GI Joe

Because no one other than Larry Hama knows what the fuck to do with them. Anytime they've tried to revive it this century it's been either transparently insincere or they've gone out of their way to avoid the patriotic pro-American aspects of it. Nobody wants that.

Good but much of it will be lost on you if you don't know the lore of both the series.

Something something patriotism is dead something masses hate the military yada yada liberals.

What I want to talk about is a very special lady we've all forgotten and needs some love; The Baroness. Also if anyone has a MEGA to the original GI Joe series, that'd be great

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9/11 showed american people that terrorists arent silly dorks who can be laughably beaten

One problem stems from trying to duplicate the success of the Transformers movies

they might have sold rights for other countries or media

War is no longer cool.

>make enough money
No such thing.

A concept I always fancied was one that involved an idealistic young american joining Cobra in order to combat a decaying society. Only to become disillusioned when in the jungles of Sierra Gordo (in a proxy conflict against the US) he discovers that he surrounded by the same individulist reprobates that the Commander rails against. Dreadnoks are just drug-addled hoodlums who rape/pillage the locals and so on.

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Hasbro has finite resources and employees, and they're all concentrated on more profitable brands. If Transformers stops being profitable, or they lose the licenses for Marvel and Star Wars, they could look to other things they own, like GI Joe, but right now they have no need to. They'll probably try to relaunch the toys to tie in with the Snake Eyes movie, if it really happens.

Sitterson's book, and the upcoming #Resist series should be enough for people to re-evaluate earlier non-Hama runs like the Devil's Due series, or the earlier IDW Joe, because whatever their flaws, things could clearly have been a lot worse.

>What I want to talk about is a very special lady we've all forgotten and needs some love; The Baroness.

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Because war shit is historically not popular when there are wars going on.

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TakaraTomy owns Transformers in Japan, but Hasbro owns it for the rest of the world. Also, Hasbro came up with the IP of Transformers, which means they own all the characters. That’s how the deal of “TakaraTomy will no longer make mass-market Transformers toys, and will import from Hasbro” came about.

Huh, I was talking about this last week and I think we even came up with an approach for them that could work, I gotta see if I read that chat again.

But yeah, needs to be cheesy, use a rotating cast of sorts and definitely not go overly militaristic.

Because Hasbro are idiots who can’t keep up with trends.

Reviving Gi Joe should be easy as fuck now.

1. Forget about military. Make Gi Joe a group of people with special skills that defend the world against various threats. Forget about Cobra at the beginning. Do the same as Mission Impossible or Fast and Furious, a small cast who goes on global adventures, no military, no real american heroes, no nothing.

2. Create a bible with designs and stories SET IN STONE.

3. Using that bible invest heavily into a free to play mobile/ maybe pc shooter.

4. At the same time, keeping stories and character designs in line, produce a movie and tv show.

5. If feeling cocky, using the same bible, keeping the story and character designs in line, produce a FREE online comic. No political bullshit, just adventures. Have it available on mobile phones.

6. Create a new toyline.

7. Release everything within 1 year, months apart. Gi Joe game, movie, toys and comics. Full media blitz.

8. Success.

It was great in terms of winning the crowd back after the Sitterson shitshow and Chris Ryall breaking the spirit and soul of invincible tiger Larry Hama.

Problem is that the Dreadnocks are dumbed down kiddie versions of what a biker gang is.

They don't do drugs and instead of liquor, they consume huge quantities of grape pop, which was so fucking over the top that Devil's Due had to rationalize such non-biker behavior by claiming that the Dreadnocks owned the gape soda company that they drink instead of liquor to explain why bad ass bikers don't drink beer.

GI Joe is an INCREDIBLY easy franchise to sell. The only reason why it hasn't is mismanagement both in film and comics.

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Problem is you can't get rid of Cobra. PERIOD.

Cobra's too fucking popular and iconic and more to the point, Cobra's toys tend to outsell GI Joe toys due to army building and Cobra having all of the cool vehicles people like.

Ironically, it's kind of shocking that Hasbro hasn't tried to just do a Cobra spin-off deal. The basic core of Cobra could carry a show/toy line: Cobra Commander, Billy, Storm Shadow as a quasi Dr Venture/Hank-Dean Venture/Brock Samson deal, Destro and Baroness as CC's friends and Billy's god-parents, and the Cobra Troopers/Vipers as CC's employees who Billy has interaction with as the help and showing Cobra from the grunt POV.

Problem with Cobra, is that at the end of the day, it's a terrorist group and crap like ISIS and Al Quada makes selling a terrorist group, even an all white one with BDSM themes and tons of gay subtext, won't fly. Even if you go out of the way to say it's more like SPECTRE.

COBRA is the only reason to watch the show. They're infinitely more interesting, and have likable characters
>Cobra Commander
>Destro
>Baroness
>Firefly
>Zartan
>Storm Shadow
They are THE evil organization of cartoons/comics. God damn they have Weather Dominators and a ninja army! How can you not love that? Furthermore all the Joes had was Snake Eyes

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Oh that's a load of horseshit. ISIS didn't ruin terrorist organizations for all fiction. MCU faggots love the hell out of HAIL HYDRA

There are always wars going on.

>crowd back after the Sitterson
That series started came out in 2014 you fucking outrage baiting faggot.

If the issue is one of GI Joe being "too political" or whatnot due to being military, why not change what GI Joe is?

Cobra, for example, for all intents and purposes, is a supervillain organization rather than a "terrorist" one. Look at the shit they have. They're more like Hydra or AIM than anything else

So why not repackage "GI Joe" as a something more akin to SHIELD and resell the show as a superhero, or international espionage kind of series?

Instead of Duke being an 80s style military commander, make him a Captain America or Nick Fury.

You don’t get rid of Cobra, just do a reverse avengers. Have the enemy first be destro, then tomax-xamot, then baroness, then dreadnoks and so on. At the end of each “arc” (be it a couple episodes of the show), have cobra commander recruit them for his organization. The big finale for the first season or movie is full joe vs cobra.

Also stop calling cobra a terrorist organization. Have it be like hydra or specter or something, just an evil organization.

Again, forget the military/ terrorist angle. Reinvent joe, as it was reinvented in the 80’s.

This dude has the right idea.

Instead of recruiting, why not drop hints and build to a slow reveal of Cobra.
Like, with your idea, let's say Destro has a subtle Cobra insignia on his uniform, but don't go further than that.
Then when Tomax and Xamot show up, they have the same thing, and have a character expressly point it out and wonder about it.
Then maybe with Baroness, they intercept a communication and the name "Cobra" is deciphered from the message.
Make it a big mystery to figure what Cobra is

You don't want to go the subtly route with COBRA. It kind of kills the fun of the entire concept. Sure you can have sects of COBRA be hidden, kind of like how the twins fund all of their activity with shell corporations, but most of it should be up front in what they are. Cobra Commander WANTS to be seen, feared, and to inspire like minded impressionable future soldiers.

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>Cobra Commander WANTS to be seen
>Hides his face

Then tell me why does he wear the mask?

Because kids don't pretend to be soldiers shooting at each other with toy guns anymore, and you can't mass market an evil group of terrorists or anything with war anymore.

Tomy(AKA Takara) only owns the original toy designs. They joint own with Hasbro the characters, concepts, and any toy designs made after 1985.

Cuz he's nasty under there.

It takes a strong stomach to watch him eat, eh Destro?

How about we give it to Ennis?

It's symbolic. The mirrored face is meant to represent a perversion of the American Dream. You stare at him, and all you see is yourself staring right back. We're talking about a man who started out as a used car salesman and became one of the most powerful and terrifying terrorist organizations on the planet.

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So bring back GI Joe by removing everything that makes it GI Joe?

>2. Create a bible with designs and stories SET IN STONE.
>3. Using that bible invest heavily into a free to play mobile/ maybe pc shooter.
>4. At the same time, keeping stories and character designs in line, produce a movie and tv show.

Didn't work with Transformers, doubt it'll work with Joe.

Because Pic Related exists and no one cares about your dumb 80’s toys outside a small group of sad adults.

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Because he's a fucked up snake person.

If you want to bring back GI Joe you have to lean into both the weird and the mil-sim. Tom Clancy X Lovecraft.

It was one of the best comics I ever read and I read a lot of comics.

Now I'm intrigued.

I wonder how much of this is due to the movies

Based and kinopilled

GI Joe was the product of a VERY specific era, when Rambo cartoons were aired and people didn't think Red Dawn was one of the most retarded movies ever made. It required a very particular willingness to embrace the military as nearly flawless, something safe for kids to play with, no especially bloody US wars going on at the time, and the easy us-vs-those-soviets mentality of the 80s.

It's just so wrapped up in a particular sociopolitical climate there's no going back to it.

Plus the movies sucked. Baroness with no glasses that's secretly a good guy deep down? Every person involved should have been stabbed in the foot on the first day of filming.

It wouldn't be the first time the franchise was reset to appeal to new audiences user
Remember, Real American Hero is a retool of the Joe Adventure Team, which is itself a retool of the original military version. And that first retool was in response to the backlash against Vietnam
Rise of Cobra was probably the nail in the coffin, it was legit fucking bad. The casting, the effects, even the costuming were all half-assed. Sienna Miller made a smoldering Baroness but she didn't even try the Natasha accent

Because you can't put child characters in G.I.Joe. War is for adults.

Name a cartoon for kids that exists that doesn't primarily feature child or teenage characters. They don't exist anymore. At least with Transformers, you can tag them along with annoying child surrogate characters. Can't do that with G.I. Joe. So, G.I. Joe will continue to be dead.

Glorification of the military is a boomer thing

Too masculine and violent for children in current era. It needs to either be reworked into a gun-free spy or superhero thing to be child-friendly, or just give up on that and be an army vs terrorists franchise for adults.

Same reason why there's currently no Batman cartoon on TV now. Because execs hate adult characters in cartoons.

Nothing wrong with taking pride in military might
See this is the problem; a generation of oversensitive pussies

We used to live in a time where we actually wanted peace you know.

>At least with Transformers, you can tag them along with annoying child surrogate characters

Gotta give Cyberverse credit for dropping that.

What’d you think of Retaliation?

The modern day version of the GI Joe franchise, the one essentially created by Larry Hama, is basically just Captain America with character names/designs altered, is it not?

Cobra Commander is Zemo
Baroness is Viper
Scarlett is Black Widow
Destro is Red Skull
Mindbender is Strucker
Colton is Fury
Etc, etc.

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Probably because it has really poor international appeal, unlike almost every other Hasbro property which tends to do quite well worldwide.

Technically its Nick Fury and his Screaming Eagles, since thats the pitch Hama retooled into Joe.

>How about we give it to Ennis?

>FUCKING FUCKITTY FUCKING FUCK SHIT ASS COCKSUCKING FUCK
>dude edgy violence LMAO

No

>Then tell me why does he wear the mask?
Unironically, nobody cared who he was until he put on the mask.

This

>Calarts GiJoe

Hasbro keeps hiring people who hate gi joe to design and write it

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I like that interpretation for the mirrored visor, but what about the other designs like the hood?

Or he would handle it like Punisher and Fury. Not like anyone else you can suggest besides Hama.

this was the response I was looking for

Based

Ew!

Resolute was great and so was Renegades

>GI Joe was the product of a VERY specific era, when Rambo cartoons were aired and people didn't think Red Dawn was one of the most retarded movies ever made. It required a very particular willingness to embrace the military as nearly flawless, something safe for kids to play with, no especially bloody US wars going on at the time, and the easy us-vs-those-soviets mentality of the 80s.

>It's just so wrapped up in a particular sociopolitical climate there's no going back to it.

That's a spot on analysis. The 80's were a boom of over the top patriotism. Hulk Hogan brought the flag to the ring and fought Russians and Arabs. Reagan was seen as the most amazing President ever.
GI Joe was a giant. We may never see a time like that ever again.

Even Hama doesn't know what to do with them and has been ad-libbing every issue for as long as he's been on them.

The irony is that what just said was the original pitch that Larry Hama made to Marvel that got turned into 80s GI Joe. It was supposed to a unit led by Nick Fury's first son, Mikel Fury

Its true. He once said he barely thinks ahead more than three pages or so.

The original comics never had cobra be silly dorks.

Depends on the arc, really. Sometimes COBRA can be exceptionally bad-ass, other times just barely a step above their dopey cartoon counterparts in terms of competence.

This. The issue where the Joes and Cobra are both hunting for Baroness and Bludd in the Alps is very silly and character motivations seem to jump erratically from page to page.

The realistic gun designs in a kids franchise probably scared off modern advertisers even if they never hit people and made laser sounds in the cartoons. The terrorist organization being campy villains thing lost a lot of its appeal after 9/11.

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What about Brubaker?

Thought he's a used car salesman.

Well to begin with:
1. Horrible modern storylines don’t help.
2. Not ending a mildly successful reboot didn’t help either.
3. Movies bombed because they didn’t inow what to do. Not even the Rock saved it and he sells shit.
4. Not branding it as Overwatch level tech already.
5. Not licensing it as videogame.

Hey now..the Rock can sell. Have you seen his matches?

Didn't work because the morons they hired ignored the bible. The problem is really that Hasbro wants a property made for them, but has nothing in-house to make sure a property is done right. They outsource everything because they have no in-house creative teams/show producers/comic creators/etc. Marvel made pretty much every damn thing anyone remembers about GI Joe/Transformers, for example.

>anyone caring about that shit

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>5. Not licensing it as videogame.

Rise of Cobra had a licensed game. It was fucking awful.

Because the military is no longer the good guys, so people don't feel comfortable watching a show that portrays them as the good guys 100% of the time just because.

Imagine Battlefield, but with the fucking Buzz Boar instead of bikes or jeeps, the Mean Dog, the Snowcat, the fucking Rolling Thunder instead of a tank. Now give it cel shaded graphics to look like a cartoon show, and let people customize their own Vipers and Joes and shit. You can't tell me that wouldn't make some fucking money. As long as it's a good FPS, it'll make loadsamone.

>the fucking Buzz Boar instead of bikes or jeeps, the Mean Dog, the Snowcat, the fucking Rolling Thunder instead of a tank

Nigger, what. Awful choices, there are several much better vehicles that are also much more iconic.

I mean, the Buzz Board? Who gives a fuck?

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>thinking modern day little shits and dudebros wouldn't crap their pants in excitement over riding a fucking buzzsaw with lasers through a battlefield running people over

because there's no good cobra like threats in the world anymore.

U.S. became Cobra

Nobody in their right mind would give a fuck about this retarded thing. If you put it in a game, a dudebro would say "man, fucking gay".

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plus lasers

not him but
>Duke has a terrible skeleton in his closet-
no

Actually, I'd say the problem is that we actually witnessed a Cobra-like organization rising, and it wasn't fun at all. It's like when Jamie Lee Curtis was asked why there was never a True Lies 2, and her answer was that the sequel almost happened, but 9/11 hit and suddendly there nothing fun about islamic terrorists anymore.

Cartoons are sold internationally to make money and the last thing foreigners want is a cartoon about the US military.

Forgot mah pic

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James Cameron said the same thing. "Terrorism isn't funny anymore".

>military is viewed negatively by the American public
>pro-Americanism and patriotism is viewed badly as well
>The rest of the world doesn't care about a property that's very pro-American
>Hasbro decided then that they needed media, such as a movie before they could revive GI Joe.

You can't assassinate someone if you don't know what they really look like. That was the point of his mask in the comics anyway. At one point it was made out in the books that he had the same face as certain Crimson Guards, who all had their faces surgically altered and were given the name "Fred," essentially making them like a small army of body doubles.

>that storyline in IDW RAH where Cobra activates a million Crimson Guardsman sleeper agents throughout America
>uses their influence to essentially enact martial law wifh CC at the helm via shell companies
>this all gets cut short to push more ninja shit with Snake Eyes

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In the Marvel Comics, it was due to a combination of things:

1. The inciting event that caused CC to break bad was when he found out his wife was going to file for divorce and use his mental breakdown after his brother's death/failed used car dealership, to sue for sole custody of their son Billy. CC basically responded to this by grabbing Billy, telling him that his mom had died in a freak accident, and then running for the hills. As such, CC began wearing a hood over his face in public, to avoid arrest as his wife went to the police and filed kidnapping charges against him.

2. Cobra was funded in the early days by way of Amway type door to door selling of household products/cleaning supplies that operated as a cult-like organization that funded Cobra's in the early days (before CC met Baroness and she used her family fortune to make Cobra a global terror group). Hence him wearing a mask, so none of the rank and file folks could narc on him.

Devil's Due added to this, retconning an extra event to CC's backstory: in the retcon, CC's brother's descent into alcoholism wasn't due to serving in Vietnam but due to the fact that he ran a home for vets that got burnt down by one of the residents who went crazy and tried to kill everyone at the group home via setting fire to it. An asshole cop blamed CC's brother for the fire, claiming it was arson for profit and while he was able to clear his name, the trial and scandal destroyed CC's brother mentally and drove him to drink and to kill himself via murder-suicide running into a random car killing himself and the passengers (who were Snake Eye's family).

CC blamed the asshole cop for ruining his brother's life/killing him and murdered him in cold blood. He then confessed what he did to his wife, but she rejected him and begged him to turn himself in and CC responded by grabbing Billy and fleeing town. Hence him wearing the mask, as he was wanted for murdering a cop.

No; it's basically a "Son of Nick Fury" thing with Hawk=Nick Fury Jr and Baroness=Viper.

CC was created explicitly for GI Joe and Destro was entirely Hasbro's doing with Hama coming up with the backstory for him.

Reminder that Cobra did nothing wrong.

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That got squandered even harder than GIJoe

>3. Movies bombed because they didn’t inow what to do. Not even the Rock saved it and he sells shit.
Depends how big a hit they were expecting them to be. The can't have expected them to make the same money as Transformers. Rise of Cobra wasn't a huge hit, but made a profit, while Retaliation made more money on a much smaller budget, it did well enough to get a sequel greenlit immediately, but it spent years in development because they wanted to use it to launch a "Hasbro Universe", and seem to have finally dropped that idea and now they're rebooting instead.

Like any popular game, it'll get a few sequels, but people will have moved on to some new fad by the time of the 3rd or 4th one. That one girl people like as a waifu will continue to appear in fan-art and get cosplayed, and that will be all anyone cares about.

>Nothing wrong with taking pride in military might
Only evil countries take pride in their military and parade them through the streets, user. Good and free countries parade their homosexuals through the streets instead and take pride in them.

1. GI Joe is worldwide, a team of mercenaries and freedom fighters.
2. Cobra is a corporation. literally Rockstar.

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Honestly cop and fireman parades make lots more sense.

Reading that sentence, it reads like a bad joke. Fucking hilarious