Character goes into bar

>character goes to a bar
>its a mile long
youtube.com/watch?v=IDaCrTHClEs

how was it?

but why?

honk is the first meme i don't get

Pretty nice actually, she didn't do anal so her ass was so tight I couldn't get my tongue inside but I still liked just licking there

Amazing performance, Pagliacci.

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Must feel nice touching another woman's skin.

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You too could rim a whore user

i dont want to get aids tho

True enough, I got tested and didn't have it but that's probably just luck, I'm not going to risk it again

these threads are fucking based though

>say this exact same thing
>bartender looks at me funny

Is there supposed to be a specific beer everyones likes?

I'll have a shitpost.

>character has a beer
>doesn't have 12 more, score some coke, and fuck an aging stripper while doing rails together.
Who writes this stuff

>character walks into bar
>everyone says NORM!!

dumb frogfaggot

I went to a strip club and the stripper offered me some coke and said she'd suck my dick but I was scared I'd become too far gone as I've never done drugs so i just left

sweaty asshole taste like a thin layer of metallic coating

Ask for the house beer, they'll give you something bland and inoffensive most likely.

>tfw go to a bar
>I see 6 different bottles of rum and 13 different taps of beer on display
>Never know what to ask for, flavours don't matter

>Ask for white wine
>can get it sweet, bitter, juicy, tangy, spicy, I can get it fuzed with different fruit and shit
I don't know why anyone still drinks anything but wine these days.

BUT DOCTOR...

Good call. I used to smoke weed at this junkies house in highschool but I stopped shortly before him and a his friends got into meth or something. I don't know why people just lay into drugs like that.

>bring me a beer...leave the bottle

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Alcohol content, and how different things hit at different levels.

milk

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Yeah that’s why shit like Narcan and Suboxone is a waste of money in a lot of cases. You went into this shit knowing it would kill you, sleep in the fucking bed you made for yourself

youtube.com/watch?v=XUhVCoTsBaM

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>character goes to a restaurant
>"I'll have a plate of food"

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i always do this, it's badass you know. it's a way of saying "i don't care, i don't have a favorite drink like the onions people", then the waiter lists what he has and you dismissively pick the least awful.
i banged so many chicks after doing this

>Character walks into a bar
>Ouch!

>Character goes into restaurant
>"What are the specials?"

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it's just le randum pepe #3637347 based on the very unfunny anecdote about pagliacci and a pagliacci self insert wojak.

Based

>character turns into pure magnesium
>combusts when heated to a temperature lower than 473°c

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>character turns into solid iron
>doesn’t immediately rust from the amount of water present in the human body

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you've never done drugs? have you ever drank a coca-cola or eaten a piece of chocolate? ever drank a beer?

Was shit fucking cash?

>I went to a strip club and the stripper offered me some coke and said she'd suck my dick but I was scared I'd become too far gone as I've never done drugs so i just left
This happens to me but I said ok cool and now I'm a stud who totally bangs hot bitches every god damned day yeah

I always ask that tho

What's wrong with you?

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>character goes into a bar
>has a mild panic attack trying to remember all the bar lingo when ordering a drink

>character walks into a bar
>bartender asks why the long nose
>even though he already knows it

What else is he supposed to say?

hahaha look at him go!

>Character goes into bar
>I'll have a ... bear?!

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That's actually my life.
Except the beer is normally already poured when I walk in.
Being a regular has its perks.

>character walks into bar
>whole bar doesn't erupt with warm welcomes
>doesn't say anything, bartender is already pouring his usual beer and shot

Seriously?? Who the fuck writes this shit

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I thought I was the only one who ever ate a hookers ass

>character goes to bar
>drinks 6 beers
>doesn't forget to drink water before bed
>wakes up without hangover

>character wakes up
>pukes 3 times before work
>spends all day shaky and sweating, praying no one notices too much
>spends all days waiting to get off of work so he can drink again
Pretty relatable desu

>Character is out of ammo and one single bullet
>Wastes precious time looking at the bullet before loading it into gun.

Just drink enough to keep the demons away at work lol

you have to specify which beer you want or at the very least what style of beer.
>Ask for the house beer,
don't do this. ask for a recommendation. i've never heard of a "house beer" and it sounds autistic as fuck.

>go to a bar
>could i get a whisky ginger
>what type of whisky?
>house is fine.

or for beer
>could i get a coors?

literally the only words ive ever mentioned at a bar. quit being a sperglord retard

>don't do this. ask for a recommendation. i've never heard of a "house beer" and it sounds autistic as fuck.
You're supposed to say, "I'll have a bottle of your finest beer, on the rocks."

only if you want to drown in pussy

if you dont drink beer, drink a Lager

What's the significance of the blowjob drink? if you ask the waitress for a blowjob and wink does it mean you want the succ from her?

>character walks into a bar
>intentionally starts a fight
>whole bar is destroyed
>doesn't even buy anything

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>character thinks they're dreaming
>pinches themselves
>*gulp* "nope, I'm not dreaming..."

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it's the opposite. you're meant to act like you're giving a blowjob while you do the shot.

lmao

>mfw this actually happens
>live in the city where all my friends are self obsessed career oriented dick bags who would sell me out if it ever became convenient for them
>go visit my parents back at my old village
>enter bar
>people yell out my name, come hug me and are genuinely happy to see me
>it's as if I never left

Guess who's moving back to to the boonies after finishing school?
At this point I don't even give a shit about a lower salary anymore. People in the city really are NPC's without a soul and I'm not dealing with that for the rest of my life.

Based Alita

>Character goes to a bar, friend's house, whatever
>Asks for something to eat/drink
>Leaves without touching It

You have no idea how much this pisses me off.

thats by far the most usual thing to say when you enter a bar

a lot of people say that and usually we just assume that its the standard beer we have on tap

t. wagecuck tender

>one water please

this. almost as bad as
>having a phone conversation
>they hang up
>neither person says "goodbye"

I buy a bit of opiates every few months, great high!

just say
>yeah 2 stellas
>cheers

Insanely based

A CLASS ACT!

>Character goes to a gf store
>One please"

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hail honkler

based honk poster

This. I'll be buying a few acres and setting up either a trailer or a small house outside the city. Close enough to still get necessities but I don't want to live in that environment. Rat cages.

just encountered this in doom patrol

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