Cinema Horror Stories

Should've put him down like Tony did Chrissy.

>be absolute unit
>also have very low center of gravity
>also have the help of a lack of stabilization on the man's part
And that's how you end up with this webm's situation.

Imagine getting absolutely mogged by a landwhale and being unable to defend yourself because the creature is female

Fuck America sounds wild, like a cartoon

Fucking sumo wrestler.

I just want to take the opportunity to say sumo wrestling is actually an extremely fun sport to watch, look up some professional matches on youtube.

did you ask for a piece of the rotisserie

I fucking wish.

Attached: 1477352850080.png (409x382, 168K)

not even that it's pretty clear the guy isn't fighting back
he only ever gets up and puts his hands up to protect himself/his face but had he thrown one punch and knocked her out her he easily could have gotten arrested for some shit charges, especially with so many people around

violent escalation almost never solves a issue, however one does a right to protect themselves. very touchy subject

Attached: why_didnt_they.jpg (572x549, 37K)

to be fair, she outweighs that guy
being short and stocky gives you a surprising advantage over taller people

>Buy tickets for The Two Towers. Hyped, because I loved the Fellowship.
>Get Popcorn, drink, and everything. Ready and happy.
>Movie starts. Mountains amazing. Then I hear the voices.
>'I am the servant of the secret fire...wielder of the flame of Arnor...'
>Think to myself, 'I've heard this before...that's from when Gandalf is fighting the Balrog in Fellowship...isn't it?'
>Camera zooms in through the mountain, to focus on the bridge of Khazad-Dum.
>'YOU.....SHALL NOT.......PAAAAASSSS!!!!!"
>Get fucking angry that I paid a ticket to see a movie I'd already seen...if Peter Jackson is just going to rehash the damn thing, I'm not going to bother. As Gandalf gets pulled down by the whip, I'm getting up from my chair. Enough of this bullshit.
>Walk out, spilling popped corn on girl sitting next to me. I never bothered to see the Return of the King, I was so angry...

Attached: ....gif (400x316, 979K)

>watching The Grey
>pretty filled theater, kinda strange
>watching Liam Neeson cosh some fucking wolves
>sad scene
>phone rings
>a retard ACTUALLY ANSWERS IT
>"Hullo? OH YAH. NO. IM WATCHING A MOOBY. I GAHTA GHO. BUY BUY!"
>mfw

Attached: 1517332784772.gif (108x147, 284K)

>be me in like 5th grade
>dating this girl for like a month
>her mom drops dead at like 45 years old from a quick illness
>try to be as comforting as I can and she handles it about as well as you'd expect a middle school girl to handle the death of her mom
>fast forward a few weeks
>mom takes us to the movies and drops us off
>we dunno what to watch so she tells me to choose
>Two tickets for Finding Neverland please
>Halfway through I realize this is probably not the best movie for her to be at
>We get towards the end and she's balling and just walks out
>I walk out and find her and she says it's too much for her and she can't keep watching
>I tell her it's okay
>Mom comes and picks us up
>she doesn't say anything the entire way home
>we break up a week later

Attached: 1433883427983.jpg (803x617, 81K)

The niggers enjoying the shit show in the back.

Must be nice to not be in one of those for once.

I'm choosing to suspend my disbelief for 10 seconds to ask you user, are you an impatient person? You should have waited another 10 minutes to see what happened, plus you spent good money on a ticket

Be glad you didn't see RotK.

Attached: 1496617896562.png (1918x1564, 3.71M)

was he screaming at you directly?

>Dating in the 5th grade
Wtf who does that?

>work at theater
>had already watched 300 SOON AS WE GOT THE HARD DRIVE IN
>Friends haven't seen it really want to
>we go, it's busy as fuck. Like packed house. I'm forced to sit right next to stairs
>fat lesbian "ethnic" seated right in front of us
>they are making out, checking their phones, talking, various annoying shit through out the previews
>movie starts they are sucking face
>at least they are being quiet
> suddenly they start chimping about is this our movie?!?!
>EVERYONE SHHHHHHH......
>my buddy Robert throws popcorn at her
>she stands up and steps out to stairs like she's gonna fight.
>I get up cause I don't want to be in the middle of this "ethnic" display
>she loudly screeches "I'm just trynna find uh wut movie dis is"
>I'VE HAD ENOUGH
>AS MUCH ASPIE ANGER AS I CAN MUSTER
>I SCREAM THIS IS 300 and then I kick her, meant to not make contact, slip on step and actually power smash her to the carpet walk.
>Theater erupts in cheers
>oh shit what did I just do
>run out and drive home
>Get a call next day I'm fired and need to return my uniform and have to sign a trespassing affidavit from said theater

>not having pointless gfs before you're old enough to know better

Holding hands was like Everest's peak. Everyone at my school had pointless bfs and gfs, and all our parents knew each other and probably laughed about it. I figured it was normal.

Nah just like general frustration that we weren't up to his exacting standards and was too cluttered and what not.

The nog in the 80's style anal sex shirt is fucking loving it. Cracks me up everytime

>autistic kid felt the need to commentate throughout the whole movie

Nah, my aunt had bought the ticket for me. I had to tell her I liked it afterwards (she was out shopping at the same mall). I ended up outside talking to a goth chick while I smoked som cigs to make my pressure go down. She was cool...but her nosering was infected at the time...fucking disgusting.

Well, most sequels are shit anyway. Star Wars, The Matrix...it's all the same. The studios get the money from the first, and the rest goes to shit.

Attached: I am out.gif (295x221, 613K)

>t. Didn't see The Hobbit movies or any new Star Wars dogshit

Attached: PFO.jpg (733x1024, 151K)

Just have to find a cinema in a less Diverse area

What's the story behind this web? What were they fighting over?

boyfriend/girlfriend I hope signifying why he didnt fight back

He bought the last diet coke.

They ran out of burgers, tubbygirl instead goes to beat and eat an innocent bystander who smelled like soup

Hobbit looked like a disaster from the get-go: how the fuck do you turn a small book into 3 movies? Fuck that shit...money-grab no matter what.

New Star Wars was also going to be shit. Girl fights like man, and Han and Chewy suddenly appear at the end of the trailer so people clap? Fuck that shit. Money for nostalgia. Can't they come up with something original? How about 'new star wars movie with no old characters?' I'd watch that...

>Haven't gone to the movies in ages...don't miss the sticky floors, the dirty pissed on seats, the small screen, the one speaker on the right that vibrates the lights anytime a dinosaur passes by, and most of all, I don't miss the fucking parents who bring their screaming pieces of shit children who kick the goddamned chair with all their might. Ungrateful bastards, all of them.

Attached: booo.gif (432x243, 3.84M)

>being short and stocky gives you a surprising advantage over taller people

cope manlet

When I went to see Star Wars episode 7 some fat dork like 3 seats down in the packed theater was coughing and vomiting into his fucking popcorn bucket and refused to leave and do that shit in the restroom.

>go to see Skull Island
>autist brother has been in line for an hour
>he's saving a spot in front of six people
>I'm not petty and refuse to cut in line
>he spergs out for a while
>no one there but retards and four year olds
>another literal autist sits right next to me
>ignores cup holders
>balances his barrel-sized cup carefully between the seats
>I hear a comical 'shoop' noise
>he wonders where his pop went
>notices there's a small pond heading my way
>goes on a jittery wiggly meltdown for a minute
>then he ignores it all through the trailers
>the lake comes for me and the lights go down
>Airplane dogfight over the sea
>I'm over that sea
>Kong fighting a squid
>I'm in that lake
>halfway through the movie autist decides to do something
>he runs and gets a towel
>shoves a small tidal wave over my feet
>I had been dry somehow up until that point
>all the four year olds and retards laugh and cheer and guffaw at everything in the movie
>and I was the only one to stay through the credits to see the post-credits scene while the janitors mopped around me

I think watching King Kong movies in a cinema is cursed somehow.

Attached: itseverywhere.jpg (526x478, 33K)

how about you educate yourself on the strengths and weaknesses
youtube.com/watch?v=RibrPouvGDE

Attached: when will they learn.jpg (861x636, 70K)

>"Short vs Tall:how to cope" the video

Ya i'm not watching that faggot.

You’re a bit of a hothead huh

oh god. reminds me of the time i dragged my philistine sisters to a showing of Aguirre, the Wrath of God. this lonely poindexter sits down next to me and just randomly starts talking to me about herzog or whatever and i just politely ask him to leave me alone. my sisters fell asleep during the showing and said they hated it when it was over

HAAHAHA manlets actually think this stuff is going to work

>watched that fucking forgotten magic movie starring Vin Diesel
>There's that autistic kid trying to crack jokes
It was hilarious how much he tried desu

Nice

>Filmschoolfag
>Take class on documentary films
> Second week of class
> Nanook of the North
> Teacher starts the movie, leaves to get laptop.
>Fucking black people start losing it
>White people too
Some fucking guy behind me started snoring during the fog of war too. Ishygddt

>watch a late night screening of Overlord with two female friends
>it was just us and two other guys in the near front row at the theater
>midway through the movie, i realize my wallet is missing
>internal panic mode
>first thing that came to mind was the restaurant we ate dinner at before we went to the cinema
>i excuse myself
>friends probably think i'm just going to the comfort room
>proceed to run
>tell the female security guard "i'll come back, i lost my wallet somewhere"
>restaurant is about 4 blocks away
>check watch, 11:35
>relatively small town so streets are near empty already
>i get there and the guys are cleaning up the place
>i approach the manager who's doing some accounting shit
>tell her i mustve left my wallet here earlier
>she asks the wagies and they tell no, they didnt see anything
>manager tells me to come back tomorrow, she'll review the cctv footage
>ok i'm fine with that
>i head back to the theater
>running at a really fast pace again

Cont.

Attached: 1550204291354.jpg (700x700, 140K)

>captain marwhale

25 getting a HJ from girlfriends 14 year old sister who I helped skip school. Girlfriend walks into theater and knows whats up. Grabs her sister and walks out. Lose girlfriend, lose loli, dont cums.

It wasn't rehashed shit. The story continues from there, following Gandalf and the Balrog. It was great and you should really get your adhd fixed.

>get dragged to some horror movie called mommy dearest or momma something
>it is packed full of teenagers, blacks, families.
>the black teens are in different groups spread around the theatre.
>the main group has kids on the phones, giving commentary out loud, and just being an overall nuisance.
>during previews hear nonstop no you stfu no you stfu from the different chimp tribes
>the horror movie immersion is ruined by their overreacting to jumpscares.
>eventually the tension rises after girl has 5-10 phone call outloud people are annoyed.
>they have been making noises most of the movie, the kids end up yelling at each other across the theatre saying to shutup no you stfu. SHHHH
>an old man stops the ruckus
>never want to be in theatre again.

milk tank just arrive

Well at least they didn't get the cops involved, and you've got fap fuel for decades.

Relating to OPs webm.
These fat bitchs think they're top shit, looks wise and tough wise. Its always satasfying to reject and humiliate them publicly (like at a bar) then watch them sperg the fuck out. Ive been thrown down like the guy in the webm before but once i stood up (im 6ft4) and looked like i was gonna stab her and go mental (start yelling, grab a bottle thats close by) they back off immedietly and thats the moment when you crush them mentally with abuse for being a disgusting fat body.
Nothing more satasfying than some fat bitch who gets her 30 seconds of fatty/tard strength, then realising shes fucked the look on her face changes from I look like a super model and i can fight like ronda rousey to fuck im in over my head, i shouldnt have shoved those 6 donuts in earlier, now everyones laughing at me.

Same goes for antifa type cucks, if you dont antagonize them, wait for them to start something and proceed to push their shit in and watch their little fairy tale world crash around them. Priceless

sounds delightful

being short and stocky gives you a surprising advantage over taller people

Its actually doesnt.

t. manlet whos been in alot of fights.

Shut up newfaggot nobody cares about your faggot opinion

Theres some things you can never recover from and getting your ass handed to you but a short, obese and giant titted female in a fresh is one of them. That pussy ass beta, I hope he commits sepukku.

BY THE POWER OF GREYSKULL
youtube.com/watch?v=V8h8snfYidg

63 replies,not a single link or run down. Fuck you Yea Forums

At least we're not indians

youtube.com/watch?v=GpvtxQmHudo

full video? dem tits.

thanks a billions poo(s), this one never gets old

Attached: ∞ keks.jpg (815x582, 171K)

That's nothing

Attached: de155b0e-1023-42b7-a897-0cb75519ba56.jpg (1080x1431, 279K)

nah man, you could see that he regreted that he had to do it. He regretted he did it, realized that all he had to do as a boss, was take care of chrissy. Chrissy would have died for him if he only showed just the least amount of big brother concern and love.

>go to theater to see a movie I was really interested in
>turns out the movie sucked shit
>go home and feel bad

Attached: 1549694553121.jpg (1029x1029, 173K)

sounds like it would be more entertaining than the movie

Where's the one with the LED strobe lights that flash around the screen signalling the crowd to start chimping out?

I felt like that after Man of Steel.

HE'S GONE TOO FAR THIS TIME
HE CAN'T EVEN CONTROL THEM ANY MORE

Attached: know-the-face-of-terror.jpg (299x168, 6K)

SOMEONE GIVE ME A LINK TO THE SAUCE

At least the post credits scene teased an excellent movie, which there are only 94 days until

Attached: gojirapepe.jpg (904x596, 169K)

I'd make you suck the warts off my cock fag

>I am the gayest faggot in both the known and unknown universe
alright

Pretty relatable, especially when I saw Pompeii with a friend of mine. Biggest regret ever.
>watch Rampage starring the Rock with a friend
>retards behind us start screaming and rooting at the previews
>Venom trailer plays
>”Is ThAT SpIDeRMaN?” followed by “THaT Is aWEsoMe” from the retards in the most laughable voice ever
>can’t stop laughing

>watch Homeland where fucking Jason Statham fights that faggot from 127 hours (whatever the fuck it’s called)
>teens start talking loud during the film
>fighter friend hits one of them hard and they shut the fuck up til the end of the film

I actually literally brought a full rotisserie chicken into a movie theatre ones. Buddies and I ate it, then left the bones under one of the seats, then decided to move because everything smelled like chicken. 5 minutes later a black couple came and sat in that exact spot. No word of a lie.

>be black
>go to special screening for youths
>girl played Suri is at screening
>my fellow class mates start whooting and hollering when she does the intro
>PROGRAM IS SUPPOSED TO SUPPORT AND INSPIRE FUTURE BLACK FILM MAKERS
>Watch film think it's meh
>SURI is taking questions on film
>almost immediately first you questions are "uh hey yeau gurl my question is what yo number is"

>I Suddenly realize I'm the next spike lee, surrounded by Tyler perry's.

that's what happens when you go toe to toe with donkey kong

youtube.com/watch?v=_cHSaJvnR80

Attached: 1471231539572.jpg (240x251, 23K)

Literally sounds like you found a street that took you straight to a movie theater in hell.

>I suddenly realize I'm the next Spike Lee
So you'll make 1 good thing and be an obnoxious hack the rest of your career?

absolute unit

you were the nigger in this scenario

Attached: 1483395655052.gif (255x190, 976K)

Perry is a way bigger hack.
Yeah I make one thing good and get to coast, fine by me.

More misadventures in crusty dark auditoriums await!

Attached: gojanonraidsagain.jpg (548x480, 60K)

here
the hero we needed

>go watch The Revenant with a friends
>It's at one of those shitty theaters that make all their money on Bollywood movies
>Throught the movie we hear intervals of loud screaming and cheering
>Sometimes it got so loud that we couldn't hear the dialogue
This went on for a couple of more movies. There's cases where they play mostly Bollywood films.

youtube.com/watch?v=KQHSn10-G8Q

Attached: the_sauce_for_sources.jpg (770x770, 242K)

>
>nah man, you could see that he regreted that he had to do it. He regretted he did it, realized that all he had to do as a boss, was take care of chrissy. Chrissy would have died for him if he only showed just the least amount of big brother concern and love.

Nah, Chris fucked up by being high after multiple interventions. Tony did the right thing by getting rid of a liability.

Attached: bronson.jpg (660x1100, 209K)

>Episode II
>Midnight premier
>biggest cinema in Nashville
>had to work so waited at the end of long line
>still got a seat for the first showing
>a few people in robes with sabers but no turbo spergs
>mostly white 20somethings
>crowd was exited but not overzealous
>some cheers at the beginning but then everyone watched the movie
>end fight comes
>Yoda starts jumping everywhere
>theater loses it
shit was so cash
I feel bad for ya'll

Based. Episode II is literally my favourite film.

Attached: retardation.jpg (640x451, 54K)

What the fuck are you trying to say user?

No bully pls

>go to see dark knight
>Some bull shit marketing ploy
>throws in smoke grenade starts shooting
>REALIZE I'M GOING TO BE IN ONE OF THOSE SHITTY IN THEATER WATCHING AUDIENCE ADS
>Quickly get up from seat while I guess extras were pretending to get shot
>immediately March to management to demand refund and didn't desire to be filmed
>manager yells at me to exit theater there is shooting
>realize that I'm not going to get my money back, and that whatever production company was making the ad sucked.
>don't watch movies in Colorado.

wrong movie retard

You can't just say something as stupid as "Episode II is literally my favourite film" and expect not to get bullied.

Attached: teaching you.jpg (416x620, 61K)

My worst experience in film was getting fired for a self-important public masturbator tripping over a stand acting like a woman about it.

m8

look at those heaving jugs

mmm juicy fat tits

Can't invalidate my experience bro. I was forced into a shitty commercial for which I was unpaid and didn't get reimbursed the cost of my ticket. All for some tasteless advert.

>Cumskins in their natural element.
Sure is.

Reported for harrassment. This kind of thing won't fly on 4channel

REMEMBER LADS
Mass = might
Getting fat is the easiest way to get strong. It's like lifting weights every second of every day.
Broscience tip of the day.

This is largely true.

Based user

LOL at the black dude in the white and black shirt losing his shit at this spectacle.

Her form is impeccable and she is fuckin' tossing that guy around who isn't small. If she was born a man she'd probably be selected in the 3rd round by the NY Jets to play Guard

You are legend.

>Went to see The Mummy Returns when I was a kid.
>Loved the first one so this was a big deal for me so I begged my parents to go to the movies even though we were on vacation.
>Were staying somewhere in Hollywood at the time.
>Went to this sketchy ass huge old theatre.
>Got a big ass pop corn and some sodas and went in.
>Theatre was already full of people so we sat in a large balcony area.
>Some mexican woman was constantly talking to her friend nearby and the two of them were very clearly drinking from a large bottle of wine.
>Below us was some school field trip or something with a billion inner-city kids that were throwing shit at each other and every 10 minutes 2-3 of them were dragged out of their seats by the teachers.
>Some weird homeless looking guy was sitting way in the back eating like 6 hamburgers, kept mumbling lines from Indiana Jones, like "It belongs in a museum!" and "Why did it have to be (scorpions)" and other weird shit.

>be working at kinoplex
>some city slicker pulls up in his fancy german car
>gucci loafers too, fuck
>obviously better than me
>buys 1 pack of gummy bears
>leaves without even seeing a movie
Wonder what he was planning to do with those gummy bears

>Drag girlfriend to see Logan
>Old fucking couple sit 5 seats away from us
>Trailers go and they talk
>Movie starts and the old fucks are still talking
>Mildly annoyed but figure they'll shut up when Wolverine slices throats
>Still talking
>Halfway in something smells of shit
>Think the old fuck shit himself.
>The smell was putrid. The smell of two Indian's sharing one bathroom after a Burrito Bowl from Chipotle
>Movie ends

Hated Logan because old couple ruined it.

Saw it months later. Pretty good.

Attached: logan.jpg (220x326, 98K)

>>Some weird homeless looking guy was sitting way in the back eating like 6 hamburgers, kept mumbling lines from Indiana Jones, like "It belongs in a museum!" and "Why did it have to be (scorpions)" and other weird shit.
All me, sorry user

This is why you gotta attend theaters that have stairs, no old people.

Whiteys ruining another movie

Go away, commie bastard

Dude, Rubens died in, like, 1640.

>go to see the shitty silent hill sequel with my dad
>only other people are a mom and daughter and for some reason they sit directly behind us
>they made the mistake of buying the movie theater "hotdogs"
>daughter tells mom she doesn't feel good right before movie starts
>a few minutes the daughter gets up to presumably run to the bathroom to vomit but ends up vomiting hotdog and cherry icee over my back
the movie sucked and i had to throw away my jacket

Attached: 1531921798321.jpg (655x643, 79K)

Now you see why he was fired.

how high are you?

You better start fucking running old man.

How high was the guy seeing a dead artist?

>Think the old fuck shit himself.
>>>>>The smell was putrid. The smell of two Indian's sharing one bathroom after a Burrito Bowl from Chipotle
fuckin kek, feel bad for you

Attached: whats that smell.jpg (645x773, 30K)

that homeless guy sounds based

Based recap hater

Movie theaters in heavily black areas are hilarious. I saw Fast and the Furious Tokyo Drift in one specifically for that reason. It's certainly an experience.

Based Paul

Someone should edit that to be videogame-themed, like make HUD with some dead souls monster title like "titted hambeast monster" and at the end it says "You Died".

Sorry that post wasn't TV-related, uh

Ted Danson looks like Harry Hamlin

I once rewatched the entire Breaking Bad series without pooping. I think I also fasted while doing it to prevent pressure from building up, but I do not really remember; maybe I didn't fast while rewatching the series.

When I finished in a few days or something I didn't ever want to use the toilet.

Someone stole my leather gloves that were valuable.

It is normal. I had one too. is probably confused or a bitter incel.

you're so fucking lucky that they didnt call the cops dude

>Dad and I went to see Hudson Hawk at a nice low traffic theater.
>In comes a sheboon family, but they're quiet.
>Trailers start and I hear brown bag specials coming from the chimps (pay no mind, probably snuck in candy).
>Movie is about to start and all is quiet (calm before the storm).
>Soda cans are cracking open to my left, then I'm flanked with the sounds of potato chip bags rustling about, and what do my ears hear directly in front of me? "Latonda, pass me muh fruit salad!"
>Then the smell hits me, they're eating tuna fucking fish sandwiches.
>Not even 15 minutes into the movie, realize it sucks, dad and I walk out.

This is why blacks were segregated

>reno 911 movie comes out when im in early high school (15, maybe 16)
>go with newish GF, maybe only been dating a couple months. go right after getting tai food for lunch
>its literally just us and 2 other people sitting alllll the way in the front row so sit in back
>movie is fairly mediocre so start putting my hand down her shirt and playing with her tits a little
>shes really into it and she starts giving me an over the pants hj
>immediately start feeling my stomach swelling with the tai food from lunch, but not gonna blow this chance
>start fingering her a bit, shes loving it, starts undoing my zipper
>o shit this is happening
>she starts moving her head towards my dick, have never gotten a bj before at this point
>my stomach makes an audible grumble. I already know its unavoidable, need to relieve some pressure but figure i can try to do some little silent ones
>right her lips touch the head of my cock i look back up at the screen and the Rock blows himself up with a grenade
>let out a huge laugh as I release a 5 second fart so long and loud the people in the front row turn around as well as spraying brown tai shitjuice into a pool in my partially pulled down pants
>she immediately starts crying
>rats in front row get the manager
>parents are called
>whole time I have a huge shit stain in my (of course) khaki pants
I still have never seen the rest of the movie

Attached: just witchman.jpg (185x272, 8K)

I was in that theater watching Amazing Spiderman at the time of the shooting. Shit was cash.

Literally the only person I knoe more retarded than you is my mum's old work colleague who left a performance of les miserables during the intermission because they thought it was over.

HJ=handjob

This seems like the full version but what happens after the camera cuts off? Is it the full full version though?

lol have you ever managed to get a blowjob since?

>Americans

Just happy no niggers started screaming WHIRL STAAAHH in the background

>commie
What makes you think that?

I wonder how risky it is to get a blowjob from a prostitute. Maybe a prostitue's mouth is more dirty from meth or whatever compared to the mouth of that user's girlfriend.

How do I get a lighting job? I'm 5 hours from LA and willing to move.

she looks like she fucks black men

Eh-tier bait

>He actually treats them as two separate people.
Wouldn't you?
You realize Pee Wee isn't Paul Reubens's actual personality, right?

>go to see The Truman Show
>hear noises from back of theater
>HURRRRRRRRRRR DURRRRRR
>sporadically for the whole movie
>movie ends
>lights on
>it was an actual retard
gross

Attached: 1548715400854.png (250x202, 8K)

Sorry

>me be
>be 24, manlet, obviously mentally ill
>go to theater alone
>

lmao you'll never be able to watch or think about truman show without hearing that retard in your head

I have never had a bad cinema experience in my life, I pity those who live in a country full of garbage people.

went to see worlds fastest indian and an old couple in front of me, I think the husband couldn't really hear and the wife was blind so she would shout the dialogue in his ear and he would tell her what was happening on the screen

>dat flamboyantly Gay black guy in the background.

Attached: gay-obama-carnival.jpg (180x262, 11K)

>People are actually falling for this

Attached: 5Nzn6qs3uRkmDXC8F8Fvx5jXlEo_HYwu7ZA7ilZIsdQ.jpg (614x768, 45K)

European here. I was thinking of moving to America, specifically Nebraska.

What are the chance of me running into nignogs and other ne'er-do-wells?

Attached: hot.jpg (1169x745, 133K)

But that was good.

Low unless you go to Omaha

kind of sounds like theyre naturally always drunk

Sounds based
Of course, as one experience. Not to live in

looks like Zuckerberg from the thumbnail

>specifically Nebraska
why?

I went and saw vice last night and some guy was getting a handjob next to me, that was pretty horrific

>rambo
>theater full of chads
>rambo mounts the 50 cal
>turns gook into shredded meat
>guy next to me smacks my arm
>i'm ready to fight, so much test in the air
>he's holding up his hand for a hi five
>"fuck yeah"
>we hi five
>the theater is giving a standing ovation, cheering
>fuck yeah

>be me
>8 or 9 years old? i don't remember
>went with my mom and sister to go see Harry Potter 4
>I got some nachos with melted cheese and chilli sauce and guac and shit
>Halfway through the movie I accidentally spilled my nachos over the man sitting next to us
>Man immediately stands up and screams at me
>Shouting "WHAT THE FUCK? THERE'S NACHOS AND SAUCE ALL OVER MY PANTS"
>recede into my chair, scared shitless
>parents try to defend me
>"oh he's only young, i'm sorry please calm down"
>guy continues to make a huge scene about it, swearing and cursing every other word
>literally half of the theatre is looking at us
>tfw i can still picture this dude's red ass face screaming at 8 year old me

i'm still traumatised

Attached: crying.jpg (800x450, 153K)

Watching shitty horror movie with blacks is always entertaining.

You deserved it

Cheers user this gave me a good chuckle

Attached: 1469522496655.jpg (251x206, 8K)

why dont you just give them their own ethnostate in america? it might sorta solve this

>that gay nigger in the background holding his hand in front of his mouth

lmao

>violent escalation almost never solves a issue,
It works we you escalate it beyond what your opponent can/is willing to do

"Turbo Sperg" is now the name of my band

>escalate beyond opponent
>beat them
>receive criminal charges

I WAS THAT MAN!!! I'M STILL SEETHING!! YOU LITTLE SHIT!!! THE STAINS ARE STILL ON MY PANTS!! GIVE ME YOUR ADRESS !!!

"Works" is relative. Unless you actually think your pecs can take on local, state and federal law-enforcement agencies.

youtube.com/watch?v=55EWHflRTZg
youtube.com/watch?v=sq_fLVy0EOE
>go to indian cinema
>die in firework explosion
>fire escape leads directly to shitting street

>one guy is beatboxing

My fucking sides

Sub 80 iq at work.

its that black gay gentlemans first trip to the city how quaint! This is straight white people mating dance now.

Attached: American_Burgers.jpg (640x640, 55K)

This wouldve been a hilarious greentext if you didnt mix up TDK with TDKR

Fight back whiteboi Jesus Christ

for you

lmaaoooo

Attached: 7.gif (382x308, 1.47M)

Are they even paying attention to the movie?
Or are movie theaters there just places to get high/drunk/ etc?

Why was it so hard for you to just ask them to shut the fuck up?

I didn't even notice the second whale fighting another dude on the left kek

Attached: 762AC4DD-0900-404C-9B7D-A0D5803B78B7.png (140x140, 2K)

If you're countering someone's advantage, then you are at the disadvantage, keep seething kevin hart

Worst experience was when I visited a cinema in the UK

>I walk up the concession stand and order a Large Popcorn with Extra Butter and a Coke Zero®
>"Popped corn? POPPED CORN? Lawd we don't serve that mangy bilge over 'ere, it's Bangers an Mash or nuffin!"
>"Please sir, I just want-"
>"BANGERS AN' MASH, BANGERS AN' MASH, FIDDLE DE-DIDDLE-DE-DEE, BANGERS AN' MASH! BANGERS AN' MASH! AND A CUPPA CUPPA TEA"
>order the slop anyway, it's covered in gravy and it reeks
>take my seat, the urchin next to me steals a sausage and coughs up blood in my face.
>Before the film starts we have to salute the Queen

Luckily at this point an IRA bomb went off, killing me and everyone else in the cinema.

Saw Rambo in the theater as well, can confirm it was a amazing experience.

>watching any superhero flick
>theres a break in the action for characters to talk
>suddenly 4-5 phones light up
EVERYTIME

Attached: 1522817023903.jpg (1920x1080, 608K)

Away rabbi

>go to theater snack bar
>guy pokes his head up from behind the counter
>he has HUGE gauged ears
>one of his ear lobes is fucking RIPPED
>I mean he just had this long flap of torn skin dangling around his shoulder.
>"hey, you guys want some pop corn?"
>trying everything in my power not to vomit
>"N-n-no thanks, we're good..."

Attached: download (1).jpg (300x168, 8K)

Wow. Really? Can you be more specific? I haven't been the the theaters to see superhero movies any time in the past years.

>go to see Borg vs McEnroe
>was literally the only person in the theatre
>started wondering if I hadn't shown up, would they have screened it at all
>realized all this stuff is automated and they probably would have shown it anyway
>real "if a tree falls in the woods" stuff
>feels.jpeg

Seeking some RELEASE from numbing ANGUISH me and the boys rolled up to DAS KINOPLEX last night after a harrowing forty mile TREK through the frozen WRAITH-ZONE making it just as the ravenous TYRANT MOTHS began their pre-mating MANHUNT. The distant FOG-HORNS gradually being overtaken by the deadly, silken FLUTTERING of their sable WINGS.

The EMBERS of the last audience were dying down in the CREMATORIA, needless to say we had a good LAUGH in the PENIS INSPECTION line when my bro Skyler got DRAGGED OFF by the guards to serve a fifty year sentence in the POPCORN MINES for wearing a non-regulation FALCONER'S GLOVE. The SHOWERS were pumping that good-ol' ZYKLON-B that gets you extra loose for the RAUNCHY fun; trying to hold your BREATH is good practice for trying not to PISS yourself later.

My man ROBERT served us up some tasty and very litty CRAB LEGS with extra 'BUTTER', well worth the SEVEN HUNDRED and EIGHTY TWO dollars FIFTY for the TIP. Once we were INSIDE the film hadn't even STARTED before the first drips of PISS came out. An y'all just KNOW that nothing sets off the bloodlust of a TERROR-GHEIST like warm, 'buttery' PISS. Half the SQUAD was DRAGGED into the OUTER-DARKNESS before our BLADDERS were half-empty but even the keening shrieks of the ORPHANED ONES couldn't drown out this raucous COM-BOMB. When the GUARDS came to finish off the SURVIVORS I was able to ESCAPE by using the CORPSE of my bro JONNY D as a CANOE when the lake of PISS was drained down the sluice normally used for flushing blood and FLESH. I only had to wait THREE HOURS in the rank soup of run-off MEDICAL WASTE and avoid the TELEPATHIC SHARKS that make the sewers their HOME. It wasn’t so bad except for being driven MAD by the hungry WHISPERS of all the GHOSTS.

10/10 SUMMER FUN, would SEE again

Big butte

Attached: 1506235976213.jpg (210x243, 7K)

absolutely based nigger-smashing chad

I got my first gf in 5rh grade and my first titty grab in 7th. What's wrong with you?

I feel like they would not have shown it to minimize their electric bill.

>go to the theater to see "It" (the movie)
>cute girl from school is there with two of her friends
>we all talk in the lobby while getting snacks
>they ask me to sit near them
>feel like life is doing me a kindness
>we talk about the tv series, our expectations, spiders, etc
>feel like I can get her number if I play my cards right
>imagine us dating and all the places I would take her and how I would celebrate our anniversary and her birthday and stuff like that
>movie starts
>we're all having a great time
>I wake up in the back of an ambulance
>"user, you lost consciousness back there"
>smell shit
>ass is wet
>shit myself when I passed out
>when I was next to the grils
>get tests done
>turns out my new medication gave me extremely low blood pressure
>go back to school the next day
>see grils
>make eye contact with one of them
>she turns her head away in second-hand embarrassment
I still daydream about what our shared future could have been

that sort of cost saving common sense is fully overridden by the minute chance of someone paying for a ticket mid-movie

I haven't been to the movies since 2007
Now give me a (You) for sharing how boring my life is

Attached: 1539135188834.jpg (970x600, 295K)

>go to see p shitty movie
>already annoyed with low quality motion picture but fuck it i paid
>gathering of slavs beside me mostly women start chatting/giggling
>anger builds
>gf rubs my arm to keep me chilled
>piece of shit slavs talk/laugh full volume entire movie for 90 mins straight
>i pop
> WILL YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP
>slavman looks at me aghast
>THE WHOLE FUCKING MOVIE MAN GET THE FUCK OUT IF YE WANNA TALK
>heads in theatre spin around
>slavman nods says ok looking at me like one might look at a homeless man waving a broke bottle
>slavs proceed to leave theatre quietly

My gf p much sank into her chair as far as possible to avoid stares but felt great desu

can you please larp somewhere else

Based Jon telling it like it is

>go see movie
>have bad gas from mcdonalds I hate before the movie
>try to time my fart to happen during a loud scene
>loud scene immediately goes silent as my fart happens
one guy clapped so it wasn't too bad overall

Absolute unit.

Thanks hun but it's primarily because no gf (going to movies as an adult by yourself or with other dudes is gay)

> was forced to see the first fantastic beasts movie with backboard ex-friend
> annoying family sat directly behind us
> dad kicked my chair the entire movie
> the movie was fucking awful

Honestly the only negative experiences I've had with going to the cinema is the dreaded cinema bladder where your bladder suddenly shrinks to like a quarter of it's normal size and the assholes who designed the kinoplex made sure to place the toilets as far away from the auditorium as possible and it would also be impossible to get back inside.

Sounds like a pretty normal experience to me

I worked at a movie theater in the early 2000s, Had 12 screens so a large sized place. All the projectors ran off a networked version of Linux and were automated. There was only two projectionists that would come in to add or remove films maybe once a week. On the quiet days there would be empty theaters and the movies would play for noone. You could skip the film / turn it off but the management didn't care.

>gauged ears
How does one gauge something? A gauge is a measurement unit you sperg

Good lord, where is Robert when you need him!?

>live in Europe
>even in the maot ghetto areas everyone in the cinema remains quiet during the movie
>Always see movies drunk and continue drinking
>mfw I am the nigger
I always keep quiet at least.

>live in europe
>used to quiet movie theater
>a group of faggots always start clapping at certain scenes
>think to myself "must be americans"
>pass them on the way out to overhear what language they're speaking
>they're actually greek
what the fuck was that about? do meds clap too?

Greeks are turk mutts.
Being mutts must be causing the clapping.

can't be that, i'm bulgarian. we would be clapping too if that was the reason.

>went to see deadpool with gf
>see next to another dude
>clearly seen the trailers a bunch
>he echoes every scene in my right ear, repeating quips as they’re said
>movie was a piece of shit and the faggot next to me just made me even more mad

fuck off I go see movies by myself all the time

You can't beat my story, two people with down syndrome fucking in the middle of the foyer in front of EVERYONE. There was a big line for some movie opening and people everywhere. They were making god awful unnatural sounds too.

Are you being retarded on purpose? You better not be.

Attached: crying lol.jpg (227x220, 25K)

I hope you were by yourself

Alcohol is liquid nigger

I've seen this shit first hand.
Some chick from work has "plugs/gauges" and they look breathtakingly disgusting when she forgets to put them in.
Like a gooey mass hanging off each side of her head.

>he doesn't clap at the wagies cleaning the popcorn covered floors
Why are Brit's so uncivilized?

>defend yourself from an attacker
>get arrested
Who is in the wrong here?

You can absolutely get charged for excessive force, my dude.
>women violates the NAP by brushing past you
>WOAH DUDE THAT'S A VIOLATION OF MY PERSONAL SPACE AND BODILY INTEGRITY
>immediately gun her down
>charged with first degree murder

>Go to Unbroken with my dad and some family on Christmas day
>Dad has notoriously short fuse
>movie is going alright for a while, then some dude by us starts coughing some
>stops coughing and the movie goes on
>ten minutes later guy starts coughing up a storm and we can barely hear the dialogue
>Dad yells "shut the fuck up Typhoid Mary I'm trying to watch the film"
Coughing guy gave us pissed off glares the rest of the movie but we didn't get in trouble, that's about it lel

This loooks like kino. I wish all action films where like this

>Be me
>be after late night showing of Alita
>Theater was nice
>get in my car and turn it on
>headlights shine onto the back of a dudes shirt
>ohshit.jpg
>notice his pants are down
>Hefuckin.gov
>Guy would turn around
>notice he's butt fucking a man
>they stare like deer in headlights
>I can feel my sides reach the other end of the world
>honk my horn as I pull away and scream from my window “BROKE BACK MOUNTAIN!”
>tfw

Attached: 58011938-4902-4997-82B8-457FD2958611.jpg (640x360, 39K)

>getting your hopes up for a movie
I miss being a teenager

>watching br2049 with gf
>both having a great time
>maybe 5 other people in theatre
>around the kissing in the rain scene motherfucking sloth from the goonies shows up
>"sORrY" as he awkwardly shuffles past everyone
>would continually blurt out random obvious shit and spoilers
>like scourgewhen he sees black child slavery guy sloth screams out "HE WilL fIND thE HORsE FroM HIs MEMorY"
>"BUt IT Wasn'T ACTuaLLy HIm"
>or my personal favorite "JOi wiLl DIE NOw" right before the boot came down
>2 people walked out immediately after
Tards are honestly a scourge

Attached: Sloth.jpg (704x480, 53K)

Tard once ripped out a theater chair and screamed like a banshee when I saw Batman

There was a month I was afraid to go to theaters because I read a bunch of news stories about people getting jumped for no reason at those places

>Or are movie theaters there just places to get high/drunk/ etc?
Movies are an Event for poos.
Have you ever watched a bollywood film?
Every genre possible is packed into one film, plus it's also a musical at times.
I remember watching one that started out as a romantic comedy with the cheesy scenes and actual mass synchronized singing and dancing and then the film somehow ended as a spy thriller involving assassination and revenge killing - played straight, without a trace of the initial mirthful tone it started with 2 and half hours earlier.

The poos want their money's worth when they go to the kinoplex, and a ticket probably costs like a year's salary for some to take their families.

I want to habeeb.

Wew

Based

Jesus fucking Lord, burn it down

Holy shit I'm crying

Dont tell me what to do

Truly inspiring

HAHAHAHA

bro

Why is She-Hulk tossing Captain Rogers around that McDonalds?

Attached: Celebrate-Barrie-Captain-America-and-She-Hulk-480x270.jpg (480x270, 54K)

Did you ever find your wallet? At least finish your story

Fuck him.

youtu.be/S_n06VyyG-U

>AS WE GOT THE HARD DRIVE IN
bro we were still using 35mm when that movie came out. i was a projectionist and had to build it up onto a platter system. movie sucked.

Those movies sound amazing honestly

>go to see the jungle book at midnight because i'm a fucking idiot and thought it would be fun
>enter theater with some popcorn
>theater is half full despite it being midnight
>there's a couple drunk people, some stoned people, a group of mexican teenagers, and a dad with a kid who looked like he was 6
>stoners have a bunch of chips with them, and are loudly eating them
>sit in the front row
>kid starts crying about how tired he is
>a couple of the drunk people vomit
>the stoned people start talking really loudly
>the teenagers start throwing popcorn and candy at people
>they hit the dad and kid a few times, but the dad doesn't say anything
>kid finally loses it and throws his soda
>it hits me, and drenches me and the popcorn
>dad apologizes, then leaves promising to buy me another popcorn (he didn't come back lol)
>someone gets a call around the scene with the christopher walken monkey
>refuses to answer, so they keep getting called for the rest of the movie
>climax of movie
>teenagers start screaming about how epic it is, and then throw their empty popcorn buckets at the screen
>I'm sitting there covered in sprite
>most of the drunk people are asleep
>high people are still blabbering about some nonsense
>get up to leave once movie ends
>drunk guy stumbles into me
>trip and land in popcorn
>floor smells like stale piss
>get up and exit theater covered in soda and sticky popcorn

overall 5/10 not my best kino viewing session

I know that's you but what am I?

Attached: peewee.jpg (400x555, 61K)

>Go to see Thor: Ragnarok
>gf just dumped me so i went to the cinema alone for the first time ever i believe
>Its IMAX
>Im too retarded to understand regular 3D glasses do not work with IMAX but bring them along thinking they do
>Movie starts
>icantseeshit.jpg
>Walk out quickly to get a pair of IMAX glasses downstairs (the theater has mutliple floors)
>Rush back up to the theater
>Movie is still in the opening scene so i didnt miss too much
>mfw i forgot what row i was sitting on and im nightblind as fuck
>dont want to grab my phone as a flashlight because i always get annoyed by other people who do this
>Find my row but entire row is filled with families
>My seat is directly in the middle
>Start trying to quickly walk to my seat
>Trying not to fall as i maneuver myself in front of people
>Everyone pulls in their legs so i can pass by
>Some idiot fucking boomer refuses to pull in his feet and i can't see it
>I fucking trip, face first into his wife's crotch
>Out of reflex grab his armrest
>Miss, grab their kids leg instead
>Kid panics, starts crying
>The woman starts chanting at me whilst grabbing her kid
>The father looks at me like im some kind of pedo
>Have to sit next to these people for the enire movie
>Movie ends, waiting for post credit scene
>Cinema is full of normies who dont know about the MCU post-credits scenes and everyone gets up and leaves
>At some point me and the family next to me are the only ones who are still waiting
>Awkward tension to the max
>The post-credit scene takes for fucking ever
>mfw i wait 5-10 minutes in a theater that already has the lights on next to a woman that i just smelled her fanny from and a kid they think i just sodomized in the dark just to see a post-credit scene of Jeff Goldblum coming out of a toilet after taking a big shit on

Attached: 11-gavin.w700.h700.jpg (700x700, 112K)

>go watch Get Out (because literally nothing else was on at the time and i had a free ticket)
>have to go to bathroom in the middle of the movie
>some retard fatso left his popcorn on the floor and i accidentally knock them over
>loudly and smugly demands me to buy him more popcorn
>after leaving the bathroom, i kindly ask the local Robert to give me free popcorn because i knocked some assholes popcorn over
>Robert is kind, so no charge
>give the popcorn to the asshole
>he barely even acknowledges it
I should have spat in it or something

OK

Attached: dacning fatty brenda.gif (266x199, 839K)

Beta

Hi Brenda

Attached: dancing fatty.gif (320x240, 1.03M)

Physical altercations with women are a no win scenario for a man.

1) you got beat up by a girl

2) you beat up a girl

Neither condition grants status.

was her name noman? I thought she was a WOMAN

Attached: 1453146365086.jpg (250x226, 24K)

Shit man, i'm sorry

>be me
>go alone to see The Dark Night rising
>everyone in theater is black
>plane scene
>I yell out "he's a big guy for you, yah fucking khakis wearing Homo!"
>theatre goes wild
>my man be telling it!
>high fives all around
>two black chicks behind me
>one says "he cute"
>everybody shares their snacks with me

Attached: frogss.jpg (327x154, 10K)

dude finish the fucking story you niglet

What the fuck, never heard of someone so fucking dumb they'd leave during the intermission.

WTF is this?

Come on now I just finished the first season of Clone High, I don't need any more cliffhangers in my life.

STR vs Dex

Where's it from? It looks weird as fuck

Attached: fight at the kinoplex.webm (408x720, 2.93M)

Fuck that got me good

>Go to see DKR while the rest of the family goes to see some chick flick
>start thinking about the murders during the trailers
>sit in the back, right by the door
>start thinking about my own mortality
>can't stop/focus on the screen
>large individual bursts through the door and I pee myself a bit
>spill my nachos
>go to the bathroom and miss the opening scene

only other bad experience was years ago watching the Hulk movie and also peeing myself in fear during the fight with his dad

Attached: b.jpg (268x268, 19K)

I have respect for that women

Is that dude in the back punching his own face??
Oh my fucking god my sides have vanished

His own fucking fault and now his ankle is destroyed.

>fat sperg punching himself in the head
>whale pushing scrawny inceloids
>he just falling off balance on his own
It's so dense every single shot has so many going on

did he snap his ankle or is that his shoe?

>You don't even realize the one guy breaks his fucking leg mid-fight.

ankle, with audio he says "I broke my ankle" or something

>when VENUMMMMMMM is sold out

Absolutely elite

I know this dude getting bodyslammed lmao

>Be seeing rouge one with Dad and his bros
>6 of us
>Black guys sitting infront of us
>End part with darth vader comes on
>Hear one scream “OH SHIT THEY GONE DIE!”
>my dad would scream “RUN DON’T SHOOT YOU STUPID BITCH!”
>black guys turn we look at them they look at us
We went to a bar and grill place after cool guys liked dragon ball a lot

found it streamable.com/ej6g7

Jesus American cinemas sound terrible. In European cinemas people are afraid to breathe too loudly.

Do you have any information on the aftermath? I need to know

>a film called Mommy Dearest
can you imagine?

Attached: eva-green-high-quality-photo.jpg (1280x1920, 373K)

In America they are also afraid to breathe too loudly. But mostly due to the smell.

>In European cinemas people are afraid to breathe too loudly.
oh yeah dude that sounds like an amazingly fun time

>Ya'll can fuckin have this shit

Based, how do i get a gf like this

Nothing came of it, and we don't bring it up to him because it's fucking embarrassing and he could get in shit at his job.
He's a nice dude, but a smartass and I could see him making some comment that got his shit slammed.
I wanna ask him about it one day

Normalfags who need to fuck off desu

do most Americans really have worthless stomachs from a shitty diet, or do I just have a confirmation bias from all these "shit myself in public" stories on here?

Go to any fast food joint and pick one out my man.

Strange aromas and a mist of milk

Makes sense, I'm embarrassed for him desu. Hope the poor guy can move past it someday.

At least you can hear the film. Niggers wouldn't be tolerated at all

>Check if its pasta and i'm being trolled
>It's not
Finish the story asshole.

I'm just telling you, you discord faggots. Nobody will ever treat you like women. Cucks on Twitter might, but irl no. They will be nice to you, yes, but never will they feel deep inside that you're women and you're normal. I was drinking with my ultranormie friends (girls and guys alike) in a clubbing zone when a tranny approached us. I thought that my liberal friends are gonna ignore it. And I was surprised when after hearing him say hi, one of the guys who had a bit to drink immediately said "aren't you a dude? why are you wearing girly clothes?". The tranny started talking to the girls in our group and they just said "leave us alone". We insulted him until one of us started shouting "fuck off faggot". And the tranny was """hot""" by Yea Forums standards. The voice is what gave it away.
You think you're winning because people are forced to keep their thoughts about you disgusting abominations to themselves. The moment shit hits the fan, economic collapse or something, "race war", whatever, there will be loads of people more than happy to hunt you down. And I don't mean /pol/ idiots, just normal people, some of them would probably rape you right before, I don't care.
If you don't kill yourself before you're 30, you should be very cautious where you live, because the moment we're not forced to tolerate your bullshit you're gonna fucking hang you filthy degenerate
You will never
N E V E R
be a woman or even passable

I went to the cinema the other day and I had a retard in the theater that couldn't stop making yelping noises every few minutes. Ended up leaving 15 minutes into the movie because it was ruining it for me and cameron's kino like Alita deserves better than that. Got a refund but it ruined my day and made me want all retards to be banned from theaters.

Glad you got your money back at least.

Should've buried a turd in it

>Cont.
What the fuck did you just call me, mate???

>Go to see A Quiet Place.
>Group of about 500 teenagers come in.
>Start talking IMMEDIATELY.
>Won't shut the fuck up for the entire movie.
>Can see phone screens.
>They're all on fucking Facebook messaging each other throughout the movie.
>Start calling each other.
>At one point one of them shouts "FORTNITE!" out loud.
I hope they all die.

Attached: 543235235.jpg (251x251, 5K)

1. Go to google maps
2. Find whatever city you're planning to move to
3. Search for "Martin Luther King", whether its a street, lane or boulevard, etc
4. Live as far away from that road as possible

Bingo, you avoided the negroes.

based zoomers btfo'ing grouchy boomers

FORK KNIFE BRO *high fives user's penis*

>Teens
>Facebook

Want to know how this is a fake story you boomer? Facebook hasn't been used by young people for about ~7 years now. Everyone uses instagram and snapchat instead. If you use facebook and you are under 25 years old you will be made fun of and are a pathetic loser.

THIS

Attached: Bald boomer BTFO by fortnite scrapper.webm (640x360, 2.87M)

Sounds like that cinema sure wasn't a QUIET PLACE
*dabs*

No she didn't.

I don't know what it was faggot it was just some gay social media thing. I'm not a woman like yourself so I can't tell them apart.

imagine the smell

yuo have some good imagination, you should do something productive with it instead of shitposting here

Attached: 1543606336864.jpg (580x548, 34K)

No refunds, buddy.

fuck you Veronica!

>not bagging up the vomit and freezing it at home for a later day

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest
> Went on a Thursday during the day hoping to avoid teenagers and children.
> Theater empty
> Two parents and two kids enter and sit directly behind friend and I
> Everything fine. Movie starts. Kid starts getting bored.
> Kid starts talking. Parents hush her.
> The three year old proceeds to run around and yell the theater for the first 15min until friend and I stand up and proceed to leave. I gave the parents the middle finger. Went to concession stand and told them what was going on. Told by manager to just go sit in next showing.

Some horror movie:
> Theater packed, sit in next to last row.
> Mother with her 7 year old daughter (wtf)
> Kid kicking my seat. I turn around and ask her to please stop.
> Mother scolds the kid.
> Kid waving around a neon glow band. How do I know this? In the reflection of my glasses, I see the glow band waving around.
> Mother goes to bathroom. Seat kicking continues.
> I turn around and yell "STOP FUCKING KICKING MY SEAT"
> Kid looks in terror. Friends start laughing and call me a horrible person.

One of the Star Wars prequels:
> Fat woman sits in front me.
> Has a large soda container with no soda.
> Opens the lid and chews ice the entire duration of the movie. I can hear it.

part one

Attached: 1468989704412.jpg (559x568, 34K)

>>be black
>>go to special screening for youths
>>girl played Suri is at screening

You're talking about Black Panther? The character is named Shuri.

part two (these are not in order)

Nightmare Before Christmas:
> Mom takes me.
> Have to move seats because teenagers constantly talking during movie.

The Sixth Sense:
> Black people sit in front friends and I
> Constantly talk and comment about whats going on.
> Can't understand ending and have to explain it to each other.

Spider-man 2:
> Friend's cell phone was in his cargo pocket.
> Didn't turn it off b/c fuck that I guess
> The txt message notification kept lighting through his pocket
> I nudge and tell him. He proceeds to txt throughout the remaining hour of the movie.

Oh and the very first time I went to a movie theater with friends- with no parents
Starship Troopers:
> Preteen classmates and I in line to get tickets.
> Theater jammed with people
> I'm last in line. Ask for the showing and person says "Sorry, sold out."
> I freeze. Look to friends, they all didn't wait for me and went inside.
> She asks, "Would you like the 10:15 showing?"
> Look at her with what must have been the saddest expression ever. Moment of silence as I panic.
> Person behind me saying out loud "Hurry the up, we're going to miss it"
> She goes "Here..." and prints out a ticket anyway. Says, "If anyone still needs a seat, just give it to them"
> I take the ticket and say thank you.
> Get to seats, movie starts, there's two fat adults complaining to the manager that they can't find an open seat.
> I sit there in a complete panic wondering if they're looking for me. Can't enjoy the movie and feel awful.

AND THEY WONDER WHY PEOPLE DON"T LIKE GOING TO THE MOVIES.

Attached: 38d2072fed9733af4ee93e04d7008fb609375c96ccaf942876b04aa60d57755c.jpg (508x508, 89K)