ITT Times when you acted like Larry

>be me at a BBQ
>guy who I haven't seen since I was like 12 says hi to me
>didn't remember him at first but realized that he was my cousin's bf when I saw him last
>start talking to him about what we're up to in life
>say I just finished my first year of college
>tells me he wants to be a chef and get his own food truck
>seems really excited about it
>tells me he'll be the one at the grill for the BBQ
>wait a while until the first round of burgers is ready
>get one
>it tastes dry and too salty
>guy asks me how the burger was
>"It was a little too spicy. Not like hot spicy but too much flavor"
>realize how I'm fucking up
>"...but that's just me though. I don't know"
>phew, what a save
>later hear him call to someone
>think he was talking to me and turn around
>"No, not you"
>goes up to other guy
>"You like the burgers?"
>"Yea, it's good"
>"Not too spicy?"
>"No, it's fine"
>realize I should've just said the same thing
I went back for another burger in good faith but it turns out he burnt the next round. I took one of the less burnt ones and ate the whole thing to hopefully show him that I didn't mind his grilling. He probably hated me.

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Maybe he burnt the next round to spite you. He knew you'd go for seconds to make him feel good

It's good to be honest user. This dumb fuck wants to buy a food truck and he can't even grill without burning a whole round of burgers.

>food truck
when will this meme die?

>shopping at Costco
>live quite a ways out from town so I like to stock up on bulk
>have one of those flat carts with a fuckton of water, toilet paper, laundry/dish detergent etc.
>cashier looks at me and says what sounds like "resail"
>stare blankly at him, "What?"
>same noise, "resail"
>feeling awkward because this is holding up the line, "uhhh, I guess I just don't understand"
>he grunts, nods and rings up all my shit
>as he's handing me the receipt he says "sometimes people buy in bulk like this because they resell it all in smaller quantities"
>feeling flustered, "well why didn't you add all those other words in your sentence so I could tell what you're saying??"
>he won't even look at me now, turns to the next customer
>walk away mumbling to myself about how I know what resale means and that I just needed more context
>other customers looking at me like I'm crazy, spill spaghetti all the way out in the parking lot

i wanted to find this story funny so badly

wow... you're so dumb

>Resale senior
This is why you need to build a wall

>be me lining up for Southwest airline flight
>gate agent says “full flight so we may need volunteers to check bags.”
>boarding # B33
>Random passenger walks up to B31 and ask if he can cut in front so he could “find a seat next to his girlfriend”
>he has a B56 ticket
>B31 says OK
>I get flustered “hey.. you know bag space is limited, right? You could have checked in on time if you wanted a good boarding position.”
>He and B31 and 32 look at me like I’m a jerk
>ticket lady calls our section... figure he will get sent to the back by her. She scans him through!!
>gets to my turn “so uh you just scanned B56 through before B31-55...”
>she looks at me as if she couldn’t understand... I explain to her again.., people start passing me and going into jetway as she scans them through...
>after a few attempts of trying to get her to admit her mistake I head down the jetway... several people have already passed me.
>I try to recover my spot in line but two ham beasts are taking the whole width of the corridor.
>I figure it will be fine.
>board plane and aisle seats are all taken and no room for my roller bag in the overhead compartment
>walking down aisle see B56. He’s sitting in an aisle seat next to two men he doesn’t know with Dr Dre Beats on his ears
>”where’s your girlfriend?”
>doesn’t respond... I pull one earpiece out to get his attention.
>he gets mad
>stewardess asks me to find a seat.
>”he’s sitting in my seat, he’s b56 I’m b33!”
>”sir this aircraft is not assigned seating, it’s first come first serve, please find the next seat!”
>everyone is looking at me like I’m a huge prick.
>find a middle seat.
>mfw it’s betw two fat fucks.

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dud waht the fuck, dont say thing like that