Why do you like this guy so much, Yea Forums?

For the love of God, Spencer, SHUT UP

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I love Patton. His stand-up is always consistent.

Which ones admitted to lying? I'm guessing not the two doors lady because that would be a federal crime.

>Murder
Manslaughter at best desu

>marries some woman a month after his wife dies
What did he mean by this?

I read part of Jim Goads book The Redneck Manifesto years ago

I too want to successfully murder my wife and immediately remarry

Dubs confirm it.
Patton did actually murder his wife.

>when the crossboarder tries to rile up the ebin Yea Forums army
tv has been making fun of him for years you complete ass clown

>tv
Its Yea Forums. Get it right you fucking redditor.

>Patton Oswalt (left) insists it's all "a coincidence".

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>people think he killed his wife

His current much better wife says he didn’t kil his old one so he could upgrade. And we’re supposed to believe women because they’re incabible of lying.

If I've learned anything from Forensic Files, the person that usually did it is the husband/wife.
The timing also makes me suspect that Patton Oswalt is the Golden State Killer and silenced his wife in the middle of her book about him.

>we need Artie Lange but without a fucked up coke nose
>say no more

Too bad Columbo wasn't investigating him

>His current much better wife says he didn’t kil his old one so he could upgrade. And we’re supposed to believe women because they’re incabible of lying.
Shit, it all makes sense now

consistently awful. also he killed his wife

I'll never understand how a grown ass man can feel the urge to become a servant for women. It doesn't even get you laid or earn their respect. I get it if you're young and have no experience in life but Oswalt is none of that.

The wife he killed was fatter, but she had a nicer face.

probably never had a good father figure, no one to make proud

He murdered his wife and got away with it. Unironically based.

Nothing more embarassing than some 50something trying to wear a "young" hairstyle.

I like how the title almost looks like "Golden State Killer, Patton Oswalt, praises ---"

Underrated

well I disagree faggot.
sorry that you've joined the wrong tribe.

I am not giving money to people anymore. All my dosh is going to the futile attempt of saving this planet natural beauty before some fat ass beer guzzling redneck tear down all the trees.

he's funny af

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We don't he's a murderer. Worse than that though, he's not funny.

he's only saying that because his wife won't ever speak again

I saw him live in DC a few years back. He got pissed because we weren’t laughing hard enough at his material and he kept threatening to use another crowd for his live special. Then he told a joke about destroying the dreams of trick or treaters because he kept answering the door while high the year Ratatoille came out.

Glad he’s out there living the dream, I guess.

Jim is way funnier than Patton

based patton upsetting altright babbie tumtums

nobody here likes him

but it's hilarious that a 4'9 toady fat nerd thinks the world sees him as more welcomed, more desired and more loved than any female aged 13-60. The guy has privilege over almost zero people on earth. Somali kids wouldnt trade places with him

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He's probably trying to ease his conscience, a lot of these male feminist types are hypocrites who do depraved shit to women

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The open secret of stand up

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>Then he told a joke about destroying the dreams of trick or treaters because he kept answering the door while high the year Ratatoille came out.
hilarious

BELIEVE
GAY
JEWISH
NIGGERS

ruins absolutely everything
properties and people tainted by oswalt's involvement with or endorsement:
Dr. Katz
Weird Al
Mr. Show
Andy Kaufman
Paul Thomas Anderson
Batman Beyond
Zoolander
The Man Show
NewsRadio
Mad tv
Seinfeld
Home Movies
Crank Yankers
Fairly Oddparents
Grand Theft Auto
Blade
Tim & Eric
Mike Mignola
Dave Cooper
Aqua Teen
Reno 911
Squidbillies
Human Giant
Pixar
Spongebob
Kim Possible
Flight of the Conchords
Steven Soderbergh
Community
Battlestar Galactica
H. Jon Benjamin
Dead Rising
Harold & Kumar
Bored to Death
Bob's Burgers
Metalocalypse
Jason Reitman
Odd Thomas
Parks & Rec
Charlize Theron
Meredith Salenger
Comedy Bang Bang
Yo Gabba Gabba
Brooklyn Nine Nine
Gravity Falls
PFFR
Marc Maron
Red Letter Media
Lego Movie Franchise
Seth MacFarlane
Maria Bamford
Archer
Drunk History
MCU
Ghostbusters
Simpsons
Bojack Horseman
Justice League
Spy Kids
Big Hero 6
Teen Titans
Spiderman
MST3K
The Goldbergs
Mickey Mouse
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
Modern Family
Veep
Happy!
Secret Life of Pets
Veronica Mars
-
if you took the shit he's on off of tv, there wouldn't be any tv left
at least he's fucking 5 foot 3
fucking faggot

based redditor randomly using words like crossposter without even knowing what they mean

He always sprouts up during a show's end of life phase. King of Queens was the only thing he was good in.

I had to look it up because I know fuck all about it
Levamisole's (a dewormer for livestock) most common (?) illicit use is for cutting Coke.
So he is a low level Coke dealer too? Like sells to high-school students tier.
I guess the dream really is dead, even if you make it to Hollywood they still cut your coke with dangerous bullshit

There's a reason why actors in history were seen as being on the same level as literal prostitutes. Giving them more money doesn't elevate them above their true status.

best bit he ever did

youtube.com/watch?v=5BBhNkywMJY

If I was a coke dealer I'd make my shtick that I don't cut my supply before I sell to you, but I still sell the same amount of coke you'd normally get.
So instead of a gram I'd sell you a bag with about 1 bump in it. same amount of coke, no bullshit. People would line up

>yes goy! buy our shirt!

can you please alphabetize this list?

Why are you Incels always so mad?

zoolander last

lmao fuck this guy

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>survivors
Everyone survives rape and 97% of the time they orgasm during it. Why are we pretending rape is this big bad thing still?

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I can deal with Christine and Deborah. If you believe Julie you're just a retard.

where do i get this shirt?

I doubt he's still friends with Jim Goad. But yeah, he and Gavin McInnes used to be friends too.

what did he mean by this?

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>I'll never understand how a grown ass man can feel the urge to become a servant for women.

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Got a source on that?

ur mom when I raped her lol

That rape with objects is okay when they do it.

I'm not sure they've talked since the election, when they did that video together for Thought Catalog.

I read the book a month ago. It was really good.

DOOL WIELD

I always wanted a source on the "9 out of 10 rapes aren't reported" (((meme))). I mean if they aren't reported then how do you know 9 out of 10 go unreported? How can you have proof of something that doesn't exist? Then even if they did have some kind of source for it, surely that's the rape being reported. If there's a record of it it's been reported.
The whole thing is fucking ludicrous and only women, leftists, and college goys could seriously believe something like that and never question it. Absolute fucking retards.

>Why do people with a large audience feel the need to say things.

hmmmmmm, ask your president you dolt

No not her

came here to post this

He was in Justified and Love Justified

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I watched his Netflix special. He spent 20 minutes talking about My Little Pony, what a fucking boomer hack.

He just lives to give.

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because he had the courage to smother his wife in her sleep with a yoda pillow so he could marry his mistress. that's old school right there. they don't make men like him anymore.

This is absolutely true

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he was in zoolander?

Because he killed his wife and pretends to be a feminist to cover it up.

He appeared one time in one episode, he needs to get off his high-horse.

I think this might have gotten shiv of the week at heartiste

he slipped his wife fentanyl and saw to her death

this thread had no right to last this long

>he said while bumping the thread

What haircut is that?

It's like a sweet modern mohawk. My barber can't get it right

:^)

it's called a fauxhawk I believe

bump ^^

are you specifically trying to get that hairstyle? why?? what is wrong with you, get an electric razor and do it yourself if it's short hair

I see a ton white young individuals with the same hair do not sure what its called

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>Patton hanging out with the guy who writes a remarkably racist column in TakiMag, like this gem: takimag.com/article/cultural-stereotypes-all-good-people-need-to-avoid/
>and the guy who originally drew that Jewish caricature that /pol/ uses every day

How bizarre.

it looks sweet and not douchy

as long as you don't have the same eggheaded head shape, I guess you're fine if you're under 30. the soft ice cream-look doesn't suit Oswalt at all

Get this and let it grow out a little

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I liked him in the King of Queens but aside from that he's awful and I don't like his kind of SJW attitude

it looks like a shit is perched on his head

Pretty rude to say to be honest.

ok it's a stupid fucking bert and ernie looking haircut

this nigga's fuckin head is massive

It's uncanny.

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both shopped but he's still a massive faggot, literally controlled opposition

have to contain his massive brain now look at desTINYs little head

Could you tell by the pixels?

Reminder that he remarried super fast after his junkie wife croaked.

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