Cottonelle Commercial Twist Ending

Wow, you /pol/tards will cry over anything, won't you?

good thing im a charmin man myself

Too much is when they use KTLA report Chris Burroughs to sell ass paper.

not sure about this one. The husband could be Hispanic or even Italian.

That was pretty decent actually. I was expecting worse

>Americans walk around with shit in their assholes because they only use toilet paper
truly disgusting

that was incredibly benign and harmless

>comments disabled

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>just uploaded
Make your shilling less obvious Kimberly Clark intern.

They have a straight version of the same ad. Why the outrage and pearl clutching?

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>the cleansing power of water

all commercials are made for retards. Just pretend they don't exist. It'll do wonders for your mind.

anything that inspires people to adequately clean their shit-caked turdcutters is fine by me.

What the fuck does bringing someone home to meet you parents have to do with toilet paper?

rly makes u think

This is harmless and you wouldn't be complaining about it if it was a hetero couple.

youtu.be/1AwNEVpW7NE

What does this have to do with politics?

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Is this the same company that made those terrible cartoon bears having orgasms from wiping their assessment, and inspecting child bear buttholes for bits of toilet paper?
Why do these companies do this? Just put on some cute cats or a talking teddy bear or something.

this. you wouldn't use a dry sheet of toilet paper and nothing else to wipe shit off your face

Lick and smell the part of me that makes brown.

youtu.be/56Bc9UoxklQ

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Gay shit aside, the use of a peach was wrong.
A peach closely resembles a vagina, and used to allude to one typically.
They're basically saying a gay man's anus is a vagina.

That's condescending and problematic.

try improving your diet you disgusting fags. your ass shouldn't be filthy after shitting

They use the peach for all the ads though

Uh... yeah bro, it's normal to have doo doo around your doo doo hole after you make a doo doo. Get with the program.

>a peach reasembles a vagina

how fucking ancient are you gramps, o social media peaches have always meant asses

yeah it's normal to have a bad diet

If doo doo slides through your anus, and it doesn't leave any doo doo residue, YOU'RE A FREAK.

i'm sorry that you really believe that. i just wipe once to make sure there's nothing there, and there is virtually nothing. if i eat a bunch of garbage then there will be

LOL you poop and wipe your butt? Faggot. Nobody poops anymore.

ok

ok? Fucking lmao, is that all the little baby has to say for HERself? ok? Baby gonna cwy? Wittle baby boom boom gonna cwy and make a stinky boom boom? Filthy fucking pig. Keep your waste in your body you degenerate. Fucking disgusting beast.

Hey I'm from another thread, someone told me there's an actual doo doo maker in here. I had to see it for myself. Don't tell me, let me guess: it's a retarded baby, right?

are you trying to troll yourself?

i'm really behind on homework and i'm 36 years old. i think i do this to keep from killing myself.

what kinda homework? i'll help you

that's nice. it's just some programming projects. i know how to do it, i just can't make myself work.

what kinda degree are you getting?

cs & math. maybe it will help me get a real job one of these days.

two bachelors is not really worth the time. good luck dude. im a compE researcher

is that good? like good to do?

i'm not sure what you mean. i love my job though. research is kino

oh yeah that's what i mean. good on ya nonny.

nonny? Fucking lmao, is that all the little baby has to say for HERself? nonny? Baby gonna cwy? Wittle baby boom boom gonna cwy and make a stinky boom boom? Filthy fucking pig. Keep your waste in your body you degenerate. Fucking disgusting beast.

that's really not okay.

say that to my face fucker not online see what happens

THEY EAT THE POO POO

Just eat my crap, homo. Eat it right out of my stinky fucking hole.

ok, where do you live?

I live in the United States of America, asshole.

zip code?

58008

>you wouldn't be complaining about it if it was a hetero (same-race) couple.
That's the point retard

Retard? Fuck You.

>58008
liar

why do you think i'm lying?

You know what's more important than your gay panic dumbshit is this "flushable wipes" bullshit. Most of them aren't actually flushable and can destroy your plumbing.

how about you wipe your cum off your son's butt before you start lecturing everyone else about what to wipe.

has /pol/ ever been wrong?

How about I wipe my cummy shitty dicky wicky on your fat nigger lips?

Umm... I retract my initial statement. Have a good day, sir.

Fuck me? Fuck you!

there's like 60 people living in that zip code. you probably just googled most remote zip codes or something

WHAT?!?! NO!!!!!!

WHERE THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING? I NEED SOME DOWN THERE CARE

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it's not random, there's a reason behind it. hint: it doesn't have anything to do with the location. if you can guess why i used that fake zip code, i'll give you my actual zip code. and so you know i'm not lying, i'll give you the first 3 numbers: 166.

Yeah, all the time and frequently because it's full of brain dead boomer faggots. The most correct board is /sci/ you soft little shit.

no stop ittt!!! go away weirdo! sorry i said that about your son's butt but whenever i eat it out it's always filled with your cum and it's kind of rude to use the sonbutt without wiping your cum away for the next guy ok????

looks like i'm gonna need two rolls of cottonelle for this one boys

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stop it i can't post images since the new windows updahahahahahaaate ;_;

FAG. GUESS. GUESS WHY I SAID 58008. WHAT IS SPECIAL ABOUT THOSE NUMBERS, FAG?

FAGGOT ALERT. FAGGOT ALERT. GUESS WHY I SAID THE FUCKING NUMBERS, FAGGOT? GUESS WHY I SAID THE NUMBERS YOU GAY BITCH?

gay faggot. you're a gay fucking faggot. you're a fucking gay fucking faggot. suck my penis you gay fucking faggot. faggot. fucking gay faggot. fucking faggot suck my fucking penis you gay fucking faggot. why did i pick those numbers you fucking gay faggot. gay fucking faggot. fag. gay faggot. you're a gay fucking faggot bitch you fucking faggot gay bitch fuck faggot penis ass fuck shit cunt fuck FART ANUS FUCKING DOG DICK SHIT ASS IN THE FUCKING CUNTFUCK DOGSHIT ASSFUCK PENISDICK FUCKFART FUCKSHIT ASSFUCK DOGDICK FAGGOT ASS DOO DOO BITCH?????????

BOOBS upside down

sneed

you boys interested in some gay porn?

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02

the other day some guy told me that dog penis isn't delicious. lol what a fucking retard. why even talk about dog penis, let alone be completely wrong about it?

ok now the address?

not all at once big boy. if you're getting it at all, it's going to be piece by piece.

e logan st is all i'll give you for now. what can you offer if i give you the number?

you want me to eat your asshole or not?

115
how long?

bruh, it's literally just a commercial trying to sell you a product to wipe your ass...

Why don't you wipe my fucking ass? Don't forget to tug on my dangler while you're down there, slave.

yes daddy, please fart in my face, i love it!

it will take my a couple hours to get there. i can meet you at Joe & Mary's Tavern at midnight

All right son, but then it's homework time. Don't make me rape your teacher for a good grade like last semester.

This thread making me horny tbqh

really you're that close?? lol no shit. all right boys, guess i'm getting my anus tongued tonight. i gotta poop in a minute, want me to:
1) wipe & shower?
2) wipe only, no shower?
3) wipe only, no shower and don't try that hard?
4) shower only, no wipe?
5) no wipe or shower?
6) no wipe or shower and wear a garbage bag as underwear so all the stink festers?
whatever you want bro, i'm just so psyched i'm about to get my ASS EATED OUT TONITE!!!!!!!

>It says if she continues to clean her dirty asshole with cottonelle, she will become the boss very soon.

>Woman is surrounded by clocks, but every clock is a different time

Don't you understand? Once she becomes the boss, her domain will span the globe. The clocks set to different time zones represent the vastness of her rule. She is trying to become President of the United States. This is a secret Kamala Harris ad.

what's the sexiest post

What in God's name is happening in here?

This one:

God isn't in here. But you are. Welcome home.

Thank you! But why are you farthing in each other's faces? Surely that isn't enjoyable?!

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Oh boy. You're a fresh-faced little rube, aren't you? Adorable. Here, lean over sweetie. Get a faceful of THIS!

>6) no wipe or shower and wear a garbage bag as underwear so all the stink festers?
this is obviously the best option. but first i need to make sure you're up to my standard. send me a face pic

i can't, i said earlier to someone else in this thread (probably also you) that i can't post pictures since the windows update. i'm white, 5'11 160

Wait what are doing putting it so close to my face?! No no no, please stop! I don't want a face full of your stinky farts!

Not into farts but the smell of man ass is very erotic to me, it's a musky intoxicating aroma

so email it to me or something

oh ok, brb sending it to [email protected], like wtf??????

[email protected]

aight, i see your genuine-looking email address and i'll raise you a face pic, brb.

Are you accepting resumes to this address as well at this time?

>tfw some homo on Yea Forums is getting laid because of this thread and I'm still alone

i'm not gonna post my real email address on Yea Forums dude. if you send it there, i will get it.

i guess

we only agreed to ass eating but we'll see

Are you going to trade off rimming or is it only going to be a one-way encounter?

i'm cool with it either way but he seems to be backing out

lol no i'm signing up for a new email, hold up

>opening scene, thread starts, discussion of toilet paper commercial begins
>closing scene, pans into bedroom, two anonymous men eat each other's asses before parting ways

absolute madman

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He looks like he eats ass.

Looks hot, I'd fuck him

lol you fucking dick, i knew you would do it though so i made it untraceable. you'll never find me.

at least there's 1 gentleman in this thread.

>implying i want to find some fag

fuck you, that was really mean.

You frequently drive hours to each strangers assholes?

lol you're him

I'm not offended that there are gays in it.
I feel like the fact that they're specifically advertising with gays is homophobic.

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no, i leave near the place, he'd be driving hours. i'd still be up for it if someone wants to meet me there lol

this is Yea Forums dude, wtf did you expect. it's hard to feel bad given how many fags used to reply to my m4w craigslist ads and waste my time

sure bro i'll meet you

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This thread is comfy.

Unironically not that guy, I'm hideously ugly so I would never post my picture on Yea Forums

i didn't do that, you don't have to take it out on all gays. anyway i'm bi.
we can still meet up to hang out or whatever, i won't start any butt stuff if you don't want. guess i can take off this garbage bag diaper though lol

i'm not even in PA i was just fucking with you.
>guess i can take off this garbage bag diaper though lol
jfc dude

Would you eat an asshole that had a hemorrhoid.

i mean i started this whole thing thinking i was getting MY asshole eaten. so that's kind of a step down. we can meet though if you're close... unless you're like a troll...
lol what can i say bro you made it sound pretty good. anyway you wouldn't understand you're not even gay.

Oh i'm not a faggot, I was just curious what men who eat assholes think about hemorrhoids.

lol well might as well just kms at this point!
hey there's no way you're the same guy from all the way up there who thinks you don't have to wipe if you eat a good diet, right?

i absolutely am. just took a shit and wiped once, there was nothing on the toilet paper. i actually thought of taking a pic just to prove it. seriously though if you eat a healthy and consistent diet your shit will come out clean and at the same time every day. it's like a pellet like some animals do

You're correct. The other anons calling bullshit eat bullshit and don't understand.

you motherfucking FREAK. There is supposed to be fucking DOO DOO on your fucking DOO DOO hole after you make a DOO DOO and if there isn't any DOO DOO on your fucking DOO DOO hole after you make a fucking DOO DOO then you're a fucking DOO DOO LESS FREAK! Fucking stupid baby go boom boom fucking farting and shitting like a stupid asshole and NO!!!!! NO FAGGOT!!!!! DOUBLEFREAK HEY DOUBLEFREAK POOPING AND WIPING FAGGOT WHY DON'T YOU AND YOUR GAY BOYFRIEND GO FUCK EACH OTHER IN YOUR PRISTINE LITTLE BOTTOMS BECAUSE YOU'RE SO GOOD AND GOING BOOM BOOM AND ONLY WIPING ONCE YOUR FUCKING MAJESTY. FUCK YOU

>wiping
lol retards.

Jussie Smollett is gay and he doesn't wipe. This commercial is unrealistic.

breasts

straight men need this more because according to Yea Forums's second favorite site they don't actually wipe or have any actual hygiene

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straight men wipe ok
gay men wipe pretty poorly
women do not even attempt to wipe

>gay men wipe pretty poorly
Speak for yourself faggot

stop coping retard. it's widely known that straight males have poor hygiene.

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lol triggered fags. fags don't wipe because you eat the poo poo. women don't wipe because they're lazy. only straight men wipe and that's why you degenerates want to fuck them so bad.

women could date a nice timid ocd guy like me who would follow their rules. they don't like it, they want the brutes. you made your bed sweetheart, time to sleep in it.

it's specially because of that that they actually have clean asses.

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Sniff my unwiped butt.

Unwiped butt. Unwiped butt.
Sniff my fucking
Unwiped butt.

>needing to bleach your asshole so the in-laws will like you
uh

itt faggots

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Homosexuality presents in 5% of the population. If you were to go by media portrayals you would think it was closer to 25-30% of the population.
Further, you don't need to make a toilet paper add make any declarative political gestures towards straight OR gay sexuality. It's toilet paper.

[email protected]

>Cottonelle
>Owned by Kimberly-Clark
>As of 2017, Kimberly-Clark shares are mainly held by institutional investors (Vanguard group, BlackRock, State Street Corporation and others

>BlackRock was founded in 1988 by Larry Fink, Robert S. Kapito, Susan Wagner, Barbara Novick, Ben Golub, Hugh Frater, Ralph Schlosstein,

it's pretty obvious that he's a repressed homo

no this is too similar to all other hetero men doing the same shit (lol)

really? wow, what are the odds, you found your own dad's reddit post in a shitty Yea Forums thread.