Character sperges out and admits to oneitis that he has loved her for 7 years

that's the funniest thing i've heard today. thanks op

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das it mayne

das it

Narcissism

You will never have a married oneitis that screamed "I want nothing with you!" to your face.
I'm not in NEETdom but I'm working as a rent-a-cop, trying to generally stay away from women, once is enough.

>character is so bored he tries to force himself to feel love or friendship for anyone

i wish that he could just feel something genuine

but character hates himself and thinks himself less than a person

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it's been fourteen years. when does the healing begin?

that friend was me, and fuck you right back. at least now he can get his life on track, his obsession with her made him more miserable than anything

>when does the healing begin?
when you die

I think that he should channel that weird sense of superiority into confidence and try talking to girls sometime. He might be surprised at the outcome

I don't know if that will happen, as it has been almost 8 years of constant oneitis, but I guess there is something freeing about the thought that it won't happen - that I don't have to keep trying, or hoping, or whatever. I don't really have much interest in women generally, she was the one exception, so I almost feel like I've been released from heavy chains. I think I'll always be crazy about her, but in a detached, distant way.
I'm happy that we humans can share feelings in this way. It actually helps to think that I'm not the only one who feels like this.
Not very friendly of you, but I'm glad you're having fun, bro

Which movie is this haha

apathy's just the worst, about as dissatisfying as being insatiable

Damn I know someone like this, gotta make a better effort on hygiene and on being personable my dude.

Never underestimate the effect being gross has on other people.

>character ages out of the life period where its socially acceptable to be inexperienced and awkward with women
>character is feeling the walls slowly close in as the prospect of being someone's doormat step-dad seems more and more inevitable

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>character is aware that he bores people when he's talking
>feels bad about people having to endure listen to him
>character basically stops talking to his only "friend" because of this

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>character has accepted he will probably marry the first girl who gives him attention

thats kind of sad haha

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>character has a crush on slutty onitis that sleeps with a lot of people
>manages to actually have sex with her and develop a fwb relationship
>character never shows his true feelings because not mutual and would put an end to the fwb relationship
>slutty onitis often talks about other dudes she's also fucking
>character plays it cool listens like a gay bestfriend would because alphas don't give a fuck
>deep down, character feels his heart getting stabbed each time she tells a new slutty story

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Remember lads, love is an illusion created to keep us bonded to women for the purpose of creating children. Nothing more.

You may think your oneitis is great and all but deep down she's just a hairless ape like the rest of us that you found particularly fetching. If she isn't satisfying you emotionally what good is she? It's like having a sexy car you can never unlock.

I've been rejected by women so many times it doesn't hurt anymore. I fucked a few fat ugly slags after being dumped by the only woman who ever loved me and I realize if I can dream of being in love, all the feelings I want are already inside my mind.

So here's an episode for you, go on a walk tomorrow and try to think of everything you do have. Hands, feet, eyesight, the internet. What can a she-primate give you aside from an inflated sense of importance and a few fleeting minutes of pleasure? Find some real friends and try not to sperg out the next time a woman gives you any attention. For all we know, your oneitis would disappoint you in a thousand ways if you were in a relationship.

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You learned a lesson we all should heed: if you want to be more than friends with your oneitis you have to play it cool constantly. If she's okay with sleeping around it's because true intimacy scares her and she's too stubborn to change. Never give your girl the upper hand, keep things flirty and mysterious.

cats are so cute
at least my girl had the decency to go full lesbian and is still with the chick she dumped me for over 10 years later

>tfw so disgusting that you turn girls into lesbians

I've seen a lot of pictures recently of cats looking at mirrors. I think it's a dangerous sign; they are becoming self-aware and must be stopped now before they learn to use weapons

>character knows it would never have worked out with her
>he is relaxed and calm, she is excitable and active, he is uncomfortable around people, she has a thousand friends, he is reluctant to take charge and lead, she loves being in control
>they are opposites in every possible way, and still get along
>character doesn't even know why he wants her half the time, or what he would do if she reciprocated the feeling
>deep down, character is happy that his confession of love drove her away, so he can go deeper into neetdom and inceldom

More like
>nobody will ever plow this pussy again, she fucked the best for last
Time to push the envelope and try doing new things. Make your life great regardless of others.

>still think of last girl from tinder i slept with
>it's been almost four months now
>realize i'm never going to get the intimacy i crave going this route
>too autistic to go out with women i didn't originally match with on an app

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...

based. my ex has only dated women since we stopped seeing eachother and it stings so much less when i see her new relationship on social media

>underage girl falls in love with main character
>he has no idea what to do or how to reciprocate the feeling

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You're right on track. Women love emotionally unavailable men.

oh fuck off dude. pretty sure half the reason i'm like this is because i spent my adolescent years on /r9k/. i just had enough of it one day and (mistakenly) believed lifting would solve my girl issues.

>character only reason to live is to not disappoint his parents because they and specially his mother love him
>literally doesn't give a shit about anything but has to pretend he does

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I am in this same place. I have no motivation and nothing to live for. I just don’t want to stop being able to lie in the sun, so I live for that alone

>character meets perfect girl
>she turns out to be a whore
Wednesday was an emotional rollercoaster. If it's too good to be true, it probably is.

I would have probably killed myself or done some nasty shit if i didn't have my parents

This is terrible advice in developing anything meaningful, delivered by a coward

>developing anything meaningful
>with a chick
you fell for the brainwashing. i hope you're gay so you can find this meaning you want

>implying roasties want "meaningful"

>Character doesn't feel any sort of emotional connection to or even affinity for his parents
>Persists in life purely out of an abstract sense of obligation

>Wait for 7 years
You deserve it faggot, you could just be done with those feelings in a year and aiming for another chick after the answer was a no but you were too much of a pussy to said it to her. And if you were a pussy just for a confession then you are also a pussy in other stuff. But guess what faggot? If you're smart enough you're gonna learn from this to improve your stupid ways, you're gonna get better and then aim for another one, fail again and then learn some more, fail and learn, rinse and repeat until you nail it, and then you're gonna look at the past and then realize than you failed to be the man you are now, go for it you pussy or die and be like the rest.

t. ex pussyfaggot who cried for his ex but then changed his ways until he landed a better chick and is sure af that if this doesnt work out either, he can improve some more until gets a better one later

fuck this.

He looks just like this guy...

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All women are whores who will crush you if you show ANY emotion or weakness

>character stopped giving a fuck in highschool and 15 years later lives the NEET life and has an impressive porn collection and a bunch of nice onaholes
>character doesn‘t even need woman anymore just JOI and CEI

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>character has first love.
>she is dating someone else at the time.
>she breaks up with guy, so now's the chance.
>tell object of affection how he feelz.
>she reciprocates in writing (i.e. love letters).
>character has the best 2 weeks of his life thinking he's finally 'won' her over.
>character is however too inexperienced and slightly autistic to know what to do next. No asking her out on a date, no taking her to the movies, no nothing. Thinking instead that they'll just happily ever after.
>3 weeks later character finds out girl is now dating a new guy.
>character is crushed. He stops talking to her, and pushes her out of his life.

ff a month later

>close female friend of crush asks main character, 'why aren't you speaking to her anymore?'
>character can't answer out of rage, responds instead with 'just busy, that's all'.
>best friend of crush then says, 'she's really sad...she told me that she lost her best friend...'

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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>character has never had a crush, fallen in love or even had a casual conversation with a girl
What are some kinos for this feel?

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iktf user

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This stuff only happens in movies. No one could be so pathetic in real life.

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>character has dressed up as a girl and taken it in the ass by multiple black guys on a weekly basis because he’s given in utterly to being a sexless prison gay sissy degenerate

How do you think this kino will end?

>character finds he is really good at making girls laugh but doesn't know how to have a straight forward conversation

yo who tf wrote the dialogue for this shit

Post pics.

>character gets a really bad case of oneitis for a big tiddy hipster from uni
>actually hits it off and they become kinda friends
>she has an issue with her flatmate and has to leave her appartment
>is from another part of the country and has nowhere to go
>character has the brilliant idea to invite her to stay at his house
>sexual tension is off the charts from day 1
>character is fucking baffled to finally get a gf
>quickly realizes that the big tiddy hipster gf is actually fucking crazy
>psychotic, violent crazy
>character ignored all the red flag in hopes to get pussy
>emotional dilemna while he spends agonizing months spent between schizophrenic episodes and mind blowing sex until the year ends and they break up

I still don't know how to feel about this trope.

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AIDS and/or suicide

I remember in Supergirl when the cuck found out his dad was a supervillain and he helped supergirl take him down. In a moment where he is really confused and upset he confesses his love to supergirl. The rest of the show follows her for how bad he made her feel for telling her. I went to AVclub to read what they thought and they all said the cuck was wrong to do it and is a shitter nice guy who they hated more than actual villain of the episode who spent his time trying to kill supergirl.

I'm glad Peep Show taught me long ago that oneitis is a fucking disease and you should avoid it at all costs.

>character is solitary, socially stunted, has no friends, lacks motivation and goals and destined to suicide in 5 years
name three flicks and five kinos where this happens

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>name three flicks and five kinos where this happens
My Life (2012)
My Life (2015)
My Life (2019)
I'm unaware of any kinos with this subject.

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>character sperges out and admits to oneitis that he has loved her for 4 years
>she gets uncomfortable and stops talking to him
>character is still obsessed with her 2 years later
Can't wait for the sequel where he blows his head off with a shotgun, haha

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Nice dubs but "alphas" dont fwb a girl that's fucking anyone else, or at the very least she doesn't talk about that shit ever, goddamn dude

Get a fucking grip. Loving someone who doesn't love you is insane and self-destructive. Stop obsessing over shit.

But people love the God that created Satan and Hell

You guys should all stop choosing to be depressed.

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You'll find someone else, OP. Don't be sad.

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> Character doesn't love himself so he can't love anyone else. He goes to the liquor store where they know you on a first name basis and you know them.

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I'm too emotionally stunted and ugly to not be depressed.

self fulfilling prophecy

i know all my liquor store guys. i like it because no chicks work there
one guy always asks about movies. i don't have the heart to tell him i have bad taste so i just mention something i read on this board that i never actually watched

It's tough I'm going through something too. This bitch, we've made out before, but she said it was bad timing, cause she was living with her ex, so I got over her. Fast forward to 6 months and she's integrated herself in my friend group and we flirt really hard with each other. She told me I was cute, sat on my lap, said we had good chemistry, so I ask her out and she blows me off twice. Then she says it's a bad idea and she's interested in some one else. So I ghosted her. It's gotten better, I'm going to fuck this other girl tonight, but I'm a mess some times. It's better when I do the see her, but she's always around.

When I don't see her.

this is truly pathetic

all you sad fucks should channel this negative energy and try to make some depressionkino

You people are pathetic.

>character gets messages from chicks from high school late at night
>sometimes from facebook sometimes an email but somehow they get my phone number from someone else
What does it mean?

Being depressed is kino

>Main Character is a junior in College.
>Has not made a single friend or communicates with anyone besides roommates.

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Too close to home

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What the fuck is wrong with you all. If a girl is interested you will see signs within a few weeks at the most. You don't tell someone you like them after knowing them for years, and never seeing any signs, that's a desperate measure, it does not work like that. If you are interested in someone ask them for a coffee or a drink, if they say no move on, don't hope that by being friendly and submissive they will develop feeling for you.

they will not

Pretty much, I could get my shit together and become less of an ugly fuck but what's the point if I'm still barely a real person afterwards.

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> character sets up date
> later that evening character masturbates to completion and no longer wants to date anyone and would rather make tacos and watch ER re-runs

>mfw i'd be fine if i wasn't a broken anti social agoraphobic.

as much as i'd like to blame women (alot of them really are worthless vapid nothings of human beings but the same can be said of men) i honestly am my own worst enemy.

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>have steady job
>work out
>enjoy cooking, learning to bake
>work on self improving, read before bed
>still unhappy with my life
>cant even imagine where to meet friends/girlfriends or finding dates
Just waiting on my mom to pass away at this point.

>character starts dating and sleeping with co-worker
>she moves away for the summer
>week gone and character is dead and forgot to her
I thought this episode was pretty shit

>Main character has friend girl who he has feelings for
>girl asks character someone asked her out and if that makes him jealous
>"n-no that's cool".

ouch
wouldn't want to be in your place

kinda manipulative for her to say that to you if she already rejected you

>it's a Truman is feeling down so he tries a new kind of antidepressant but only gives him violent shits after which he passes out for 14 hours and when he wakes up he is too weak to get out of bed so he lies there and listens to Wardruna while fading in and out of consciousness episode

Probably gonna drop the show after this, I really don't like the direction it's heading

Scratch the fourth part and this is *literally* me, yikes!

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>character gets with girl
>has son
>loves his son more than anything
>girl cheats and runs away with new Chad
>takes son
>courts order character to stay away
>will never see his boy again

This character's heart will never heal.

She didn't reject me until the year later when I finally got the guts to ask her, but by then we had already drifted apart.

lol dude she asked if you were jealous and it took you a YEAR later to admit you liked her? fuck man. i can't judge though, i've orbited women same as you.

Oneitis are a myth
It’s a numbers game. Just boost yourself and get a hot bitch that’s tolerable

Plot of clerks

>character will put you to put you to sleep with how boring he is
>all this exacerbated by the fact he doesn't have friends and never does out any evening outings
>somehow thinks the dating game is going to be nice to him
Those poor girls, some were cunts but I know the issue mainly lies with me and how sopophoric I am.

I don't even know how this happens. I have an interesting career, an interesting life story, cultured beyond reason and somehow I've run out of things to say in the first ten minures of our conversation. Brrr.

>it's another episode where the main character has to deal with the fact that he is probably in love with his co-worker
>he also has a girlfriend of 6 years
>every episode for the past 4 months he gets depressed when he's not with coworker
>he can't get the nerve to leave his gf
>his co-worker also has a 2 yo son so either way the main character is fucking retarded
>cognisant enough to realize how cucked that is but retarded enough to not care
Really getting sick of this weird season

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same, no idea how not to put people to sleep when i tell a story or talk for than 30 seconds.

Yeah I understand I was a full on autistic retard during that point, I was like 13 I think and she was the first girl that I ever really talked to. But the story actually has a pretty decent current arc. I'm living with my gf who while kind of autistic is doting and sweet.

ur wrong

>character is handsome, charming, intelligent, creative, and gets laid often
>spends his free time interacting with retarded autists on the internet

What genre is this?

Me except I'm not in a dormitory so I have to friends and communicate to one.