>Sir, the suspect has a folder full of pictures of Ryan Gosling
Sir, the suspect has a folder full of pictures of Ryan Gosling
Carson Jenkins
Tyler Ortiz
>look at this folder
>what's "Sneed posting?"
Grayson Torres
>A fan of the Goose, eh? Can't fault his taste in leading men.
>Well, that's the thing sir...he hasn't actually seen any of his films. He just posts photos of him attached to messages crying about his virginity.
Christopher Wood
>and your other sneed folder
Owen Brooks
>sir, I think he's onto us. He has a 400MB folder named 'CIA'
>that's it, we're puling the plug
Jonathan Nelson
>Sir, He is going on to an anonymous television discussion image board and threatening to say "it"
>Damn, must be some sort of secret code, someone shut down that damned Yea Forums
David Hernandez
>Checked his history log. Spent four hours online last Saturday night.
>”What of it, Simmons? I spend most of weekend just browsing Facebook.”
>...He doesn’t even have a Facebook account.
Landon Myers
>This folder is labeled "waifu", and it's full of pictures of ______________
Jeremiah Foster
Jaxson Ramirez
Margaret Qualley
Jackson Carter
>Sir, you may want to see this.
>it would appear he has a thread simply labeled "apu", in which he keeps thousands upon thousands of images of a little green cartoon character
>Damn, Thomson get to work looking for an occult connection, there must be some sort of spiritual reason for such a collection.
Jaxon Martinez
>cunnyfu? What in the HELL is a cunnyfu?
>Let's check the folder
...
>Oh dear God, NO
Connor White
>Sir, he's got a whole folder of people sniffing stuff. It's labeled "BRAAP".
>I've never heard of that terrorist cell. Get a full report on my desk by the end of the day.
Adrian Powell
>Anderson, send me a copy of all these files. I need to scrub these separately for clues
Tyler Cox
>But Sir, I am the suspect...
Cameron Gutierrez
Hunter Sanders
>b-but that's my job sir
Zachary Roberts
>"We've been monitoring his post history, sir"
>"yes, what of it?"
>"sir, he's only replied with the word "based" for the past 3 months"
>"it's code don't you see? I want a whole unit put on him immediately"
Nathaniel Campbell
His name is....Samuel Yea Forums...
Joshua Lopez
Matthew Parker
>Sir, he browses an image board for television and movies
>Yeah so?
>Well... He has not actually watched a movie or television in months
>*sigh* This case is going to kill me
Thomas Richardson
Based
Grayson Wood
Based.
Aiden Watson
GOD
Isaac Roberts
based
Jason Clark
sneed
Samuel Peterson
>sir, he's b-been refreshing the catalog on the television and film board for a few hours now
>Damn it Johnson, he's clearly looking for a codeword in one of the threads, keep watching. What other reason would he have to be on Yea Forums on a saturday night?
Christopher Thomas
>Just how deep does this rabbit hole go...
Thomas Ross
Jeremiah Lee
>Suspect just got done fapping to daisy taylor
Sebastian Bell
>Have you interviewed his parents yet
>Sir, his parents told they haven't talked in 5 years
>What? I thought he lived with them
>He does, sir...
Connor Anderson
>Uh, scratch that sir, he's moving on to Longmint now...
Angel Hernandez
ITT: lots of keks
Brody Powell
>caling me "the goose"
Hehe this cop must be a crook secretly!
Owen Watson
what if your father was the cop all this time?
Ryder Rogers
Why do you think you need to say this?
Luis Long
>The Goose will never attack you (playfully)
GOD FUCKING DAMNIT
Cooper Peterson
>it's a dead meme, sir
>Autopsy shows that it was forced for years before its death
Adam Powell
because I laughed more than I have all night, SATAN
I usually ignore these threads as they are too gimmicky
Jaxson Rodriguez
Based
Nathaniel Morgan
>Sir, it seems the suspect shares his twisted fantasies about actress "Emma Roberts" verbally and physically humiliating them with others online
>Jesus, what kind of sick fuck are we dealing with here?
>That's not even the worst of it chief, look at these posts about her feet
>[Officer suddenly vomits],[Woman gasps and cries on another's shoulders]
John Scott
>what did his file bring up?
>lives with his mom, 35, no friends, no social media, absent father, works retail, doesn't drive, only leaves to go to work and watch movies by himself which he refers to as "kinos"
>he watches movies alone? isn't that illegal?
>he goes to one theater where he seems to have struck up a friendship with a man named...
>...named?
>sir, it's one of our deep cover agents.
>jesus. dalvin?
>no sir. dalvin was retired. it's...
>...my god. call someone. call the deputy director. this is way above my pay grade.
Robert Cox
>Sir, the suspect uses the word "kino" all the time, must be a code for some shady stuff
Julian Thompson
underrated
Juan Torres
>Sir, the suspect keeps talking about plans detailing how he would kill famous midgets like Warwick Davis on some terrorist website
Luke Perry
>Sir, we've figured it out. "Kino" is just an amalgamation of the words "kid" and "porno"
Jaxson Jackson
What's your goose folder called? Mine is simply called "AAAAAAAAAA"
Easton Russell
Brayden Davis
>he’s posting Simpsons sneed pictures on Facebook again sir
Jason Smith
frogtrope threads are some of the best content on 4channel
Ayden Mitchell
>why does his Taxes 2015 folder have lots of pictures of young girls doing gymnastics?
Carter Torres
>Inspector, the victim's Yea Forums post history shows his last activity was a reply saying 'a-bloo-bloo'
Jason Campbell
CUTE
U
T
E
Noah Edwards
>Sir, the suspect is always posting about some flight plan involving the CIA, with names like Smee, Maimen, Dr. Pavelheer, Button Lee and Juan Ovieu
>Dammit, he must be planning some attack, how deep it goes?
Angel Lee
>ywn be her boyfriend
Isaac Ross
>Sir...he's pretending to be us!
Gavin Wood
>sneed reply instantly.
disgust.
Nathan Campbell
>Feet, sir. Hundreds and hundreds of pictures of feet.
Wyatt Anderson
>sir, is our suspect german?
>no, why john?
>he's got a folder labeled unteralterbach
John Sanders
>what's in the damn bottles, user?
Dylan Green
based
Henry Lewis
BASED
Landon Price
>Protagonist meets mob boss.
>He's in an Italian restaurant.
Adam Clark
well I didn't know that, thank you very much
Josiah Walker
>You gifme one gud reason I shouldn't have my boi here thump ya skull for ya.
>Boss, you wan me to get rid of this jokah?
>Nah, he's got balls, I like dat.
Nathaniel Perez
Chuck
Christopher Barnes
Ryan Gosling
Daniel Peterson
>Sir... I think he knows... he seems to be taunting us on this "four channel" website
Nathan Myers
Based
Daniel Hughes
but.. robert.. i thought we were friends..
Thomas Gutierrez
>what is this? where are all his posts?
>jannies delete them. every time. all he does is post that frog in the tux and the word "AHEM".
Caleb Perry
>That must be an "A-rank Mayhem".Investigate.
Jonathan Ross
>the goose is loose
Landon Reed
S-sir I was just looking over his recent postings, and he has your picture!
Connor Reyes
kek
Sebastian Johnson
>sir, there's a whole folder. 700 megabytes. its just... well... it's named "footkino". it's mostly taylor swift, but also some sofia boutella. Frankly, it's really some twisted shit, sir.
Asher Jones
>Sir, we're about to breech and clear.
>We found 10TB of "cunny"
Zachary Cook
>Sir, we just found out he has one of the latest smartphones
>"Great, start tracking all his social media"
>...
>"What do you mean he has no Facebook account?"
>Sorry Sir, no Whatsapp, no Instagram, no Twitter... Not even a Reddit profile"
>"Christ, this guy must be a professional, do we at least have his messaging records?"
>...Sir, he only has a message history from his mother about groceries, multiple delivery confirmations from Domino's Pizza and several unread offers from his network service
>"Dear God..."
Matthew Flores
>Not even a Reddit profile
Who is this supposed to represent? Certainly not a Yea Forumsedditor.
Bentley Davis
>Sir, the suspect doesn't seem to go to the bathroom ever
Parker James
>Sir, all the suspect does on this '4Channel' is occasionally make an '/X-Files thread/' inn which he only posts pictures of the character 'Dana Scully' together with variations of the phrase "you will never"
>This rabbit hole goes deeper than I expected... We need to call in the G-men for this one
Ethan Russell
based
Josiah Campbell
kek this would totally be in some dumb news journal
Aiden Perry
We already have the suspect in custody sir.
Christian Butler
>ywn have a cute tiny pet lizard