You'll pay for that one, Malfoy. Eat slugs!

magic is just asking demons to do something for you, as long as they understand your commands its all good

Seriously though they should just teach one class in Hogwarts: Latin. Then you've basically got the Thu'um from Skyrim.

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so slug=dick?

The sad thing is, in reality, Hermoine would never have gone with Ron after this. She'd have lusted after Malfoy, and considered Ron a beta. Every time he tried anything with her she'd remind him of this one incident, even if it was years later and he'd been more heroic since.

To be fair, it was before puberty, book Ron grew up to be a tallfag, and once nearly KO'd Malfoy by punching him.

based and redpilled

_____deh_____

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Real talk: why the fuck was Harry left with one of those pajeet twins at the winter ball? The dude is a living legend and is kicking ass in the TriWizard Tournament as the youngest competitor ever. To think he wouldn't be swimming in pussy is ridiculous, no matter how much of a beta autist he came across as.

Assuming Mudblood is the equivalent of nigger. Is Hermione allowed to say it? You think all the muggleborns call each other mudbloods on private?

He wanted to go with Cho, and when it turned out she was going with Cedric he didn’t really put much more thought into it.

Scared potter?

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>*skips this scene as I'm watching eating*
nothing personnel willemby

Imagine witnessing Tom Riddles descent into the dark lord. Like you knew Tom as this Uber chad and after swing him again he’s starting to bald and looks a lot more pale. Then the next time you see him he’s missing his nose and demanding everyone call him Voldemort. I like to imagine post-Hogwarts Tom as Dennis Reynalds.

>wants to go with Cho because Yellow Fever
>Cho is too busy getting her guts Diggery'd
>'arry is too much of a whiny fag for his gook waifu to realize he could literally have the pick of the litter just for some random thot to say she was chosen by the chosen one

Harry should have ended up with Luna. Please tell me why this would not have been the optimal pairing.

Because luna is dogshit

Yes, because Ginny is so much better.

Imagine being Dumbledore in during that job interview and having to be all like "damn, Tom Riddle, you fuckin' fine, all employable with your 7 inch fingers and horrific snake-like monster face. I would totally hire with you

It's like the story of the guy who peaked in high school but tries so hard to look cool at his class reunion party that he goes overboard to the point where people feel afraid that he's lost his mind.

My catholic school unironically believed this and banned the books when I was a kid

So the better option is neither. He should have gone with moaning myrtle.

>implying Nick isn't giving her nearly head every night until she turns into screaming myrtle

baka desu

You're all wrong. The correct, true, and best answer would be to get with Narcissa. Pure bloodline, cuck Lucius, and make Draco have to call you dad. You could tell that she was so done with Lucius by the end of Deathly Hallows, Harry could have just smiled at her to clear the cobwebs away from her milf pussy.

>Every flavour
So if it's every flavour surely Lily Potter's pussy is a flavour?

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They were saving kids by forbidding them to read these awful fucking books

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAHRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRGHHHHH AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH AAAAAAH AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHRGHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRGHH AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRGHHH

>A-ARGH AAAAAAARGH AAAAH
"ARGH!"
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRGHHHHHH AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH

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Do you know what are the odds of drawing a bean that tastes like her pusy?

Tonks is the best option for several reasons: She's a living pornhub. Want thicc or thin? Blonde, Brunette or redhead? Cowtits or DFC? Tall or short? Wanna go interaccial tonight? Hell, do you want her to have a dick? Want her to be underage? No-one needs to know what your private sex life with her is like, everything's on the table.

Plus, she's older and experienced with cock from all those Hufflepuff orgies, but she can totally, as previously mentioned look like your first middle school crush with her itty bitty titties while you're still 24 years old.

If that's what you were after for some insane reason, that's so specific I doubt anyone here would want that.

The same odds as drawing a bean that tastes like your post.

OH NO NO NO NO
youtube.com/watch?v=FfCsVPJsw-E

I'd keep that one locked away until I was on my deathbed. Then I would slowly suck on it until I faded away into infinite blackness.

I haven't read these books in about 30 years but I'm pretty sure it's every flavour as in every available flavour of jelly bean as opposed to just the good ones you actually wanna eat

So she can change her appearance but she decided to be dogshit ugly in the movies.
Fight me Anons, I know you all like the actress.

pussy flavour for sure, lilly's might be too specific.

Yeah but she can look like your friend's sister. You know the one.

>purple hair in her true form
Hard pass.

Haha imagine how fucked up it would be if Hermoine got the slug spell and one of the slugs fell in her knickers and wriggled about on her fanny haha like what if she came from it too haha.

Nah nigga I read the series every couple of years and it's never specified what "every flavour" actually means, aside from Ron saying "watch it, it means EVERY flavour, I once got one that tasted like bogies".
And at the end of the first book where Dumbledore pulls an earwax flavour bean and also mentions a vomit flavour one.
So Lily's pussy is NOT out of the question.

Yeah I'm gonna make her my gf and then ask her to look like the old pics of my hot classmates back when we were 14 that I still fap to
That's gonna go well

lol it would be a funny prank too if Ron cast eat slugs but it was in her pusy

>implying I'd ever allow her to be in her true form.

There are a LOT of missed opportunities I need to work out user. Maybe after a couple of years if she wasn't psychologicaly destroyed by the things I would make her do then I could throw her a few bones in her actual body.

I mean, like I said, if I was getting bored it'd be all she had left wouldn't it?

Haha wouldn't it be funny if user posted those pictures but on imgur so he couldn't get banned haha

Found the non abuser who doesn't coerce women into anal when they don't really want it.

D i s g u s t i n g

>and your OTHER wand

>so he couldn't get banned
I'm flattered but you're not thinking pathetic enough. These are clothed pictures pulled off their social media back then
I like rape stories but only if the woman ends up enjoying it

>nobody has posted the pasta yet

Woah man like, that mental image of young Hermoine infinitely giving birth to slugs and cumming every time is sooo fucked up haha. Haha.

>I'm flattered but you're not thinking pathetic enough.
I'm thinking of other people who are pathetic enough to ban you for clothed images user. Post them.

Yes but that user would be masturbating more vicariously about the idea of you stroking your still developing penis to them than to the pictures themselves.

Sex isn't about the woman's enjoyment in my book.

We live in a world where Harry Potter self inserters exist.

Bertie Botts Every Flavour = Rule 34

lol wouldn't it be such a funny thing to see Hermoine have a slimy slug slither out of her tight pink little pusy and slowly crawl across her clit, making her blush and breath really short and fast and struggle to find something to grip on to so she only can find her perky bobs? I think I might pee my pants from laughing if I saw that.

Sure. It's really tame boring pictures, user
I grew up with the rule that you should never post anything on 4chainz that could link back to you so I'm not gonna elaborate anymore than this
i.imgur.com/YkTD0Zi.jpg
>Sex isn't about the woman's enjoyment in my book.
But then they might as well be fucking a lifeless object. Or do you get off on violence?

"Which flavor did you get Harry?"
>Mmmmmm...I got your mother's breast milk, Ron.
"How about you?"
>Yuck, I got Hagrid's crusty asshole

*arsehole

Can I eat a cyanide tablet instead, because I'd rather die than sit through the franchise in the history of movie franchises. Each episode following fat middle aged script writer and his pals from New York as they fight assorted beliefs of unavoidable death and misery has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the movies’ only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make nihilism boring, to make emotion seem inert.

Perhaps the die was cast when Kaufmann vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the movie; he made sure the movie would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody?just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for Being John Malvovich. Kaufman's movies might be jewish (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-Michael Gondry series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

>a-at least the effects were good though r-right
"No!"
The effects are horrible; the screenplay was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "burnt his house down"!

I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Kaufman's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that he has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Blue is the Warmest Color by the same Michael Gondry. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are watching Synedoche at age 15 and 16, then when they get older they will go on to watch Michael Gondry." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you watch "Synedoche New York" you are, in fact, trained to watch Michael Gondry.

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My penis is dulled by years of obscene ammounts porn usage, I don't want women to orgasm, but in the time it takes me to get there, they almost always manage to, often multiple times. Each new orgasm they have makes me angrier, which makes me fuck them harder, which makes them have more. Eventually it does start to make them hurt, and then they ask me to stop, and that's usually what does get me off.

That's when I don't get my way and manage to cum first, which happens occasionally, but not as often as I'd like.

I have done a literal sub minute manning once, and I just laughed in the woman's face for minutes on end. Her frustration was hillarious, and of course, I felt good, having got what I needed out of her.

Maybe if I ever fucked one that wasn't fat reaching ejaculation wouldn't be a fucking chore, but how am I supposed to manage that being a Yea Forums user?

Believe me or not I don't fucking care.

Yum, I got Hagrid's crusty arsehole

Why didn’t they use that spell on Voldemort?

Based as fuck.

tfw no Hermione gf.

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>tfw you're upset it's not Filch's diarrhea

So Dennis Reynolds

>I like rape stories but only if the woman ends up enjoying it
Is there a readily-searchable term for this? Asking for a friend

Aggressive persuasion, aka the "hard sell"

The odds of drawing the taste of seafood are quite good though

From what I understand Voldemort looked like a normal guy before he died the first time. It was just the being reborn process that made him look so strange.

Not that I know if, I usually just go for rape/nonconsent stories and check ahead whether it's just straight rape with the woman hating it throughout
joinforjoy.com/erotic_stories/stories/index-32.htm
This has quite a few and the entire Kristen archives site there has shitloads of stories archived from asstr

Yeah, I guess that's not too far off.

That still doesn’t excuse him from showing up to the class reunion carrying around a giant snake, wearing a name tag that says “I Am Lord Voldemort” and asking everyone’s opinions on mudbloods.

"Oh hey Tom. You look...different. What's new?"

"Slugs... Do we need 'em?"

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Ronald Weasley trembled with excitement as his fat, greasy fingers slid over the hard, cool wand in his pocket. He was finally going to get to play his prank. He and Hermione shared a spare period, and they had the common room to themselves. She was so absorbed in her studies, poring over different piles of parchment that the two had planned to study for professor Snapes next exam, that she didn't even look up at Ron who was approaching her, wand aimed at the back of her neck.

She opened her mouth to blurt out some inanity about wolfsbane, but Ron wasn't having any of it.

'Sluggulus Expellus!"

The young girl fell to the carpet, screaming in agony instantly, and Ron excitedly whipped out his semi erect cock and started viciously mashing it, willing it to get properly erect.

"Aaaaaah Ron what's happening my insides are on fire" Hermione screamed, tearing off her clothes and starting babbling with horror as a fat, oozing slug head started worming it's way out her passage. Her little pussy was thatched with a mountain of bushy, scraggly mousy hair but the putrid, wobbling head of the slug pushed through that razor wire thicket and flopped out, oozing a mix of her cunt juices and slime onto the hardwood floor of the common room.

Ron was leaning over her, drooling on her at this point, trying to make eye contact with her, to see the pain in her eyes, but she had them screwed shut. Another slug was beginning the process out of her vaginal passage, and her babbling was was turning to gurgling as one started crawling up her throats, tickling her vocal cords and making the oddest noises available come out of her.

He was still frantically mashing and squeezing his adolescent penis, a full three fingers on it now desperately working the too tight foreskin, and beads of putrid precum mixed with his old smegma dripped out, but the more excited he got, the droopier it became, never nearing it's proud fully erect size of 4.2 inches. The poor bruised organ just couldn't rise to the occasion after all the abuse he put it through.

Hermione flipped over suddenly, literally vomiting slug after slug at this point, onto her knees, forehead to the floor, and started thrashing like a madwoman, as he asshole began to be invaded from the inside out. The biggest slug so far was doing it's damn best to breach her sphincter, and she was in agony from it. Ron's left hand heavily palmed his adolescent gynocomaestia as he neared his climax, they were nearing his favourite part.

With a might heave and bucking of her girl hips, she pooed out the slug, which lasted minutes on end of dull throbbing pain as the long, muscular thing tried to crawl back in her. It was thoroughly browned from her insides, and Ron found the entire ordeal quite erotic.

But that wasn't the highpoint. It was coming now. She flung her head to the ceiling and screamed her loudest and longest Her nipples distended, opening wider than should be possible, becoming erect against her will, and a slug started coming coming out of each one. Ron lost it, and rode the wave of his secret pleasure to a dribbling orgasm, staining the floor and a section of her thigh with his watery ejaculate. He wiped the remainder clear in her hair and stood and watched, mouth drawn into a cold smirk until her shaking subsided, then he helped her back into her robes, and cast the second spell.

"Obliviate".

Goddamn did he love Wednesdays.

I think it says in the books that it's the whole soul splitting process he performed seven times that made him look like that

>She opened her mouth to blurt out some inanity about wolfsbane
This is the most accurate Hermione there has ever been

No, it's just that his facial features started to fade and look less distinct. He didn't look like a snakeman until the ressurection

I'd rather eat slugs than watch the dullest franchise in the history of movie franchises

I agree. I mean is there anyone out there that isn't a retarded basic bitch that actually likes the Bridget Jones series?

>wanting an insufferable know it all gryffindor gf when you could have a qt slytherin gf who likes to tease you and flirt with you constantly

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>She kept screaming this muggle term. Raep... reep. Something like that

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maybe i like this type of girls. Minus bitching she is cute

Head like a fucking bludger

>And she was a good friend.
SIDES!

EAT CUM

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>If only Bertie Bott's Every Bean Flavour had one half a tasty as her clunge

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The memories Dumbledore shows Harry show his appearance degrading over time, and between his last memory of Voldemort and his resurrection he creates at least two more horcruxes, there's no reason to suspect the ritual damaged him further

>the franchise in the history of movie franchises
awful awful post

Absurdly based

>“No!”

Good shit user

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>easy wandless magic
Have you not seen any of the later movies?

>Ron shuffled his feet uncomfortably as he stared at them, hands tangled in a worried knot
>"What the fuck you doin' Weasley?! You better not be looking away from them!",yelled Malfoy as he stroked his rock hard member as it protruded proudly from his wizarding robes.
>Ron glanced up sheepishly to see Harry vigorously pounding Hermione from behind on the Gryffindor commons table.
>Harry looked over his shoulder at his friend with a slight grin on his face.
>"C'mon Ron", Harry grunted in between his rapid thrusts, "no need to be coy. Take it all in."
>As he plowed deeper and deeper into Hermione's beet red pussy he looked over at Dumbledore, himself deeply entranced in the act taking place before him.
>"I much prefer this Chamber of Secrets to the other, professor!" Harry exclaimed.
>"FOCUS BOY!" Hissed Professor Snape, rubbing the tip of his precum glazed penis with his thumb.
>"You're just like your father. He could never take a proper inter-house fuck train seriously either."
>The look on Dumbledore's face lightened somewhat as Harry's thrusts became quicker.
>"You getting your vinegars, young mister Potter?" Dumbledore asked in his usual, calm tone
>Harry didn't have time to respond before he began to ejaculate wildly deep inside of Hermione's slick cunt.
>Falling over her back, he licked the sweat from her skin and gazed up at the clock.
>"Twenty-one minutes... looks like a new house record." Harry muttered out in gasping breaths.
>Snape's dick began to go limp.
>Dumbledore, slapping Harry on the back, exclaimed, "50 points for Gryffindor."
>Ronald looked back down at his feet, tears welling in his eyes.
>Malfoy looked over at Dumbledore and yelled, "He cheated! There must have been a spell or some such!"
>Tucking his willy back into his robe he stormed passed Snape and over to the common room door.
>"My father will hear of this!", Malfoy whispered as he stormed out of the room.

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Very nice. Needs a novel length adaptation

The only people who use wandless magic are extremely powerful like dumbeldore or voldemort or grindewald

Why haven't you read fanfiction yet Yea Forums?

pastebin.com/wwtmhSKY

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>having this abominable shit taste
Fucking kys

>fanfiction guy comes out of retirement to shill prince of slytherin
>it's actually worth the hype

she looks like young Anthony Keidis

Holy based.

Reminder this poster is ban evading

Jokes on you, Weasley. I spent a year in France and have learned to enjoy the slimy goodness of slugs and snails.

are you fucking with me? that one is horribly written