Okay user, pitch me your company

I introduce to you "NEET-sheet", it's a blanket capable of absorbing gallons of fluids, to be worn at all times. Absorbs piss, semens, poops, anything. No more need for piss-bottles and poopsocks. Delivered right to your door. I'll be needing a bout a million to buy lots of tampons and duck tape

Its a trap escort company.

but the traps look like any kind of celebrities in any kind of likeness.

You could have a trap looking like you for instance using the same exact clothes or maybe an outfit from another celeb crush like Jaime lee curtis lingerie in true lies. And the dick of Arnold.

Hi Sharks! My name is Ashley. Me and my best friend Bethany make cookies in my mom’s garage when we’re on break from college.
We are seeking $400,000 for a 10% stake in our company, which may seem high but my grandma tried our cookies and said they were really good! We hope to surpass Mrs. Fields in market share by 2022. Here’s a chart I made in Quickbooks.
I’m a great business partner because I’m currently pursuing a degree in sociology with a minor in communications, so I really know people!
Sharks, I hope you’ll lay out the DOUGH for us so we can get our cookie business INTO THE OVEN!

And how would you go about making these... 'trap' things user?

I'm in

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Give me details about the data collection for your products r&d

Droids. Of course so you can also change their feet and other limbs. We would just sell the base model st a 30% loose and then would make proffit from...limb addons.

Great! Uh, but we were kinda hoping to hear an offer from Mark...

I will beat Mark Cuban for you with socks of pocket change for a million dollars.

You have my attention, would you be interested in a three-way deal?

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EVERY FUCKING EPISODE EVER

Bong here, been watching this on Jewflix recently, it's infinitely more retarded and thus much much better than the British version (Dragon's Den).

I'm going to cross breed tomato and tobacco plants to produce an addictive tomacco fruit

We'll call it Borneo

me givin you pusy lickings of course

The actual shape of the feet is achived through a simple yet effective cask. Through DNA samples and through chemical analysis of the materials found on the actresses' skin we can produce a substance identical to the sweat and other fluids found upon the real feet. This substance is then infused upon the replicas.

We are also developing another product along similar lines, codenamed "Project BRAP"

It's the Uber of Amazon

Hello Sharks. I have made this line of pantyhose and high heels that combine in perfact way and are the most comfortable in the world, ever. There are 20 different styles. Here are some samples for you to try immediately, Lori and Barbara.
>massive erection evident in pants while passing out samples

Is he drinking melted chocolate

Blessed thread

That sounds amazing! One question though, I’ve done a little research on your operation, and the only other business within fifty miles of your farm appears to be some kind of brothel, how are you planning on supplying your farm with the requisite seeds and feed?

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Well it's a pyramid scheme, but the competitive advantage we have is that we'll be building actual pyramids. Did you know pyramids were mausoleums? Invest in our company and you can get a prime burial location in our pyramids. It's a long-term investment but the return is guaranteed.

Hello Dragons, I want Bryce Dallas Howard to sit on my face. I'm seeking 10 million for a 5% stake

>having pussy and asshole on your face
no thanks

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>Here are some samples of my product.
>I made a special Maverick-themed one for you, Mark! ;)

her asscheeks will be between your face and them dummy

Kek

We're actually currently in talks to partnering with a local entrepreneur who's looking to buy out the business and rebuild it as a Feed and Seed with maybe something for the kids too. But that's not part of this company.

>I have no interest in your company, but let me spill some bullshit about something that has to do with nothing rather than just staying "I'm out"
>for that reason I'm out

I'm gonna go ahead and clear the field

Niggers

For that reason, I'm out

I'm black.

>like your outdoor focused company, I'm out

Ayozon

Thats his thumb through the glass user

Hold on a minute here... your potential partner is going to turn a brothel into a farm supply store? Won’t that be confusing for locals who have relied on their services for decades?

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Hello Sharks, my names Adolf and my company’s name is The Final Solution. We aim to eliminate ALL the competitors out there who have ruined our country’s financial system by gassing them alive.

Sharks, please join us on our journey. (((They))) made it wrong, we’ll make it Reich!

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We're looking to remove all niggers from the contiguous United States of America. In the future we hope to expand to the non-contiguous territories. I'm seeking $1488 for a 14.48% stake

your face will be right where her holes are

i was in arabia meeting a wealthy oil baron only months after the iraqis were driven out of kuwait. while touring his expansive oil fields we were come upon by a trio of wandering mercenaries who were separated from their unit during a sandstorm. they wore necklaces of ears and their hair and beards were matted with blood and sand. they had survived for months by robbing roaming bedouins and slaying any who put up a fight. i learned that day that it doesn't matter who you know, but what you know. and for that reason i am out.

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Kill white millenial bitches. All of them.

Hi Sharks! My name is Bryce Dallas Howard. I sell sessions where I sit on people's faces. 400 million for a 5% stake.

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My company..
My company?... O..ok... Do you marry me please?

let's do it

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It's like whoring but instead of fucking all you do is kiss

imagine

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>Now wait, how can 12.3 percent of the population be responsible for 50 percent of the crime?
>Those numbers are doo-doo! For that reason, I'm out.

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No! This was my idea! This can't be happening!!!!!

Interesting idea, but how has your performance in the big box retailers been? You’re obviously here for a reason.

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>I'm going to make you an offer, 10 dollars for 70% equity in your company, and I'll let you run around the court at halftime with the Mavs
>I gotta know now though, I don't want to deal with other sharks. Are you in or out?

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You force me to ejaculate into your opened hand at gunpoint and pay me $5

10%. And I want a 25% share of all braps you make, in perpetuity.

This is not the time to be siphoning off braps from the company.

imagine if lori made you her foot slave?

The growth is projected to be exponential over the next 10 years. They can handle it.

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we make ice cream from special milk

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awooga

too busty

t. homosexual

nnnheh...heh GOOD EVENING SHARKS. I AM CORNHOLIO. I NEED TEEPEE FOR MY BUNGHOLE.

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too gay

mommy

I make and sell wool dildos. I have currently sold 4 of them at 35 dollars a piece at a cost of 2 dollars each. My current market value is $170 with $245,000 dollars of current liabilities due to job expenses. I have another 4 of these wool dildos completed and I can make 1 per year. I am requesting $415 million dollars for a 5% stake in my company to increase production and pay for outstanding liabilities.

Assault Rifle Vending Machines
Trap Escorts
Crowd Funded Lynching
White Hood Bleach

Whatever is gonna get me kicked off network tv the fastest

Literally rebrwnded grindr

Congo

i laughed

does anyone have the Jeb one?

Our company is called Bab'Elle
We send a virgin a very beautiful foreign woman
Only he will need to perfectly speak her language if he wants to have any chance to speak with her
Within 2 weeks the virgin is perfectly fluent in, let's say, Russian
We need funding to attract women who's mother languages aren't south east Asian dialects

But what's proprietary? What's stopping me from picking up some Pajeet from India who wants teepee for his bunghole for pennies?

I agree
Who THE FUCK would want her fat ass on your face? Who would want her warm twitchy brown hole pressed against your nose while her puffy vagina is stuck on your mouth? With the size of that ass your whole head would be completely enveloped within her buttcheeks, it wouldn't be a pleasant experience at all

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We're looking for a graphic designer team to come up with a way to convey that message to the community. It's been difficult finding the right team as most graphic designers have a city-slicker bias that would offend the locals.

I provide an extensive and tailor-made diet and exercise program for women.

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>Watch that counted down your life

I'm in

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No, you know what? Fuck you, you don't get shit. I'm out.

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isnt that katie morgan

What kind of results are you typically seeing from your regimen?

The results have been earth shattering. There is a large promise for expansion. We're looking to see a hefty profit this end of the quarter.

the ramblings of a madman

episode?

For your excessive use of puns, I'm out, but I'm excited to see what you can accomplish in the future.

Some might say my aims are unorthodox. But so far no customer has left disappointed.

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>tfw Pierce Bond Burgered my sister

Sorry, there’s just too many moving parts here for my peace of mind. I wish you luck, but I’m out (formerly in)

Give me one thousand dollars.

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Literally the only good Sneedposts I've seen.

What sort of regimen?

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fagotron

>UP IN DA CLUB

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Interesting proposition. Do you work with people who suck each other’s cocks?

(checked)
>poopsocks
do any of you here do this?

YO SHARKS IM HERE TO EAT MY FUCKIN SHIT

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THAT YOU DUMB BASTARDS

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>Thanks, but id like to hear the other sharks offers first

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Malnutrition is no joke. We work to ensure that modern women adopt a healty relation to food and their own body image.

HE SAID HE'S........... OUT?!

>my product is patented and proprietary and i intend to license it. Im seeking a 25 cent royalty deal for 50k

I will blow him for 50$

>her

Lori is a girl(male)

>i like it, but more importantly, i like YOU. i'm willing to offer 32 dollars for a 51% stake in your company, and you have to give me an answer immediately before you even hear from any other shark or else i'm out.

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I'm going to take homeless girls off the street, make them look pretty, do some photoshoots and live like a king off findom culture via patreon&co.

No offense Daymond but can we see the $32 first? It’s not 1997 anymore and I can’t remember the last time I saw someone wearing FUBU.

when you were walking in you stepped on the board that makes a cracking noise
I did't like that, I'm out

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Pretty Patties.

shit that's actually not a bad idea

>wears Perlman mask, shits in hand, throws in her face, makes little donnie reference.

>it's a Robert deal

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Don’t you fucking take it

I'm already making a logo and setting up a facebook page, too late faggot

lmao

Good evening, Sharks! My name is Jussie Smollet. You may recognize me from the hit Fox show Empire, where I work as a full time actor. With your help, I'll be able to leverage my position into a more profitable venture to the benefit of me AND you.

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was pupper kill?

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Hi my name's Dave
You ever want to keep the smell of your dog's fart? No?
Well what's wrong with you? Gay or something?
All I need is a Tupperware box, flexible hose, funnel, and £400 for a 3% share.

Talk amongst yourselves.

I've only seen this show while flipping through channels, but God damn this thread is gold.

>its a Lori sniffs the armpit of a girl episode

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imagine, etc...

Reminder that Lori approved of guys jerking off to her in a Reddit AMA

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HI WELCOME TO GOPUFF

this whole thread is beyond based

I wouldn't waste my breath on Lori.
If I want to collaborate with a cryptokike it would be Kevin.

Kevin's a Leb. He tried to run for leader of Canada's conservative party, but all us actual racists voted for a white man.

Everyone gives Kevin a hard time but I genuinely believe he's the least snake out of all of them. I'd probably go with Kevin or Barb unless it's something that would do well on QVC then i'd pick Lori

OFFICIAL SHARKETTE RANKING

Thirsty Barb >>>>> Beth (madre) >>>> Regular Barb >>>>> Lori >>>>>>>>>>>>>> Spanxs Girl

>it's a Kevin tries to jew the person by offering "royalty" deals episode

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When you trace all the sharks to their first business that made them millionaires you will find most either used someone else's money (parents mostly) or screwed the people who did the heavy work taking the money and brand as their own.
I find it funny people think Daymond and his buddies some how turned a basement side hustle printing on blank Fruit of the Loom clothing into a multimillion dollar business. They didn't. Daymond's stepfather was a jew and taught him all the sneaky ways they make capitol and sneak his knockoffs into New York shops.
instagram.com/thesharkdaymond/p/BVf_H5hFq7w/

Sell n-word passes on on social media

Alright user I'm in, and for that reason I'm out.

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FAGGOT

jesus fuck is that really a real life actual Joozian??

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shit in a jar and sell to white people saying it's an african luxury
I need 100k so i can bring 3 Indian slaves and make my production grow 500%