>Remus Lupin
>Remus - Romulus & Remus, two brothers from Roman mythology who were raised by a wolf
>Lupin - Lupis, Latin for wolf
So just to be clear this man's parents essentially named him Wolf Wolferson and then at the age of 5 he was coincidentally bitten by a werewolf and became one?
Welcome to Hairy Poter!
>Luna Lovegood
>Is silly, aka a lunatic
>Shags like a minx
I think you might be on to something
One of my favorite cases of crusty old liberal white women trying to be woke and hip with the kids is Rowling coding werewolfism to be AIDS but then also having the werewolf specifically into praying on young boys thus reinforcing the stereotype that all gay men are pedos.
It exactly incomin for authors to make create with very straightforward names.
>parents name him Gold Goldfinger
>grows up to be obsessed with gold
>Baldemort
>is bald and likes making people mort
Why are you looking for logic from the dullest franchise in the history of movie franchises written for people whose imaginative lives are confined to TV cartoons, and the exaggerated (more exciting, not threatening) mirror-worlds of soaps, reality TV and celebrity gossip?
Each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the series’ only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert.
Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody, just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.
>a-at least the books were good though
"No!"
The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."
I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.
>Harry Potter
>is very hairy
>pots plants
Rowlings a hack
How many years has this pasta been going now
>literally includes the words "I" "am" and "lord" into his new name for the sake of a cute anagram
or maybe he changed his name when he became a werewolf. ill admit that doesn't make much sense either if he's trying to not be found out but we're never told either way.
Why do they even keep an essentially "evil" House?
GOOOOLDFINGAAAAAA
>Ron shuffled his feet uncomfortably as he stared at them, hands tangled in a worried knot
>"What the fuck you doin' Weasley?! You better not be looking away from them!",yelled Malfoy as he stroked his rock hard member as it protruded proudly from his wizarding robes.
>Ron glanced up sheepishly to see Harry vigorously pounding Hermione from behind on the Gryffindor commons table.
>Harry looked over his shoulder at his friend with a slight grin on his face.
>"C'mon Ron", Harry grunted in between his rapid thrusts, "no need to be coy. Take it all in."
>As he plowed deeper and deeper into Hermione's beet red pussy he looked over at Dumbledore, himself deeply entranced in the act taking place before him.
>"I much prefer this Chamber of Secrets to the other, professor!" Harry exclaimed.
>"FOCUS BOY!" Hissed Professor Snape, rubbing the tip of his precum glazed penis with his thumb.
>"You're just like your father. He could never take a proper inter-house fuck train seriously either."
>The look on Dumbledore's face lightened somewhat as Harry's thrusts became quicker.
>"You getting your vinegars, young mister Potter?" Dumbledore asked in his usual, calm tone
>Harry didn't have time to respond before he began to ejaculate wildly deep inside of Hermione's slick cunt.
>Falling over her back, he licked the sweat from her skin and gazed up at the clock.
>"Twenty-one minutes... looks like a new house record." Harry muttered out in gasping breaths.
>Snape's dick began to go limp.
>Dumbledore, slapping Harry on the back, exclaimed, "50 points for Gryffindor."
>Ronald looked back down at his feet, tears welling in his eyes.
>Malfoy looked over at Dumbledore and yelled, "He cheated! There must have been a spell or some such!"
>Tucking his willy back into his robe he stormed passed Snape and over to the common room door.
>"My father will hear of this!", Malfoy whispered as he stormed out of the room.
Your high school didn't have a Taliban Club?
Isn’t that his old name?
OP I'm imagining you as a retard who amuses himself blowing bubbles with his spit. How many years was your brain churning and burning away at cracking this mystery? You're gonna fuckin lose it when you figure out snape is one letter away from snake.
Consider that the only people that call Slytherin an evil house are particularly biased against it. Slytherin is just a house for those with ambition and seeking greatness. With the small caveat they had to be from two magical parents. Plenty of them never turned evil. And one could argue without Malfoys turn against Voldemort (mother and son) Voldemort would have succeeded.
HE'S THE MAN
THE MAN WITH MIIIIIIIDAS TOUCH
J.K. Rowling isn't a good writer. That doesn't mean her stories aren't fun for kids.
But their founder was the wizarding equivalent of a KKK racist and everyone evil in the series has come from that house.
The funny thing is Goldfinger was the name of Fleming's neighbor who pissed him off so he named a villain after him. I'm guessing the name came first and he based the loving gold on the name.
Agreed. Can't believe I liked that trash as a kid. I strongly suspect she plagiarised most of her early concepts
Why did Snape bother dedicating his life to protecting Harry if he was just going to bully him the whole time. Don’t think Lily would be too grateful for his creepy devotion to a childhood crush. #Incel
And retarded adults, Harry Potter being the only children's book to have been re-released with an adult cover so that these same retards could read them in public and not be embarrassed
Something is still having a negative effect on the world as we know it today
Not true. Plenty of evil people exist in the world. Its just that those that are evil and had the ambition for greatness are the ones that were most dangerous and renowned. Percy sure was a bit of an evil cunt at the end there. But he was a Gryffindor.
You're right but the problem is after the third book she didn't understand that she was writing children's books.
That analogy falls apart because denial of white supremacy is based on the presumption that there's nothing inherently superior about whites, whereas wizards were demonstrably superior to muggles. It wasn't until arguably the invention of the atom bomb that muggles became more dangerous to wizards than wizards were to muggles.
Imagine if white people had literal magic powers and everybody else was muggles. It'd be a lot harder to discredit white supremacy, you'd have to argue for multiculturalism purely on its own merits because there'd be no way to "debunk" the fact that whites can reshape reality with their thoughts and the rest of the world burns dead animals for fuel.
Because James was a Chad and made Snape butthurt forever by banging his oneitis
You're 100% right. So many of the issues with these books can be traced back to the fact that Rowling really isn't a very good fantasy author and her world building is poor. She writes solid mysteries and the hook of inverting mundane English culture with a magic world is brilliant but when she gets beyond that it falls apart.
that's what's always bothered me about harry potter fags. in this universe, pure blooded wizards (and even half-blood wizards) are literally superior to non magic folk
>hate non purebloods so much you hide a giant snake in the sewers in the off chance some kid who speaks to snakes tells the sink in the girls bathroom to open
It's honestly amazing Voldemort found and released that thing
Yes, but Hermione, everyone’s favorite self-insert, is a halfie so they’re immediately sympathetic to mudbloods because not being so makes Hermione feel bad.
>seamus finnigan
>only noticeable trait is blowing things up
rowling was a racist bitch
But slytherins believe that wizards born to wizards are racially superior to wizards born to muggle parents, but the books show that they are just as magically capable
Even their leader Voldemort was a halfie
Not long enough.
Also Voldemort is half blood and he's pretty much the most powerful wizard ever. Harry only beats him because of weird unexplainable wand bullshit.
I think she did fine with the wizarding world, the problems only really arise when you try to excavate deeper meaning out of it than she put in by constructing flawed analogies to things like race relations. It stands fine as a fun little story about magic.
Rowling is of course guilty of doing the same thing as her readers, going back to her own writing and claiming it analogizes this or that. It's a bit shameless, but not uncommon.
>Only East Asian in the entire school is named Cho Chang
I bet that was a Chinese restaurant she ordered from while she was pretending to draft goblet
Do you think if Yea Forums existed in wizarding world, Voldemort would spam it with stuff like "*Ahem* Fuck muggles and fuck mudbloods."
yeah that is definitely true but even her bullshit ass character is literally superior to muggles.
No Voldemort would be actually out doing shit. Lucius Malfoy on the other hand, would totally be doing that.
>I think she did fine with the wizarding world, the problems only really arise when you try to excavate deeper meaning out
It's because she plagiarised the core concepts, and when she tried to build on it, realised she couldn't write for shit
The mudblood thing actually does work as a stand in for racism because there's no difference between half bloods and pure bloods that's not socially constructed. Evil wizards no being allowed to say they're genetically superior of Muggles doesn't work because they literally are genetically superior to muggles.
>go kill yourself, discord squib
Pretty much. Rowling built Voldemort up as the end all be all, more evil than Hitler, we're fucked if he comes back, it's all over. Then he's resurrected and it's literally the Anti-Christ walks among and they say fuck it and go home for summer break while Voldemoort and his friends essentially do just go home and shitpost for a while.
>but then also having the werewolf specifically into praying on young boys
He chewed on Bill, wanted Hermione and nearly / actually killed Lavender. He was an equal opportunity predator.
Muggles should never have been allowed to make it past the industrial revolution.
>have pure bloodline descended thousands of years
>thousands of years of being the ultimate human doing and creating whatever you want
>unintentionally helping non-magic society improve themselves based on your family's doing / history
>pure chance some half-breed goblina comes in and and says the shitty lesser beats are just as strong and superior
>you
I don’t understand how they kept a normal curriculum for so long
Voldemort was sort of a giant pussy when it came to Dumbledore. He was scared like a bitch so hid for two years until Dumbledore died, then he took over.
How are spells made?
been 12 years since i read the last book, but if i remember correctly, you literally just make it up and repeat and think it a lot. like literally will it into existence
A wizard thinks of something they want to do. Attaches a wand movement and a word to that thought. The new spell is automatically uploaded to the magic server and a user patch is sent out to everyone's wands.
Snape just decided that "sectumsempra" would be a bloody maiming curse and by reading the word in a book Harry was able to use it without knowing what it did.
More importantly, how did Snape know how to make literally every single potion better than the experts who wrote the textbook? There's years of magical knowledge in there and this fucking teenager was just like "lol add a counterclockwise stir every 5th time" And then the little faggot didn't even share the knowledge. He could have gone down in history as the greatest potions master ever but nooooooooo he just wants to sit around mourning his oneitis while doing a job he fucking hates.
Actually, how the fuck DID he find the Chamber? The book certainly didn't say, did Rowling ever mention it on twitter or such?
Black could be anywhere. It's like trying to catch smoke... Trying to catch smoke with your bare hands
>reveal spell
>revelio
>repair spell
>reparo
>the experts who wrote the textbook
A textbook made for teenagers, dude. It's probably written by some literal who. Not many hotshot brewers are just going to reveal all their epic tricks for no reason.
I don't think this is an issue compared to most of the stuff being brought up. He was obsessed with bloodlines and family history. It makes sense that when he found out he was a mudblood he would cling really hard to also being a descendant of Slytherin on the other side and get deep in the lore and discover evil secrets. They explicitly talk about how eager he was to learn as a kid.
>ginny in love with harry since she first saw him
>he barely notices her at first
>only views her as ron's sister after that
>wants some slant eyed gook instead
>she becomes the school slut since she can't get love from harry
>fred and george create love potions at the beginning of the sixth book
>out of fucking nowhere harry is obsessed with ginny
And why couldn't Dumbledore find it?
>OK some girl was killed in this bathroom by Slytherins monster.
>Hey this tap 5 feet away from her corpse has a snake engraving and doesn't work even though the plumbing is magic.
>That couldn't possibly be the secret entrance to the chamber.
A SPIDERS TOUCH
in the books she's a 10/10
Either that or puberty caught up with her and she developed a smokin hot bod
>Harry only beats him because of weird unexplainable wand bullshit.
He was getting his shit pushed in the books anyway, Harry just stole the glory from everyone else.
>and doesn't work
No, no, that's too obvious, too stupid. You got that detail wrong, right?
I get that she can become super hot, many girls do. But the fact that she was good at everything was just insufferable. Literally the Rey of HP
I always felt like they didn't make Voldemort evil enough, she tried so hard to make him a hitler or anti christ character but felt a little underwhelming, I feel like it was a missed opportunity to make him a real menacing villain
Sorry
>It looked like an ordinary sink. They examined every inch of it, inside and out, and then Harry saw it: scratched on the side of one of the copper taps was a tiny snake.
>"That taps never worked" said Myrtle brightly as he tried to turn it.
Remember all the Hogwatrs plumbing just poofed into existence when wizards stopped shitting themselves a century ago.
Well i wont argue with the ‘trash’ part, but books one and two were really good. Just a simple adventure story about good vs evil.
Because Snape had principles, not perfection of character. Guy had an obligation he wasn't thrilled with.
He was bitten because his dad insulted Greyback, so as a revenge he sneaked in their home and infected his son (Lupin)
That just makes it more confusing. The dad is super anti-werewolf, but gives his son a name related to wolves.
>tfw named "Wolf Wolf" if you translate my first and middle names
>not a werewolf or skinwalker
I think I got cheated, anons
>Sirius Black
>Sirius is the dog star
>he turns into a black dog
brava, rowling
>later on we find out that most of the Black family are named after stars
So it was all just a coincidence that Sirius’s form matched his name? Sure, JKR.
>Tom
>not short for Thomas
>just to make a retarded anagram
>I strongly suspect she plagiarised most of her early concepts
no shit
my favorite potter character as well
t. Adolf Lopez
She's Rowling's self-insert.
>this capeshit board thinking harry potter isn't based
>constantly seethes about fantasy
Lol