ITT Things your parents say/do during movies

>love interests get married at the end
>mom casually says "it's probably time you got yourself a girl keep you're getting sorta old now haha"
Sorry mom I dont mean to be a loser

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Mum: "What's going on?" "What did he just say" *laughs way too loud at funny or bad scene*
Dad: "Zzzzzzz" *snores*
Mum: "user Sr, wake up" *nudges Dad*
Every single film.

He sounds like all the retard autists who whine here about the smallest fucking things, of course you'd think he's """""""""""based""""""""""""""

>parents

Lmfao who still lives with their fucking parents

I don't know why but I browse these threads to be charmed by the first post that mentions a dad who's always sleeping through movie-time

Are you me?

I do, Mr Trips. Got a problem?

parents arent siblings

>trips of truth

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she is the smart one in your family

>"have you found a job user?"

>Doesn't visit his parents even after he's moved out.
Sorry for your shitty childhood user.

of course they are, where the fuck do you live?

why do americans hate their kids?

Mum: That's so sexist.
Dad: You don't know what they're trying to say with that.

not kentucky

>Actress gets naked and begs the actor to fuck her
>Awkward silence
>Dumb scene that's meant to be funny
>All ROFL to ease tension.

This. I live on the other side of the world and still visit my parents once every year or two years. It's not hard to be a part of their lives. The least you should do is try.

>Dad:”Why the fuck did this unimportant bitch stop him from a heroic scarifice!”

>Damn she's hot as fuck
>Damn she's sexy
>Who's this piece of ass?
All while looking up the actress name and her nudes

Yell at me to shut up..... then they start talking during the movie.
Also yell at me if I'm making too much noise when they're watching something, although they don't have a problem making a fuck ton of noise while I'm watching something.

I've never met my father and my mother abandoned me when I was 14

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Literally patrician

>What's going on?

My Dad about a million times no matter how simple the plot is.

>my mother abandoned me when I was 14
why?

Take a wild guess for the color of his skin.

>Something moderately weird or genre defying happens.
Dad "wow what a mindtrip!"

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65 year old Dad:
>Gee wilikers!
Bless his heart.

>Guy beats up random strangers
>Dad: Now, that's a real man. user, don't let anyone look at you weird.

All watching a movie all together,

>dad mom constantly on their phone doing god knows what. not even watching the movie
>me take out my phone for 10 seconds to check messages
>OH THERE IS THE MOBILE BRIGADE AGAIN, CANT YOU LEAVE THAT THING ALONE FOR 10 SECONDS

every time

brown

“Oh so that’s where the term achilles heel comes from”

>siblings
Freudian slip

I hate this. My mom can't go 5 min without her phone. And she constantly tells me to not use my phone too much.

>Dad and I watch Drive
>Movie ends and his takeaway is
>"Always watch out for the silent guys at the bar, they tend to be the most violent."

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Underrated

>Something relevant to world history comes up.
>Dad: user, do you know what they're talking about? Let me explain....

Kek.

>Dad: I bet this guy is jewish, let me check
>Dad:...
>Dad: Yeah he's jewish, and the other guy's too

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i'll never watch a movie with my dad again. growing up, every god damn movie, he rewinds it back to something he liked at least three times before continuing. somehow it turns a 90 minute movie into a 3 hour movie

My dad gets really triggered if protagonists die, I don't know why. I tried talking to him about it but he just shuts down and says "It's not right. Heroes don't die".
It can be a random tragic death, self-sacrifice, taking a bullet for someone else, whatever. If the hero isn't alive by the time the credits hit then my dad is butthurt and doesn't understand why they had to kill him/her.

My dad has a problem confronting death in general after all his siblings died, so I don't force it. He gets really uncomfortable with the whole subject.
I'm only watching Avengers 3 with him when we can watch 4 right after because everyone comes back lmao marvel

why would you use "Kek." instead of lol? Think about it. You wrote it like it's a word. It doesn't mean anything, its just the modification of the actual acronym lol. You don't even know why you use it. Somewhere, sometime you saw a few people post it and hopped right on board. Too mainstream for lol right? Thats so old, its meaning makes sense but you dont feel comfortable expressing your approval of things on the internet with the common old "lol" thats been around for so long. You'll man up and use the purposely misspelled version with no discernible humor or purpose besides making you look like a complete idiot while you maintain the false concept that other people find it amusing or appropriate and using purposely misspelled words shows the world that youre not afraid of anything and are part of some grand inside joke that no one finds funny. Theres a lot going through your head, but you realize I am right. You will try though, to get the best of this exchange. What are you going to go for? Newfag? Summer? oh damn there are so many options to choose from. An implication that I'm underage perhaps? Thats always fresh. Maybe you'll just shut down. I think you should go with something about butthurt or being mad or even comment on the length of the unproportionally long comment that so swiftly brought to your attention that you are a faggot that tries oh so hard to fit in.I'm sure you could find some grammar or spelling errors as a last resort. I cant wait, Its always fun playing insult roulette

>parents grab phone
>check wikipedia for the subject
>start having a 10 minute discussion about the subject while talking through the movie

all the time

It's what comes up in subtitles for anime when people laugh, you fucking lunatic.

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>character has a 1911
IS THAT A BERETTA?!
>character has a Glock
IS THAT A BERETTA?!
>character has a Desert Eagle
IS THAT A BERETTA?!

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fucking kek

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kek

That is sad as fuck user :((

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that's keke

Good post user

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>Mom: laughs with literally everything, she is the kind of woman laughing in every trailer before a movie

>Dad: says "yeah right..." in every single action scene that violates in the slightest the rules of physics

yikes

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My dad does the exact same fucking thing, user, I feel your pain

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nigger

If you look at your phone at all you're just as bad
>but I only did it for like five seconds I'm not an addict like they are I swear

>hole
dumb phoneposters

not reading an essay about your butthurt, faggot

kek?

I look at it during sex scenes because otherwise I'd just close my eyes.

I'll never understand the Amerimutt protestaclap mentality of there being almost no family unit.
I live in Europe and I eat at my parent's house every Saturday and at my grandmother's house every Sunday.
Why do people refuse to spend time with their relatives when they're still alive only to go ABLOOBLOO I SHOULD HAVE CALLED MORE OFTEN at the wake?

They're annoying.

based and redpilled dad

>kino mother rapes/kills/does horrible shit to son
>”see user, aren’t you glad that isn’t your mother”

>can't stand it the hero dies
>all his siblings died
Damn dude thats a sad connection.

It’s literally because of capitalism/jewish tricks/ whatever you want to call it.

This is my grandpa and he throws a blanket over his lower half like no one knows what he's doing.

I would agree if only because I want to inherit a bunch of old fags and sluts when they kick the bucket

>parents are watching a movie
>I was somewhere else and only start watching halfway through
>something happens in the movie 2 minutes later
>mom asks me why it happened or who is this or that character

That's sad. Try not to kill yourself before your father's time.

This,
>Evening 8pm
>Go downstairs to chill on the couch and talk to parents
>Parents are both on their phones, I sit there just looking at nothing and try starting conversation every 10 mins.
>Parents give almost no replies and dont even look at me,they are consumed by their stupid phones.
>Get depressed feelings, go back upstairs
>Come back downstairs at 10pm
>Parents still on their phones
> "user, why do you spend so much time in your room, are you addicted to games?" Says my mom all while looking at her phone.
>Dad doesn't react, hes reading something stupid on normiebook on his phone
>Go back upstairs, get drunk and fall asleep

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>three christmases ago
>visit parents
>heading upstairs
>hear brother explaining to dad "forever alone" and "pokerface"
don't engage in family, you didn't pick them. pick non cringey people that you would want as family.

jesus christ. my dad even did this in movie theatres and i told him to be quiet then he screamed in the theatre as loud as he could. the only time he is quiet is when he is slapping his lips together eating as loud as possible

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test

>show mom lord of the rings
>return of the king
>elephants show up
>"are they good guys???"

Why are there so many adults on here still living with their parents?

Our parents realize the mistake they made and now they're paying for it. They thank me every year for not knocking a girl up and making their situation worse.

Because we'll never be property owners, we'll never marry, we'll never be wealthy, so wtf is the point?

>local kinoplex has intermission
>dad usually gives me his thoughts on it so far and asks me to explain anything he didn't get

Comfy tbqh.

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What do you mean?

>he doesn't visit his parents semi-regularly

I guess it's a cultural thing (or maybe you don't live close or have a horrible relationship with your family). But every weekend or so I pop by to watch a movie with my dad or bake something with my mom. I'm close by anyway

>intermission
truly the plebeian time period. no movie is dense enough to need a cool down period.

It never fails to amuse me how americans seem to just cut ties with their family as soon as they are out of high-school. I kind of wish it was more acceptable around here too because my mom can get annoying when she whines about me visiting them only once a month or so

Try getting through Seven Samurai without pissing yourself then.

We start our own families.

If I could I would too, free rent and board.

i don't live with my parents since for almost 15 years, you fucking basement dwelling, dick cheese munching fags

It’s a white people thing. I’ve realized a lot of my beaner and Asian friends are insanely close knit with their families, meanwhile mine and a lot of my other white friends families seem very distant and separated outside of holidays. It’s just a cultural thing

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during any nude or sex scenes my dad would always pretend like he was having a heart attack to distract us and he'd yell "THIS IS IT, THIS IS THE BIG ONE"

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yeah your insult is over 40 years old
try something new. nobody lives in basements.

fucking based dad

But they live with me user

Apple: IPad its not a computer but it does get you felt up by Eva Green buy it TODAY

based

Lmao

Imagine being over the age of 18 and still filing as a dependent on your parents' taxes.

I remember going to the theatre with my dad to watch Alien Vs Predator. He fell asleep and started to snooze during a very silent scene. The who theatre turned their head to look at him

My dad is either hyper focused and sees everything coming from miles away, or is completely retarded and doesn't even understand simple plot points.
I think it comes down whether or not he's a bit tired during the movies.
I'll always remember how he rolled his eyes after seeing The cure for life, saying everything was telegrahed, and how he was "too intelligent to see this kind of movies".
God I laughed that day.

he probably got that joke from Sanford and Son.

>Mom browses her iPad while listening in, occasionally lifting her head to watch
>Dad watches intently, hardly talks until the movie is over then rants about it

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I only watch movies so I can bitch about them on Yea Forums

Based as fuck.

>It’s a white people thing
you are literally replying to a poster from europe who's telling you it's not

I only watch movies just for memes at this point tbqh.

prove it

>Watch movie with Sister
>Every time something happens she asks me what's going on, why a character is doing something, etc

It's a little annoying having to say "Just watch and find out" every couple of minutes.

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>not getting the hint

>Dad: "Why's there so many niggers in movies these days?"

man i wish i had a sister that would drop those bombshells on me and i wouldnt even know because im too innocent

Dads are inherently based creatures and anything they do to get on your nerves is 100% intentional. My dad owned an arthouse theatre when I was growing up in the late 80s through the 90s and was obsessed with Bertolucci and Antonioni but would constantly be explaining the context of post-war Italy and its grappling with fascism, etc during the films themselves. Dads are the best.

the guy you called a faggot virgin three minutes ago in another thread is a dad

>dad knows he's talking shit
>you know he's talking shit
>you both laugh

I can’t remember if I made this pasta or not. I used to do a lot of drugs and type out bait and save it for later and this sounds like something I would make.

>Dads are the best.
Been born early 80s, and having a paranoid schizophrenic dad. You're not on reddit my dude.

Other than the Brie threads and the black pander thread from yesterday, this is the only good thread on Yea Forums in ages

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My mom would always comment on how ugly all the women in movies were. No woman on Earth is good enough for my mom.

Is your mom hot ?

:( I hope you get outta there user...

you're not a loser user. better no wife yet, than a super nasty divorce. you'll get there one day dude.

My dad just drinks scotch from his flask, tells me it makes the shit movies more bearable.

>mom sleeps, laughs at everything and doesn't understand shit by the end
>dad keeps telling her to shut up when she talks over dialogue and understands every plot point
Based dad. He's an 80s action/adam sandler watching boomer but whenever I show him something more artistic he appreciates it 9/10 times. He also watches LOTR everytime it's on tv because loves medieval shit.

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"Are they in the matrix right now or no? I can never tell"

Europeans havent been white for a long time now.

>demands we rewind mid film

>IS THAT MATT DAMON?!?!
>IS THAT TOM HANKS?!?!

if you only watched rotk that's a reasonable question

>mom: why are there so many niggers in the movies these days I hate it
>Dad: I know, me too

When watching movies with my mom and/or my sister they always ask if a i think a certain, obviously beautiful, actress in the movie is pretty. Funny thing is that they never ask it about ugly ones, women are such insecure creatures.

Atleast your father doesn't whistle at you at the grocery as if you're a dog

Common core was a mistake.

>mom uses phone, tries to make conversation about things that are not movie related at all, questions every single thing that goes on, and constantly says "this movie is boring/weird". Sometimes she turns around and sleeps halfway through the movie, and demands we lower the volume
>dad watches silently with his usual scowl, and after the movie is done he says his opinion with cynical remarks
>lil brother tries to watch, but usually responds to mom's dumb questions, until I ask them to shut up. Then my dad gets mad at me for being rude and threatens to kick me out of the room
this shit is why I don't usually watch stuff with them anymore
mom is the kind of woman who thinks she's high cultured, but claims American Beauty to be the best film she's ever watched. A fine example of Dunning Kruger effect
Dad is ridiculously cynical, and hates everything but sports, specially if it has the slightest artistic sensibilities
Lil bro used to be cool and watch Leone's westerns with me, but now only cares about playing fortnite and watching dumb netflix crap
A particularly terrible experience I remember was trying to get them into Mad Men. My father was actually seeming to enjoy the show, but my mother ruined it for everyone by saying it was too slow and boring. Then my brother suggested they watched Sherlock instead, and I left.

Our house is too big enough for me and my wife and my parents.

I'm not buying a new place when my parents have a house big enough.

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cute

> Dad yells "Based!" every time the protagonist does something because I once had to explain it to him after he heard me yelling BASED while watching Greatest Story Never Told in my room.

...

When I was a kid, my father was working a shitton and mostly slept through movies we watched. In these last few years we connected a bit more, he really likes Tarantino movies and stuff like The Big Lebowski and A Fish Called Wanda. Pretty comfy watching those, talking about interesting stuff, drinking and smoking some

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t. italian who lives with momma at 38

>watching the oscars
>groan any time they talk about black people

My dad just got mad with this scenario when Neo died on matrix

Turn all the burners on your stove to full without flame before your family goes to bed.

>his family and relatives cook good enough for him to visit them often

you are a blessed man

>she's quite an attractive young thing, isn't she

in reference to just about any female younger than 45 who appears on screen

edgy

He says this every time we watch any star wars movie

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Mom: asks me constant hypotheticals based on what's happening to the characters ("what would you do if..." etc)
Dad: Say nothing and drink three beers for every one of mine while chain smoking. Probably leaves mid way through to go to the track or casino.

>mom is actually very smart and makes intelligent commentary in appropriate places
>dad is either sleeping or making wisecracks that are decently funny

it's pretty enjoyable having a movie night with the family

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Reminder that the most diverse city in Europe is still whiter than the US as a whole

>Search in Netflix with my dad to find a movie
>We stumble upon "Bandersnatch"
>He clicks it before I can say something because he loves muh 80s aesthetics and video game culture
(Told me in every detail how great "Ready Player One" was and how dissappointed he was by the movie)
>We start watching
>"Muh you have to choose what to do!"
>Dad instantly stops and rambles about "modern movies" angrily
>Watch Conan the Barbarian instead for the 5th time

Based dad. But if he was born today ge probably would have been Reddit incarnated.

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Fall asleep.
I don't bother watching movies with them anymore.

>A Fish Called Wanda
Dadcore movie, my dad loves it as well and we used to watch it together. Same for A New Leaf (with Matthau)

Only terroni do that

>dad sleeps through entire movie
>If I come late to the movie, like 20 minutes, my mum will explain everything super fucking detailed to the point we miss like the next 30 minutes of the movie

My mum is obsessed with talking about movies she watched, which is fine if she didn't go into every single detail about it. She can literally talk non-stop about it for like an hour

lmao :D
but honestly, you're asking why a counter culture site is opting out of the preferred way of expressing laughter and substituting it a word from a game where it occurs seldom. This is parallel to pissing in a pool and asking why it is turning yellow, it should be self-explanatory.
What do you think of ":D"? Is it embarrassing to use? Truth to be told, I'm wondering why it hasn't surfaced again, as it is seen as cringe by the mainstream now. Anyway, that's my take on it :D

any cool stories?

Fuck off faggot.

Mom start undressing

Dad always grumbles to himself something along the lines of "I hate women" or "Women fucking suck" regardless of what we're watching.
Alternatively, if an attractive woman is a in a relationship or shows interest in any male character, he yells "that guy's a dork" or "Women are retarded"

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how do they always know?

I do,the only reason i'm about to move out is because i share my room with my two younger brothers and we are all in our 20's.
[Spoiler]my sister is going to be 30 and still lives with us,she has her own room tho.[/spoiler]

> Mom gets irrationally angry whenever the MC is mistreated. Once got so angry tears were coming from her eyes.
> Dad alternates between sleeping and saying things like "He got what he deserved" "What an idiot" and "He should consider suicide"
> Sister and I just giggle and laugh throughout the movie at our parents

Pretty fun desu

How come your dad acts like an incel?

Fall asleep

It’s an American thing Americans of all races are mutant slaves

>dad was in army
>watching war film
>shit starts to hit the fan
>dad starts to mutter stuff like "go now, go now" when a helicopter with people inside starts to spin
>guy is bleeding out onscreen
>shot of his wound
>"nope, he's done"
>he dies

Thanks for making war films a lot more interesting and a lot more fun to watch dad :)

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He kinda is

Moms will never get the matrix

no

thats what you get for being a faggot

Kek

Yes

My dad's the same. Never talks about it, but I get the impression he saw some fucked up shit.
t. Balkans

My mom got nightmares from watching Cage's crazy acting in Ghost rider.

watched my mom give my dad a hand job under the blankets at home.
i fingered myself while they did it.

no

Yes

>Make the mistake of watching WWII movie with parents
>Dad keeps seething about the Nazis
>Mother keeps commenting on how /fa/ they were
>Whole time I'm sitting hoping no one speaks to me because I know I'll sperg out

Is it possible to have a true kino experience unless you're on your own?

there was this part where a guy was calling in artillery and he got really into it
>'Need fire support, coordinates xyz' etc
>"Call it again. Keep it coming in."
>Starts nodding with approval when the Vietcong are smashed by HE shells "Boom, call it again."
t. Bosnia + NI btw

>watching a dvr'd show with my dad
>after a commercial break he fast forwarded to we get to the last like 5-7 minutes of the show
>pauses it with like 2 minutes left so he can go the bathroom
>goes to the bathroom and checks his Twitter/Facebook (hes like the 65 year old zoomer) for like 10 minutes
>comes back and presses play and sees the last couple minutes of the show and then the credits roll

Fucking infuriating

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No

My mom's a nurse so whenever there's a medical scene and people are talking instead of doing the surgery/procedure she gets very irritated.

>dad keeps saying "i love the dialogue in this movie"

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>watch conan
Based

>get new gf
>go to her place
>her parents are having kino night
>"hey user, you like kino? why don't you join us?"
>look over their pleb choices
>actually some solid picks
>go along with it
>her dad skips literally and all diaglogue
>only plays the action scenes
>i think it's a meme at my expense
>it isn't
>he doesn't this every time they watch something
>3 hour film is like 20 minutes long
>has the fucking balls afterwards to say that he didn't think much of it

How can people be so plebby?

>when a sassy black woman appears on screen my dad says mmmhmmm like a sassy black woman
>when a black man appears on screen my dad says shhhiieeettt
>when a gay man appears on screen my mom says ewwww and flips her wrists

b&rp'd

Christ

Alpha as fuck

Fuckin great

>Literal first scene of the movie
>Mom: "WAIT, WHO'S THAT? WHY'S HE TALKING TO THAT GUY? WHAT'S GOING ON?? PAUSE IT!"
>Politely tell her that this is the very beginning of the movie and I don't know
>"THEN LOOK IT UP ON YOUR PHONE, I CAN'T UNDERSTAND WHAT'S GOING ON!"
>Cut to second scene of movie
>"WAIT, SO THIS IS A DIFFERENT PLACE? HOW DID THEY GET HERE? IS THAT THE SAME GUY FROM EARLIER?"
>At some point my dad will say "honey, just watch the movie"
>She'll get super butthurt and go to bed

After my dad's had a couple beers he'll ruthlessly mock literally any woman on the screen, making pig and cow noises or saying "oooooh, we got us a big girl!"
It's hilarious but also bizarre because he'll do it with even the most attractive actresses. Only woman I've ever heard him compliment other than my mom was one of the women from Friends.

>what is a visit?

>Sex scene that you don't see
>It's just two people in bed heavy breathing and really sweaty
>"Ha! Looks like the first time you experienced the Big Mac" (our surname is McDonald)
>I look over
>Mom cringes
>Dad just turns to me and winks

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>dad: what did he say?
>mom paraphrases the line of dialogue
>next line of dialogue
>dad: huh?
repeat ad nauseam

>characters speak at a normal, perfectly audible volume
>"Why do people always mumble in films these days?"
>literally any actor appears
>"Oh look its your man from-" *clicks fingers and waves hands while trying to remember other film they appeared in but never do*
>character does something
>"Why did he do that? he wouldn't do that, that's ridiculous!"
>black guy appears
>"Oh for God's sake"
>main character who has been in every scene throughout the movie does something near the end
>"Wait who is that again?"

boomers were a mistake

Are you me?

But seriously, my mother will already make up her mind about a movie, like if she didn't want to see it there will be no way she will enjoy it, and she'll just find non-existant faults with the movie and use it as a confirmation that she wasn't interested in the first place.

lol

>THIS IS THE BIG ONE
Not a proper dad if he doesn't let out a massive fart after saying this.

>mmmhmmm
>when someone who are not ashamed by his size appears on screen my dad says mmmhmmm like a Steve Rambo

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This reads exactly what the chad would do.
>watches only the action scenes
>has never heard dialogue in his life
etc.

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It was a go-to movie in my teenage years, so thats a bonus on top of it just being a great movie. Kevin Cline is brilliant in it really

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>Americans

The KGB agent scene is simply superb

kek

fall asleep and piss himself

>It's a smoke screen? Double bluff.

It really is bad here. My parents are in one state, my brother is in another and I'm in my own. It's gay. Boomers (and their parents) and their careerist shit ruined everything.

based dad

I really don't think that situation is that uncommon here at all and I don't know where that idea even stems from. People just repeat it like its fact but I don't know anyone who's that distant from their parents unless they're a college student who lives in another state.

white people

Fucking women man. My mother will pause and rewind portions of the movie if she's seeing it for the first time, because she completely misses entire portions of dialogue despite being interested in the movie. It's absolutely sickening, I just leave her to watch The Good Wife and whatever other lawyer tv shows she likes now.

>watch movie with mom
>she constantly talks and overreacts to everything happening on screen in the most extreme way, be it yelling like a madman when something "scary" happens or belching the most violent and forceful laugh when something "funny" happens

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Jack me off under my pants

I thought the origin of kek involved koreans in RTS games always typing "kekeke" as laughter, then blizzard went along with it by causing "lol" to translate to "kek" when speaking cross faction on world of warcraft

>every time a white actor comes into the scene
FUCK WHITE PEOPLE
I hate my new dad

>hey isn’t that insert actor here
>no it’s insert actor here
>spend 30 mins after film on imdb

She just wants to get a reaction out of you user, please talk more with your mom, ask her how she's doing

>causing "lol" to translate to "kek" when speaking cross faction on world of warcraf

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t. was never loved by anyone
sorry user

My dad watches artsy foreign films for the sake of seeing Korean titties

>Korean titties
why doesn't he just buy fucking pancakes?

Based.

My dad is a weird idiot-savant who can guess the entire plot of most traditional films including the significance of small details.

based dad

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be glad that he's at least interested

faggot virgin

>I thought the origin of kek involved koreans
>Kek is a chaos meme
>Worst Korea literally controlled for decades by a lesbian cabal using astrology
>Also (at least partly) responsible for the kekster
>Pure coincidence

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I dont know why but kek

Honestly I would make this joke all the time too if I was named fucking McDonald

>emotional death
>my mother giggles uncontrollably and laughs

every time. idk why, she's super sweet

My dad is a slightly autistic 61 year old Spaniard with a thick accent, and whenever something even slightly unlikely happens in a movie he’ll say
>Only in Hollywood
Also when a film doesn’t have explicitly religious or political themes he’ll purposely downplay how much he enjoyed the movie. Oh, and if a movie has something that’s even slightly heterodox he’ll instantly dislike the movie. When we watched Silence he got triggered as fuck because Rodrigues did what he did and because of the final shot. On the drive home he ranted to me about how I wasted his time. Also, when watching Bad Times at the El Royale in theaters (I took him to it) he stormed out of the theater during Hemsworth’s speech, and right before he stormed out he was vividly asking god to forgive him for enduring such blasphemy.
>I still love him tho, mans a fucking maths and computer wiz

your mom was just reliving the best night of her life white boi

>watch No Country for Old Men with mom
>It ends
>I enjoy it. Great movie.
>ask mom what she thought of it
>"ugh, it was just so much talking. I didn't get what was happening. Everyone was just talking."
>mfw

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Based, although i live in fag nation in europe, and many families are like the americans i have a close connection to my family.

>dad fell asleep and started snoring in the cinema
He’s a hard working farmer who gets up at sun up to go to work so I can’t hate on him, when he asks to go to the cinema I know what’s going to happen but go anyway. He snores louder than anyone I’ve ever met. Good dad

My dad dislikes Lotr, his literal comment about is that the whole film is just "pigs squealing" meaning the orc sounds. his favourite movie is aliens tho. Overall decent taste but still a boomer

>watch movie with friend
>constantly on phone browsing memes on Facebook
>movie ends
>friend puts phone away
>he says either "yeah that was alright" or "that sucked" or something along those lines.

Alternatively
>watch another movie with said friend
>a revelation or twist happens
>throws arms up in the air, holds them up
>proclaims "CALLED IT!"
>he resets and does this for every twist/revelation that happens
>sometimes he'll even voice his thought process out loud for said twist. sometimes he's right other times it's off track by a mile

Why do people do this? Why do you always have to verbally guess the shocking moment in a movie out loud to everyone. It spoils the mood. I get it if you do it in your head, and that's fine, but just don't ruin the experience for the rest of us. Or don't proclaim that you "called it". You're not getting cool points for that.

He probably means that it was wildly different 30-40 years ago and that people could make meaningful bonds that wouls end in children, unlike today

He has to claim it out loud because if he claims it in his head there's nothing to corroborate his suspicion if he's right and he'll lose out on irl cool points.

My dad is the type to say “OH NO OH NO! DO NOT GO IN THERE! and just repeat punchlines and say that’s great.

My mum thought that The House That Jack Built was hilarious

Not sure what to think about that

D R O P P E D
R
O
P
P
E
D

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A what movie did your mom cry user?

>My dad: fall asleep
>My mom: check her phone before the we go over a fourth of the film

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>dad comes in halfway through the movie
>"What's going on?"
>leaves after getting explanation

fuck, I am retarded
>*My mom: check her phone before we go over a fourth of the film

>tfw dad's favorite series is still American Pie

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Is ur mom hot

lel, literally my dad

>I’ll brb I need to get some food, you don’t have to pause it
>what’s happening?
>what did they say?
>The Witch was shit, why’d you recommend it to me user?

Love you mom.

>dad comes in the room
>fondles me
>leaves
Every time.

get out, user

Mom
>laugh at jokes when other people do even though 8 know she didnt grt the joke
Dad
>constantly points out stupid shit the characters do
Also I'm pretty sure the only times I've seen my father give a gut wrenching laugh were during movies.

>watching There will be blood
>parents saunter in
>they start fake yawning and toking
>go up to room and cry while jeopardy can be heard faintly in the background
fucking boomers

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I can’t afford to live alone.

stay silent

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These threads are always amazing

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>dad shuts his mouth or falls asleep
>mom doesn't understand anything not involving romance
>brother constantly points out unrealistic stuff even if it's a fantasy or kids movie

You know I can remember how my parents were when I lived with them and I also visit them

>mom always comments on actresses’ levels of attractiveness
>she calls them dogs when they’re ugly or says “woof”/“bow wow”

>dad never understands what’s happening and asks who certain characters are and what they’re about to do, why are they doing it, etc
>will ask me to explain a joke when I laugh and he doesn’t

so he's a nigger then?

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They want to look pretty for you.

>Dad comes in my room when I'm watching kino and asks if I'm going out with friends tonight
>Tell him I'll probably just stay in watching kino
>He tells me that's "cool" and leaves
>Go downstairs for a drink
>See dad on sofa crying with photo album open
>Interrupt him and tell him I'm going out with friends so I might be back late
>He hides the album and pretends he hasn't been crying
>He looks the happiest I've seen him in years
>He tells me to enjoy myself and gives me $10
>Tell him I will
>Go out
>It's like 10:30pm
>Don't have anywhere to go
>Go to McDonald's to get a drink and something to eat to kill some time
>Takes 20 minutes
>Sit in cemetery until 3am
>Go home
>Dad is still up
>He's still smiling
>Asks me how it went
>Tell him it was great
>Asks me if I met any girls
>"N-no"
>"Haha, get 'em next time, son!"
>Gives me a big hug
>Do this for the last three weekends

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>go on Yea Forums
>larp in greentext

I'd have a beer with that guy. Absolutely fucking based.

>watching crank 2 with my parents
>we've watched it at least once before but my mom swears she's never seen it
>horse race sex scene comes on
>we're all cracking up and my mom keeps going "okay you CAN'T tell me I've never seen this, I would've remembered this"
>mfw she does this with every single movie she's ever watched so I don't even know if she's right or not

>black guy appears
>"Oh for God's sake"

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I didn't come to this thread to feel, user

This

Name one (1) kino where mother rapes son. I’ll wait, not because I want to know the name.

Or just have sex with her.

>I don't understand what's going on.
>Is that the good guy or the bad guy?
>What did he say?
>Wow, [actor] was great in [other movie].
>When did this come out?
>Can you turn it up?
>Can you turn it down?
>Can we pause the movie so I can go get a snack?

Sounds like someone never went to college.

americans don't form genuine relationships with their parents - it's often a 'marriage of convenience'

It’s pasta retard

youtube.com/watch?v=GQAJuRcBHug

>dad pauses the movie to tell me why the car chase scene featuring two flipping motorcycles that are both on fire and the protagonist surviving a nuclear bomb wouldn't actually be possible in real life
it's like he thought I was going to be one of those kids that tries to fly by jumping out the window. but he still does this even when I went home for christmas this year at the age of fucking 24.

My father farts in every movie. That's why I don't go to theaters with him no more.

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The projectionist must get pissed.

source?

lol so sad

:D is my favourite. Is it cringey now? fuck.

hahah fucking totally.

>I'm only watching Avengers 3 with him when we can watch 4 right after because everyone comes back lmao marvel

Jesus Christ you baseded out fuck. Your dad molested you.

this except my mother also browses facebook on her phone and will talk to the dog during an important scene

You have a amazing dad.

its prob b8 but jesus christ it got me

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Biological family V. Logical Family

Are YOU me?

Srsly fuck my mom does this too.

Different user btw.

I like my friends.

this is way too relatable but my mother doesn't bother with the pausing or looking shit up thing

I fucking hate certain noises too. Sniffing is another one. Makes living with other people super difficult

they are americans, even worse than negros

kek

why arent you playing jeopardy with your senpai?

why do old people love game shows? they are absolutely disgusting

Can't blame her. Boring as hell

that’s nice of you user, but kinda depressing.
i’m gonna be really sad when my kids get older and move away

senpai

>put Warrior on
>Dad and sister getting really into it, Mom barely paying attention
>big emotional ending
>Mom: "Why are they crying? That's gross"
>Dad and sister blew up at Mom, "THEY'RE BROTHERS MOM, JESUS CHRIST PAY ATTENTION"

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>feel her up a bit before she wakes up

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h-haha could you imagine actually being like this

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I had the exact same experience

>doesn't treat his parents to the kinoplex to enlighten them on art
what a shitty offspring

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Based and redpilled

>>elephants show up
not sure why this made me laugh as hard as it did

Intermissions are fucking amazing and ought to come back between each act.
moments to spitball ideas between viewers.
wasn't hungry before but diner scene makes me want to buy a poppy bucket
spray feces all over the dyson airblade because there was a woman on the screen
etc.
intermissions need a comeback.

Pretty much exactly what my dad does, he just skips around and glosses over the "boring" parts. Whenever we're watching together and he gets up to go do something and I'll pause the film, he just says "It's okay, just keep it running, I can hear it", then he'll be away for like 20 minutes before coming back to resume watching. He once said that if the plot is boring he'll instead just make up his own headcanon of what's happening and if something goes against it, he'll just fast-forward through it.
His film viewing habits are unorthodox, no doubt, but without him, I never would have gotten interested in film. Before dvd's and discs, we'd go to Blockbuster or some other VHS retailer and buy them in boatloads and watch through them together, often just the two of us, but if it was a known film, other siblings would join. We'd rewatch films an insane amount too, Fifth Element being one where we could both recite every single line from beginning to the end.

Based and bluepilled

Based mom

...

me and my dad always make fun of mom because she can't follow the plot for shit

what website is this?

FUCK NIGGERS

Why can’t idiots like you get that some of these anecdotes could have been IN THE PAST when they lived with their parents? What makes you assume all of these are in the present. Goddamn people are fucking dumb