Jesus fucking Christ I didn't know movies could get THIS bad. I...

I enjoyed all the scenes where people were talking but their mouths were either not moving or blatantly not matching what they were saying. I usually don't notice ADR but it was so bad and so often I couldn't not see it.

>need a palette cleanser after this disaster
>redownload og Hellboy
>discover it's an extended edition
well, at least something good came out of this

Just a reminder that Mignola shot all the good ideas for 3 in personal favor of this shit, which he called "more faithful to the comics."

The rightsholders of the latest movie are butthurt enough to compat pirate sites I will not name.

Baba Yaga scene was cool as hell. Have said that, not even my brainlet normie friends liked it, and they like the bayformers franchise.

Man I can't believe how much better that was. Even noticed new stuff, like HB doing his sound effects when he was hitting creatures.

It was wasted potential the movie. They brought a lot of the stuff from the comics and messed all of it up.

They combined like 5 or 6 different Hellboy stories into this right?

That's not so bad. That's kind of funny.

Of the hundreds of movies I've watched. It was one of the few I couldn't finish.

The cop's "acting" is so bad I audibly groaned.

> they should have waited and saved it for Halloween
They should have also made it an actual horror movie instead of a superhero flick with stapled on horror elements. It looked like they were trying to out-Endgame Endgame with giant world shattering capeshit battles.

I sitll say a proper reboot / start for Hellboy would be to just straight up adapt the first story arc which is at its base a haunted house movie.

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Why is his hand so tiny?

I'm watching it now, and goddamn, I have to concur... Barely ONE minute in, and it's already paced weird. I'm now 20mins in and I don't quite get what's going on, seems like a lot compressed into a very small timeframe, and the amount of quipping is jarring.

How about, at one point they mispronounce Broom's name despite the fact that Mignola spells it phonetically the first time he appears so that never happens?

>let's try to do 5 years of comic storylines in a single movie. what could go wrong?

There's a scene where Hellboy is knocked out by a river. He wakes up by the water and his left hand looks orange because the water dyed away the red makeup

>DUDE WHAT IF WE DO EVERYTHING THE DEL TORO MOVIES DID WRONG AND NONE OF WHAT THEY DID RIGHT

Find out

youtube.com/watch?v=KTuzleFnItE

I just realized i have no idea what the plot of this movie is, and i watched it last week
so bad

Who could forget the epic comic The Left Hand of Doom

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Is there anything worse in the whole fucking world then when someone says "No one will notice!" and everyone notices? You might as well post a sign that says "YOU CARE MORE ABOUT THIS MOVIE THAN WE DO, LOSER" on the title card.

Only 20mins left... What's the point of all this violence? Nice demonic creatures, but it's all gore porn for no reason? And then they have these weird cuts between scenes, as if they knew they made the movie too long for its damn self but they still gotta cram it full of blood and guts...

How does that prop even exist?!

I think at one point they realized they had a big mess and decided to throw everything at it (more jokes! more violence!) to try and salvage it

Probably mirrored a shot.

Haven't watched it, but from the trailers it looks like they just combined 2: The Wild Hunt and The Storm/The Fury. Aka, the last two volumes of Hellboy.

Why the fuck the Ian Mcshane sound like he's talking through a mouthful of bread? Can't even do narration right.

This one obviously doesn't stack up to the previous movies, but you gotta admit that horrific hellscape scene was top tier. I've never seen such senseless demonic rampaging so beautifully animated.

>The year is 517 a.d., known as the Dark Ages... and for fucking good reason

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I can't really put my finger on it but something about the movie just felt really low budget.

Eh, watchmojo and looper are okay to watch every now and then if you want something akin to junk food. I find their "worst movies/tv shows of the year" videos to be entertaining just because I'm a glutton for so bad it's good shit.

My friend, it's only just starting

It's fairly mid-budget but it seems low budget because the shooting was such a disaster that it's just cobbled together from the parts that they had in editing which is also how very low budget (like Asylum) movies get made. The bad ADR is always a tip too

Is there a clip of this?

I'm gonna have to watch this for some good laughs at some point.

Jesus, you're right. And he sounds sarcastic when he says "off the face of the Earth". Plus, his voice just doesn't sound fitting at all. Maybe because he's blandly describing events with no emotion? It sounds like the scene was meant to be silent and some guy with a cheap microphone decided to add a brief synopsis while he was eating lunch.

I loved the Perlman movies.
Haven't watched the new one, is it truly as bad as people say it is?...

It is genuinely worse.

Is it even worth watching?
Talking so bad that it can be enjoyable?

There's a scene where Ben Daimio was clearly going to the Q branch part of BPRD to gear up but they needed to establish that he had a Hellboy killing bullet so they added a line about him going across the street to a black market dealer in post production but the black market dealers were clearly still the BPRD Q branch and every time someone talks in the scene their mouths don't match their words.

You need to watch this movie, it's a masterpiece of bad.

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There are some scenes that seem worth it, but they come so late that you may as well just go looking for shitty clips on Youtube.

>Hellboy goes to file his horns
>You can see the prosthetic moving all over the place on his head while he does it

The whole movie looks like they didn't care.

Jesus.

On another note, just from that clip, is anyone else surprised that Milla Jovovich seems like the best part of the whole thing?

I like Del Toro's but the main flaw is that they're Del Toro movies, not Hellboy. This movie so easily could have adapted the comics and crushed it but instead they're just D grade Del Toro knockoffs. It is head spinning. Why the fuck does Hellboy or Broom quip in every scene and why is there awful hair metal guitar solos for the whole soundtrack? Why would you make those decisions reading this? The word for Hellboy is: melancholy. That is what Del Toro's filmed lacked but this lacked it even more.

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It's easier to list the okay parts:
>King Arthur opener
>Baba Yaga
>Milla Jovovich
>The giant fight
>Hellboy's summoning
>Demons destroying London
Everything else was pretty weak. Hellboy's dad seemed out of place, Hellboy's sidekicks sucked, the pig rival was shit, the British whatever organization raised too many questions, and the plot was a mess. I'd still suggest watching it if you're bored but I have a high tolerance for shit.

Hellboy's way too goofy to make that work.

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can I get a source? Not entirely unbelievable but I'd love to have further context .

Was I right?

The trailer (and Daimio's make up) crushed my expectations so I never went to see it.

Attached: Hellboy trailer.png (1612x507, 44K)

It's 11-14 stories? by this count based on trailers?

Well hey, maybe we'll get a 3rd Del Toro Hellboy, now.

She always is the only saving grace of miserable action movies, that's her whole career.

It's TOTALLY a homage to when Mignola accidently gave him a left hand of doom! No not really

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After the film I tried doing a rough count. I think there are about 21 or so issues worth of story in the movie. On standard in straight adaptation I think comics are about 15 minutes of screen time. So to do the material they tried justice they would need a film five hour fifteen minute long movie.

>Hellboy's way too goofy

Read comics

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He didn't exactly shoot anything down. Del Toro is always willing to play hardball and he refused to make HB3 unless he was given the budget he needed to make his movie without compromise. Mignola was tired of waiting so he rebooted without him and he didn't want to look like a snake so he said he was doing it "for a more faithful film for the fans." They legit were best friends and collaborated for years and now that's over.

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You undershot it, it's far worse.

It seems like the clusterfuck of a movie burned a lot of bridges between mignola and his collaborators and freinds and fucked the comics up pretty hard, all so Mignola could make one of the worst comic films out there

>Tell me how bad this was?
Baba Yaga's make up is great. Everything else is legitimately horrid.

Virgin Blood Queen vs Chadlina

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fuck off and die please, thanks

It's not bad at all, incels are just seething because there are *gasp* women and minorities in the movie.

What the fuck are you on about?

Rent free

also, gr8 b8 m8

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He doesn't own the movie rights. He kind of has fairly little choice here. Also it had fuck all to do with the comics. What?

Is there a colored version?

It's "a version of color", you fucking racist.

Lmao.

I knew Yea Forums wouldn't fail me.

Dad out here crushing it on my 4chans

Because they absolutely engulfed David Harbour in prosthetics. His chest and most of his head are prosthetic, which makes the rest of him look disproportionate. I know HB has kind of weird proportions in the comics, but they're not this bad.

Whilst Mignola does not own the movie rights as a whole, the movie is just another example of him burning bridges with once-close associates and collaborators. He'd already done this in the comics around the time the movie was being hyped up, but only finished destroying the franchise some time after.

At first I thought it was a parody narration. Oh my fucking god what is this abomination?

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>NO MORTAL WEAPON CAN HARM ME!
>*snikt*
>GASP! EXCALIBUR!

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>Oh NO, King Arthur has Excalibur, why didn't anyone tell me?

I kept waiting for the actual plot to begin the whole movie. Like "when can I get invested?". Answer: you can't. The characters just run from set to set without rhyme or reason.

kek

It's so bad you won't even get that. At most you'll cry because it sucks so much.

And Hellboy kept getting knocked out and tossed around, it's ridiculous. Every time it happens is a new story by the way, it lacks cohesion. And I don't even get what even was the point of the Osiris Club aside from establishing that others want Hellboy dead? But they could've done that without that whole subplot with the giants. It's a complete waste of time because said giants aren't referenced anymore, and everyone gets killed off.

No.

Mignola got Mark Hamill/Billy Murray'd but because he's not as big as them it's less widely known and not reported on. The Studio basically said "we're doing this movie, now say the stuff we want you to say or we'll sue you" which is why he kept repeating "this movie is totally more comic accurate" every time someone asked.

I feel pretty bad for the old guard who basically got sucker punched with this film they made in 12 months to get Del Toro to fuck off.

>Demons destroying London
I almost agree with this, but at the same I kept thinking "oh look, someone got inspired by the new Doom".

Please post it.

>Mark Hamill

You really need to stop pushing this narrative, it's embarrassing and it's been BTFO a million times. Just hate the movie, it's ok if Mark Hamill disagrees with you.

I believe is this one in fact I didn't even notice, because I was busy wondering why the fuck were these knights electrocuting Hellboy with spears in the river, as they were also standing in said river. How the fuck didn't they die?

>Mark Hamill has said publically that he disagreed with the direction of TLJ
>He was only allowed to say this after the movie was made

Don't be surprised when Mignola mentions in an interview a few years down the track that the studio forced this movie on him.

Calm down Aspie, it’s not that bad.

Literally every comic movie wants to be “that other movie but better”, not being an adaptation of a comic.

>>He was only allowed to say this after the movie was made
That's standard NDA procedure, he's not gonna blather about the script while it's getting filmed.

>Don't be surprised when Mignola mentions in an interview a few years down the track that the studio forced this movie on him.

He's been saying that already but it's clearly back peddling because he knifed his friend in the back to make the worst movie ever

Haha oh god yes, that's all I could think this entire scene. Also the fight against the giants felt really floaty. And goddamn did they overuse the stock sound effects. If I hadn't been so burned out by the end of the movie I would have laughed uncontrollably at Daimio's "80s metal album" jaguar sound.

Yeah, instead he talked it up. That's not NDA, it's "you are contractually obligated to give good press in the run up to the movie."

Kill yourself, brainlet, don't let the studio jews tell you what to think.

Yes it is, you turdmuncher.

It was one of the worst films I have seen in a while.

The worst aspect of LAF Hellboy for me is that Hellboy is reduced to a loudmouthed imbecile in the movie. He's supposed to be what? 80 years old at this point? Active in the BPRD since the late 1950's?
And yet he doesn't know about the Osirus Club, doesn't know how vampires work, the nature of witches...basically the only supernatural knowledge he displays in this movie is the Iron/Fairy bit, and then because it's integral to Alice's backstory that he does.
He's a big dumb hollering Fred Flintstone in this movie.

Yeah, it sucks that Bruttenholm is turned into an asshole in this movie. It's worse that Hellboy spends the film shouting "DAAADDD!" at the top of his lungs. In fact half his dialogue is just loud shouting.

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Nothing we say will convince you otherwise, so may as well leave it at that.

Either that or going "uhhh okay"

there's no 'we' here, only (you)

Do you have any proof, any whatsoever, that Mignola actually intended to completely backstab a bunch of close, personal friends, to let a studio make a terrible, terrible film?

Everything Mignola has been saying, literally started in the first 24 hours of the film's release has been: The studio said this and that and made me do such and such and I never got to talk to half the crew but the studio had my best interests at heart. At one point he even got asked specifically about whether he ever tried to say no and gives a very evasive answer that he couldn't say no because they'd do it anyway.

They could have spent the money used to make this, $50 million, and made an extended 90 minute version of "The Conqueror Worm", and actually had a pretty damn good movie.
Instead they crammed together this abomination.

Do you post this in every thread or are there multiple Yea Forums retards here with the same trash?

Checked

Does anyone have a screencap of the...guts ghost thingies Alice conjured? I couldn't stop staring at Broom's barely existent neck. Reminded me of the Rock in The Mummy Returns.

Those looked like shit. Does that happen in comics too?

It's like Battle Angel Alita: bad, but exponentially worse the more familiar you are with the source material.

In the comics Alice is this nice girl with no powers who gives Excalibur to this dying war veteran, and inherits England as the new Fae Queen at the end of the world, period.

Haha god no. Alice is a completely different character in the comics.

Nope the diarrhea conjuring is OC

I couldn't even understand what she said by way of explanation. "I just had [?] come out of my mouth, so no I'm not okay."

I wonder who the fuck came up with that power of hers. I had no idea what I was even looking at.

cringe
reddit spacing

Lol guess it is just you then

She just sort developed new, plot-convenient powers as the movie stumbled along.

Somehow, Hellboy spends 70 years fighting evil without learning that A. you can't "save" vampires. or B. Baba Yaga eats children. He only has to learn about iron horseshoes because the Faeries in this interpretation do whatever you ask if you just threaten them with an ass kicking.

>Narrator sounds like a drunken hobo with a lisp.
Sounds like a youtube poop. What were they thinking. Did they miss all the audio tapes and take Ralph the cleaning guy to do the narration day before release?

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>He only has to learn about iron horseshoes because the Faeries in this interpretation do whatever you ask if you just threaten them with an ass kicking.
That scene was bizarre. It felt like it didn't even belong in the film.

It served the movie's secondary purpose, which is to dump long exposition to explain what is going on in it.
Seriously, nothing is allowed to be mysterious for more than 30 seconds. Another trait is shares with Alita: Battle Angel.
Everything has to be explained almost immediately, and possibly with an unnecessary flashback. Why have the Alice flashback if you are going to dump the cool story attached to it? Or fuck, even Gugrach's tragic backstory? Blah blah blah blah blah. The movie wastes so much time telling because it can't afford to show, and the artists are so talentless aside from whoever did the Baba Yaga, which stand out glaringly for being so well done.

>I wonder who the fuck came up with that power of hers.
It frankly looked like a ripoff from the Ancient One in Doctor Strange. Her power made absolutely NO sense in terms of her alleged abilities, she was supposed to be a medium... Now she can manipulate souls all of the sudden?

Oh...ok
I tought It was Fun.
I guess you need to be a fan of Hellboy to hate It. I havent read a single comic and it was entretaining enought.

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>The worst aspect of LAF Hellboy for me is that Hellboy is reduced to a loudmouthed imbecile in the movie
The original two films do this as well. Even with brand new agent audience-foil in the first one Abe is still constantly explaining things to HB.

I'm glad we stopped pretending Alita was good, and not the exposition, disjointed mess it actually was with a rushed ending.

Fuck, now that I think about it more, you could have taken that budget, and done hour episodes on Netflix or Amazon involving the classic old Hellboy shorts and it would have been so much fucking better. One episode with Baba Yaga's first appearance, one episode with baby Alice and the Faerie folk and burying the dead guy and Gugrach. One episode Conqueror Worm. One episode Hellboy in Mexico.

Fuck, why did we not get THAT??

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Having rewatched the original Hellboy just yesterday to forget the other one, I kinda disagree. Del Toro's Hellboy is merely impatient. The fact that he made his own bullets and raised the corpse in the graveyard speak to his resourcefulness. Usually the case for him is just more clear-cut, so he goes straight for the swinging.
Although he is certainly more juvenile than in the comics.

Yes, but in the first movies, Hellboy a recluse who lives hidden on a base, not a globetrotting public figure.

Even if by some miracle I hadn't read the comics, I'm fairly certain I'd hate it. It gave me similar vibes as Venom in that it has no real script, characterization or agency and just wants to put a bunch of "cool" scenes together but has nothing that connects them. And in contrast to Venom it didn't even have any cool scenes.

Even the visually neat stuff with Baba Yaga is ruined by Hellboy being a retard who isn't aware that wicked witches eat children.
Even my 9 yr old niece who's read Hansel and Gretel realizes bad witches eat kids. I think my buddies 4 yr old daughter who loves the Wizard of Oz might be dimly aware of it.

It's acceptable that Hellboy doesn't know the traits of an ancient Demon that literally just got freed from a museum. Not knowing how the most infamous and powerful witch in his world works is ridiculous. It's like not knowing that Dracula is a vampire that likes to prey on beautiful women.

They just had to explain it to the viewer. That's why most things come as a surprise to Hellboy. It's the reason why Del Toro had a new agent in the first film, so that Hellboy would know shit.

The most egregious part of this is that he knows her by name and at least has previous brushes with her, so him acting shocked she made a children meat stew is just dumb.

"WHAT, YOU GOT TURNED INTO A VAMPIRE? HANG ON BUDDAY, IT'LL BE OK, WE CAN GET YOU FIXED AND STUFF"

This is literally the most unlikable character I have seen in SOME TIME.

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That was really stupid.

>Hellboy's too goofy to make that work
Oh, so you dont read the comics.

I don't know, ironically she was...kinda cute? But that was literally her only character trait.

His whole chest and neck is clearly just a rubber piece and it folds so bad everytime he moves.

God I just fucking despised her and I legit had no problem with her being black. I will admit I'm a bit prejudiced against the OI BOLLOCKS M8 A LITTLE UH THE OL IN AND OUT shit

Oh yeah she did that too, didn't she. I kinda only remembered the scene where HB puts the military helmet on her and thought "that's pretty cute".
And...that's kinda all I remembered even though I watched it yesterday. Oh yeah and punching ghosts out of zombies for whatever reason?

Seconded.
You've got to be at least pic related levels of ronery to find her character "cute".

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Holy shit that sounds mindblowingly bad. I want to see it now.

Zeroing on her is kinda weird considering how EVERYTHING else was so godawful in comparison, and she was barely in the movie for most of the run (not even during the first half or so).

>every time someone talks in the scene their mouths don't match their words

This is the entire movie. I legit have never had a contemporary movie make me think of Darkplace for unintentional reasons.

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I can't say I found her character cute, but she...acted cute? Sometimes? I don't know, somehow that was the impression I got from her. "Be the plucky sidekick".

She is a walking, talking plot contrivance.
>Hellboy needs to figure out some shit from the now-dead Osiris Club
"Well lookit that now, l can apparently now spit out some Cronenberg Klum-Baby Ghosts that spout exposition, innat useful! Betcher glad you brought me along!
>Oh crap! Now we have Evil Dead zombies for no explicable reason cept we haven't had action in a while
"Well lookit that, now I can bunch souls out of bodies! What a sudden and unexpected development! Glad you keep bringing me along eh? EH?

And then by the end of the movie, we need Klum Baby power to save Hellboy from being a stupid jackass, and in the epilogue she's soul-punching Black Widow with silver fucking brass knuckles.

Bleah.

*punch not bunch

and to be clear, shes "A" soul-punching Black Widow-type, not literally punching Marvel's Black Widow.

They fucking ruined the Gruagach

>doing the I RECOGNIZE THAT I CLAPPED with Koshchei of all people

Yea so you alienate every HB fan by making it edgelord MCU and then give a tease that only a HB fan would understand. Morons.

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That's mostly a Yea Forums contrivance

>brainlet normie friends
You sound like a great guy.

Not clicking that link you shill

I need to fucking see this for myself. Is it out on bluray yet?

Yea for a long while now. The bombs get out of the theater and go straight to home video to recoup as much as possible and this was there in a few weeks.

Fantastic, I'll torrent it as soon as I get home from work.

Get drunk. And if you have homeboys call them over.

LAF Hellboy ruined everything it touched upon.
Everything.
Even bits that weren't any good to begin with.

I laught when she gave a "bill for damages" and it was a piece of paper written "you owe me 1000,00 dolars"

for real?

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>with one swing of his sword
>swings two times
uuuuuuuuuh

In fact, six E-Celebs in cheap Halloween costumes could have made a better Hellboy movie than this.

This movie deserved to make negative a billion dollars.

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title card: PENDLE HILL, 517 AD
but they literally just told us the year like 10 seconds ago? did they think we forgot that's what we're watching?

I'm tired, but I seem to remember all the location titles being FUCKING HUGE BEYOND ALL CAPS?

you remember well

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I was invested in the pigs story, but really needed to be certain things that never happened.

He should've had a conversation with Alice since he seemed so pissed off he never got to live her life.

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wait what

I can't get over how they couldn't even get his animations right. Whenever he was talking he made such strange jerky movements I thought the 3d would pop any moment and show those strange animation errors you get in the Merida test reel.

The last scene teases Abe and there are two credits scenes. One has Lobster Johnson and the other teases the Deathless.

This giant block font shit is so trendy. And I bet it hard cut just insta appeared on the screen.

Oh. I only caught the Lobster Johnson one and that was already enough. Hellboy's end line summarizes this movie perfectly.
>well that was a thing that happened

The scene with the demons fucking up London belonged in a better movie, without the comedic editing. Those designs were great. Really, the design folks did a fantastic job all around, but this is a yet another tragic case of a good art department paired with a bad everything else.

Yea the monsters were solid straight up adaptations of the John Arcudi art. I bet you can't get guess how much money Arcudi get paid for that as well as co-creating Ben Daimio and most of the BPRD mythos.

>And I don't even get what even was the point of the Osiris Club aside from establishing that others want Hellboy dead? But they could've done that without that whole subplot with the giants. It's a complete waste of time because said giants aren't referenced anymore, and everyone gets killed off.
Isn't like that in the comics too?

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I'm not saying them wanting Hellboy dead was wrong, is that they could've done completely without them and skipped right to the Seer, which was the only relevant character from that subplot. Nothing came out of the giants subplot nor the attempt of murder, just more dead bodies that were quickly forgotten by the next scene.

No. They are continuing characters right up to when HB dies.

>Yea the monsters were solid straight up adaptations of the John Arcudi art
???
They looked like throwaway concepts for the new Doom game.

Here we go.

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What's that, closeup you say?

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uuuh, I'm gonna need some context here, becuase this shit looks hilariously bad

Alice the medium can make ghosts appear out of her guts...or something.

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Also you gotta see it in motion to really "appreciate" it, but the crown looks legit worse than the one in the original movie. It looks like a burning paper prop that's strung up with string between his horns.

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imagine if he was like donald

Also Broom apparently raised Hellboy to be a weapon, not to be a good person and more than his destiny. It's downright offensive how they changed things.

It wouldn't have been that bad if they hadn't done the atrocious cut to the cop.

This almost sounds intentional

@110057809(SOMEFAGGOT)
Bad bait. No (You) for you.

>not even... THE DEVIL HIMSELF
I don't remember the narration being this funny when I watched it. It sounds like the punchline on a panel show.

Imagine Suicide Squad, but worse.

What is with this editing? Why the giant text? Why did King Arthur go into hyperspace for 1 second? Why does Merlin have mud all over his face? Why does Arthur look like he just came from a Ren-Fest? Why does the queen's body fall down in a CGI mess?

This has comedy editing. It's like it's unwilling to take this stuff seriously so the film-editor is making everything feel like a joke.

>Who could have foreseen this?!

You bet correctly.

>What is with this editing?
If you watch the movie, you'll be asking yourself this every 15mins in average. There's these bizarre transitions between scene and scene where you can hear the dialogue of the PREVIOUS scene overlapped onto the next, as if it's still going. And every establishing scene lasts about a few seconds, if you look away you'll miss characters going from a place to another.

She would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for that meddling bitch "The Lady of The Lake" handing him the one sword that could kill her! More like The Whore of the Weir.

Clicking on just one Watch Mojo video will screw up your YouTube algorithm for weeks.

Thank god, it can get Joe Rogan out

Try every 5 minutes

bump

that's not a good idea