>Character takes a shit
>wipes 1 time with 1 square of 1-ply toilet paper
>I shit
>wipe with at least half a roll of toilet paper
>finish with shit rag I keep in bucket newr toilet
>1 hour later and still have poopy anus
I cant be the only sick of this Hollywood garbage
duude just use a bidet
>asshole is still dirty but there is blood on the toilet paper from wiping so hard
Are you me?
>character flushes toilet after a morning shit
>doesn’t stare at it while silently praying that the toilet doesn’t clog
I hate unrelateable protagonists
learn to shit retards
Spotted the onions drinker. Let me guess, you shave your ass? That the way your black boyfriend like it?
>character pees
>immediately runs out of bathroom with shaking, zipping, or tucking his shirt back in
how the fuck
You need more fiber in your diet. Eat a salad with your meals.More fiber = clean wipe on first attempt
>take shit
>wipe ass front to back and back to front several times until absolutely no brown remains
>go through half a pack of baby wipes just to do this
i really cannot imagine how filthy the ass of the average person is who only wipes a few times with paper. you can't reach every crevice with paper. just a disgusting thought.
does everyone in hollywood have really big anuses, or are bathroom scenes in media an accurate representation of what the average person does?
has there ever been a movie with an extended showering/shaving/combing/toothbrushing/general hygiene scene that wasn't just there as fanservice or filler? i think there's more toilet scenes than anything else from the top of my head.
> your ass is so hairy that you have to wipe your ass hairs.
fuck off
>character doesn't have to shit and wipe in utter pain from sudden hemorrhoids
just buy a bidet, retards.
Thanks... Theres more food with fiber that i can add to my meal?
>see spycam compilation of girl's bathroom
>girls never wipe at all
Why are womyn so dirty?
Watching those how can you tell if they're shitting or pissing if they aren't wiping?
asparagus is a good source. there's also fiber tablets / gummies you can get as well.
>character goes to bed
>Anus doesn't immediately become itchy and keeps him awake during the night
They have very well positioned cams so you can clearly tell if they are peeing or pooping.
>character doesnt get up a half hour later and downs two shots after a vain attempt at cutting back drinking
Well look at fancy bidet here
>tfw absurdly hairy asshole
You gonna cry? Perhaps shit and cum?
>hairy asshole
>hairy chest
>hairy back
>hairy arms
one thing I am certainly not, is a hairlet. i'm cursed with this shit, literal wearwolf
Wow you are so new it hurts. I’m physically cringing and about to have to restart my computer with no updates.
Lol this cuck is mad.
>character goes to "take a shit"
>character secretly masturbates into his hand, so payload hits then drops vertically down
>character then plays the multiple tissue/wash hand game whilst waiting for erection to subside
>no shit was taken
Drink a lot more water or take fiber supplements, faggot. You'll thank yourself.
Dude, you also have to stop shitting.
Y’all ever taken a shut so smooth you didn’t even need to wipe. I mean you wipe the first time to check but there’s no stains. Best ones.
you're pinching your anus too much. you have to train yourself to let your asshole go lose and let those turds slide out, otherwise there's always going to be poop smears. bidet will not help you user.
you still have to wipe a few times so you dont get itchy
All you faggots need more fiber in your diet. Just take 3 teaspoons of metamucil a day. I only have to wipe a couple times to be clean.
> metamucil
nah, I don't like drinking sand.
What? As long as you drink it within a few minutes of mixing, there's no texture.
bonus points if balding as well
>americans dont know how to clean their anus
heh no surprise there. fucking savages
>Start doing Keto diet
>ghost every shit
I'm saving so much money on tp
>character doesn't have the shit scrape his ass and pop a hemorrhoid back out again
So unrealistic
I got ultra constipated from prescription pain killers for my wisdom teeth and took metamucil for a while. The amount it recommended per cup made me feel like I was drinking sand.
Did you get actual metamucil or psyllium husk? Some of the off-brand shit is awful. I dunno how much you had to take, but 3 tsp isn't a lot. If you let it sit, it will thicken.
crease
Oh, and the flavor I get is pink lemonade. Actually tastes pretty good.
actual metamucil, the orange tasting one. no matter how much I stirred it wouldn't dissolve.
Weird, maybe metamucil stepped up their technology since then.
>stepped up
>up
>character doesn't stand up to wipe
>character never farts on his hand and smell his fingers