Pitch me a two-gun kid mcu movie

Pitch me a two-gun kid mcu movie

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So there's this cowboy, and he's a kid, a pre-teen kid, and he has two guns, while everyone else just has one. And he uses them to fight criminals. And the lawmen and the politicians, they want to control him, because a kid can't be running around with two guns. The villain is an evil politician who wants to ban people from having two guns, but actually collects guns, and in the final battle, uses one giant gun against Two-Gun Kid, maybe an actual cannon.

Nice plot. Now cast it.

Is Montana the state with the worst Avenger?

Two-Gun Mickey

in which Mickey must save Minnie because she only has one gun and pete has too many hit points

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Make it about the time Hawkeye was stuck in the past and they became buddies

no one but me remembers that

that'd go to nebraska

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Arizona Annie would have to be the female lead.

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Our Avengers Initiative team murdered itself to death in an Iron Man comic too. Not like any supervillain would stay in Omaha for long though, someone would shoot them just for acting like Omaha isn’t hard.

Just make it about the Tesseract. They're all about the fuckin Tesseract. It lands in the middle of some old west town, starts making lights, Kid ends up with it and has to get it to the coast before Gary Oldman can use it to power his death machines. Kid Colt and Arizona Girl are there too and Chris Pratt has a cameo as Quill's great great granddaddy

>Snobs for years saying that any day now superhero movies will die out like Westerns did
>Marvel makes a Western superhero movie
>It becomes the highest-grossing Western of all time
What would their reaction be?

>wot_in_tarnation.gif

>THEY CAN'T KEEP GETTING AWAY WITH IT

Who would the villain be?

What about the living totem

The living totem

>Native American-based villain
Too problematic.

Adapt "Rawhide Kid: The Sensational Seven."

Then tie in the reveal is that the mercenaries attacking the town are from the future. Two-Gun and Rawhide Kid get dumped out into modern Manhattan.

we recut Jonah Hex and overdub the lines "Jonah Hex" and "Hex" and "Jonah" with "Two-Gun Kid."

No one will be the wiser.

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A crossover with Ant-Man.

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Nah, he's an alien invader. Native Americans were responsible for imprisoning him.

Won't people notice that "Two-Gun Kid" doesn't have 2 guns?

Do it like Inglorious Basterds.
Five vignettes. Tarantino style.

First would be Two-Gun Kid. Just sort of a slightly more realistic version of a classic Western tale-- rowdy gang of outlaws are fucking up a town, the hero comes in and stops them.

Next is Rawhide Kid. Starts out with a very old school, corny Western story of the Kid stopping some cattle rustlers, in an old grainy film filter. Then suddenly it zooms out to show it's just a kid reading an illustrated dime novel. Kid asks him what he thinks of it, kid says it sucks and needs more illustrations. We see that Rawhide is now a showman, retired from heroics and trying to sell his story like Buffalo Bill. He's in a traveling Wild West show, but his skills are clearly fading. Some outlaw assholes challenge him to a duel after he boasts, and he wins, ending with him ironically charged for murder.

Kid Colt is next. It's a much grittier, Sergio Leone style, with the character on the run from the law. The whole time he's trying to break an old friend out of prison to save him from the gallows-- at the very end, we find out it was Rawhide.

Then Red Wolf. The only dialogue is some Cheyenne, not subtitled. It visually tells a story of white men offering to buy the tribe's land, them refusing, then the white men massacring the tribe later on. In an extended, violent action scene, Wolf slaughters the men. It's implied he becomes a vigilante.

Finally, we get a very loose adaptation of Blaze of Glory, set years later. John Ostrander gets cut a giant check.

You're dumb if you think anyone would see a native-american villain as problematic. The real problematic thing would be casting a white person as native (like Johnny Depp did).

I hope they do.

Because then we'll announce we fixed it for the home video release as the official "Two-Gun Cut in 4K."

But we release it on DVD and it's just regular Jonah Hex. Problem. Solved.

Hmmm

Mocked by his peers and rivals for his perceived youth and moral upstanding, Matthew Hawkins secretly learned the art of ambidexterity to eventually prove his prowess with firearms. When he is blamed by a corrupt sheriff for killing an innocent man, Hawkins goes into hiding, emerging again as the Two-Gun Kid, a vagabond vigilante seeking to avenge the victims of injustice and oppression, two bullets at a time.

this is only because a time variance foundation or whatever that thing that She-Hulk was involved in could lead into their version of Legends of Tomorrow. Besides, Disney has a lot of great unused Western town sets.

It looks flat and lifeless like literally every MCU movie except the protag wears a cowboy hat and they CGI deserts onto the green screens instead of other stuff. There are quips.

You are hired.

Would unironically be my favorite thing they've ever done