HATERS WANNA HATE
LOVERS WANNA LOVE
I DON'T EVEN WANT NONE OF THE ABOVE
I WANT TO PISS ON YOU
HATERS WANNA HATE
LOVERS WANNA LOVE
I DON'T EVEN WANT NONE OF THE ABOVE
I WANT TO PISS ON YOU
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THEY ATE ME
A FUCKIN SHARK ATE ME
JUICE?
THAT WAS A GOOD ONE
OIL?
the lines i remember from this 3 god damn season show and nothing else
>she was a nigger lover
>i'm rick james, bitch (kids still say that it in high schools to this day)
>fuck yo couch
>_______ is a hell of a drug
>wacarnolds
>if they use linux, tell 'em our system is down
DRIP DRIP DRIP
OH SHIT IT'S WAYNE BRADY SON
I lied. I forgot the excellent "wrote this song in 94" skit
ONLY THING THAT MAKES MY LIFE COMPLETE
IS WHEN I TURN YOUR FACE TO A TOILET SEAT
>wacarnolds
that's still my favorite skit personally
>whose gloves are these? who fuckin, OJ?
>BABY'S CRYIN. BABY'S CRYIN
>rib sandwich is coming back on tuesday, guess who ain't getting one?
>ew nigga you smell like french fries
>I heard Calvin got a job, man. I'm proud of him. Let's go rob that nigga
WACARNOLDS IS TEARING THIS FAMILY APART
IM
RICK
JAMES
B I T C H
you in the back, you ain't the shit
you bought a gin and tonic but you didn't even tip
and if you hit this table one more time then the record might skip-might skip
I told you stop hitting the table
DONT
DROP
THEY SHOULD'VE NEVER GAVE YOU NIGGAS MONEY
pray to god don't drop that shit
I'd buy anything s Jackson would make just for the novelty factor. Like if he went full Shaq and branded everything
>There's a thin line between fries and shakes
the leanest burger in the world could be the MEANEST burger in the world if you cooook it that waaaaay...I gotta stop smoking this shit right here!
I got it wrapped up in this special CIA napkin
We traveled all the way back through time.... to call ya a cracka
they made an entire movie based on the black kkk member. they called it black kkklansman
it's not that good
Because it's historical revisionism and not just balls out crazy comedy
Silky doesn't even know you and he hates your guts!
what can I say about that coat that hasn't already been said about Afghanistan? It looks bombed out and depleted.
HOOTIE HOO
What the FUCK was his problem?
GAME
BLOUSES
I would say something about your bitches but it looks like you ate them
We got indoctrinated.
japans sendin playstations
oil? bitch you cookin?
THAT NIGGA TRIED TO KILL MY FARTHA
WE CAN'T TRUST RANDOM NIGGAS
stankonia has committed to dropping bombs over baghdad
Oil? Bitch you cookin?
this show only had a handful of good sketches
most of it was mediocre, forgettable shit and music performances
GAY PEOPLE ARE GETTING MARRIED!!!!!
What are some forgettable sketches?
>some people think the cucumber tastes better pickled.
Why doesn't netflix just give Dave a billion dollars to produce another sketch show?
YALL
NIGARS
NEED 2 KOOK UP
SOME KOKAIN
WIF
B'KING SODA
AND SELL IT
ALL DA BEST
CORNROLLA
P.S: ppppppprrrrrrrr
N-I-G-G-A-S
the one where i think he gets a boner in bed with his wife and for some reason they don't fuck
WU TANG
The meanest burger in the world
Can be the meaaaaaaaanest burger in the world
If you cook it that way
>huh?
I smell your lightsaber
i just bought this baby straight cash
I JUST BOUGHT THIS BABY CASH
M
A
R
S
MARS BITCHES
I'm shuttin down the studio y'all
Lookit me amurrica, lookit how Tron is livin
FOR THE CITAAAAY
Spooky.
because there was actually a team of white guys doing the writing. dave's own standup is shit 12-yr old tier humor
HOL' UP CHUCK, I GOT YA GURL!
IT'S DA ROC. HOLLA.
>jokes and jokes and jokes and jokes
>spaghetti spaghetti
YA'LL NEED TO DIVERSIFY YA'LL BONDS
YES THEY DESERVED TO DIE AND I HOPE THEY BURN IN HAYLE
We bout to go to war, it's a good idea to invest in some nuclear bombs
I justed went to the wikipedia page. In season one, the vast majority of episodes only have one good and/or memorable sketch. Season 2 brings it up to 2 per episode. Not that there's anything wrong with that. Sketch shows are volume businesses. It's really tough to get 3 great sketches per show for any sustained period of time. Your only hope is to get one great sketch per episode and not be offensively unfunny with the remainders. At the end of the day, the audience will remember the good stuff, forget the rest, and have a positive opinion about the show.
>[Neal] went from “Here’s Dave and the white writer” to “here’s Dave and the white nigger”
OOH OOH AH AH OOH OOH AH AH
I'M KILLIN PEOPLE, WE DRINKIN MALT, WE BANGIN CHICKS WITH NO RUBBERS AND ALL THAT SON
YOU LOOK SICK, CHUCK, LIKE YOU JUST WALKED UP FROM GROUND ZERO
>gettin paid, gettin paid!
I always quote this when I get my paycheck
Literally the first sketch which is an outdated at that time parody of a car commercial
And sketch they did live like when the white girl speaks his mind or Insider the actor’s studio
is pimping...easy?
What? Wasn't the whole reason why he ended the show was because he was getting too much freedom and felt he was going too far with the skits he was doing? Wouldn't that imply he played a role in the creation of the show?
hell yeah
>most of the kino comes from Dave and other comedians guest starring riffing on shit
Cmon son
I love the fact that Chuck got whiter and pastier as the seasons went on. By the lost episodes he looked like the dude from powder
you need to diversify yor bonds nigga
Breast milk you made my daaaayyyy
That is somehow correct.
The co-writer of the show was the white guy who didn't know the lyrics to the old sitcom, and he got a point for it, because
>i could never discern the lyrics, it sounded like ___________
>i never knew those either. good point
it was something about a chow line
That’s Chappelle’s formula. Similar to family guy.
>I’m Rick James bitch!! XD
HANGIN IN A JURAY
Shoot it!
>hey good game man
>I wish I could say the same for you
I got stabbed and I dont know what I did!
Computer Blue
katie got some big ass tittays
its a remix edition
of a song about pissin
fucking idiots
And here comes Ashy Larry's dumb ass
I hope all the bad things in life happen to you, and nobody else but you!
said the nigger
god this shit is fuckin Shakespearean
Flipper? I know him as James, the nigga hating dolphin. That's what they used to call him, They used to come by the pool and they use to throw him in the pool, you know, to scare the black people.
Sorry you fell for the family guy/Chappell’s show formula. It’s not your fault, most of the general population does.
>at a bbq
>i love you
>love you too dog
>lets get married man
>LISTEN CLOSE AS LIFE TURNS ITS PAGES
>MAKAVELI HERE KICKIN' RHYMES FOR THE AGES
Its literally not the Beter formula tho
>No man not the stairs!
I JUST WISH I HAD...MY SCIZZAAS
best sketch
youtu.be
What is a chicken head?
More like the perception a lot of the fans of the show wasnt what dave wanted. i dont really think it had to do with what neal was writing. dave complained white people would just quote lines from the show with nigger in his face and it depressed him. hes a shit comic now but i do think chappelle show was ahead of its fucking time and neal only escaped because he wasnt in the spotlight
DYLAN
DYLAN
DYLAN
DYLAN
AND DYLAN
Cambodian breast milk
White people love Wayne Brady, because he makes Bryant Gumbel look like Malcolm X.
YOU THINK MANDELA DOESN'T KNOW WHAT'S HAPPENING IN THE STREETS???
Arnold Schwarzenegger will divorce his wife and marry Shirley Temple Black and she will be Mrs. Shirley Temple Blacknegger.
Can't remember
Dudes night out. The commentary said it was the only sketch he had to pump in fake laughs because the audience was silent.
PEE PEE
POO POO
Chow lines are good!
based and hivemind pilled
checked
That's impossible, Rhonda. How can you sleep when you're high on crack? Chinese riddle for you.
That old lady that dies from too much wacarnolds
katie have some big ass tittays
Well, Big Daddy Kane would say that pimpin ain't easy
IMMA TELL YOU SOMETHING ABOUT ME JOE ROGAN YOU MIGHT NOT KNOW
I never liked the freeze frame have to think this through oh no it got worse and worse narration one. When things get real or something like that.
The one with Chappelle looking in the Asian future camera is dumb too
Correction, I had sex with Katie.
>tfw no cute shitposter bf to hivemind with and get trips
This was great. Mos Def was always a treat
based double dubs tfwnobf poster
Based
But Yasin's gravely accent always annoys me
I say this shit all the time to this very day
>he filed for divorce from his wife
>when we asked "why, after 19 years of marriage?"
>he responded "because ... she's a nigger lover"
Fisticuffs
>I stab a dude with a butter knife for fisticuffs
>just cause!
his old stand ups were better than the show
pro-tip : you can't
>you know what I like about San Fran… and the reason I picked this city to do my special is because… of all the major cities in America, somehow, people get along here better… than anywhere else I’ve seen in the country. That’s right. And I always admire San Fran for that. And today, I’ve realized how you did it. Put all the niggers on the other side of that bridge. They sure ain’t happy on that side. You leave San Francisco, they’re like, ”Bye, thanks for coming to San Francisco. ”Come back in April, we’re having a sale on Birkenstocks.” When you get to the other side, ”Welcome to Oakland, bitch.” Click. Click.
It’s fucking crazy.
>no I’m serious I really can’t hear
one of the more random lines we'd always quote among friends was
>i peed...it was me!
how come they didnt found big and tupacs murderer, but they arrest OJ the next day??? nicole simpson cant rap?!?!
MAYDAY MADAY WE HAVE A CRACKHEAD LIFTING UP THE BUS
>Elian Gonzalez
lol
>friends
For us it was
>Ungawa!
I've been quoting that for so many years now. It's too good.
Can't find the first part but this skit always kills me
youtube.com
forgot about this one
you ever see that behind the scenes shit with chappelle making fun of the freestyle guy?
came up in ya face, oops pow suprise!
>before Dave Chappell had 3 kiiidss
what can a nigga do
when half the people voted for George W
I'm talkin bout George W Smith
he ran for city council out in oakland
you probably didn't hear about him
I'm not alive
thug life
Can’t think of any bad ones off the top of my head but Ribs sleep aid is underrated as fuck
cc.com
One two three four FIF
Dat piss was digital
as I understand it, the final straw for Dave was that they wanted him to do some kind of Medea/Big Mama/etc. bit where he either had to dress in drag or wear a fatsuit or something
He told them he hates that kind of humor and wouldn't do it, but they just kept pushing him
He finally had enough and said he'd quit if they didn't rewrite the script, at which point they just handed him another script which they'd had all along. He realized they were trying to turn him into just another minstrel show so he quit.
JURASSIC PARK
DRINK, BITCH
Let’s try it out...
That sounds familiar. Have a link?
I PUT YOU IN A FULL NELSON, ITS A PUN BITCH. CRY FREEDOM! CRY THE BELOVED COUNTRY!
im the only person i know who loves the mandela bootcamp skit.
>the itis
And all this time I thought it was The Boondocks that taught me that word.
He noticed the (((pattern)))
youtube.com
the actors studio one, the black history skit abt the black dude who shit in a whites only bathroom. boring af
THAT NIGGA TRIED TO KILL MY FATHHHA
Amazing
RED ROCK
RIP Charlie "Darkness" Murphy
youtube.com
You can name good sketches for days. Are there any bad sketches?
"Why treat the customer this way?"
Why?
Because fuck'em, that's why.
>man Calvin got a job good for him
>let’s rob that nigga
Dude's Night Out was mentioned upthread. Some others off the top of my head:
- Life As A Video Game
- Real Club vs Music Video
I suppose it makes sense that it's hard to remember the forgettable sketches.
name ONE sketch comedy show with a better hit/miss ratio
Kids in the Hall.
YOU'LL NEVER FEEL
QUITE THE SAME
WHEN YOU GET A WHIFF
OF MA HERSHEY STAINS
Unironically WKUK but the overall quality isn’t close
Man, I still remember being a kid heating up some taquitos in the microwave getting ready for the new episode to come on. Miss those days.
I was going to mention them. I wouldn't say they are super memorable but I can spend a good amount of time on youtube watching some of their stuff.
Show was racist and only got away with it because a black person helmed it and BOONDOCKS was exploitative of mental illness.
WHAT CAN A NIGGA DOOOOO
WHEN HALF THE PEOPLE VOTED FOR GEORGE DOUBBA-YOUUUU
IT'S A BITCH
FUCK GEORGE W
CAN'T BE TRUE
I WANNA CHOKE HIM CUZ HE A SNITCH
I'M TALKIN BOUT GEORGE W. SMITH
FROM CITY COUNCIL
HE RAN IN 93
OUT IN OAKLAND
YOU PROBLY DIDN'T HEAR ABOUT HIM
Negrodamus
I WROTE THIS SONG IN 94
Yea that wasn’t great but Paul Mooney Movie review was hilarious
>you know that’s a front right? They sell drugs in barber shops
The hardcut after he says it was hilarious.
You know what the secret to keeping the show fresh is, Dave?
>What?
You gotta... You gotta...
>WHAT? TALK TO ME!
You gotta............................. I'm dead.
The last nigga on earth, starring Tom Hanks
>first the Mexican with brad Pitt, now the last samurai with Tom cruise. Maybe they’ll produce my movie, the last nigga on earth starring Tom hanks
based
I'M NOT ALIVE
NIGGA CAN FLY MAN
HE BELIEVES IN HIMSELF
Paul Mooney is always great. Even when the joke itself isn't that funny.
What about
>GAME...blouses.
Penis in the popcorn cup... Brilliant.
90% of the skits in the final season are amazing.
AW YOU AINT SEEN NOTHING YET
WAIT TILL YOU SEE HIM HIT
WAAIT TILLL YOOU SSEE HIIM HIIT
WAAAIIT TILLL YOOOUU SSSEEE HIIMMM HIIIIIT
I thought the Jon Mayer one about what type of instruments different races would dance to slightly amusing but mostly cringe worthy, however it was elevated by them playing the facts of life theme together at the end of the episode.
>then his wife threw her titties in my hands, it was weird your honor
>you grabbed my wifes titties I SAW YOU
kek
>you big lipped beast
can i still traffic rocks to the community
Juice is hood kino. The soundtrack is good as well if you're a rapfag.
youtube.com
>doo doo butter
Weak ass Comedy Central taking down the video
youtube.com
That's the best lost sketch.
>ab-so-lutely not! *points at microphone*
Paul Mooney was such a nigger
See, I never just did things just to do them. C’mon, what am I gonna do? Just all of a sudden shitpost on /tv like it’s somethin’ to do? Come on. I had a little more sense than that. YEAH, I REMEMBER SHITPOSTIN’ ON /TV ONCE.
somebody take a piss in here?
>Dave Chappelle, that ain't your wife
GO TO THE BATHROOM!
hubba hubba
That's my baby, always pissing on people
Ashy Larry, Marcy Projects
youtube.com
Marcy son what
HOW YA GONNA RIP IT LIKE THIS SON
HOW YA GONNA RIP IT LIKE THAT SON
CAUSE I'M THE BLACK SHEEP THE REAL BLACK SHEEP
DOO DA LOO DOO DA LOO DOO DA LOO DOOOOOOOOO
>I WANT TO PISS ON YOU
YES I DO
YES I DO
PEE ON YOU
DRIP DRIP DRIP
YES I DO I PEE ON YOU
I SSS ON YOU, SSS ON YOU
>Tupac, rest in peace
>Ok, I will
I'LL TSSS ON YOU... YOUR BOOOODY IS A TOILET PATTY.
THERE'S A HWITE MAN SPEAKING
SILENCIO!
UNGAWE!
Holy shit this made me laugh
I learned a lot, like did you know white people don't use washcloths?
Just one bar of soap for the whole family. Every time it's got somebody's pubic hairs or somethin stuck in it. It's gross.
What if I wanna wash my feet, or my face.
>You wanna take your underwear off
>Uh I prefer to just my penis through the hole
the girl in the mini skirt has bad taste
cause that shirt don't match
what the fuck is that?
it might be DOO DOO
Oil.... bish u cookin??
so long fried rice, hello fried chicken!
thigh thighs, no felonies, she would have been a great pick
Real club vs music video is great. I forgot life as a video game that one sucked
Wrong but Paul Mooney is a uppity fag
Remembered this after I posted. Definitely my least favorite although the Latino part made me laugh.
I remember not caring for the girl with big boobs and magical negro one. Or the nigger family, they were both basically one joke sketches from what I remember, and the joke wasn't very good.
DONT
CRADLE OF THE FUCKING CIVILIZATION
I kicked the shit out of him
HOW DID HE GET AWAY WITH IT!
>tfw my friend's dad looks exactly like this guy
Does he ever holla atcha?
huh?
I have heard that the popular representation of the KKK is only some fucked up small sect in the south somewhere.
I don't know enough about it though.
The less ironic race related ones.
Chappell was good at taking the piss of the whole "black people taking the piss of white people" that most black comedians do.
HOLLAHOLLAHOLLA
HOLLAHOLLAHOLLA
HOLLAHOLLAHOLLAHOLLAHOLLAHOLLAHOLLA
THEY CALLIN' ME
HHHWWWHAT
HHHYEAAAAAH
OOOKAAAAY
HOLLAHOLLAHOLLA
HOLLAHOLLAHOLLAHOLLAHOLLA
*inhales*
HOLLAHOLLAHOLLAHOLLAHOLLAHOLLAHOLLAHOLLAHOLLAHOLLAHOLLAHOLLAHOLLAHOLLAHOLLAHOLLAHOLLAHOLLAHOLLAHOLLAHOLLAHOLLAHOLLAHOLLAHOLLAHOLLAHOLLAHOLLAHOLLAHOLLAHOLLAHOLLAHOLLAHOLLAHOLLAHOLLAHOLLAHOLLAHOLLAHOLLAHOLLAHOLLAHOLLAHOLLAHOLLAHOLLAHOLLAHOLLAHOLLAHOLLAHOLLAHOLLAHOLLAHOLLAHOLLAHOLLAHOLLAHOLLAHOLLAHOLLAHOLLAHOLLAHOLLAHOLLAHOLLAHOLLAHOLLAHOLLAHOLLAHOLLAHOLLAHOLLAHOLLAHOLLAHOLLAHOLLAHOLLAHOLLAHOLLAHOLLAHOLLAHOLLAHOLLAHOLLAHOLLA
>I wonder what Arsenio is doing right now
I remember travelling on a school trip overseas where we wouldn't stop doing Lil Jon impressions.
That sketch is great.
>If I wanted to hurt him I'd tell him he was so fat I could push his chest together and make love to his bosoms!
>I saw a nigga die the other day outside J C Penny. Shits wild in the hood, pa-pow pa-pow!
GRANNY DON'T
assemble your crew
THERE'S A PUDDING STAIN ON THE BACK. WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? IT MIGHT BE DOO DOO
The boob one was pretty forgettable, but the Niggar Family sketch was pretty quotable. When the mom offers the black milk man bacon and he says "Ohhhhh no, i don't ever wanna get between a niggar and his pork!" that was a pretty good line.
shoot the J...SHOOT IT
you and your crew of flunkies versus me and the REVOLUTION
WHY DON'T YOU PURIFY YOURSELF IN THE WATERS OF LAKE MINNETONKA
Cleetus start the truck theres a nigger round here
he wrote Thriller, man
I love the fact Prince actually used a picture of Course from this sketch as the cover for one of his singles.
mfw people think prince couldn't actually ball
Chappelle even recognized that Prince BTFOd him there.
It was a combination of not being able to go anywhere with his kids, or do standup, without a bunch college bros screaming "I'm Rick James, bitch", and comedy Central trying to exert increasing amounts of control over the show, combined with them trying to Jew him out of the profits his original contract entitled him to.
His recent stand-up also implies that when he told them "no" they didn't just leave him alone, to put it mildly.
unfunny shit sage lmao
>Konichiwa bitches
Me and my friends still say that to this day. Brilliant sketch and still relevant.
The "none of the above" part always made me laugh for some reason
method man even ended up making an entire song dedicated to it
The nigga very well has weapons of mass destruction
THE NIGGA TRIED TO KILL MY FAAATHA
YELLOW
CAKE
DON'T DROP THAT SHIT GOD DAMN
yes the "magic bullet" that killed Kennedy was indeed magic
magic is real and we've known about this for some 3,000 years
PRAY TO GOD YOU DON'T DROP THAT SHIT
FUCKIN' RIGHT
underrated
Why is good sketch comedy so rare, and how was Dave able to consistently pump it out?
A sugar cookie man, this is crazy
Writers. And Chappelle is probably also one of the most naturally gifted comedians alive.
Dave is just a hilarious and creative guy and all the writers and actors were incredibly talented too. Chappelle's Show was just a once in a lifetime thing
>the black delegation requests Eminem
Now wait just a god damned minute, Rondel, that's not part of the bargain
silencio!
ungawa!
When he starts screaming into the megaphone to imitate the puerto ricans its pretty good.
Look Amurica' see how Tron is livin' for the citaay!
>I got a song for you too bitch, it's called 'Daughter Don't Sing'
>>>I heard Calvin got a job, man. I'm proud of him. Let's go rob that nigga
goddammit black people
WACARNOLDS IS TEARING THIS FAMILY APART
I'm sorry calvin but she passed away
too much wacarnolds
We used to go and cut bananas. My father would fry them up. It's a thing we do in Grenada sometimes, and it's called fried bananas. That's what we called it and it's really good.
>YouTube comment section: the thread
He had a white writer, but a lot of the comedy is ad libbed. Get fucked. Also, outside of his stupid made up stories, Dave's comedy is kino.
And then his wife threw her titties in my hands
I never just did things just to do them, come on. I mean, what am I gonna do? Just all of a sudden jump up and grind my feet on someone's couch, like it's something to do? Come on, I got a little more sense than that. Yeah, I remember grinding my feet on Eddie's couch.
I'll never forget getting my friend with the 5 fingers joke and slapping him in the middle of McDonalds
Who ordered pizza?
What's the square root of this apartment ahahaha.
Tron and Leonard Washington where his best creations. Tyrone was shitter tier.
>he actually knows what the youtube comment section looks like
>he actually reads youtube comment sections
AND A BANANA COGNAC BYATCH
Objectively incorrect
youtu.be
Kino!
>SHUT THAT FUCKING DOG UP
>you're an animal, a filthy big lipped beast
WHAT DID THE FIVE FINGERS SAY TO THE FACE?
I'll never forget saying the four thumbs down joke to two sluts on a train.
silky johnson is my go-to screen name for vidya
NIG
GAR
It’s the NIGGAR family!
Basado
The tupac skit is real as fuck
youtu.be
>12:34
I mean 8D music wasnt even a thing when pac was alive. How does he get away with it?
GAME
BLOUSES
Comfiest thread of 2019. Giggling my ass off.
I’m a hustla baby
top kek.