Its that time again
Post your favorite American dad jokes
>Hey dick, do those pills make you hallucinate your wife?
>Dam!
>Do they let you go back in time and change the past?
>Dam!
>Do they make you fly?
>Really! but only once
>Alright ill save it for Halloween, I'm going as a turkey
>Yes they do
>Yes they do!
>YES they do!
>Well than im gonna have to change my costume
>Bad news about halloween Francine.
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YOU NEED ME ALIVE BECAUSE I'M THE ONLY ONE WHO KNOWS WHERE YOUR SHOES ARE
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Never fails to make me laugh.
>My therapist says I’m a bad kisser.
its classic
>His eyes are red cuz he smokes WEEED.
>"I can't believe you're an educator, Brian."
>This here's a party baby. And parties are fun so while you're here you will keep a drink in hand, you will make pleasant conversation, and you will listen to and love every bit of jazz of hear.
>But I like swamp rock.
>No, you don't.
>Guns don't kill people. People kill people. Guns defend people against people with smaller guns
>"It's mostly administrative."
bump
>"Did you see where they went?"
>"Who?"
>"The black guys who did this."
>"Hey, you still play golf, right?"
>"Stan, I'm a satanist, not a poor person."
This GIF.
god, any joke that relies on roger being somewhere before he's there is the best
>Steven Smith, I am your mother! If you don't get out of that cage right now I will push you back up my clown hole and birth you again and name you MY BITCH!
I'M AN ASSOCIATE!
Theres too many to remember but one that always gets me to laugh is when Stan is bullying Steve and he stands outside the window while Steve is telling Francine, saying "you better not say shit"
>Ethics he wants to talk about. Jewish history is a history of unethical conduct! First the Pharisees killed Jesus Christ, the only true son of God. And isn't it true that the Jews put a secret sauce on their Reubens that is actually just Thousand Island?! And who shot Gianni Versace? Was it a Jew? I don't know, it was in Miami.
Tell them how you killed our baby
RODGER NO!
Danuta.
This bit m.youtube.com
Or when Stan can’t stop winning at the Globe trotters.
>Good luck, the only thing that can stop me is a copper...
>*CLANG!*
>...pot?! What are you, cooking for cowboys?
Also
>We're destined to do this dance forever!
>I don't dance with men!
And also
>You can fly?!
>LIKE A FUCKING ANGEL!
The delivery on the last one really sells it.
Do you eat?
Wild turkeys can kind of fly
Kind of
Where are the last two from?
>Who kidnapped the Lindberg baby?
>Remember me? Let me tell you a little about myself. I grew up in a pretty unusual house.
It was a roundhouse! We were poor, so I had to make fruit juice from a mule. We called it donkey punch!
>Just tell him you're gonna make spaetzle, he's not gonna know
>No, it's the principle: We're going camping and we're NOT making spaetzle!
>I HOPE YOU DIE OUT THERE
>"this day isn't about you and your lies. It's about Roger and his lies"
>Damnit Roger now he’s getting away!
>....
>Jeff, you didn’t jump on the train?
>You wanna know why! Because I didn’t think of it
>*pulls out a flute and plays* O Shemus McFearson show yourself!!
>....
>Nnnn Where is my Leprechaun!?!
>*another train goes by that Jeff jumps onto it*
>Well Stan, I guess it’s just you and me
>Yep *shoots roger’s bike tire* and now it’s just me
>What the hell Stan!? What am I going to do now!?
>Walk you gross bowling pen!!
>*Leprechaun appears beside Roger* Where the hell is Jeff!?
>Well you tell him this still counts as one!
>"Enemy reinforcements! Rogu, the Alamo must not fall!"
>"Rogu going to Hell, but he not going alone. RAAAEERRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAGHHHHHHH!!!"
Steve looks so damn happy
No fly, jump good.
I forget the exact context, but it was when Roger was helping Hailey finding some secret big shot at something trivial (either pool or roller skating), which leads to this long complicated mess that ends up with them being taken to him with bags on their heads. When the big shot finally comes down the stairs, she's all excited to meet him and when she turns to Roger, she finds that he's not there.
Turns out the secret big shot was Roger, and upon this revelation Hailey just fucking leaves, despite Roger calling out to her, trying to keep up the act.
It was pool, Roger’s Big Shot persona just happened to wear roller skates that his father owned who also happened to one of Roger’s personas.
He didn’t fly so good
That's it! That whole bit was just gold.
I just love it when one of Roger's personas gets added as unexpected character, and they just have to deal with it.
I love it when even Roger’s not sure if it’s him or not.
>if I just found out I'm the Lindbergh baby,WHOM do I tell?
I DON'T HAVE VERY MUCH MONEY!!
The episode Bully for Steve is the greatest episode of the entire show for me. So many great moments.
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>I was a racecar driver
>a baby carriage rolled onto the track so I swerved to avoid it
>*I* was that baby!
That's not the exact quote because my memory is shit but I love wheels and the legman.
Who was in the right about the crate of oranges?
Steve got them up the stairs at the end. That's all I care about.
>He also introduced Stellios Kontos into the show which is also amazing.
>it starts with...
Klaus was such a pimp here
>My name is Braff Zacklin. I was an international race car driver. One day, a baby carriage rolled out onto the track so I swerved into the retaining wall to avoid it. The car burst into flames, but the baby miraculously survived ... I was that baby.
Probably my favourite Roger line.
>Roger, how could you?!
>I'm not Roger, I'm the Phantom!
>[Stan unmasks Roger]
>GASP! Roger!
>Yeah, who did you think I-- What?
>But that doesn't make any sense.
>I'M BRAFF ZACKLIN!
>Hayley, this isn't how I wanted you to find out, but your daddy is a brilliant painter.
i actually super fucking hate the wheels and legman episodes. i dont find them funny
That specific joke peaked for me when they realized they did it so much and played with the expectations in the Tree Dad episode
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My favourite running joke is the family being wise to Roger's personas and constantly calling him out on it or just refusing to play along.
>That episode where Hayley and Roger go to some sort of gambling tournament and when it turns out the kingpin is Roger Hayley just gets up and walks away
Is that the one where Roger says "honestly I thought it was going to be me too"?
STEVE
>Guys, you remember my Uncle Roger?
TOSHI
>Ah, yes. The alien in the wig.
STEVE
>Yeah, on my mom's side.
I havn't kept up with the latest season, is Rogu a new character? I saw a little bit of him and thought he was just a one time character?
Nah, that's another one, happens more than you think
I like that one bit from when they were roasting roger and he hunts them on the space shuttle
THERES NOTHING IN THE PILLOWS! ITS JUST MORE POO!
>"Irwin Beyer Junior, acting coach. This... this is you, isn't it? I'm gonna get down there, and it's gonna be you."
>"It's a strong possibility."
>Steve goes to clown school
>"They say he's the strictest, most -Ah shit, it's Roger isn't it? It's gonna be Roger"
>When one of Roger's personas had a human brother, whose mother was also Roger
>It was me, Roger, the whole time.
Adding more to the "family getting sick of Roger's shit" pile:
ROGER (As Jeannie Gold)
>Stan, these are my sons, Alex and Ron. They're in Columbia Film School.
STAN
>How is that possible?
ROGER
>I know. I look too young to have kids in college.
STAN
>No, that you have children when your persona is completely fabricated...
ROGER
>We are the music makers. We are the dreamers of dreams.
STAN
>That is an unsatisfying answer.
>and me? Super gay also
>Why can't Jeff live with his own family?
>He hasn't spoken to his dad in years, and his mother ran away before he was born!
>How... How could she do that?
I must plan my next move carefully
>that little back step he does
the whole clown school bit is hilarious, and its the best roger one
>the teacher is supposed to be the most intense and demanding instructor in all of clowning and shit its roger its gonna be roger
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also
>did you ever think your son would be going to one of the most exclusive, non-segregated clowning academy's on the Atlantic seaboard
One of my favourite things about the show is how it constantly bounces between Stan and Francine in terms of which one is the responsible one and which one is the idiot.
what episode is this from, i still cant figure it out
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I don't know if this was posted yet. But I would blast this shit when it was pizza and bar night.
He hit Reshma!
Shut up Klaus
Spaetzle is pretty good
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One of my favorite greg and terry moments.
Sure you can pay people to do unpleasant things, but you may not always have money, so when you're broke and can't pay people to do things, the unpleasant things become even harder and unpleasant, so you might as well learn to be self sufficient so even if you can pay for most of your services, you can have the security knowing you can do things on your own if you have to. I don't like how the episode moral assumes everybody has a trustfund so it's cool and okay to piss away money by paying people to do things you just don't want to do.
He's not always appearing in episodes but comes in for a gag or two and had an episode revolving around him
Good boy witches!
Man, I really miss Greg and Terry
10, 21, 16, 47
That chainsaw and cheetah always slays me.
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As for me, this slow mo always gets me laughing, especially since they pretty much only got the Ferrari just to spite Klaus.
it's time you knew the truth
i fucking knew it
>"Welp, that's our story Stan's dead, Good night"
How is American Dad THAT much funnier than Family Guy
I'm gonna say because of absurdism. It's such a dumb show with rediculous plot lines. It's hard not to laugh at a dog dying because a hot air balloon full of pirate cats landed on it.
>Fine! Who's at the top of your PBS bang list?
>I bet you're a Sesame Street girl. Cookie Monster, so obvious. That guy in the trash can. He's pretty hot. Oh, I know. You want Bert and Ernie, two for one. That's good value, Haley.
>AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!! OH MY GOD! THAT GUY CRAPPED ALL OVER MY ROOM! IT'S EVERYWHERE! I KNOW IT'S HIS, 'CAUSE THERE'S HOT DOG PIECES IN IT!
>OH GOD! IT'S BETWEEN THE MATTRESS AND THE BOXSPRING! IT'S SMOOSHED INTO THE OUTLETS! IT'S UNDER THE CARPET! IT'S IN MY DVD TRAY! IT'S TRYING TO PLAY IT! IT'S WHERE THE BATTERIES ARE SUPPOSED TO BE INSIDE MY SMOKE DETECTOR! IT'S BETWEEN EVERY PAGE OF MY BOOKS! IT LOOKS LIKE MY PILLOW IS IN MY PILLOWCASE, BUT IT IS NOT!!!
because its not just gag after gag, each episode has a story and doesn't need to cut out to some unrelated incident to make a joke
>"You know me, dick don't pay for strange. It even says so on my mug"
Roger is the one character that single-handedly keeps American Dad afloat IMO
I think all the characters are funny, but Roger is mechanically useful in the sense that his personas allow them to get really flexible with the ways they use and implement him into plots. Where other shows would use bit characters, American Dad can just give Roger a persona, which is inherently funny.
I don’t even wanna know Stan’s reaction.
>Did you see where they went?
>Where who went?
>The black guys who did this
Like RAIDER DAVE!
>Don't you worry about time, let me worry about time.
>SHIT, SHIT, DAMN IT, WE'RE SO FUCKIN' LATE!
>Come on Rogu, you want more screen time?
>YES, BUT BETTER VIDEO
>drive MX5 (yes I get it I'm gay and whatever)
>always park away from cars when possible
>occasionally can't
>see people preparing to pull into my spot, see a car is there and get visibly pissed off
The angriest ones by far are women in SUVs with a "can I speak to the manager" haircut and oversized sunglasses
Just call it a Miata you fucking hairdresser
STELIO
>That's you!
>That's him!
STELIO KANTOS
I love later on, when they are meeting with Principal Brian, and they are asking Steve to identify who is bullying him. Steve looks at each one there and they give him the nod to go ahead. He gets to Stan and Stan has the wig on and threatens him.
>I think you'll like mexico it's a lot like america, on opposite day.
Best Boy
That throat punch really got me
That dog had it coming
>tfw RC Cola and an orangutan could have saved that baby.
>not gonna lie to you steve, I could use those 12 dollars
>settle down with a nice ham sandwich
>Rogu going to Hell, but Rogu not going alone
It's just the difference between having good writers who know how to be funny and bad writers who are just phoning it in.
DANUTA. DANUTA.
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>His eyes are red because he smokes weeeeeed
>How did you get your job?
>It's mostly administrative
>Tell anyone and I'll fucking kill you
Legitimately the hardest I've laughed at anything in a long time. This new season has been a real return to form.
>"This guy is supposed to be amazing and SHIT it's Roger it's gonna be Roger, isn't it?"
I always love that Hayley has to destroy the phone to get him to stop.
>"Roger!? How did you even get in?"
>"Oh when you weren't looking I took your house keys out of your pocket and replaced it with yogurt"
>"What the hell...?"
Something about Hayley's line read there cracks me up every time.
Reminder that this was supposed to be the actual series finale.
They didn't know if they'd get another season after this.
Be honest, did this episode awaken anything in you?
I can literally hear this in my head. The fact that she still manages to put on a wedding despite all the setbacks and her two sons were there to support her is all she needs.
>I have no problem supporting Roger as a TG character but actual people infuriate me. Weird.
but isnt it the first episode of a season?
>El perro, el perro, es mi corazon.
>El gato, el gato, el gato no es bueno.
>Cilantro es cantante,
>Cilantro es muy famoso
>Cilantro es el hombre con el queso del diablo.
>El perro, el perro, nunca sin raison
>El gato, el gato, el gato es obseno
>Cilantro es caliente, Cilantro es carinoso
>Cilantro le da besos mejor que su esposo
>Daaaamn hombre,you can DANCE
I just realized that Rogu is more like ET than Roger right down to the screeching.
I think it aired as one of the first of that season, but it was in production later and eventually got pushed to the front when Fox ordered more episodes.
Probably to not make it too confusing for the audience.
When are we going home big bro?
>the ending where Roger and Steve are about to kiss
>Because I Jeannie Gold
>...
>Am also your sister
>So many things make sense right now!
>Dr Ray, didn't you die?
>No
>Oh ok then
God am I drawn to Jenny.
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This and this random cut.
Best Girl
I love that this episode could be the series finale if they wanted it. Thank god they didn't.
Francine is probably still my fave. She ticks so many boxes it's insane.
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American Dad doesn't rely on shitty cutaways and constant over-the-top, graphic violence.
The most memorable violent moment in American dad is youtu.be
I don't know if Stan had a real point, it seems like a lesson in adversity but Steve could never hope to solely stand up to Stan. Though Steve never really tried either just ran away until he hired Stelios. Reasonably, Stan has a point about "life will have adversity and you can't/shouldn't always buy or weasel your way out of it." but Stan isn't a reasonable person and dressed up like a teenager and physically assaulted his son.
However in a later episode, Steve tried to buy Stelios again to beat up his new bully, but Stelios befriended him and the two collaborated in kicking Steve's ass. So Stan, sorta.
I have a lot of favorite episodes but one I don't see referenced a lot in these threads is the Hurricane one
It had a lot of funny moments
>My OLD COLLEGE JAVELIN, remember?
>Roger getting shocked and floating away just looking at Stan
>You need to stop with the Architect Jargon. Seriously, look at me. You need to zip it, lock it, and keep it in your pocket.
>It's hungry for flesh AND knowledge!
>"Is he gonna be okay!? :D"
>"...no..."
For a moment I thought it was going to be, "You're worrying over a hill of bananas."
this one's pretty good
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I swear you are the only person on Yea Forums who uses that term for a haircut.
That first clip really got me.