You are resurrected as one of these characters, which one is it?
Probably Meg. Mostly just to try out being a girl.
Squidward. Most of his unhappiness comes from him trying too hard and just not trying to get along.
Kif gets layed
Kif. He is highly durable and is fucking a hot Chinese Millionaire constantly.
They end up together or did they split?
Ended up together and Kif had babies.
>Millionaire
She's hairess to half of Mars. That's billions easy, probably trillions.
Technically it's not hers yet.
Probably Meg, Kif is just pathetic and I don't want to have my toenails violently ripped off like Squidward.
At least Meg can be successful if she tries.
>resurrect as Meg
>live in constant fear of Peter or someone just randomly maiming or mudering you for a joke
>resurrect as Kif
>explore Space and get into crazy hijinks all while fucking a 10/10 Asian hottie. Zapp will get you into some crazy and dangerous situations but everything always works out in the end
>resurrect as Squidward
>be a 40 something failure working a cashier job at a fast food joint with no friends or happiness
Kif, easily
>A depressed, unlikable teenager
>A depressed, unlikable adult
>A competent, if often unrespected, high-ranking member of a space fleet, with a loving wife to boot.
Jeez what a hard choice.
Not that hard, Keef is a coward and a shitty job but has a pretty good life all things considering.
Meg is weird as how awful things are is purely dependent on what season of Family Guy we're talking about. Early 2000's she had an alright life and even current 2018/19 seasons the writers realized how unfunny her being a punching bag was and backpedaled hard since.
Early/Mid 2010's Meg on the other hand is absolute hell that can only end in suicide.
Wait, do we have to live their entire televised lives?
Because just reminds me that if I was resurrected as Kif, would I have to give birth to kids?
>Punching bag
>Dating a rich Asian-Martian hottie
>Burger slave
Gee I wonder which one I should pick.
Kif
>Competent and an actual good fighter
>Managed a loving relationship with the heir to mars
>Has a high ranking position and is what's really keeping his team alive rather then Zapp
>durable
Meanwhile the other options are
>Girl who's disgusting and is severely abused by her entire family because that's the only way the family can function properly
or
>Guy who brings it on himself most of the time and is incredibly full of himself and is all around unlucky and stuck working as a cashier with no talent
How's this even a debate
Kif obviously. High ranking job in the space military and married to wealthy, Asian pussy.
Squidwards at least 30
Squidward
>Anger issues
>Mediocre artist
Squidward. Most of his problems are self-inflicted.
Yes.
I never got the humor. I still don't. But then I can't watch family guy anymore, like the simpsons it got real bad
Kif is the onlt answer
This, Kif has the devotion of a hot (by her universe standards) Asian billionairess.
This isn't even a close call.
definitly Squidward
wouldn't want to be beta max like Kif. Everyone here preaches he has an exciting life but he's arguebly the biggest tool of the three, with the only upside being his luck with amy.
Meg just lives a miserable life all around, with everyone bullying her for no reason but she would be somewhat of a second choice because she has an actual healthy character.
Squidward is pretty much me already with a more inflated ego and somewhat more intelligent and has ambitions. And he does actually succeed at times
>Not Zoidberg
All things considered, I'd still pick Kif
>be 14-bis
>get popular on deviantart through fanart
>proceed to never grow as an artist and continue to do the same thing for the past decade while becoming more and more irrelevant
Kiff>Squidward>Meg
Kiff still has kickass adventures and gets a smoking hot Asian-Martian gf, even if he's a lapboy for the Earth's biggest jackass (but you know, with his experience he could probably apply for a higher position, they never really go into how promotions work in the 31st century but if it's in the same job field I don't see why not).
Squidward is actually an extremely talented artist who's well versed in many different forms of artistic expression. He's just an egotistical self-centered asshole. I don 't know if the resurrection implies I inherit their personality, but either way Spongebob is a more minor nuisance compared to being the Griffin family's punching bag.
Truth be told, I like Meg a lot, but I sure as hell don't want to BE her. Rarely do people find her attractive, she has many medical and physiological issues, and worst yet she's the unluckiest person in the whole Family Guy world (next to Joe possibly), and is constantly, unnecessarily the but of every joke and constantly abused by not just the family bu the entire cast. The only silver lining is she gets to fuck with Adam West, which might be a teenage dream to bang a silver fox celebrity, but we're talking about cartoon West here.
I'm fine with being KIf. He seems like the only person who gives a shit in his universe. Might be frustrating but that's the worst of it.
...
Well he also dies in that one movie.
So does Meg, though.
Kip because Amy is hot and Zap is hilarious.
Kif, easily. Aside from some shyness and passive/subservient nature, he's actually competent and easily the most capable.
Yeah, Kif wins out on this one, even with the weird life cycle. I'd probably give unholy manbirth in this life, too, if I got to marry a faithful hot Asian trillionairess
You probably won't find him hilarious, after you have been forced to clean his toenails every night while he boasts about pounding Leela that one time for 5000th time. You are also denied alcohol because you are "loyal enough". Also, Zap blames you for all his mistakes.
...mediocre?
Not sure why he didn’t go all in on nude content or comics, he occasionally did nudes in the last
You need the reaction image, fag
I appreciate your different answer. But man Squidward lives a miserable life. I mean I get it all three are options because they are constantly beaten down in their universe. But Squidward never gets to be with anyone but himself or SpongeBob. That's the joke throughout the entirety of the show. He's mentioned of having one ex girlfriend & liking Patricia. At least Meg is shown having friends and has had a varied dating history. And Kiff everyone has already given their reasons why he's the best. I think Squidward has it the worst. Especially in the newer seasons where people say the best down on Squidward and the show becomes more mean spirited.
kif he gets pussy
Kif. I'd arrange for Zap to have a little accident and then enjoy my life as a high ranking military officer with a wealthy slutty waifu.
Kif > Squidward > Meg
In terms of overall life. Kif looks a pretty good life. He has a hot girlfriend who loves him for real and most of the time despite Zap getting shit turned on its head, Zap gets the comeuppance and not Kif. Squidward has a shit life because he refuses to not be a dick. Being Squidward is a matter of changing your perspective and actively trying to enjoy the life. Being Meg is horrible because no matter what she will attempt or what you may attempt as her, in the name of humor, it won't work. Your family actively use you as a coping tool for their own shitty lives and there is nothing you can do about it besides living in hell.
Meg lol
kif is married to a hot dumb rich asian
how is this a question
Notice how all of these characters debuted in 1999
Kif
>Get to fuck aliens
>Space
>The Future