I just finished watching Monster Family, and I went in expecting a mediocre, generic, inoffensive, but ultimately cute family-friendly flick. What I got was MUCH worse than what I was expecting.
Story, pacing, humor, it's all terrible. Any bit of writing that could have made this movie remotely entertaining falls flat in every category. Story was all over the place, they kept setting up different villains and resolving them but not really? They resolve what seems like the main storyline in the middle of the movie and it makes you feel like it's over, but then you look at the time and see it's only half over and wonder what the hell they're going to pull out of their ass to prolong the runtime. Which was Dracula deciding to freeze the Earth, by the way.
The animation is totally uncanny, everyone looks like a bobblehead whenever they talk and the lip-syncing is completely off, making every character seem like they're totally devoid of emotion and life. The character models themselves aren't that bad I admit, but the animation ruins any potential they have.
Nothing in this movie has weight to it, everything you would want to be badass is completely anticlimactic. The villain's final transformation at the end of the movie into a more monstrous form is very sudden and nobody reacts to it, and he just looks stupid rather than anymore threatening than he was before. And because of the shitty animation, the final fight is wimpy and janky, and the movie ends with a whimper.
I hated this stupid fucking movie, and the internet couldn't even give me a crumb of porn of the mom, which only poured salt into the wound I received from suffering through this poor excuse for a film.
The bat minions are awful, and only exist for gross-out humor to nobody's surprise. Randomly sneezing and covering each other in snot? Check. Eating their own/each other's earwax? You got it. And just in case you were worried these characters weren't completely hilarious, yes, they fart. And you know your movie is bad when THESE are the characters that ultimately save the day. Speaking of farting, how every single family member of Frank doesn't have a case of pink eye is beyond me. The man farts thick clouds of noxious green gas several times, and it doesn't get any funnier each time he does it.
Baba Yaga has a running gag throughout the movie where she teleports to various places and says her signature line "This not Londra" and it wasn't funny the first time, but the movie just wants to make sure, so they have this gag sprinkled several times throughout to make sure you get a laugh. If I have to hear the words 'Disappear Pronto' ever again I'm going to off myself. Admittedly, about halfway through the movie, they drop all of the various running gags and shift the pace into what seems like a completely different movie once they're in the desert.
Also there's a lot of moments in the movie that feel uncomfortably long to force the movie to the 90 minute mark. There's a chase scene between Emma and Baba Yaga that I was begging for them to end but it kept going. A group hug where they're transforming back into humans that takes absolutely forever.
I know I'm saying it in every thread, but this looks like a Sims 2 addon.
Matthew Richardson
This looks like the producers tried to make a movie of The Munsters but couldn’t get the rights, so they tweaked the script a little and called it an “original” story.
It goes against (()) programming, the mom realizes her folly and commits to her family. To my memory there is no praising or promoting of anti-culteral decadence like rap. There is no pedophile or hebophile normalization. No transplant of a jewish or white family onto black/hispanic face-lift where they are all wealthy doctors, lawyers or bankers in a mansion with Victorian era furniture in a nuclear family. (Bel-air, Cosby show, black fantastical sitcoms in general)
It could have been worse user, it could have torn down children's tiny sense of morality.
Chase Clark
I forgot this even existed
Tyler Cox
Dracula is fucking hot
Daniel Wright
-Farts-
Jordan Nguyen
you're thinking of frankenstein
Jason Moore
style reminds me more of sims 4
Carson Fisher
It fucking sucks. People talk a lot about movies being bad but rarely do you see something with the raw incompetence of this. It's weird though because it manages to look halfway decent but is just so boring.
I did like the stuff with the mummy powers though, where she had the power to hypnotize and turn into a tornado and stuff. So often mummies are just boring dry zombies in movies so it was cool to see them do something interesting with them. Also (You)
Jordan Miller
The mummy powers were kinda neat (especially after I’d spent so much time assuming she was useless), but I couldn’t help thinking they had just ripped off the Brendan Fraser movie with the sandstorm powers and shit.
Asher Wood
Yeah, probably, but I guess the Universal Mummy movies (including the Dark Universe one) are the only real modern representations of Mummies as figures in horror movies so it's not really surprising.
And it turned out pretty cool all things considered so maybe that's the way to go
>whenever they talk and the lip-syncing is completely off
At least this one part has the flimsy excuse that it’s just a really bad language dub. You can maybe give the bad voice acting a pass for that too. It doesn’t fix any of the other animation or story problems, but I do wonder if the movie might be slightly better in its original german.
Brody Clark
You don’t even need to try to get the rights to The Munsters to do a “monster mash” movie. It’s practically its own genre at this point.
A lot of people who choose to do it sometimes shy away from the original family structure, though.
Even if this movie had somehow been good but kept the same premise, the basic story is confusing as fuck and doesn’t at all fit the tone, style, medium, and genre chosen. If you look past the monster shit, it’s a movie about a woman who is struggling with the choice of leaving her dull frustrating life as a wife and mother to go have an affair. But it’s a wacky magical kids’ movie. And, I get that kids’ movies often have some things for parents to relate to too, but it’s not usually at the expense of making the core plot something that a child couldn’t relate to at all. Usually the center of the movie is something either universally relatable, or something that the target audience will at least hopefully get. Here they have a plot that mostly only bored housewives are gonna be able to relate to, but skinned it in a children’s movie.
I don’t get it. Is there a big audience among housewives who watch children’s animated movies outside of sharing them with their kids? Was this made for those facebook moms who love minions or something?
Well, it's budget was pretty high. From what I recall, it had the highest budget of any German animated movie made this far. Sure, money can't fix a lack of artistic integrity, but at least it can pay you some pretty good models
Basically, the movie is based off a novel from a pretty big local author who targets his stories towards women in their mid 20's/mid 30''s. Why they decided to turn it into a kids movie I have no idea, I bet it's just for marketing reasons.
I spent a good portion of the movie wondering if they were trying to make Dracula sympathetic or not, right up until the doomsday plot reveal.
It seems like it’d be so easy to make a mustache twirling evil evil guy, I’m not sure why they stay on him so long as a lonely lovable goof if they were ultimately gonna decide he was supposed to be beyond redemption all along.
Foreign animated films usually have weird sounding English dubs most of the time. Hell, even the English dubs of AKIRA sound weird compared to the Japanese version.
Watching the German version is probably less bad than the English dub.
Yeah that seems right. I’d say it felt like they spent maybe slightly more time as humans compared to the time the characters spent as humans in Princess and the Frog.
Elijah Hughes
Foreign animations usually at least make a better effort to get the lip syncing right. Or at least, I don’t usually find the lip syncing distracting.
Luke Nguyen
I onlywatched this because of her. Boy was I bored.
Wyatt Murphy
At least it's better than English dubs of live action movies. And the Streamline dub of AKIRA is one of the very first foreign animated films that became popular in English-speaking countries, and the voice acting was also done before the animation.
Owen Allen
I usually make it a point to finish watching a movie before I’ll give it a thumbs down or a one star rating. This was one of the ones that was really hard to sit through all the way.
Hunter Bell
Yeah same, I really couldn’t tell what they were trying to do with him after a certain point. Part of me thought they were actually going to make him a valid choice for her until he started with the snowflake shit. It’s funny though, the only shipping art I’ve seen from this movie has been Dracula/Emma, I’m sure because it’s aesthetically pleasing rather than anyone actually thinking they belong together.
Robert Hall
Hypnofag here. How is that on a scale of 1-10?
Joshua Cook
If it’s your main reason for watching, don’t bother. There’s one scene in the airport where it’s used, and then the power concept is dropped entirely (besides some sand storm shit later on)
Jayden Reed
Look at those hips, her vampire form is downgrade.
Owen Gonzalez
Its boring, I remmeber I walked out of the theater around the time they where about to fight Dracula.
Jayden Adams
I forget this had a theatrical run. They should have lopped the time in half and made it direct to video
Eli Mitchell
>finished watching
I couldn't even do that. I stopped after maybe 10-15 minutes.
Kayden Thompson
You're all making me want to watch it to see how bad it is.
Isaac Hughes
Remember that this movie also goes by the name of "Happy Family"
You're crazy. Her hips are the same size, its her waist that's gotten smaller.
Leo Baker
I can’t really say it’s bad in a way that’s entertaining. I did get a couple confused laughs, like with Dracula’s weirdly Ironman-esque gadgets that he has for some reason. But for the most part it’s just painfully boring, gross, and horrifically unfunny. The ONLY reason to watch it is for the hot mom, but past that this movie has nothing going for it. I had just finished watching Megamind and was still in a movie-watching mood and this movie had been rotting in my Netflix list for months. I was determined to watch the entire thing, although I did keep pausing it after a while to write my thoughts down or browse for fan art. Actually, once I realized how bad it was I stopped multi-tasking with my game and started paying attention more so I could really get the full experience.
Jeremiah Long
>the mom realizes her folly and commits to her family. That sounds sexists. Women are never wrong.
Cooper Walker
But this a bloodsucking monster
Robert Flores
So how does a vampire and Frankenstein monster have a mummy and werewolf kids? Are they adopted?
