AH...ha..ha..ha..ha..HaaaaAAAAA

>Girl enthusiastically tells about her pet guinea pig
>Ask "How long did it live with you?"
>She answers: "Oh, nine years already!"
>Say: "Oh, it's gonna die soon, they usually live 8 to 9 years"
>*laughter stops*
WAKE ME UP INSIDE

>Next week, she comes to me crying
>Her guinea pig died
>I'm at fault for "jinxing it"
(CAN'T WAKE UP)

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>Reports from the set of the upcoming film "Suicide Squad" reported that Leto would smoke cigarettes in the non-smoking area of the studio. When one of the cameramen told Leto to go outside Leto told him in a sinister voice "Would you speak this way with the actual Joker?" The cameraman was so shaken by the incident he avoided Leto at all costs during the remainder of production

>sources confirm that at the craft services table Leto, dressed in his Joker costume took a roll from a plate and began to eat it. One of the film's camera men reportedly said, "Ain't you gonna put butter on that sucker?" Leto looked straight into the camera man's eyes and said quietly, "No, I don't like butter on my rolls". The camera man immediately collapsed to the floor where he fell into a catatonic state. He was rushed to the nearest hospital.

Didn't he also do something with Jay Courtney's phone?

lmfao
in reality though the camera man thought "jesus, what a pretencious little faggot" and then went about his day

>according to Margot Robbie, after the shooting of their first scene together, which took place in the car also shown in one of the teasers, Leto didn't let her out of the car and kept laughing when she tried to get out. After she told Leto to stop joking around, he reportedly told her that "Jared is not here anymore, you are locked in with the Joker, Harley baby" in his usual Joker voice, followed by a notably lengthy laughing fit. By the time Robbie was rescued from the car by the rest of the crew, she was in tears. Following Leto's episode, Robbie had her bodyguards on set at all times for fear of another incident.

>Have to walk some twenty length to the right to the "official" entry into the supermarket
>Walk through an empty cashier's desk line instead
MOM'S GONNA FREAK

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What evil lurks within the hearts of men

The Shadow knows!

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>During one take, Leto reportedly walked up to Director David Ayer while the camera was rolling. Only stopping when he was mere inches from Ayer's faceto say "David. I Hope It Doesn't Take For Me To Die For You To See What I Do For You" in barely more than a whisper, before slowly walking off set.

Ayer is reportedly seeking counseling for PTSD after finding copious amounts of blood dripping from Jared's trailer, only to find it was fake after breaking down the door in an attempt to save Leto's life.

>During lunch the cast had gathered to a table to eat
>They all assumed they were safe because Leto wasn't even supposed to be on set that day
>according to reports Will Smith went to add salt to his lunch but then immediately stood up and yelled out loud enough for the whole set to hear "What the?! THIS IS SUGAR!"
>Studio security was unable to place the blame on Leto as someone had placed sticky notes with smiley faces over any cameras in the area
>It took the director a full three days to convince Smith not to file for a restraining order
>Therapists were brought to the studio to provide counseling for many of the people affected by the incident.

>crew members reported to Ayer that for the past few days Leto had been "up to something disturbing" in his trailer. Upon further investigation, Ayer found that the former frontman for Thirty Seconds to Mars was erecting lego dioramas of various setpieces from the movie, complete with burned and melted miniature versions of his fellow cast members. Even more disturbing, Ayer discovered Leto had actually been using a combination of legos and megabloks to accomplish the task.

>"I picked up one of the skyscrapers and right away I knew something was off about this one. Something wasn't right. Then I saw the megablox logo on one of the pieces and time just kind of...((Ayer pauses to takes a deep breath))...stopped."

>"I tried to put it back because, you know, I sure as hell didn't want the Joke-, uh, Jared knowing that I had gone through his trailer and what not. So I put it right back where it had been and pushed down...and nothing happened. The blocks for the tower wouldn't lock on to the base. He had been building with completely incompatible pieces, and they were all just kind of *sitting there*, freeform. It was absolute chaos. I can't remember the last time something shook me like that...I don't think anything ever has."

>Scott Eastwood, who plays a military man in the film, hints that the Oscar winner may have gone all method for his work in the superhero villain flick.
>"I was sort of afraid to approach him because I didn't want to mess with his thing going on," Eastwood told E! News exclusively yesterday at the Maui Film Festival, where he was honored with the Rising Star Award. "But I knew him before. I met him before he was The Joker. I just met him as Jared Leto."

Any time someone tells a joke involving death:
>My brother died that way.
Just to be a dick.

MADMAN!!!!

>Go to convenience store
>look cashier in the eye as I pay for my purchase but I'm one penny short
>Take one penny from the take a penny, leave a penny tray
>Take my bag and before I turn to leave
>I put two pennies into the tray
>I could hear him screaming the entire time I walked to my bike

imagine being clint eastwood and then having a gay son

>Some guy derails thread with random pictures of women
>Some lusty user: "What's her name?"
>Immediately reply with >her
SOMEBODY STOP ME

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DA JOKAH BABY

Someone approved this design

It'd be funnier if he farted in the car, and also refused to lower the windows.

>Not even nearby businesses were safe from Leto's Joker escapades. Local Blockbuster manager Keith Larson reported to TMZ that Leto caused havoc while in full Joker regalia in a recent visit to the store. "We caught him misplacing the promotional box art and when we asked him to stop he responded that he would only when we stop 'mixing up the minds of the people'" Leto reportedly rented several VHS tapes including Nicolas Cage's "Birdy" and "Dude Where's my Car" from the store only to return them a day late and un-rewound. "It's a minor inconvenience for all us here at Blockbuster" Larson said "although Leto was the first person to rent those VHS tapes in at least 8 years, it's company policy that we rewind them in case someone else ever does rent them." When called for comment Leto answered in a fake Indian accent insisting he worked for Xbox Live Technical support.

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>need to mow the grass
>don't mow the right side of the yard where no one can really see it anyway
LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR

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What if cameras were guns? Would you buy a mass murderer?

Lights. Camera. Insanity.

SOCIETY IS NOT PERFECT

hehehehehehehehehehehehe

HAHAHAHA *WHEEZE* HAHAHAHAQHAHAHAHAHA
Society

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if he ended the joke halfway through it could have been almost funny

>press the handicap button on the door at my local mall so it opens it for me, even though it takes longer than it would if I had just opened normally
SOCIETY IS SICK AND I AM THE CURE

What a try hard

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>tell people on Yea Forums to have sex
>never had sex myself

SOMEBODY STOP ME!

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>post anything
>reply with "based"
>reply to that post with "cringe"
>reply to that post with "have sex"
>reply to that post with "dilate"
BECAUSE IM BROKEN WHEN IM OPEN

>Ayer later admitted that roughly 50 hours of footage was filmed of Leto's performance as the Joker, with barely 1% of this making the final cut. 'We just had reels and reels of it,' the director said, 'I would say cut, but he would just keep going deeper and darker, bringing all of these ideas into it that weren't in the script. For example, a sub plot of the Joker’s father being an SS officer, or the idea that the Joker transformation represented Nietzsche's Ubermensch. So after I while, I stopped saying 'cut'.' Other actors recalled Leto's usage of multiple props to aid his performance that he brought himself, presumably from his own home. 'He had this large green dildo he loved to wave about,' Will Smith remembers, 'sometimes he would bring it out of nowhere and slap me across the face with it. During fight scenes when we were grappling on the ground he would tease it around my 'beautiful asshole', as he called it.' Jai Courtney also recalled him having 'this large, antique bullwhip... we asked where he got it from, and he would only say that it was a family heirloom. Some prop guys on set said it must have been from at least the 1800s. On a few occasions when I fucked up my lines, he would threaten me with it, telling me to give him an excuse 'to pay out like old Buck Leto did to the little negro boys'. Another actor from the film, who requested she remained private, said Leto always had a copy of the Quran lying around on set, and some PAs caught him 'poring over it repeatedly' in his trailer.

no fucking way scott is gay