Gemchan/Diamond-chan 4

I am a real human. Please fuse.

Humans are like Pearls that can't follow orders and are twice as stupid. Humans can't fuse with gems you idiot!

L

Fuck Pink

DAMN! Fusions look like THAT!?

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Look at this abomination and tell me it’s normal.

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How are you gals enjoying Era 3?
I finally saw that 30 gem fusion everyone was talking about walking by.
I was about to get up and immediately report them until I realized that the Diamonds and the Steven are pushing this agenda of gems "being themselves".
And that if I reported the fusion to the Authority they'd just say that it's fine and that they don't control what the gems are supposed to be and do anymore.
We're are own masters or whatever.
So I just let the fusion walk on without consequence.
I felt so horrible.
This would never fly in Era 1, or hell, Era 2.
I wanna go back to how things were.

I don't understand this new era of purposelessness. I've tried staring at the wall, staring at the floor and staring at the ceiling and they haven't felt better. Why did we want this?

I know Pearl. She lived in a richer area of New York at one point. I bumped into her in a sandwich shop. She was shooting the shit with the sandwich maker when I came up to give my order. I got a standard turkey on wheat with mayo and pepper jack. It was something very simple. All the while Pearl was laughing to herself and pointing at me occasionally mumbling, "Is this guy serious?"

I wasn't sure why I guess she was displeased about me ordering or what I ordered. After I got my sandwich I sat down and ate while she just leaved back into the windowed meat display and watched me. When I got up to throw the trash away she stopped me and offered her hand. I was shy because I knew who she was but she introduced herself anyways. When I shook her hand the other hand came out of her pocket holding a tazer which she used on my neck. When I fell to the ground tense I soiled myself. She laughed, "This guy." And started kicking me in the face screaming over and over, "STUPID APE STUPID APE."

I woke up in the hospital next to a vase of broccoli labeled, "From Pearl."

Now every year she shows up to my families Thanksgiving dinner, uninvited, unannounced, and just eats, laughs to herself, and then leaves. Last year she murdered my mother. I fear what hurricane Pearl will bring this year..

I don't know.
I didn't ask for this.
I miss navigating the stars for my Diamond.
Now I just sit around looking at the star map screens.
The Diamonds don't really travel that far anymore so they don't have any use for them anymore.
I'm sad.

Was it that defective Pearl from the Crystal Gems?

i don't know, maybe?
you all look the same
please i don't wanfngjsdfb

>Be me
>Big Quartz soldier
>Used to bet up organics on colonized worlds that were a bit too strong
>Hitting things felt good
>Loved my job
>My superiors were actually nice to me unlike the other gem horror stories
>Steven comes along
>I have nothing left to do
>Wandered to earth
>Picked up pottery
>I keep breaking all of the pots
This era's stupid. Why can't I punch organics anymore?

ARE YOU KIDDING ME!? MOST GOOD GEMS ACTUALLY LOOK RIGHT, SHE'S GONE AND MIMICKED HUMAN CLOTHING LIKE SOME KIND OF CHANGELING ANIMAL!

Uhh, you alright there, user?
Did you die?

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Seven asses

You can kill all the humans you want since you dont got that DNA stuff so they cant even track you.

This is a new era of peace for Homeworld.
We're not allowed to harm organics or conquer their worlds anymore.
And to keep that peace they've dismantled our colonies and our armies.
Which I think is stupid.
What if someone else comes along and tries to attack Homeworld or the "urth"?
Who's gonna defend them when our armies are gone?
You've seen how those Crystal Gems fight, they get kicked every time someone who knows what they're doing crosses their path.
They should at least give combat gems a place to train and keep the armies up in case of an attack.

>You've seen how those Crystal Gems fight, they get kicked every time someone who knows what they're doing crosses their path.
You kidding me? They got destroyed by some hyper Spinel with a grudge against Pink Diamond. Who doesn't at this point?

>just want to join others in appraisal for our glorious shining diamonds
>check the earth communication system
>multiple humans tell me they want our diamonds to step on and/or consume them
i don't understand

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Any quartzes in here? I want to kiss your abs

You gotta make your own purpose. Just sit down and think of what else you can do thats *not* staring at a wall.

the FUCK YOU SAID BOUT MAH DIAMOND BITCH?!?!?!

We're pattern detector gems here at diamond chan. Pearl doesn't eat. Maybe make up better stories next time?

...Don't think about it. Apes don't got reason and so don't really know whaats in their best interests, user.

Can humans pick a diamond to serve or can you tell, is there like a personality test

yes lets do that

Human here, if we can I wanna serve Blue Diamond.

>walk up to Blue Diamond to give her her daily worshiping and appraisals
>she tells me that it is no longer required to worship Diamonds
>what
>tell her that I love and praise her anyway
>she lets a visible frown slip for a split second before smiling again and cheerfully dismissing me with her blessing
D-Did I do something wrong?
Did I upset my Diamond, by giving her appraisal?
It used to be one of her favorite things, and one of my favorite parts of the day.
What happened?

How do I get my own pearl now? This is fucking bullshit

UGH! WHY IS THIS HAPPENING!? I and many other gems are just trying to please our glorious Diamonds, but they keep rejecting us! What's wrong with worshiping your Diamond?! When did that suddenly become a problem!? Why is it a problem!?

Nothing happened. Just don't take things like that so personally.

You don't get your own Pearl.
Gems don't own other gems anymore.
Everyone's their own gem now. No one else's.
Guess I better go see what the other abandoned Pearls are up to.

there is literally nothing wrong with fusing with an organic.

so fuse with me ok!

If so how do you explain what happened with Pink Diamon ?

Pink Diamond was a worse diamond than what she produced

>there is literally nothing wrong with fusing with an organic.
>there are gems who genuinely think this
>when uttering such a thing would've gotten you shattered in era 1
>and our diamonds are totally fine with this
>because of the (((steven)))
Fuck Era 3.

As much as he's fucking up the empire I'd say The Steven is an improvement over Pink Diamond.

This thread is embarrassing

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Just go to a gem slave trader. Good prices, they reset the gem for you, AND they offer a 200 year warranty offering free resets.

Why is it possible to remember who you are after you have been rejuvenated? Who the fuck invented this crap?

*looks around awkwardly*

The word is fucking you clod.

Why do you think they don't use them anymore?

The only ones who even remember them are Era 1 Gems.

because you clean up the memorie and reset all programs, belive that you organicals do something similar with your "computers' calling it formatting or some other "shit"

even a fucking ruby would be seen as an improvment

are you saying I can hack gems?

Well duh.
I hate talking bad about a Diamond in any way but at least the Steven gets things done.
I just wish we wasn't shoving his "galactic peace" dirt everywhere.

No, only the glorious Diamons can

Because our technology didn't anticipate a Steven coming to fuck things up.
All prior tested methods proved delightfully ineffective.

He's like not even a century old yet. Not even a quarter of a century. And he's already doing way more shit than Pink Diamond ever did.

Give him a few centuries and he'll probably shape up into a proper leader.

Perhaps...and I'm just saying this. Maybe someone should attempt to 'poof' this Steven after Rejuventinating them.Maybe reboot us to a prime Gen 1 lifestyle once more?

So you're saying this is just his 'human hormone' years? You genuinely think we won't be stuck with a centuries long Era 3

>be me
>be peridot
>love my job
>era 3 begins
>have no orders
>don’t know what to do
>meet up with other gems, none of us know what to do
>random amethyst says make weapons
>bismuths agree
>peridots agree
>ruby agrees
>entire colony agrees
>start making weapons
>fast foreword 2 years
>we now have more weapons than gems
>we will never stop making weapons
>I am the ultimate weapon master peridot
>I design most of the weapons
>I am a the god of weapons
>would any of you like some weapons

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I still believe in the Empire.

From the perspective of how we viewed him and the Crystal Gems as enemies, he's dealt us an incredibly crushing blow and established himself as one of our leaders extremely quickly.

If he puts that kinda brilliance towards helping the empire then Era 4 might be almost on par with Era 1.

Start Building Robonoids. Us Quartz soldiers may not be allowed to do our jobs, but Robonoids can just be themselves and give us purpose!

But the Steven's mostly an organic.
Organics don't poof.

Pretty big if considering he gave a big message to the empire declaring his intent to fuck off and ignore his duties to dote on his singular colony.

On one hand FUCK Era 3 and FUCK Pink Diamond.

On the other hand if I said any of this in Era 1 or 2 I'd have been shattered so take the good with bad I guess?

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She's saying kill the organic side of him after resetting him so he can't defend himself, but she's too much of a pebble to say it out loud as if we could report her to anyone.

>Hate Era 3 because you can say you hate Era 3
These are strange times for us gems.

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Silly Spindel. They're saying this Era sucks but at least they can say it sucks not because they can say it sucks.

I like that I can tell my former supervisors when they're being clods...,but it sucks that we no longer have a reason to build massive injectors anymore.

>tfw I wish I still had supervisors to report to
I don't know what to do with myself.
I feel directionless.
And I see so much fusion degeneracy that would've gotten an instant shattering in Eras 1 and 2.
It feels jarring to just let it all slide.

You think that's bad? The other day on Little Homeworld I saw a Bismith tell an Aquamarine what to do. A fucking Bismith, what wackjob ass timeline are we in? It feels like yesterday we were being reprimanded for stepping out of line a little bit. I miss it.

The worst part are the fucking rubies. They were so used to same gem fusions to be less useless that the moment they got permission to fuse with anything else they've started fusing with everything. I returned to my resting quarters and rubies had fucking fused into the god damn walls. Degenerates like them should be shattered.

You a Nephrite or an Emerald? If you an Emerald, just hop on one of your ships and explore, dumbass. If you're a Nephrite, just sign up for one of the hundreds of thousands of cargo missions to planets not linked through the primary warp system. It isn't like our infrastructure fell apart.

>a bismuth
>giving an aquamarine orders
>rubies fusing with the CLODDAMN WALL GEMS
That's it.
Where is this Stee-vun now?
I'm gonna shatter him on the spot.
They can't stop me, I'm "being my own gem".

Quartz here. So stuck here dealing with this.

I have considered it for many cycles but I've heard every time a bunch of gems get togeather to shatter the degenerate they end up singing a song and dancing and wind up just like those fusing degenerates.

>fusing
>with an organic
has gargling ape semen cracked your gem, retard?

You think the walls are bad? I'm a Ruby purist and I have to hear about my squadmates talk about which of the floor tiles has the best patterns for fusing into and how nice it feels to be walked on.

Ok
So
Basically
Im smol spinel

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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA! THAT'S HILARIOUS! GOOD ONE SPINEL!

Just make like Pink and find a nice human or something I guess

>rubies wanting to be floor tiles
If I had organs that allowed me to vomit like humans I would vomit right now.

Any of you girls ever had the issue where your superior would call for you but there were a ton of your gems around and you didn't know if they were calling for you or not? I had like ten gem-attacks when the trouble maker in my squadron kept getting into trouble.

Food List Peridot here, I've made some puzzling observations on what humans consider and do not consider to be food.
>"Dog food", despite literally being called food, is not considered food by humans, despite other organics, like their dogs, consuming it as food.
>Similarly, other organic compounds like grass, leaves, and wood aren't food.
>I've noticed some humans eating the keratin at the ends of their fingers, as well as their own dried nasal mucus, though when questioned they seem ashamed of being seen doing so.
>I looked further into humans eating parts of themselves and have discovered "Cannibalism", wherein humans eat the flesh of other humans. When I've asked others whether humans are considered food, though, I'm typically met with derisive laughter or confusion, so my research into the matter remains inconclusive, despite the documentation available.

Mine just used our facet or cuts.

Your superior normally calls your gem name then your facet and cut.
Who the hell's calling only your gem name?

>quartz
>navigating the stars
you were literally fucking guard detail, you weren't "navigating the stars." white help me, these dipshit era 2 gems are gonna be the death of us. at least era 3 has the decency to look for something new to do instead of wallowing in an old, dead system
go join a guard detail or something. not like there aren't plenty of diplomatic missions now that the steven fucked off back to his home planet

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This one of those human meemorps?

Cannibalism is typically seen as primitive and savage. Also human meat is just functionally inferior pork.
Eating nails or nasal fluid is seen as childish, disgusting, and poor manners.

Nephrite.
I guess going on a cargo mission wouldn't be so bad.
I'm sure they could use a navigator.
Thanks, user!

>tfw visited earth and know what this means
keh cuk

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Daily reminder that SU is more popular with males than girls and you're a bunch of dudes pretending to be females online.

no, that's a fact.
Human meemorps are like this
I don't get it

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I guess the Emerald I was assigned to never gave a shit. She never used our facet or cuts once. I forgot mine it was never used. We just called each other by nicknames my entire career.

>s u
>males
what the hell are you talking about?

I was planning on pretending to be a human male and do the Shit was so cash copypasta and I’m trying to motivate myself to edit an image for it but it’s not going so well

Yeah. Emeralds are like that sometimes. Take advantage of it to screw with them until they take time to start figuring out who is who. One advantage of Amethysts, we've never cared about messing with our supervisors as long as we got stuff done

Sapphire talk don’t worry about it

>SU
>males
Are you alright?
Is your gem cracked?
They have healing springs down on Earth, those should fix you right up.

Can't wait the day this happends!
FUCK ERA 3 AND FUCK THE STEVEN

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I see. I have noticed that in most cases where an apparent non-food is consumed, it tends to be the younger organics.

Official ratings

STEVEN UNIVERSE: THE MOVIE
1,572,000 viewers (0.90 M, 0.85 F)

Girls don't like SU

>they're in denial

Official ratings

STEVEN UNIVERSE: THE MOVIE
1,572,000 viewers (0.90 M, 0.85 F)

Girls don't watch steven universe

apparently, "cannibalism" is the human equivalent of harvesting

what? the steven had a movie made about him? figures that little cretin would get a meaningless accolade from his smelly dirt planet.

Oh god they've made a movie of pink shit stain'slife.

I usually lurk these gem boards looking for loose gem pearls to bang, but apart from them inviting a bunch of aylamos to our planet has been nothing but headaches for us.

Hey, y'all in Earth colony, i have a question
Are all humans this ugly?

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Fuck if I know. I can't tell most of them apart.

They just haven’t learned the difference yet
There’s also a condition called pica where humans living lives where they cannot get enough nutrients will often eat non food items.

Yes. They're all that hideous.
Why any gems would want to....fuse...with one is beyond me.

Humans can look pretty varied but they all kind of blend together after a while. It’s better to focus on their personality and behavior or else you’ll just get lost trying to distinguish them

>be Jasper
>i am so buff
>so buff in fact i like to see my exposed torso (its so jacked)
>decide to watch my body full exposed, no armor, no suit.
>i look like what organics call "a beauty"
>feel so good i want to be like this all the time
Am i the only one who feel like this? Am i defect?

I think there are designated areas for humans that feel the same way but if I were you I would do more research

No. You just admire good kindgarden engineering getting it right.

So long as it doesn't affect your productivity this would be fine even in era 1

Please don't hang around organics.
They have a habit of ruining the minds of those around them.
Example 1. the ((Steven))
Example 2. This one Cubic Zirconia who hung around the zoomans too long and then let one shoot its fluids in her face.
Now she goes to the zoo all the time, presumably to get organic fluids shot all over her.
Because this is Era 3 reporting's not going to do anything, but that gem is ruined now.
The zoomans got to her.

If you come live in my house and let me look at you I’ll let you be like that all the time with no complaints
Might have issues walking around outside like that, though.

what a fucking stupid thread
it's like roleplay but with more cancer

people are allowed to have fun sometimes, user.

I think I'm gonna be sick.

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>roleplaying
>cancer
GEM, MOTHERCLODDER, DO YOU SPEAK IT?

go back to f-list for your erp
you can have fun here too when its relevant

You know I’ll be the first to say it
She was pretty hot when she was younger

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>roleplay
>cancer
Are these organic terms?
I don't understand.

I wish I could play my role! But THE STUPID CLODDING DIAMONDS WON'T LET ME! THERE I SAID IT! THE DIAMONDS ARE CLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODS!

samefag

>all those innocent pearls

>those ruby squads

Who is this mad lass?

Oh...
Someone's going to get shattered tonight

Humans keep asking me to post this...hope this is in the right place.

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What is a samefag? I dont speak earth for clod sake

think of her as a lesser human equivalent of a diamond, except the era in which humans have utlilized someone with such a function in her designated area has long since past, so instead they occupy a ceremonial role. That’s “Queen Elizabeth”

>There wont be an Era 4
>Gem production shall cease entirely due to its harm on organic life
>Gems will go extinct on this era of idiots

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Oh that’s DIRTY
I love it

So...on the news of killing the steven. So it appears that apparently Earth is actually sitting up the mother of all degenercy some kind of Geo weapon composed of hundreds of fused shattered gems at it's core.

Apparently it's being contained by a bubble. If we can pop it. It'll shatter their world and he is a human that needs air to survive.

We're really living in a Spinel world, huh?

This is a blue board you fuck. Oh wait no supervisors no fucks given.

>go extinct
we're immortal, numbnuts
besides, i heard about some experimental researching going on. something about a "breeding" program. does anyone know what this means? i didn't get a good look at it before my emerald told me to leave

Oh I wouldn’t do that if I were you

Isn't this the exactly, to-a-tee, the premise of Nier:Automabootyniggers?

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>Fell for the immortals can't go extinct meme
How many people suffer accidental shatterings per year?
Now take that, except apply it to every year from now, forever, and receive no income of new population.
The number of Gems left around will be zero before we know it.

immortal or not. We're going to steadily suffer general empathy. Idiots occasionally shattering each other and the like. Especially since the Steven refuses to heal gems until he's enjoyed his 'happy ever after'.

Honestly at this point why the fuck not. At worst we get to show the degenerates what we think of their fusions

Trying to look into making a “Steven” without consuming the gem but also not just making a human
In other words, trying to modify the biological processes of a human female to birth a gem through shapeshifting

Entropy. Fuck I'm derezzed.

>breeding
That's something the ORGANICS do!
You know, like the zoomans?
It's a thing they do to make more organics.
It's, it's not pretty.
At all.

You know what? Be my guest. Don’t worry, you won’t need a hand with it

What, they just leak fluids into each other. Humans are always leaking fluids all over the place. It's pretty much how they communicate.

Just need to find a peridot to make a big dril machine. I mean sure I'll likely be shattered for this but it'll be better off

Alright, just don’t make her go out on a limb for it.

Just need to find another free radical like myself

Most shatterings occur from planetary invasion; very few have come from mechanical mishap or interpersonal violence. It's like you cracked clods just forgot we've been perfecting our bureaucracy for millennia. There are literally trillions of is across the galaxy operating in the most efficient system possible. Just because the Diamonds aren't at the head of the ship doesn't mean we have no pilots. Emeralds are still emeralds just like Aquamarines, Topals, and Agates. Our hierarchical system was only weakened at the uppermost echelon. Most everything is the same. It would take hundreds of billions of cycles to kill us all, even disregarding alternative methods of gem creation.

Careful she might charge you a arm and a leg

fucking capitalism. Humans are the worst.

>only hundreds of billions
That's practically nothing, user.

She might even give you the...uh...finger?
You’re going to get shattered by a giant angry hand made of hands and pure agony and it’s funny

Fuck yeah you're right!
The Diamonds may not be heading us anymore, but we've still got our systems.
We've still got things to do.
What the fuck am I doing?
I'm a Jasper! I shouldn't be sitting around just because our military's disbanded.
What if something else comes to attack Homeworld? I gotta be ready.
We ALL gotta be ready.
I'm gonna talk to the other Jaspers and see if we can go back to our training regiments.
Can't let ourselves get out of fighting shape!
Thanks, user!

>Be me.
>Be depressed since have literally no purpose.
>Offered to fuse.
>Get forced to fuse with 20 gems.
>Crack my gem trying to flee.
>Currently being liked by the hybird.
Why live.

Why die?

So....why don't we just make our own Empire?

Yeah but it's gonna pop out and break that planet so worth it

Fracking fusebrains. I can't believe something like that's allowed to walk around freely, let alone exist.

Because we're sadly still reliant upon the diamonds

>accepting the offer to fuse
>especially when there's a 20 gem abomination involved
Why on Homeworld would you do such a thing?

It doesn’t want to

life is meaningless and I should just shatter myself. Also I was tricked.

I'm gonna head out to some primitive world with mu crew and build shit, get away from all this for awhile. Any gem want to come? If we haul over enough tech we can be self sufficient and stuff

Don’t gems die from that?

doesn't matter if it wants to materialize or not. It'll be over cooked sure but it'll come out in time

Are you implying a separatist colony?
It sounds like you're implying a separatist colony.

We've only been around as a species for like 11 billion years.

We’re down

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We actually don’t need to make more of us by killing the organics though

What for?

Nah, you gotta make a purpose for yourself.
Look, I'm a Jasper.
The army's been disbanded so they don't have a use for us, right?
So I was just sitting around twiddling my thumbs.
Then after awhile and with some motivation from this thread I decided that I'm gonna restart our training regiment with the other Quartzes.
I've already got a few on board.
This peace isn't gonna last forever, Something's gonna happen.
And when it does, we'll be ready!
You gotta find something that uses your talents.
Don't just sit around like I did.
Find something for yourself!
I believe in you!

And stay away from mixed-gem fusions.
Especially large number ones.

Might as well, this era everyone can do what they want? Well My Emerald wants to rule over a plant with her gems, me included. She said the more coming the better, so let me know if anyone is interested

>all this talk about not getting to kill organics in order to produce more gems
>organics can only survive by killing organics themselves
Sure, they SAY "don't kill organics." But really what they mean is "don't kill MY organics." Just built some Zoos to store samples from the organic planets you kill and don't touch Earth and you're good.

I was violated gemanon by 20 degenerates. I just wanted to be loved. I was told I would be loved. I was lied to and violated.

I think its don't kill smart organics. My Jasper buddy ran down one of those cow things and smashed and ate it, and everyone seemed cool with it after we cleaned up the bits and stuff

If I was roleplaying I don't think I would choose gems at random with every post. Can't speak for everyone though.

You should hire a pearl for a night, I hear they are great at loving one on one, no fusion. They might help you out

Honest question here.
Are you a Pearl?

I'm a Peridot.
I'm good thanks.

Ah. Well then.
I believe has an Emerald that wants to rule over a planet with her gems.
I think they could use an engineer.

I think I might just eradicate everybody who wronged me.

t.Sapphire

AMA about your future.

well there is this gem wanting to do just that.

>AMA
this ain't gemmit

How long till my Pearl slaving business gets busted?

Well considering you posted this all over the Galactinet, probably very soon.

P.S. your GIP is 9294.8182.1828.4221

In 5 months an undercover Red Quartz will come come to you with "business" while disguised as a Ruby and you take the bait.

Good luck I'm behind 9 robonoid proxies, but I'm more curious what they're actually going to do when they catch me. I only got into this because what are they going to do shatter me? As if I'm just being me and they don't shatter anymore.

You the real MVG. I'm sure you can use your future sight to see the dead drop where I'll leave your pay.

Will they eventually force me to fuse with other gems?
I don't wanna fuse!

>Diamond (((Authority)))
Just move literally anywhere else and they can't do anything about it.

But where will I go?
I can't go to Little Homeworld, they'll make me talk to the organics there!

I've been sitting at my old post since the armies have dismantled but no one's asked me to leave.
Am I ever going to find a purpose again?

Who are the worst warrior-class gems and why are they Citrines

More peridots are always welcome, the few we have hang out inventing things all day. Its super cool. They made they amazing personal gem polisher last week that feel so great

I hear they put gem in some kind of zoo for troublemakers now, like you have to sit in a small locked for for a super long time, they don't even let you poof yourself

You're going to continue to post on this site asking if you are ever going to find a purpose instead of finding your purpose.

Actually fuck you, Rubies are dumb as pebbles. i tricked on yesterday into thinking their shoes were traitors

Okay, nobody panic
but metals

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No. You will get shattered as a virgin.

NEED CARNELIAN FOR... FUSION.

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>shattered
The way Era 3's going I wouldn't be mad.
>virgin
What in the name of the Diamonds is a virgin?

How do I find a gem slaver?
t. Definitely not the gem police

Rubies aren't warrior class, you amorphous clod, they're just security guards.

I believe virgins are human statues which secrete human cooling flood out of its eyes.

>rubies
>warriors
They fucking wish.

Hello gems! I want to spread gemstone positivity! Lolz! Let's post pics of our cleavages, don't be uncomfortable, we're all friends here! :)))

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>All those impurities
>Positivity
By the authority, Era 3 was a mistake

Yo, when we getting our government issued pearls?

>Have a flawless gem
>But I’m a Ruby
Win some lose some, I guess.

Nobody tell her

>authority issued pearls
>in era 3
I have bad news for you...

hey

i used the teleporting device from one of our science division warehouses and visited another timeline

do any one the dimensional exploration division know who the hell is this dude?

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You have to steal diamond colonization tech, find a planet, and make your own servant nowadays. Such bullshit.

I always thought the off-color treatment of Era 2 was a tremendous waste of resources. We've been squandering talent and labor for far too long. Let the impure Emerald see what she can do. Put the Citrine-Tourmaline fusion to work planet-building. Let the ideologies of tomorrow all go into the arena of trial. The weak will fall and the strong- the truly strong- will rise.

>Talent
Lmao, a perfect, flawless, gem can do everything a flawed gem can do and more.
Those with flawed gems need fusion just to stand a chance against someone with actual talent.

Hey shut up you pebbles, Rubies are just are important as a Jasper. My Squad leader said they even beat one in an arm wrestle once

>Shitting on rubies
Rubies are and were the backbone of our society. They protect the royals, are the first gems to face our greatest threats, AND are hard workers!

So, uh, I knew a few Rose Quartzes back in Era 1... Is there any word on when the Diamonds intend to free all the Rose Quartzes that got bubbled in era 2?

You really bought into the White propaganda, didn't you. Did you know that Star Sapphires are technically flaws and impurities? They can't be simply gown; they're just Sapphires that came out "wrong", only we don't call it that because they're one of the most precious and spectacular gems out there.

After all, fusion is just a cheap tactic to make weak gems stronger.
I wonder where that perfect-cut Jasper who spoke those words to me is now...

I heard this Steven fused with a whole COLONY of humans before. Anyone else heard this rumor?

They are also fun to slap around and then pin the blame some other Ruby

Peridots are the true underrated gems! WeThey created all of the Empire's technology!

Heard she got that corruption on The Steven's Planet from unsafe fusing

has anyone tried 'eating' yet? How would you rate it?

>Ruby Abuse
I hate that we have to tolerate this now

No, you CONSTRUCTED all the Empire's technology. Some Fluorite probably invented it. Peridots are just Robonoid monkeys.

It's hard, but if you figure out how, Tasting is amazing. Actually eating is meh. I just spit it out.

I love it, Some poor crying Ruby is an easy mark to talk into fusing with, a nice glow and go

So why the fuck did they have to animate steven/greg's junk when pelvic thrusting while fused?

>force-fusing
>with a ruby of all things
The fuck is wrong with you?

Can't judge me pebble, and it isn't force fusing if they ask for it, I want to try and start taking some of their memories with me, start a collection

This is wrong
I don't care if nothing is done I'm reporting you

White and stars almighty, how the ever-loving shit did you survive? I told the Larimar working on that project to tear that one to pieces and flush the code!
Do not go back in. Don't even look at that thing. If the Imperium where to ever discover it's existence, it would doom our race to extinction. I'll send a team of Quartzs, Rubies, and a Red Tourmaline to melt the damn thing. Clear out if you can.

I'm reporting you to the Diamond Authority.
Maybe because you're not really "letting a gem be themselves" and manipulating them into fusion the Diamonds'll actually do something about it.

>Reporting me to people with no power
Lol. Go ahead,

I’m the person who runs my colony. Nobody can force me to do shit anymore thanks to Steven!

Gems, I found a place very much like Gemchan using an Earthling's communications device.

I have learned that nearly 70% of the human populace are offcolors, and that to express distaste for them is seen as wrong.

How do we use this to exploit humanity?

Exploit for what?

>Nobody can force me to do shit anymore thanks to Steven!
CLOD
DAMMIT
FUCK ERA 3!

THSTS IT I'M GONNA FUSE MYSELF

YO DON'T JOKE LIKE THAT

Fuse yourself with what?
Yourself?

Well no I mean this sound wrong. Can we Call The Steven or his Friends and tell them?

Can you swim in lava? We got these mutant freaks swimming around down here.

I think the Steven will understand that someone's being forced into fusion.
That Garnet of his takes fusion very seriously and the Steven will most likely share her sentiments.
They'll probably be on our side in this case.

>Call The Steven
>"Fixed" the empire and then ditched it to go live in the middle of nowhere space
>Expecting him to come because a fusist is running around on a colony he probably doesn't even know by name
That little half-breed clod isn't going to help anybody directly. He probably wouldn't come if someone just started wildly shattering either, he'd ask us to sing a song and make up or something else like that. This is why we need the stars-damned authority to micromanage these things

After the start of Era 3 I don't wanna deal with another organic ever again.

Maybe we aught to track the gem down and shatter it ourselves then? Anyone know a Sapphire that can help?

Earth human here. Every heard of a space creature called Ghidorah, "The One who is Many"?

Wondering if you gems sent it. If you did, then, well it's dead.

We humans have our own guardian, one who is that's stronger and more powerful than just Steven Universe.

He is The One who Restores Balance
He is King of the Monsters
We call him....Gojira.

Also, there's Mothra, Rodan, Behemoth, Scylla, Angilas, FemMuto, Leviathan, Yamato no Orochin, Bunyip, Kong....

Basically there's seventeen of 'em and counting.

So, if you Gems ever invade again, the Titans will rise and defend Earth from your tyranny.

You are aware that is just like a movie right? Like that stupid Dogcopter movie series.

We get earth transmissions and we know you are lying
Don't you have some other organic to slat some of your smelly oil on right now?

>human here
Instantly discarded

What is with this human custom of fantasizing that fictional beings are real? Discussing them like they actually exist.
Human, your fictional creatures are just that, fictional. Stop playing pretend.

Humans do seem to enjoy embibing chemicals that make them hallucinate

Humans ask gems!
Gems ask humans!

Hey do gems have ears? I've seen conflicting reports.

Where can I find some loose Jaspers looking for a good time? I'm a Topaz by the way

so i was trying to find a planet to settle on and suddenly this cunt shows up and a bunch of people come out and start blowing everything up, what gives?

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Hi guys I’m working on a technology that allows you to retain your personality when you fuse with some sap (they, for all intents and purposes, won’t exist anymore!) because I want to feel the power of fusion, but be in control.
I’ll let you guys know when I have completed it.

I don't get it, why didn't they just make a new Pink Diamond? After all that happened, wasn't it obvious the old one was defective?

>wanting to fuse at all
No thanks.

Just use technology. A zero-point projector will give you more power than any silly fusion.

Gems can have ears if they want to. They don't always, but they can.
How long does it normally take humans to regenerate? I know they don't poof, but one attempted to duel with me for something called "Money" a few months ago and when I landed the winning blow, it didn't get back up. Humans certainly seem to shed their physical forms slowly, though.

so i moved to earth thinking all the humans were peaceful and nice but i looked in their history and all theyve ever done is kill eachother. what the fuck? if these apes ever get their hands on some gem tech they could be a problem.

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Era 2 Gem, huh? Anyone in the war can tell you this one. That human's dead. Humans can regenerate cuts and broken bones over a period of weeks and months, but that's about it. Get a human to stop breathing or stop pumping blood and it's like you cut its gem into pieces. Just gotta get a blow center mass or on their head and they're done as dust.

Humans are weak

you know, i feel like this conversation would be a lot more immersive if not for the fact that weve seen two gems get poofed by a stick, one of which was wooden and used by an obese shortstack

>Post gem
>post gem
>pOsT GeM
Fine. You bunch of fracking perverts.

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I want to do the mating with a human, but I hear that you disappear if you allow yourself to be impregnated, but you will leave behind a Steven.... Is it worth it?

They are, but you can't ignore them on a battlefield. They might be easy to knock down and might not be much for lifting, but with a spear they have no problem dispersing a Quartz's form. And then their Crystal Gem support would harvest the Gem.

The galaxy already has problems with one Steven. Please don't make things worse for us.

so what would a gun do to a gem?
asking for a non-human friend.

Don't be absurd. A gem does not simply "get impregnated" with human stock. Pink Diamond user her unique organic-sympathetic powers in order to sustain and transfer a gem into a lifeform within her. I doubt anyone could replicate it. It's certainly not going to happen by accident.

FUCK ERA 3, FUCK PINK DIAMOND, AND FUCK STEVEN UNIVERSE
Me and my fellow ruby squad mates used to fuse for combat roles all the time back in era 2. Our fusion was something special, like the physical manifestation of our camaraderie, or at least that's what I always thought. Now that the army is disbanded and we're all allowed to fuse with whoever we want, all my old buddies have turned into fusion-crazed degenerates who won't even give me the time of day! They'll fuse with some random peridot they met an hour ago, but not with their old buddy who saved their life literally HUNDREDS of times! I swear, the next time I see one of them fused with a non-ruby, I am going to shatter them and then myself.

A "gun"? Like a particle gun? I didn't know humans had those. Well they didn't back then. I'd have to do more research. Back then only range they had were arrows and slings and maybe a few low-grade particle guns stolen from gem tech. They could poof a weaker gem if you got hit by enough of them, but they were mostly an annoyance more than anything.

You can do the mating with human males without getting pregnant. If you do wish to become pregnant, leaving behind a Steven is worth it. Look how the original one turned out. There is peace in the universe. Also, we do not yet know if the original Steven is capable of impregnating a gem without needing to give up her original form to bring a new Steven into existence. A few of the Peridots have a theory about it, but no experiment has been conducted yet.

ADIVINEN QUE, PENDEJAS
APRENDI UN NUEVO IDIOMA HUMANO LLAMADO ESPAÑOL Y ES LA MERA VERGA
DEBERIAMOS HABLAR EN ESTE PINCHE IDIOMA PARA CONFUNDIR AL CARA DE HUEVO DE ESTEBAN

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no, i mean one of these things.
theyre more powerful than any spear or sword so...

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I've never seen one before. How does it work?

Depends on the ammo and how fast it is travelling. Most rifle bullets (7.62 and 5.56) can travel over 2000 m/s...this means they can damage small rock or pierce a sheet of metal a few millimeters thick (Armor piercing bullets can go even deeper and incendiary bullets explode and set shit on fire). So unless you get hit in the gem, you'll just get poofed. But if you do get hit in the gem you'll either get severely cracked or you'll just get shattered upon impact from the bullet.
>t. /k/ommando

The one who calls herself Garnet is so strong and cool. I wish to be like her. How do I obtain this strength?

There are these things humans call "Steroids" and I believe that if you consume enough of them you can get pretty strong.

clod is a slur
please don't use it

Clod

Should we tell her?

This a blue board

BLUE BOARD

The Garnet fusion can only be obtained by a Ruby and a Sapphire, so if you are neither, you're out of luck. Also the ones that make up the Crystal Gem Garnet in particular are in love, so that adds to their power. Perhaps you should try meeting some other Gems, maybe your fusion will be unique and powerful.

so use buckshot to maximize chance of hitting gem, or bring extra ammunition to shoot gem. got it.

also what about the pressure from bullet? :^)

Fracking C L O D

it uses explosives to propel a small, heavy projectile at extremely high speeds. sometimes it can launch many and sometimes it can change its size or speed.

just change your form to be stronger. there's nobody stopping you, especially not in era 3

Get /fit/

Hey, how are we going to make new gems now?

hypothetically speaking, what would happen if you up a large IED in little homeworld? how many inveder- i mean, gems would it shatter?

Attached: IED.jpg (600x422, 58K)

How do I go about propositioning a human male for mating? Do I just ask, or is there more to it? Perhaps a dance?

A explosion alone won't be bad. If you put some shrapnel, you could hope some of that would hit a gem. Then again, Steven just lives a couple of blocks away so he even heal up the damage.

Wait??? Can we fuse with the humans?!?! I've heard it's happened a few times?

I don't want to live in this degenerate, useless, completely "free" era anymore. How do I shatter myself so I don't leave behind any living pieces?

Yes. Please fuse with me.

black holes are your best friends user. i know of one a couple lightyears away from star system 8993

Hmm, propels a soft dense metal with about 700 kpx of force. Yeah, it could poof alright. Wouldn't require much change in design to pinpoint the force so I bet a different variation might be able to shatter a soft Gem.

No. Apparently only Steven can. It's a bummer, right? I wanted to fuse with one of their warriors. Particularly the muscular ones that body slam each other.

Guess it depends how close they are to the explosion. If the explosion is directly on the gem they should shatter instantly. But imo, IEDs would probably serve more as a mass poofer rather than a mass shatter device.

what about a larger explosive? how big would said shrapnel need to be in order to cause fatal damage to the kuffar, i mean gem.

Attached: IEDs.jpg (2724x1518, 3.01M)

IRL, larger IEDs can shatter concrete and tear up armor plating, so i dont think a small rock would have much protection given how most gems just let their actual gem hang out freely.

What's your obsession with primitive human weapons? If you want pointless and random destruction just give a Spinel a mace.

Depends on the gems hardness, if its softer than steel, then shrapnel the size of a dime could probably shatter/crack their gem if it hit the gemstone hard enough. If the gem is harder than steel though, then shrapnel wouldn't be very effective. Just my opinion tho.

oh, im just interested. for a friend. definitely not an attempt to gather information for a certain three letter organization.

The era 2 Peridot has gotten me addicted to this "television" thing. Are there any television shows I should watch?

it depends on what metal it is. anything thats made of iron or steel can certainly shatter most gems, but lesser metals like copper or aluminium might not carry the force as well.

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Ahem.

FUCK OFFCOLORS
FUCK HOMEWORLD
FUCK THE DIAMOND AUTHORITY
FUCK STEVEN

ALWAYS KILL A TRAITOR BEFORE AN ENEMY.

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Someone come get their Spinel please. I think she may need to be reset.

Who're the most centralized gems and why is it Yellow Diamond's Spinel's?

Why are Pearls so sexy? I want to fuse with one.

>tfw I see more and more gems coming into my city
>at least half are fusions
Get out of my state
Get out of my country
Get out of my fucking planet

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...I feel this is the way they were meant to be.

WE ARE NOT SEX OBJECTS!!!!

i can hook you up with an organization that can drive the invaders away. just dont tell anyone about it.

i just saw a human fucking buy a pearl. lmao, even in era 3 you guys are still slaves.

PEARLS ARE NOT LEWD! WE ARE PROUD AND NOBLE GEMS!

>FUCK STEVEN

I want to fuck the Steven, but there is the creature called a Connie constantly in my way. How do I eliminate her without anyone knowing?

yo fuck gemfags.

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Oh by Yellow she sounds so lucky! Where did she sell herself?! Please, I need a new owner now!

>Proud and Noble Gems

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>Covenantfags
Have fun destroying a stupid halo
LOCUSTBROS UNITE

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I’m thinking about having a kid. Honestly I’ve always found us gems to be kinda weak. I mean we have to mine entire planets to make more of us and all humans need to do is “fuck” whatever that means. What should I do?

PEARLS ARE NOBLE GEMS!!! We do not need owners now, sister! The Crystal Gem Pearl taught me this. We can be our own gems, and we definitely do not need to have sexual relations with others if we don't want to!!!

YOU'RE ALL COMPLACENT. YOU'RE ALL TRAITORS. IF I COULD SHATTER YOU ALL I WOULD. I'D BREAK YOUR GEMS AND USE THEM AS TILING FOR MY CHAIR.

I KNOW THE DIAMONDS ARE WATCHING MY FEED. I WANT YOU TO KNOW I DON'T CARE. FOUR MILLION SHATTERINGS AREN'T ENOUGH. I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT FOUR MILLION SHATTERINGS AREN'T ENOUGH. FUCK YOU AND FUCK STEVEN. ALWAYS KILL A TRAITOR BEFORE AN ENEMY. ALWAYS KILL A TRAITOR BEFORE AN ENEMY. ALWAYS KILL A TRAITOR BEFORE AN ENEMY. ALWAYS KILL A TRAITOR BEFORE AN ENEMY. ALWAYS KILL A TRAITOR BEFORE AN ENEMY. ALWAYS KILL A TRAITOR BEFORE AN ENEMY.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

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she looked like she didnt know what was happening. he just poofed her and put her in his pocket.

fuck you faggot, we'll glass your planet and make sure to activate the ring next to your bitch ass "empire"

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Join their group.

>also I'm definitely NOT a Spinel
>but seriously how to kill humans without steven finding out

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Actually, when you consider that organics need to consume a constant stream of H20 and organic matter for the rest of their lives, the life/loss ratio of a gem compared to an organic are actually much cheaper to produce and maintain. After all, when a Gem is out of the ground you could leave her in one spot for six thousand years and she wouldn't move.

We caused mass death of organic life on planets because we used up EVERYTHING there to make new gems. Thousands upon thousands of them!

ill give any quartz $500 if they can manage to capture blue diamonds old pearl.

yeah but now without HW we lost the tech advantage. and humans have scary weapons.

*ahem*
fuck gemfags
fuck covenant fags
fuck locus fags

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But I do need an owner! I've done nothing but sit at the bottom of an earth ocean since I was abandoned! I thought I heard someone ask me to do something but it was just an octopus blubbering past me.

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Why would I wanna “fuck” Steven? Steven is short like a Ruby. I want something tall like a Jasper.

HAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! What are you, some kind of Zircon?! Oh no, the "scary" human has a sling shot that shoots a bunch of metal at you! GIMME A BREAK!

>bottom of the sea

I will ask the Garnet to retrieve you. We have a new city on earth we all live on. No need to lessen yourself, sister. We Pearls all have a social meet up group now.

Go get 'em Krieger, I'm sure rushing a fusion with a shovel will work this time.

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lmao, what the fuck you gonna do? destabilize a human? what about that useless ass scythe? hahahaha imagine being fucking immortal and not knowing how to properly kill someone.

What type of gem are you? The male working at what they call a "Big Doughnut", is attracted to Pearls, but I hear the father of Steven gives the "good dick" as they say.

hello, non organic race. can someone please direct us to the organic-shapeshifter hybrid? we wish to talk with it, and totally not infect it to get its shape shifting powers.

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Too little hair, Steven father is obviously not a ripe human.

>Take fingers
>Ball them into a fist
>Hit a human slightly hard
>Their "skull" is now cracked and they have a "concussion"
>Die an hour later
Wooooooo, the might of the human race. I'm sooooooooo scared.

*autistic screeching in artillery*

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>be gem
>try to run up to human to punch it like a retard
>it shoots you and you poof
lmao, your perfect quartz got poofed by a fucking stick kek.

SEE I KNEW WE NEEDED AN ARMY

Sure and have fun being worm food you stupid organic.

Btw if your dead set on frying yourself a peridot I know said there's one of your holy junk on Earth. If you need to kill the Steven and glass the Earth to access it so be it.

Perhaps try one of the dark skinned ones. I hear their organ tends to be large.

>Be a Peridot
>Super sturdy gem
>Get shot by the stupid organic
>It bounces off your light form.
>Use the metal powers you learned from the earth Peridot to knock the gun out of his hands
>Chew the humans ankles off
>He screams and bleeds to death
>Be smug over your inherent superiority to organics.

>Be me
>Sneaking around and being me
>See 5 gems with their backs turned toward me
>none of them know how to spycheck
>mfw

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imagine being a rock person and trying to be uppity with an empire whos ships literally melt rock.

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>this is what shitdots actually believe
lamo, none of you even know how to use your powers and you think you can stop a gun? im sure a .22 could poof your ass, since apparently a sharp piece of wood will do. day of the grindstone soon.

How do you guys feel about the era three logo? I find it pretty disrespectful to put pink, a diamond who faked her death and started a rebellion on top.

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What a warm human welcome

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>Muh measured metal pieces
Organics truly are the most pathetic creatures in the universe. Even little Pebbles are worth more than a hundred grimy humans! "Oh no, I am dying because I do not have oxygen!" "Oh no, my internal fluids are leaking out of me I cannot go on!" "Oh no, I have not completely my daily ritual of putting organic compound into my face and now I am done for." HA! How pathetic can you get?

>cant even form an argument
>goes into a sputtering rage
ahahahaha. come back when you figured out how to fight against spears. gems are literally lower than niggers.

Just break the spears dude, lmao. Even Ruby could figure it out.

Fuck warmongering Peridots
Fuck dumb specist Rubies
Fuck newly empowered Pearls
Fuck stupid useless Amethysts
Fuck sensitive offcolors
Fuck stuck in the past Agates
Fuck know-it-all Sapphires
FUCK ALL OF YOU!

I found the Lapis Lazuli

then why did your "perfect quartz" not figure that out, lmao. face it, humans have surpassed you in weaponry, and soon, in progress. in a single stroke, the mighty human dragon has spelled the end for the weak and decadent diamond.

Girls, I've been asleep for the past hundred years. I'm a Ruby and some Pearl taught me how to sleep on one of my assignments. And I found a hidden place and tried it out, but I slept for too long. What's going on, why are we in Era 3? What's all this about Pink Diamond being back!? What's a Steven?! I'm so lost!

the humans won.

>be gem
>patrolling compound
>not spychecking
>be me
>spy
>sneaking up and using all 50,000 hours of training and experience
>right behind you
>Right next to you
>Grabdatass.png
>Whispers in your ear
>"Sooprise buttsecks"
>Backstabs, instantly shattering you

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FUCK YOU I'M CHARGING AT EVERY FUSION I SEE

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meant to reply to with

Sapphires in this thread, prove you are not an off-color by predicting the numeral digits signifying the number of your post.
I predict that my post shall end in the numeral of 5.

Six

8

i just want to suck on whites toes
i'm not even a footfag

None of you dumbfucks would ever stand a chance against our mightiest protector, Vilgax!

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We've found several uninhabited stars systems rife for kindergartening, although production hasn't been approved yet. Coordinates are top secret though unless we want another separatist colony on our hands.

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You're a fool.

But I suppose someone has to.

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We can move faster than your hand can move the firearm so you cannot shoot us.

then how did an obese girl manage to poof a gem?

All of your Diamonds together wouldn't stand a chance against Our Lord Vilgax

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Don't you see, sister? Homeworld wasn't just about the Diamonds. Homeworld was about us. We were all a singular well-oiled machine. Countless parts working towards the betterment of the whole. So what do you do if a part of the machine has stopped working?

Simple. You replace it.

your entire species was literally slaves to a bunch of giant MILFs kek

but a diamond beat vilgax

From what I've seen, many of your fellow flesh-sacs wish for the same thing.

Ben Tennyson is a master of alien combat, having had fought dozens of battles as a 10 year old alone.

The Diamonds spend all day moaning about how they miss Pink.

They're really not comparable to Our Lord Vilgax.

>tfw Pink Diamond is your Diamond
>tfw you always knew she was alive
>tfw you believe in Steven

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Who made this?
Better question, why were they allowed to make this?

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I'd call her whatever she liked if she would be my gf

I'm just tired of this fusion thing in general.
It was mostly saved as a powerup against opponents, so not something you saw often.
Now everyone's trying to fuse with everyone, and it's sickening how careless gems have become with it.
Everywhere I got there's multiple fusions just running around without a care in the world.
And on my way to give my Yellow Diamond her daily worshiping I saw this one 30 gem fusion talking with her.
Yellow was obviously disturbed by it, but still tried to be polite and keep a pleasant face.
Then the abomination had the gall, the nerve to ask my Diamond to fuse with it!
I couldn't believe it!
Neither could my Diamond, as she was beyond shocked and repulsed.
But she quickly put a smile back on her face and politely told it no.
As soon as the ghastly thing walked off My Diamond clenched her fist and frowned.
I could tell she wanted to shatter than monstrosity on the spot, but because we're in Era 3, the Era of letting gems "be themselves", she couldn't and could only turn it a way and let things slide.
None of this would ever happen in Eras 1 or 2.

>wanting to fuse with organics
That's it!
I'm tired of Era 3.
Everyone's gone crazy!
I think I'm gonna fly into the nearest black hole right now.
See you clods never!

>FUCK THE DIAMOND AUTHORITY
As much as it pains me to speak ill of the Diamonds I can't help but share the sentiment.
The ((Stee-vhen)) has made them delirious and convinced them to let all this degeneracy and purposelessness run amok.
Oh how I long for Era 1, where gems had purpose! Direction! Someone to report to in case things got out of line!
I wish it was possible to reset EVERYONE back to how the Diamonds made them.
Then it'd be like none of this Era 3 mess ever happened!

A reminder that a SPINEL is sitting in pink diamonds throne while you post on this thread

You're fucking servants and glorified trophies.
Don't hang out with those fucking Crystal Clods.
They'll make you stupid.

A perfectly cut Spinel.
Better than some line of organics The Steven decided to put there.

HELLO FELLOW ROCKS

Steven's considered the new Pink Diamond, even if he is half ((organic)).