Describe yourself with a Spongebob quote

I can do this.
I CAN DO THIS!
*hyperventilating
Is it hot in here Mrs. Puff?!
*Gasp
Why is it so hot in here!

>too bad that didn't kill me

>this is advanced darkness

Too bad that didn't--

Awww...

>I've got diarrhea

Don't worry captain, we'll buff out those scratches

>I wonder if a fall from this height would kill me

i hope that my horrible ugliness dosnt bother you

i second that

>The inner machinations of my mind are an enigma

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did you finish those errands?

>Ah, he is too big for you, isn't he?

I’m ready, depression. I’m ready, depression.

blargen-fezibble-nukhip

...mediocre?

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>you like Krabby Patties dont you Squidward?
I'm a fat fuck.

>The gang's all here!

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"How about this one? I call it Bold and Brash."
"More like, belongs in the trash!"

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Welcome to our club!
Welcome to our club!

You wanna know WHAT I’m feeeelin’?
I’M FEELIN’ LIKE A BARNACLE HEAD,

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Are you a slightly balding and single Gen X guy?

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...

Chum is fum

>it all started...when I was born...

boop boop beep boop boop bop

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*grunts in anger and frustration*

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HOOPLA

I NEED IT!

"I like Money"

The D?

BIG

MEATY

CLAWS

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I'll see you all in therapy.

>It will be like a slumber party, except we'll be all sweaty and covered with grease!

>Maybe I should cook the patties
>and do the dishes
>and wear square pants
>and live in a pineapple
>while YOU wait in the unemployment line!

My coworkers are awful.

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Squidward, you’re steaming! You’re like a steamed vegetable, only smarter!

>I don't think this bubble can get bigger
>Nonsense

Let me guess:

Black
Scatfag
Cutter
Basketball player
Failed your college thesis
Amnesia
Self-conscious of taking Viagra
Party pooper
Audio mixer
Annoying younger sibling
Student debt
Finger edema
Fight Club group therapy

>No employee wants to be a Squidward.

Cancer patient

Let me guess:
Faggot

Nope, just trying to add another layer of humor.
For fuck’s sake, you actually think I was serious about “Fight Club group therapy”?

>"The lights will flicker on and off, but there's nobody there."

Well, if I was a robot, which I’m not, at least I’m well put together.

"Is this the Krusty Krab"

My name is Krusty

Is this Patrick?

No, this is Sandy Cheeks

Sounds uncomfortable.

Learn your characters.

Are you Dirty Dan?

Who you callin’ Dirty?

MY LEG

..... Dan?

Same

"I went to college."

Fuck man

Surprised this wasn't in there

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>Relax. It's just a drawing.

Owns a Yea Forums body pillow

>Once there was an ugly barnacle, he was so ugly that everyone died the end

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holographic meatloaf my favorite haompff haompff

...Future! ...Future! ...Future!

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My moms half deaf so this works pretty well

>Now I'm gonna let go of your lips, and I want you to calmly tell me what you need to tell me.

You've reached the home of unrecognized talent

Too bad that didn't kill me.

>Just you me and this brick wall you built between us

>I'm a dirty boy

>I have got to get my dick sucked!

Been streaming Spongebob season 4 on Shamestation.com for those interested.

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dammit

Well, I've done everything I wanted to do. And it's not even noon.

>Why did you eat my boots, Mr. Krabs?

Excuse me sir, I hope my horrible ugliness won't be a distraction to you

>I WENT TO COLLEGE

I got a degree and everything but I still feel like a dumbfuck

Luckily, [user's] fear of robot overlords keeps the balance of technology in check.

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"MY NAME'S! NOT! RIIIICK!!!"

"Wake me up when I care"

"You're not handsome. You're a hunk!"

"I wonder if a fall from this height is enough to kill me"

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