

I got just got my CCNA, and just started applying. rather do more field related IT. Plus, I don't want to get fat sitting all day

I never understood what is it that people do in office jobs

How do I get one without an important college degree?

I don't want to break it to you but IT is such an unstable field. I've been laid off twice both times our division got moved to India. Its so easy to replace you with pajeets and its really infuriating how much you have to study and just get shat on by corporate.

my advice to you, widen your horizon, be as flexible as you can (study other IT fields don't get stuck on cisco, they're dying anyway) and look on how to make yourself self sufficient

>How do I get one without an important college degree?

Be Jewish, a mason, or the boss's nephew.

>he thinks those are business school grads
Business school grads are stuck in excel spreadsheet hell for eternity if they can even find a job, managers are mainly nepotists and cronies.

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I write term papers all day. Kinda interesting desu.

I have an office job and I work in IT. I don't have a degree.

Cisco isn't dying, that's nonsense. As for outsourcing, I'm fine because the contracting jobs I do require a security clearance and you can't outsource that shit.

This. So many Yea Forums posters are just dudes dicking around in their office jobs, like what do they even do?

just saying from my experience, my main is cisco but i moved on to cloud architecture and security. cisco is dying bro, more and more enterprises are moving to the cloud

I browse Reddit/Yea Forums for about 5 hours then "work" for another 5 hours. This work involves making sure the green lights don't turn red and when they do, I fix it. and paperwork.

Get your A+ cert. Work IT like me and this guy

Cisco looks good even if they don't run a single Cisco switch or router.

>wagies

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Now you realice why so many people in Yea Forums don't actually play videogames

Their is still bare metal somewhere. I plan on getting a welfare queen job at the university.

reeee, it's not dying. cisco is still a voip juggernaut and they still have a massive hold on the router/switch market (though we are getting a lot more Brocade switches in now lol)

and besides even if it were to be phased out, Cisco certs wouldn't become useless because the syntax between all these OSes are pretty similar

Quitting my cubicle job was the best decision I ever did. I went full office space mode and took a blue collar job. Now i get to work in open air, im in the best shape of my life, no deadlines.Im easily the least stressed I have been since my teenage years. The only drawback is slightly less money, but the rest of the shit easily outweighs it.

CCNA exam is one of the toughest entry exams

i'm just saying widen your horizon bro, cisco is shit in the firewall and AP department, their bread and butter is routing and switching, their voip is so fucking jewish it sickens me (i have ccie voice) that's why more and more companies are moving to skype for business to manage their calls

I always hear this but they don’t have anywhere near as many off topic threads as Yea Forums does

Yea Forums moderation is stricter i think they have more mods in there and topics move faster so shit off
topics usually get buried by the console war threads

It's easy and I got kids to feed. But ya, I rather work outside. I feel like the only non faggot at my job, my generation, millennials, is the worst. I'm the only 30 yr old here with a wife and kid. Everyone else here is a pozzed leftist living in permanent adolescence. I was in the military and come from a redneck background. It's a constant struggle to avoid saying the wrong thing.

Im an american shitposting from my cube now.

>uhm user, we've got to talk.
>See, everyone's pulling their weight in our team and it seems you're just doing the bare minimum to keep up.
>Like, look at Jody there, she's got two kids at school, takes the time to prepare their meals, gets them ready to school and still manages to meet deadlines given to her.
>Now, I know, things have been tough since several of your counterparts got laid off but that means we have to step up right?
>Uh, Y-Yeah, sure, I'll finish those tasks right away...
>Awesome. Hey another thing, Jody just asked for a half day since its her son's soccer practice and she has to pick them up, do you mind finishing her tasks that she left? Thanks
>O-Ok, sure thing...no worries...
>Oh, we need those tomorrow before the meeting. Brief Jody for your changes so she'll know how to present it. Thanks!

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Because padding ruins your body if you sit on it the whole day

Good times create weak men.

That was 20 yrs ago user. Today it's more open and less labyrinth.

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>I want open cubicles, I want to see what everyone is doing!
>No more shit posting or sleeping at your desk.

So glad my job never updated their cubes from the 90s.

I didn't know what to do with my life but I thought a cushy office job would be cool enough, so I started going to school and ended up interning at an office later that year

The most soulcrushing experience of my life, they couldn't pay me enough to do that again

>the good goy pledge

I have papers spread out on my desk and am jumping around them all day while doing my job, I only stop when I am taking a break to browse YouTube or Yea Forums. I would kill myself if I had to work in some open office environment.

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>corporate america
youtube.com/watch?v=JOkQJm_UGM4

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I'm a bank executive and browsing Yea Forums is the only thing keeping me sane. all fucking day i have to hear shit like these

maybe you're a stupid faggot

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>Hey boomer! How's retirement?

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Good lord how do they not neck themselves some time in their 50s

The analysts I work with are pretty laid back, and my bosses don't give me that crap. So that's ok, but yeah I need some sort of distraction throughout the day.

This is how I feel every day. All the papers matter, I need them, I need to reference them for my reports.

This is why you leftists will always be pathetic NEETs

I would actually rather be homeless than work there

cubicles are part of an open office plan. Its all shit and offices work far better.

the main reason there's an open office plan is for the bosses to get a drop on you if you're slacking off, you just can't hide behind those walls bucko

in my old office we had two desks per cubicle so you didn't even get your own space

those cable drops are disgusting who the fuck thought that was a good idea

I wish telecommuting was more popular. Likewise, I wish they'd be able to restructure work so we'd have to just work like a dog for 2-4 hours instead of be there for 8.

i had a job back then allowed for friday work from home. the pay wasn't great but being able to work from home is super

They don't want you to work from home because then they can't watch you. At the same time, they want you in an open office plan so they can watch you be miserable, plus save money from not having cubicle walls
I'm lucky that I found a job that is 100% remote, but we still have issues with the boss hiring lazy 3rd worlders and then wondering why work isn't getting done

If you don't decorate your cubicle and make it a more enjoyable space for yourself then you can't blame anyone else

>what is clean desk policy

I don't know I have a real job

Being a Techincal Engineer in sales meetings is the fucking worst.

youtu.be/BKorP55Aqvg

Everything in this video has happened to me numerous occasions and I get to watch the Deano salesman rack in a 50,000 commission while I have to deal with all the bullshit down the line.

Some yuroshit garbage it sounds like. Probably only allowed to have The Quran and dragon dildos on their desks.

I'm not a child, "clean desk policy" is not a term used around me, and if it was implemented I would quit and easily find a new job

based zoomers

I'd take a cubicle over the infinity desk we got at my job.

My work uses that exact office furniture. We have pretty nice 8x8 cubes with 6' tall walls.
Unfortunately we are moving to a building with smaller 8x6 cubes that are only like 4 ft high. I get to do the layout for my lab though and I'm giving myself a nice little office in there where no one will bother me.

Literally came here to post this lmao

>have standing desk
>not manlet
>can do my job while towering over the walls of my cubicle and judging the plebs around me.

Didn't they do a study that showed offices with cubicles were vastly superior to open offices? Like the workers were happier and more efficient with cubicles.

>let’s take that offline

Code for I’m gonna bitch at you in my office

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Imagine the smell from all the pajeets.

>work from home
>get a full body workout in, run, nap and masturbate 3 times and still get the same amount of work done as I would in the office

nope, its a code that "we're gonna waste more of your time with more meetings until you give us what we want"

Enjoy your fucked up back with shitty healthcare that won’t fix it

Because padding is shit. It collapses down to nothing when you sit on it for a while. Leather doesn't breathe and it makes your ass hot. Fabric stores dust and is impossible to clean.

The nylon mesh seats are god tier. Breathable, easy to clean, and it gives unwavering support for years.

This, officer work will destroy your soul but blue collar work will destroy your body.

>tfw got blind drunk again last night
>tfw boss keeps asking if I’m ok
>behind on everything

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This, I would fucking love a cubicle

>tfw hours to kill on office job but you cant risk going on Yea Forums so you spend the time on reddit

I do contract auditing in an office
Basically I look at a company's books and records and I double check the numbers and forumlas against scanned pdfs of signed invoices. I also make sure hours aren't being billed to things they shouldn't be billed to per contract agreements. Occasionally I'll go to the contractors site for floorchecks (interviewing workers to make sure they're doing what they're suppose to be doing).
I write a several page report on each section of the audit giving my opinion if the contractor is complying or not. In the end I summarize the results of each report into one final opinion.
If the contractor isn't complying with the terma of the conrract in some way, I calculate how much money they're wasting/how much work they'reffailing to perform and write a report on it.
There's a lot of referencing involved as well so lots of hyperlinking. Also a lot of tables.

this. its ethically acceptable here to browse reddit but you're fucking dead if you're ever caught browsing Yea Forums in here

>office job blocked almost all websites, even ones I needed for work
>they started trying to force me out like George in Seinfeld
>end up quitting anyway, huge sigh of relief in office, boss told me to leave the premises when I handed in my resignation
I could have stayed and tortured them all for a bit longer but I would have ended up killing myself

Just browse 4channel instead

Why did everyone hate you user?

explains why all the onions lanklets at my job started demanding that dumb shit.

I'm sorry you're not tall enough to see over your cube user.

Is auditing safe from automation(for now)? I still haven't decided if I should go into taxes or auditing.

what do these people actually do?

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Cubicles are for cucks. Open office is for cucks.

All employees deserve their own office room.

Fucking commies.

Yes, that's how many offices are in the US of A.

I browse on my phone so I can even type the n word and view nsfw content

I don't know and I'll never know. I was really quiet. My manager told me once that the boss didn't like me, so I guess it snowballed from there. Glad I telecommute now though because I hate office politics. I just want to work

Try working in a factory or a warehouse. You're on your feet all day, doing back breaking labour while your dipshit manager/supervisor is telling you that you're being way too slow despite the fact that you're running up and down the place. Seriously you office monkeys have no idea how well you have it.

Eh...managers where I work are pretty lenient. Granted, we get a ton of customers, so we can afford to always be overstaffed, which in turn means that nobody has to work very hard.

>all employees deserve [amenity not provided by capitalistic company]
>fuck commies
???

My office has only twelve people in it and it's comfy. No cubicles either.

This. I went from a cube farm to an open space whatever plan within the same company and building (new work area) and I hated every second. I’ve never wanted that promotion more than I do now, because it means I get to go back to a comfy cube.

>What do they even do lol

electronic data processing. these people are basically glorified user interfaces and serve as a bridge between computers and people who do the actual work.
you could also view them as digital monks. they do nothing but write all day. at first, when you are new, you actually have to think and learn. but after a few months, it all happens on a subconacious level and you become one of those mindless drones.
it's about as mundane as factory work, but less satisfying because you don't get a good workout sitting down for 8 hours.

I heard this shit every single day for only nine-ish months before I realized I needed to get a PhD and stay in academia forever. I want to continuously learn and build things, which is the opposite of what you do in industry. The offline one in particular means you are FUCKED.

>view them as digital monks. they do nothing but write all day
I never thought of this and it actually makes sense.

this is why automation is so fucking big right now. is it simple? is it repeatable? automate it. hell if they could automate each everyone they'll fucking do it, but sadly there are still a lot of functions that cannot be automated

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This is made up. Everyone knows you got caught bating to sissy hypno joi on your phone under the desk and fired

>tfw majored in automatic control
Hopefully we'll soon have every lower class subhuman dead or in chains by the end of the next decade

Depends on where you are in the private sector. Pick the right job and you'll be learning and actually producing

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Americans who work in places like this actually dupe themselves into thinking they're big important people doing something equally important. "Muh office" fags are always insufferable and overselling themselves.

Even many high paying jobs will be automated.

good for you user, you'll make it big. i really wish i wasn't so bored with programming that i could have actually done well with it. automation is on the rise and will continue to do so in 5-10 years

You know the guy they lay off in Office Space? That’s me, except I smile at everyone and kiss my bosses’ ass. About twice a month I have to go visit a client. Basically programmers are autustic assholes so they use me as a filter.

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>being a wage slave
Absolutely pathetic. The biggest redpill is to quit your job and become a farmer or an artisan for your small community.

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Everyone oversells themselves. "I'm not a , I'm a ."

how's that working out for you, fucking larper

Name 36 movies

Oh yeah. Just like that. Just press 1 and do it. Why didn't any of us think of this?

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my dad was a welder and i actually considered going to trade back then. i'm pretty much good with it but i didn't take the licensure exam and yeah my dad's eyes are fucked up so there's that

Type up spreadsheets, answer questions for customers, and pretend to look busy.

Sedintary lifestyles are actually one of the biggest causes of low test. At least the blue collars get fit and that extra testosterone boost

>being this poor

>tfw my own office

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I wish I had the guts to do this. I would be shitting all over the hard work I put into getting degrees I really believed in though.

>work blue collar job at steel pipe plant
>unironically thought I would trade my job for a comfy cube
>this thread

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Yeah show those /n/iggers whose boss.

yeah pretty much. the only ones that i saw that are practically working all day were these bunch of germans that visited our site and worked on the clock like fucking robots, 15 minute break-work-lunch-work-break-clock out. the japs are pretty much bullshitting their hours and barely did any work and just overstayed at the office lmao

It didn't have to be like this, you know.

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t.corporate shills
Enjoy a life of misery and despair
>caring about material wealth

>implying anyone really wants to work at all
The whole idea behind all this automation and all these machines was that we'd be able to work less. Guess that didn't pan out.

No it didn't.

he was right about everything

Are office jobs really that bad? I've only ever worked retail and labor, dreaming of having an office job because the increased pay, not dealing with customers, and not destroying my body.

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Lol, I'm trying to get out of it. I'm planning on moving to the middle of bumfuck nowhere and live off the grid. But you're still a retard for making it sound like it's as simple as, "just do it, bro."

i remember corporate selling us automation that it'll be good for us that we'll be able to focus on the more important tasks and be able to utilize our time more

they laid off half of the force a year later lmao

But you’re here forever user, so you can’t be off the grid.

You destroy your body in other ways from sitting all day and eventually it will wear your soul down to a husk of your former self.

Judging from this thread I'd take the destroying my body over destroying my soul

For you, maybe.

Management likes open office plans because it shrinks employee footprint in half. You can shove twice as many drones into the same space, cutting down massively on the space that needs to be leased. That's why they do it.

>Cubicles are far better than an open office plan.
how am I supposed to discuss soccer and other trivial shit with my coworkers if we're all in cubicles

Nah, my job is comfy office job as a corporate analyst.

In my shit opinion retail is the best of the three. You’re not constantly sitting and wasting time like in an office job (what I do now), but you’re also not constantly on your feet destroying your body (what I used to do after retail). At least in retail you fuck off while doing easy shit and having fun pushing buttons. If retail paid what real office work paid I’d still be at KMart or RadioShack having fun with the lads.

>The whole idea behind all this automation and all these machines was that we'd be able to work less. Guess that didn't pan out.
it never was, it was always about cutting costs

One day I'm gonna get the fuck out of here. One day we all will, user. We'll live where you can see the stars at night, and we'll hunt, and fish, and hike, and farm, and live how men were made to live.

I'm here because I have internet. And I have internet because I don't have to pay for it. Repeating expenditures are the enemy. Destroy repeating expenditures. That includes phone, gas, and electricity.

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this is wrong.

>open office plan shrinks employee footprint in half.
this is mega wrong.

So much this. I've seen both ends of the spectrum. While I worked at a warehouse manning a laser cutter and had to wait hours for some things to be cut, I wasn't even allowed to sit down to take a breath. Now in my new IT job whenever I don't have anything to do between calls/tickets, I can just check wikipedia or the news or take a shit on company time. It's the tits

>my new IT job
>between calls/tickets
as a software developer, i am smugly smirking at this post

Did you actually need a degree in IT to get IT work? I can fix like 90%+ of day to day computer issues, but I don't have a degree or anything. What goes into the job? My limited experience on the subject is that people seem to think that really basic issues are somehow very difficult to fix, and that most problems can just be googled. The IT guy where I used to be told me and my friend that it's mostly just googling solutions.

>be simple User Helpdesk dude
>official job title is IT Consultant
They make it seem more important and I'm fine with that

My (high-paying) job is basically six hours of fucking around on my phone and the internet, and then four hours of responding to emails or sitting on conference calls where I'm asked to do things that are going to be near-impossible and result in much harassment by my boss as I hit each roadblock

Depending on which of those two things I'm doing at the time, my opinion varies.

Ooooft digits

Protip: your coworkers don’t want to talk to you and are annoyed by you but don’t have the balls to tell you to stfu

Not if you want a entry level IT helpdesk job. If you want to do network or systems engineering or focus on automation/software development, then yeah a degree is gonna get you there.

Protip: your personal experience doesn't apply to every other random person

if you're on the helpdesk end job, no you don't actually need a degree or cert, its basically experience, but if you want to move higher up, you need to get some certs in. Majority of the business today need / require computers / databases and making sure those are operational requires an IT staff

Oh sweet summer child...

for me it's life with the lads
youtube.com/watch?v=R3nEW1It4Ss

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>americans are so autistic and cucked by their bosses they don't talk to each other
lmao I bet you feel bad for evading overime too do you

>this entire post

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Bill?

This is more like my office. It's fine unless you need to spend any significant time on the phone. Then, it's easy to get distracted and you bother your coworkers.

Do you sometimes get this strange kind of sadness when you think about you former cubicle. They did the same in my office and I unironically had dreams where my cubicle was back and i was so happy but then I woke up crying. What the fuck. I can't be the only one.

How do you even fart on those things?

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