Does Yea Forums have a single criticism that can be said without using the words "SJW", "chink"...

bad comedy and boring action.

The whole idea of Luke believing in a father he barely came into contact with and then later deciding to stand over his sleeping nephew with a lit lightsaber contemplating murdering him is pretty retarded

It stinks on ice!

yeah sure whole movie that encompasses multiple days per Rey's training was really only 17 hours or so which includes Rey traveling both away from them and back.

It's a bad movie.

>traveling both away from them and back.
Oh fuck, I didn't think of that.

It's pointless.

It gave me AIDS.

>hyperspeed ram

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"kike"?

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Forced "comedy" and just boring. Couldn't be fucked to even finish it.

The comedy, the filler, the story, the logic, and THIS.

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How about the story being such a disjointed mess it's more like a fucking fever dream of a daytime soap opera than an actual script of a four billion dollar franchise? How about the fight scenes, sets, costumes, and alien designs being uninspired shlock.

The politics are there just to insulate the people behind TLJ from any an all criticism. And for the most part that fucking worked. But shit is shit, even if it's wearing a pussy hat and identifies with a demographic the ruling class has declared to be a protected species.

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Oh shit, I can’t. How didn’t this win best picture?

*it stinks on salt

Luke dies because a nigger and his asian girlfriend couldn't park properly.
Weapons literally disappear during the lobsterman fight.
Everything about the memespace ram.

Awful editing

uhhh never thought about this. Holy shit. Movie is fucken trash

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The movie literally starts on a "yo mama" joke.
Lucas could contain his need for HAHAH PEEPEEPOOPOO jokes for an hour+ into his movies, even at their worst.
It took Johnson two minutes.

It's fucking shit mate literally one of the worst movies ever made. It didn't have the right to disappoint me the way it did

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This movie was so fucking bad. There's like 10 things wrong with just the one scene where Rose stops Finn from sacrificing himself

the real sad part is that's not even the worst of it. someone post the other one

It made me contemplate suicide for a while after seeing it.

it took nothing from star wars but the setting and did a complete reset on the plot. and it is not good. and the villain being an inept angsty teen is a long way from darth vader and the emperor or even the sith in the prequels. the worldbuilding is awful. the acting is awful. the casting is awful. the screenplay and dialogue are all awful. it is a vehicle to market toys and theme park rides to 7 year olds now, it is not good and if you like it you are actually stupid.

oh wait was this about the latest star wars movie? i didn't see it, i'm talking about the force awakens. i would bet a good amount everything i said applies to that movie too though.

I have not watched it and have no plans to

Misplaced comedy
Nonsensical messages
Contradictory themes
Detonates the canon
A MuhRey Sue with low agency
Absolutely no set up for the next one

Addendums after thinking for a couple minutes on it.
Snoke being a wet fart.
Rey's parentage being a wet fart (moreso in how she reacts than what it actually is.)
The fucking dice they keep trying to make a 'thing'.
Phasma continuing to be a fucking joke.
A lot of halfway decent footage that was completely ripped for shit that was entirely irrelevant (most notably the extended Phasma fight and the bit with Luke fooling Rey into thinking a party the little nun people are throwing is actually a pirate raid)
In addition to what people said about Rey Canto Blight and where the Resistance ships are are LITERALLY ACROSS THE FUCKING GALAXY FROM EACH OTHER when even nucanon material's stated hyperspace travel takes a while

This. Literally defeated the name

they killed luke skywalker

Kylo's actually one of the only mildly interesting bits.
And both he and Hamill are trying their damndest with the shitpile of a script they have, as is Del Taco despite his much smaller role.
Otherwise spot on.

it will be quite embarrassing when you actually google the quote you posted and find out it doesn't exist

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yeah how about another. Rey lived her entire life on a desert planet where water is so precious it's expensive and rare. yet somehow she knows how to swim completely despite never seeing a body of water before except in her dreams. like seriously why didn't she drown when she went into that cave, how'd she know how to swim? really no one thought about this while making the movie

Those are all valid criticisms of this movie though

Weakest military strategy (from both sides) of the entire franchise.

Even the actors know it's shit

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Toxic masculinity

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This gets glossed over far too much, and it really sums up the sprawling, massive disaster that was TLJ

We had 6 Star Wars movies that told us in detail how Anakin came to be Vader, and how Luke would grow to redeem him. Then, offscreen, FOR NO REASON, Luke decides to kill the son of his best friend and sister

why does this movie feel like a scary movie spoof? the whole movie is
>LOL WHAT IF
as in
>LOL WHAT IF YODA WAS A SHITHEAD
>LOL WHAT IF LUKE JUST SKEWERED PALPATINE ON HIS THRONE
>LOL WHAT IF THE REBELS JUST GOT FUCKED ON HOTH
>LOL WHAT IF LUKE FELL TO THE DARKSIDE BUT REALLY HE DIDNT LOL
>LOL WHAT IF VADER KILLED THE EMPEROR BUT THEN HE TRIED TO KILL LUKE
>LOL WHAT IF THE AWING PILOT THAT KAMAKAZED THE SSD WASNT A PILOT BUT A 2018 POLITCALLY TOPICAL WOMAN
the whole movie just feels like an alternate universe

the most hilarious part about that is you can tell they edited the fucking sword out but left the scene intact instead of filming it over or cutting it so it's not like someone didn't notice

Destroyed a shit ton of stuff in the lore and ruined the franchise.
How are they going to do space battles in the future?
What about liea flying through space after flying motionless for minutes? No force user flies.
Why didn't they just evacuate the majority of the resistance via escape pods like what finn and rose did? They were able to lightspeed back.
Why does Holdo hide the plan to everyone? What is the point of that?
During the siege scene, how did rose fly/drive faster than finn and had enough speed to not only catch up to him but to be able to hit him full on at a 90 degree angle? How did they even make it back before the doors started to close?
Leia states that they will find allies in the outer rim. The whole point of the outer rim is to be away from politics and the galactic government hence why finn wanted to escape there during seven. Why would now the resistance, who's entire force and supporters can fit into the millennium falcon, go ask for support of thugs and criminals in their fight against the comedically terrible First Order?
Why does Luke not act like Luke at all? At the slightest feeling that kylo was going bad, he sneaks in and tries to kill him. Luke attempted save and rescue Darth Vader in episode 6 even after cutting off his arm because he knew there was still good in him.
What the fuck was going on with snoke? He was a nobody? He just randomly controlled the first order and proceed to have one of the most anticlimactic deaths in history.
Phasma was hyped up to be an amazing badass storm trooper yet she gets fucked and sucked repeatedly. When they imprison Rose and Finn on the Supremacy, they were surrounded by a legion of storm troopers and Phasma. Holdo then uses the FTL attack and suddenly every storm trooper dissapeared and phasma is still alive somehow and all of a sudden, BB-8 comes in on a AT-ST (the first time we see one in the new trilogy) and just saves the day.

This movie fucking sucked.

wasnt the awing pilot a chink too
either way she was cute than the fat gook that followed finn and jake around, should have swapped places desu, I might have given a shit about her GRR CAPITALISM speech if she was cute

Rian has no concept of three dimensional space and yet was allowed to direct a movie for a series with spaceships blowing each other up as the main theme.

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really? what could possibly be worse than locking with your own team mate and then somehow get blown back by something

>No force user flies
Yun did.
>Holdo hide the plan to everyone
Just to Poe (who's just been demoted for being a fuckhead) and a bunch of nobodies. There's also the weird implication there could have been a spy that's there but never outright stated?
>The whole point of the out rim is to be away from politics and the galactic government
The OR is fucking huge and has everything politically from Hutts, a large contingency of the og rebels, seppie holdouts, and lord knows what else. Either way if I lived in the boonies I'd take up the nearest shotgun and start blasting these faggot neo-nazis too, and I'm a Remnantaboo.
Rest of these are valid.

This

see this but that's not all, there's also another one where instead of attacking a guy just spins off away from her

all they had to do was digitally make it drop for a couple frames

Actual space combat accuracy has never been the strong suit of Star Wars Also the pizza slice megacannon has the fighter compliments supposed to be watching its back, but even then it barely fended off one half decent ace and a bunch of the worst fucking bombers to ever exist so who the fuck knows.

Every vehicle is a rehash from the Original trilogy. There is not one good vehicle design that is memorable in the slightest. The newest vehicle designs are a simple red mark on Tie fighters and orange marks on X Wings.

The movie is bascially shit for disregarding the established story in the last 7 movies, all for some 15 minutes of shock value fame.

It killed a 30+ year old beloved series.

i love how snokes body is just chilling in the background on the throne. Of course it would still be there but it just looks fucking stupid like an actual metaphor for nuwars sitting on a throne of mediocrity.

Why can't we get honest to good lightsaber fights? Clone Wars tv series made it so god damn awesome. The Throne Room scene in general is a disaster with the worst choreography.

As a continuation of The Force Awakens it does a poor job of following through on story threads and continuity that it started.

>Yun
he aint canon no more but i get your point

>Could have easily slashed her across with the other sword.
>It just disappears.
Why is this movie such garbage?

the popcorn was cold

>>No force user flies
>Yun did.
how did she fly with the force
she never had any training and also how did she not die immediately in space

I like how with shitty movies like this and spiderverse you filter out the important words

Poor quality writing, underdeveloped cliche charachters, inconsistent with previous installments, boring. I could go on.

If she's Vietnamese, isn't the proper term Gook?

Oh and I didn't like the fat gook

Russia told me movie was bad, praise kek.

>Just to Poe (who's just been demoted for being a fuckhead) and a bunch of nobodies.
Poe isn't just some fuckhead, he's the second in command. and the bunch of nobodies apparently includes the entire crew. no one knows what's happening.

Zero world building.
Worse characters than the prequels. Completely unlikable lead characters. Mediocre villain.
It's not a retconn, but it might as well be as the story and struggles of Luke and the Rebel Alliance from the original trilogy is invalided as null and void as a new big bad organization with unlimited resources and comically large construction projects that make the Death Stars look like child's play things somehow exists.
Stupid shit like the entire method of operation of the Starkiller base (what a garbage name btw) makes no sense, even when you try to make it make sense in the Star Wars universe. For example, how the planets are all right next to each other for some retarded reason (not how solar systems work), how the "laser" travels faster than light despite them showing it move relatively slow, to how it splits up at the end in the most retarded fashion. It's all just a retarded super weapon. At least the Death Star makes sense; it's a gigantic fucking laser / plasma weapon that fires a local gigantic superpowerful laser that can blow up planets and shit. It makes sense, it's cool, etc. Starkiller is the product of JJ just wanting something as cool as the death star, but not realizing how fucking retarded it was in the first place. The movie didn't even need a superweapon bad guy installation either, it's just all a waste of time.

As far as Last Jedi goes, it has many of the above flaws and more in that it's just not interesting. It has a few interesting to look at scenes, but I don't care about anything happening on screen. The alien designs are uninspired. The scenes on the "casino planet" were pointless and just awful in general. Honestly the idea that they're "on the run" in space is also ridiculous as fuck, the fact that they were able to leave and then rejoin the rebel ship was laughable. If that was the case why didn't they just evacuate everyone by that method? Again, you have shit like Snoke having no build up. Was I supposed to care?

Sneed's Feed and Seed

Repetitive. All the new things are either filler or lead up to nothing.

That was mostly a joke response.
But star wars space is weird, given there's sound, explosions, drag and all.
On top of that Kanan survives in a vaccuum for a lil while in Rebs, plus the Force giving you a gimme action in times of peril isn't exactly a new concept. Luke uses it to destroy the death star despite the lump sum of his training being a couple hours playing wii baseball with his eyes closed

>he's the second in command
*was the second in command

>Why didn't they just evacuate everyone by that method?
The tracking shit probably would have picked them up if it was more than a one-off buzzing off, most likely.

give one rebuttal without the words "White",
"Male", or "Incel".

Woops.

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It felt like a rewrite of a movie where Leia an heroes into the Imperial flagship and Luke doesn't die from running out of mp.

>Luke doesn't die from running out of mp
It's less that and more that he cut himself off completely for so long. Like if instead of lifting the X-Wing Yoda just tried to chuck it like a football. Or somebody straight out of rehab given a scarface-tier mountain of cocaine.

it's trash

/thread

he wasn't second in command before he was demoted. he became 2nd in command because everyone else ahead of him was killed on the bridge.

>two massive spaceships "pursuit"
>first order can send thousands of tie fighters to reach them
>only sends like 20 ships once and fucks off

They only sent 4 tie fighters kek

HOW THE FUCK DO YOU NEED FUEL TO KEEP GOING IN SPACE? YOU ARE MOVING AT A CONSTANT FORCE IN SPACE, THERE IS NO AIR RESISTANCE. WHY WOULD THEY SUDDENLY STOP IN THE MIDDLE OF SPACE?

The pacing is bad and the story doesn't develop.

This is the core of what makes TLJ so fucking reprehensible: nothing that happens in the entire plot makes a goddamn bit of sense in the context of the other films. Not even it's direct prequel, TFA. It's like somebody made a parody of Star Wars using the same characters played by the same actors, but instead of parodying the original in good fun, it did it in a mean-spirited and destructive way.

How about this, try defending anything in this movie without bringing up the visuals

Shoe horned political activism

The climax of a battle from an Ewok cartoon is better put together than a world breaking space battle that the best collection of cool wine aunts Disney could buy.

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Social justice film

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>did it in a mean-spirited and destructive way
You're not wrong. Did you also catch the message where we're supposed to let go of the past?

>bombs don't just stick inside the bay

it looks like what farts smell like

not an argument

The entire plot goes absoutely fucking nowhere.

>the jedi must end!
nope
>the books must burn!
nope
>I must sacrifice myself!
nope
>the order must end!
nope
>leia is dead!
nope
>romance subplot?
nope

All the jokes fall flat. All the acting is terrible besides Adam Driver. The final fight has no weight (no pun intended) retroactively. The entire first scene of this film makes the entire first film a literal set up to a punch line. They hired Justin Theroux for a throwaway character. Need I say more?

i just love those little abominations driving that thing. they crack me up every time.

Ya, in the image, they are turned on outside. It does not matter too much, they are so fucking dumb. WW2 space bombers. We had Slave one dropping sonic charges in space, then Y-wings as bombers because George wasnt retarded. The we get slow paper mache bombers that have to hit a stationary target IN SPACE. The Star destroyer could have just moved or left, but for plot it had to be a strip of land.

actually the only argument. Your entire argument is based off hating white men.

There’s literally so much wrong with this movie you can set any parameters you want and I’ll still be able to tell you why it sucks.

The truly stupid part is that the bombs arm inside the bay. They aren't equipped with a basic WW2 era safety feature.