ITT: We pretend we're Irkens

How can a species be so tall, yet be so dumb?

So does that mean the smallest are the smartest, most intelligent beings of that planet?

That's preposterous and you should feel bad.

Remember that one guy who was sent to planet Blorch? Scrooge? Skood? Scool? I wonder what happend to that fatso

>small
>intelligent
choose one

you'd think that with how impotent snacks are to Irkens being the guy who makes them would be a high honor

Zim's a FAGET

>no matter what happens you will at least never be zim
feels good

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Irklets, when will they learn?

>Bob gets to hang out with the Tallest ALL THE TIME and serve as their exclusive snack table
>The little faggot won't stop bitching about it anyway

I hope he died when he fell off the bridge. I'm stuck on FoodCourtia serving food to Irklets. I would kill for a chance to serve snacks to the Tallest instead.

This is a reminder; please do not attempt to use the torture devices on deck farg to increase your own height. They are for prisoners and team building exercises only, not cheap methods to grow an inch. We will no longer be reattaching limbs if this continues

SHORTFAGS GET OUT REEEEE

>ywn be the tallest’s personal table
why even live?

Can anyone else believe the tallest actually fucking indulge that mother fucker who escaped exile in foodcourtia? God what a faggot.

Anyone else here miss Tallest Miyuki?

Nah, that would be like saying we should respect the vortians just because they develop our tech. Whoever takes the snacks are the real power, user.

Nice numbers, also yeah, Tallest Miyuki was based.

Got stuck in the great foodening so I wont be out in 20 years. Any good places to try to pass the time?

atleast he's not as bad as the Diamond Colony from the 12th Quadrent, those Cucks got overthrown by a HYOO-MAN

Dude, you gotta check out Gaggleflex's Shack of Snacks! Man makes a mean shnargglepuss let me tell ya. So glad we enslaved his people as food... maker... things...

We're all irklets, dumbass.

What's the deal with the purple eyed manager of Shloogorgh's Flavor Monster? He's so tall, yet he's stuck on Foodcourtia?

He's the Frymaster you smeet-brain fool!
You don't get to be the Master of Frying if you can't command your legion of fryers effectively.

I can't believe that smeetlet was allowed to live in the first place. The crayola twins send him off to god knows where in the corner of space and hes STILL been causing us trouble. Retards.

For real though, why wasn't that short faggot ever executed?

Shnargglepusses are disgusting, way too flavorless. It's all about those Florkulshucks.

Wait why are we taking over the planets we’re about to smash into? Wouldn’t it make more sense for those to be the only planets we don’t take over?

How long before the rest of the boards belong to the Irken Empire?

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Because the Tallest are fucking morons, that’s why. When’s Zim gonna kill these ones, too?

The Tallest were intimidated by his High Irken Vitality and reassigned him to a far-off cosmopolitan planet where nobody would ask questions.

You'd think that, but then you remember he's the only Irken business owner on hellhole of a planet that gets sucked into a time vortex every two weeks.

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Take it upstairs and see how far that's going to get you.

Something's BOUND to go wrong with whenever anything is in Zim's presence, even executions probably, so imo exile without telling him it ever was exile was the best option.

I tried they just laughed at me for five straight minutes and told me to come back when I was taller or had more snacks

Good, now get that back to work.

If you insist

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Any fellow jannies looking for work? Previous chick with some tube in her head ditched so there's a spot available on planet Dirt.

that guy’s gonna cause the fall of the empire mark my fucking words

Is it true that the armada recently flew right into a fucking Florpus hole? Weren't the Tallest right at the head of that fleet? Is the empire fucked right now?

I don't know how, but I would bet you anything that this is somehow that faggot Zim's fault.

Why do we have so many navigators hired when we don't even steer? Kind of a waste if you ask me.

ALMIGHTY TALLEST ROCK!!!

I would love to be a service drone for them...

any word on what the resisty’s up to? last i heard they attacked the fucking massive

I wanna serve them curly fries!

Curly fries
Curly fries
Curly fries

Hiromoot is Tallest, he can do whatever he wants with the armada!

Reported to the Control Brains for being a Defective

>this whole post
Why do you want to work for Sizz-lorr so much?

They're coming.

Hey guys guess who grew 1/8th of an inch today? Yup that’s right this guy! Well guess I’m going get that promotion and be a supervisor janitorial assistant on bay 186 now.

Does anyone know if I can get an extension cord ordered for the megadoomer I requisitioned?
I was gonna just get batteries but I don't really feel like having to swap them out all the time.

HEY GUYS! REMEMBER THOSE ROCKS THAT GOT OVERTHROWN BY THE HYBRID ABOMINATION!
WE FOUND SOME, AND WE CRUSHED THEM UP... AND WE’RE GONNA SNORT EM!
IF YOU WANT TO JOIN ME ON A ROCKHIGH, COME TO THAT ONE ARMORY THREE CLICKS FROM THE SEVENTH TORTURE ROOM, AND ASK FOR MECHANIC YEG!!!
THATS ME!!! COME DOWN NOW, I ONLY HAVE FIVE TUBES OF GEM DUST LEFT!!!!

Congrats! I wish I had your luck. I haven't grown for 50 years.

HELLOOO, IRKCHAN!!1!!!!1!1 WOW, THAT INVADER ZIM IS TOTALLY THE GREATEST, ISN'T HE?????!!? HE AND ONLY HE ALONE WAS GIVEN A SUPER SPECIAL SECRET MISSION FROM THE TALLEST. OF COURSE THE TALLEST WOULD RECOGNIZE ZIM'S AMAZINGNESS. HE'S SO COOL, AND BRILLIANT, AND AND NOT-SHORT AT ALL??!!?! WOW??!??11!! I BET ALL OF IRK IS JEALOUS OF HIM. EVERY SINGLE IRKEN, FROM DEEP IN THEIR SQUEEDLYSPOOCHES, FEELS NOTHING BUT SHEER ENVYYY EVERY TIME THEY SEE ZIM FURTHER ADVANCING HIS GENIUS PLANS TO ANNIHILATE THE HYOOMANS OF URTH. BECAUSE THEY WISH THEY WERE HIM!!!!!! BECAUSE THEY WISH THEY WERE THE ONES PICKED FOR THIS MISSION.
BUT THEY WEREN'T!!!?! LOL!!!!!! BECAUSE ZIM IS THE BEST AND EVERYONE WANTS TO BE HIM. AMIRITE?? YEAH, ZIM'S JUST THE BEST.

t.TOTALLY NOT ZIM. BECAUSE WHY WOULD HE BE BROWSING SOME BASKETWEAVING FORUM WHEN HE'S GOT BETTER THINGS TO DO LIKE PLANNING A PLANET'S DOWNFALL????!!?!1

their even taller then the tallest

you're a faggot, Zim. gtfo

reminder to report and ignore zim posts
no one likes you zim, go back to /defect/

Yeah it's his fault I bet, rumors going around the idiot managed to teleport the planet he was sent to straight to front of the Armada's warpath without realizing that whatever he did to do so would create the damn thing!

To be fair though, this would have never happened with the previous Tallest.

I heard Zim was responsible for the death of our last Tallest as well
What more proof do we need, Zim should be thrown into a black hole

HEH HEH HEH LOOK AT ALL THESE JELLY IRKENS. AT ALL ZIM'S HATERZZZ, ROFLMAO!!!?! XD IF I WAS ZIM - WHICH I'M NOT - I WOULD LAUGH WHOLEHEARTEDLY AT ALL OF YOU WHILE I BATHE IN ALL YOUR SAD TEARS.

AND WTF ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?? /DEFECT/ IS ONLY FOR DEFECTFAGS. WHICH ZIM IS NOT??!!? YOU'RE MORE CONFUSED THAN A BABY MEEBLEFLITZ.

Shouldn't you be frying something?

YOU SAD, SAD MISINFORMED SMEET. THAT WAS ONLY PHASE 2 OF ZIM'S BRILLIANT PLAN!!!!!!!!! THAT FLORPUS HOLE WAS PLANNED ALL ALONG. IT WAS PART OF ZIM'S INGENIUS IDEA TO STEAL THE DIB HOOMAIN'S PUPPY CLOWN THINGIE. AND HE SUCCEEDED!!!!!!1!!1 I BET NONE OF YOU COULD HAVE PULLED OFF SUCH A FEAT.

t. AGAIN, NOT ZIM

LIESSSSS

I did the exact same thing last week... then I returned it. He didn’t even notice... neither did you... Zim... you are
U S E L E S S

LIESSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FAKE NEWS!!!!!!!!!!!!

The tallest MIGHT want to turn someday.

If the Tallests ARE actually gone who do you guys think will take over? I'd say that one fry-lord but that dudes way too wide, maybe the Rarl Kove fella could be a good pick.

AGAIN, I'M TOTALLY NOT ZIM, BUT I HEARD THAT ZIM QUIT HIS STINKY JOB WHEN HE HEARD ABOUT OPERATION IMPENDING DOOM 2. AND IT'S A GOOD THING HE DID!!!! SHLOOGORGH'S IS NO PLACE FOR A PROPER INVADER. AND IT'S SMELLY, JUST LIKE SIZZ-LORR. GOOD RIDDANCE, SIZZ-LORR JONES!!!!!!!!!!

Shut up before we send a thread link to Dib

STOP CALLING ME ZIMMMM. I'M NOT ZIM, I'M JUST A NON-ZIM IRKEN SPITTING FACTS HERE.

Shut up Zim. Or else I’ll send a link to this thread to the Dib hooman. I know you hate him Zim

BECAUSE, AGAIN, WHY WOULD ZIM EVEN BE ON THIS BOARD??????

YOU KNOW HOW I KNOW THAT YOU ARE TALKING FUCKING BULLSHIT?????!!? YOU COULDN'T HAVE EVEN TOUCHED THAT HIDEOUS HOUSE RELIC BECAUSE GIR ATE IT THAT VERY SAME DAY ZIM TOOK IT, PORCELAIN AND ALL. OF COURSE, THAT WAS ALSO PART OF ZIM'S PLAN. ZIM'S JUST SO BRILLIANT, THAT HE ACCOUNTED FOR SUCH A THING HAPPENING!!!!

He'd still have to go on trial with the Control Brains dude, sure he's completely guilty but I'm kind of afraid what will happen if they have to access the little runt's PAC. He can't honestly be that deranged and stupid on purpose... could he?

On to lighter topics, we're out a pair of ALMIGHTY TALLEST!- and our race's majority firepower. Do we rebuild or do we just call it a day?

Irkens don't even have reproductive organs. Must be sad but, Vortians have seven sets of reproductive organs. How can soikens even compete?

I, FOR ONE, BELIEVE ZIM WOULD BE A GREAT TALLEST. PERHAPS EVEN THE GREATEST TALLEST EVER!?!!?

THIS WIFI CONNECTION IS SHIT. OR THIS WEBSITE IS JUST BROKEN OR SOMETHING. ANYWAYS, I MUST GET BACK TO DOING NON-ZIM THINGS, LIKE BEING A BORING IRKEN. JUST LIKE YOU ALL. FAREWELL.

t. FOR THE LAST TIME, NOT THE EXPONENTIALLY INCREDIBLE ZIM.

Go rub some filthy meat on your skin you same-fagging manlet

How dare you even THINK that!

Hey alien scum i mean, fellow irkens! can you BELIEVE all of our race's weak points? like we should take turns listing all of them in this thread its so crazy!
almost as crazy as our planets coordinates, like seriously whats the deal with them? someone who knows what im talking about post them
Also if anyone has advice on fixing an invader ship it would be very much appreciated.

I don't know why but i get the feeling you have a very big head.

>tfw I knew these two back in the day

we were in the same Elite Squadron. when our team got sent to literally who planets, it would only take us a few hours to clear the planet of any life, so we would have a fuck tonne of time to kill after. we'd wait for the Massive to come pick us up, and all the while these two loons would be fashioning the carcasses of the planet's native species we murdered into puppets. fucking puppets. they'd put on shows for the other Elite, but most of us thought they were weird. I also caught them touching antennae one time. wonder if they still do that

Why.

Jannies are cancer and so are you

>you will never touch antenna with the tallest
Why even live bros

Why not just grant snacks to the Tallest?

Invader Chad here, I’m boutta hit the gym at planet Fitness, you guys wanna spot me?

Now that the big headed Urth thing mentioned it, why do we follow the Tallest?

Y'know how gravity squashes and stretches spacetime? Plotting an actually straight line through distorted space takes some fairly complicated math at the best of times.

>known public figure
>pretty tall
I'd say he's got a decent chance. I'll give the frylord this much: he's got the necessary connections to the snack-industrial complex.

Meant to attach this image.

Protip: don't post using old Vort tech. Turns out it interfaces real bad with our stuff.

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>He doesn't know
Bro Gymnasia has a way better array of training equipment, stop wasting your credits on that over-priced garbage planet

Invader Chad reporting in. Invader Virg agreed to be my spotter and we got a direct hit on planet Fitness’s gym. Once we destroy the oats factory too they will lose all their gains and will never ever make it ahahahAHAHAHAHA

It's like you dont want to get gainz. Go to gymnasia you actual shplorg

Perhaps Bob was onto something.

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Have they ever turned before?

Literally not since impending doom 2 started

I think I have a shortness fetish. How fucked up am I?

That's like being turned on by retards

shortfags are disgusting, user. You should be ashamed

I’m a Vortian but I was wondering if Foodcortia still had schleemi burgers or are they seasonal?

Schleemi burgers are seasonal, they'll be back in like 10 years. Fucking snoogley fries is where it's at though man but they havent been in season since the last food courtia.

Foodening* snackening? I dont know, fucking shitty ass vort autothought detector.

post your sir units

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I got one of the black ones before they sold out

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Pretty fucked, mate.

I'm from earth.
You all smell bad. And you are all short.
Very short.

>t. Irklet

>vortfags
didn’t we kill all of you fucks?

Gotta keep them alive to build our weapons, or at least harvest their brainmeats for our new sect of engineers.

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Don't we all?

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I know we shouldn't trust anything from that asshole Zim's reports, but did you guys ever notice those humin things love snacks almost as much as we do?

I kinda wanna try one of those pizza things. You know, after substituting whatever is toxic to us.

Zim better not be in snack-heaven pretending to be invading it. Even a total asshole lIke him shouldn't be having THIS much trouble with a planet.

Knowing Zim he is probably being stopped by one of those humin worm babies. I mean he is still just a fry cook.

REMOVE SNAK remove SNAK
you are worst irken. you are the irken idiot you are the irken smell. return to irik. to our irik opressors you may come our plant. you may live in the zoo….ahahahaha ,red we will never forgeve you. tallest rascal FUck but fuck asshole irk stink irkens squiddly spooch..operation impending doom 1 best day of my life. take a bath of dead irken..ahahahahahRED WE WILL GET YOU!! do not forget resisty .zim he kill the tallest , tallest return to your precious foodcourtia….hahahahaha idiot red and purple smell so bad..wow i can smell it. REMOVE SNAK FROM THE PREMISES. you will get caught. meekrob+vortian+slaughtering rat people=kill irken…you will impending doom 1/ larb nar alive in vort, larb nar making album of vort . fast rap larb nar vort. we are rich and have couch now hahahaha ha because of larb nar… you are ppoor stink irk… you live in a hovel hahahaha, you live in a PAK
larb nar alive numbr one #1 in vort….fuck the irk ,..FUCKk ashol irken no good i spit in the mouth eye of ur insingia and empir. Larb nar aliv and real strong wizard kill all the irken smeet with rap magic now we the vortians rule .human of the zoo control brains fukc the great satan and lay egg this egg hatch and ir was;s born. stupid smeet form the eggn give bak our freedom we will crush u lik a skull of gasquigasporch . resisty greattst resistance

Greetings my fellow invaders, I am proud to announce that I have successfully completed my mission and Blorch will soon be ripe for conquest!

Long live the glory of our Irken Empire!

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What was that? You’re so short I couldn’t hear you

Why are you so fat?

MY TALLEST! MY TALLEST! MY TALLEST! MY TALLEST! MY TALLEST! MY TALLEST! MY TALLEST! MY TALLEST!

THOSE WEIRD THINGS THAT ATE INVADER SCHLUB ARE IN THE REACTORS AGAIN! AND THEY’RE HOARDING SNACKS!

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Who /slightly taller than average/ here?

>shortfag
sure you did

There's absolutely nothing wrong with being short!

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I want to dominate a short irken!

>grew 8mm this week
>tfw over 150cm now
we're all going to make it

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Dib,
I will destroy you
Love,
Zim

Stop trying to take credit away from Invader Grapa you lying shortfag. I hope the Tallest reassign you to that dookie planet.

I work with Bob. He's a big grump and just doesn't understand what an honor serving The Tallest is! Last week they switched me over from standard table to soda machine. It's so much heavier and so much more rewarding!

T. Irklet

MAN you're ugly!

Dude, same. They're so easy to bully. And they deserve it!

Anyone else think Zim would look cute with his antennae curled?

>zim cute
Kys

That guy freaks me out, honestly. I'm pretty sure he's a Defective.

Zim DOES look a little like Invader Tenn, actually..

I'm only 87 cm

Yeah, now that you mention it...

Uhh I was running low on monies so I ordered from a cheap site, but this is NOT what I ordered! What do I do?

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Zim has always been and always will be cute in design.

That's not a SIR unit, dude. That's a SRR unit.

A Sexual Relief and Repression unit

kys

I heard he yelled at The Tallest once. How is he even still around??

Pics or GTFO

Let's mail him antenna curlers and false eyelashes and see what happens!

you probably aren't even here anymore but here you go

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Yeah, it was really cute when he destroyed half our planet. Adorable, that Zim.

my TALLEEEEEEEEST

lol imagine unironically being under 1 metre
go fetch me a snack you dumb Irklet

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>drawing Zim as cute
Drawfirkens like you should be sent to the earth planet.

Amazing work

Who them alien bitches in this pic?

>Ordering from Planet Bootleggia
You got what you deserved

>zim on a date with human worm baby scum
Please tell me this isn't real my sides can only take so much

yeah, I don't think so

check this out, bro.

Taller=smarter, always has an always will be, defect.

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I ordered a srr unit from bootlegia once. Only like 50 monies but it overheats like crazy and burned the fuck out of my shmiggly splooch

Oh hey I'm in that pic! 10 rows back on the right!

What is with those stains on Skoodge's uniform?

>be me
>visit urth to fuck with zim
>everyone there is tall and incredibly stupid
>get freaked out and leave like a fag
I'm sorry bros

Scooge is a fuck up why wouldn't there be

But why does he smell strongly of genitalia?

Oh no, what does he do? We have to tell our Tallest! He delivers to them all the time!

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>implying literally anyone would even consider doing that with scooge
He probably hasn't washed his egg sack since impending doom 1

If he's such a fuck up then how the fuck did he end up conquering Blorch of all places?

Does anyone know who keeps fucking raiding the snack bay? I swear to God if I find out which one of you is doing this we'll have you exiled to porcelenia, the universe's largest rest stop

Tallest Red has a bigger schmoo than Tallest Purple. I will not tell you how I know but just trust me.

What's that scooge? I cant hear you from all the way down there

>Hey, why do these nachos taste funny?
>Invader Jim i'm looking in your direction!

>t. samefagging Skoodge
You're almost as pathetic as Zim

everyone raids the snack bay shortbrain, lmao you must be the only Irken on this ship that doesn't take free snacks

Oh, no no no, you're getting mixed up. That was this guy, not the short ugly one that smells like a Slormpin's Schlashtin.

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Haha that sounds super gross I totally don't want that around my mouth haha

Blorch had an undeveloped people with no tools. That's an easy conquest, he had to do no work.

I wonder if he grew taller while he was there, so he's already stuck.

I thought this guy did that?

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I guarantee this is what happened
>be scooge
>land on planet and construct shitty basic bass
>tell sir unit to find weaknesses of indegenuis people
>have computer develop a mind control serum for stupid rats
>fuck bootleg srr unit until it's done
Fucking easiest conquering to ever be done, now that dude who had to conquer that planet that had the best couches had it rough.

I'm kinda short but I have pretty long antennae!

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holy fuck blue board user

What the fuck, how is there a irken that's even smaller than zim?

>antennae pics
got anymore?

I don't remember how Zim messed up Operation Impending Doom 1. Could any fellow Irken fill me in on what happened?

>everyone raids the snack bay
Sure everyone who wants to end up on foodcourtia or some other God awful exile

Meet me at bay 127 and I can be your tallest for tonight

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Hey, does anyone remember that one group with that dumbass Vortian? What faggots, am I right?

>not remembering zim raging war on our home planet
God you're probably not even a foot tall.

underage b&, smeet

>someone posts their fucking antennae
>not even a girl
>the thread goes nuts
Each and every one of you is getting flagged for a hormone suppresor inspection.