ITT: The biggest jobbers in comics

imagine being raped by your own son

This stupid loser.

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This is just proof this Carol doesn't have a soul, and is probably a Kree replicant.

Nobody currently at marvel knows or cares how the penance stare works

I've always seen him as being in the highest power tier for DC heroes, but he would always loose to anyone else in that top tier, whether it be Supes or Billy or MM or Mary

As a group they have more power and resources than pretty much anyone and they always manage to lose or just make shit worse.

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>This is just proof this Carol doesn't have a soul, and is probably a Kree replicant.
Fungus Golem more likely

He was once considered equal in power to Superman and had reality-altering powers already in his 80s ongoing - I think it was a bit to propel him as he was new to DC back then and also because the writers were a bit too much inspired by Doctor Manhattan, who, after all, was a ripoff of him.
Plus that whole Monarch debacle (Monarch was supposed to be powerful enough to kill every other hero after all).
But yes, he had a set of considerable weaknesses and the most fun adventures were when he had to resolve problems he couldn't just shoot with quantum lazors - like that time Silver Shield blocked his powers and he learned CQC from Batman, or when he was very badly injured and at the mercy of Plastique. Those stories are his true strenght for me.
Sorry for the rant, I really love Cap and he's too obscure to be talked about so I jump at every discussion opportunity.

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ive always liked how electricity can fuck him up

The correct answer is Iron Man, because the MCU made him the most popular superhero in the world and he's STILL a jobber in the comics.

If being the face of a multibillion IP can't get you some wins then there is no hope for you.

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>He's a Superman tier Power hitter
>He Becomes Intangible to avoid big blows
>He can morph to Bambozel his enemies
>He's a World Tier Telepath

Still Jobs like a retard

>Let me just enter this thread and scan for danger
>AAAAAAGGGH

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In fairness he was exposed to kryptonite in that scenario but yeah his ability to be incapacitated moved many episodes of JL / JLU / Superman Adventures forward.

Any good AAAAAAGGGH role play threads?

I haven't seen one of those or a henchman thread in a hot minute nor do I have any screencaps saved, sorry user.
They do always get some belly laughs out of me when they do pop up, best not to force the thread though IMO.
Here's another classic from what some consider the premiere jobber.

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If you are a friend or on the same team as Iron Man, his powers of Jobber get added on to you. Plus Xavier's a Telepath so he gets extra jobbing Power points.

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A shame. Thx for the laughs though

Zatanna and Etrigan are DC premiere magic jobbers

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FOR
FUCKS
SAKE!

kek

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>lets send the hulk to space
>oh shit he's back and kicking our asses
>lets attack the skrulls
>they captured us
>lets gather the infinity gems so we can protect them
>a guy in a red hood just stole them because we made them much easier to find
>remember the skrulls? they are still mad are invading the planet and have even captured one of us
>Do you think infinity gems can stop the incursions?
>turns out they can't and the gems blew up
>Thanos came to earth and captured Black Bolt and now he is kicking our asses
Not gonna lie them being dysfunctional and incompetent is a lot of the appeal for me.

lol

Reccomendations?

>fire powers
GR doesn't have fire powers.

I'd be okay with him losing fights if he just started telling dumb dad jokes when he was nervous again. That was a good hook.

Who does our boy job to?

I hate the non-stop push of Carol so much that I now can't stand the character either.

Fuck this shit that no one wanted.

Silver Surfer.

No that is a comic myth/meme. He just dislikes fighting.

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Well who wouldn't if they'd have to job all the time.

Between this and The Punisher I don't think most writers understand how The Penance Stare works.

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He doesnt job half as often as most other non-human GL's

Imagine being a whole fucking race of jobbers.

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Oh it gets better.

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Ghost Rider is a lame edge goth wish fufillment Gary Stu any ways. Im glad he's put in his place.

Amazing. Literally every word in that was wrong.

I love that Manhattan just fucked up constantine like that, that will teach you you snobby brittish Gary stu.

Read the late 1980s series by Cary Bates and Greg Weisman.
Yes, that Greg Weisman. If the first issue doesn't hook you, quit it.

How to be a jobber with Black Bolt.
step1. Have immense powers that can do tons of things
step2, Have one power that is far more popular than the others so it gets used so much more that a lot people think you only have one power
step3. Everyone with a name can and will survive your power
step4. get depowered every week
Congrats you are ready to lose. Bonus step in the unlikely event that someone remembers your other powers you are NEVER allowed to win a fight with them and will always be forced to use your voice.

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The curse of being Marvel's J'onn. His jobber aura will always surround you

It's one more way Byrne destroyed him. Until then he was written as one of the most powerful of the main Avengers cast, at least on a level with Iron Man. From 1989 onwards he's been the guy who gets beaten to prove how powerful the villain is, plus he's a robot so he can get torn apart.

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I'll just copy your moves an-ARRRUUGGG HOW'D YOU BEAT ME!

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Again, not really how it works

Yeah that's why I posted it.

Isn’t Carol also low-key kind of a jobber who exists to show the Avengers can’t beat X by brute force?

>Dr. Manhattan
God, don’t remind me they pushed the idea of him turning into an OMFG IMPS ARE SCARED reality warper just because. Doesn’t Doomsday Cock being declared non-canon screw up a shitton of stuff between Darkseid War and Rebirth? Owlman and Metron getting zapped, Pandora being fucked up, the Flash’s little encounter-what the shit, man? If Doc is really not canon to any of those did those actually still happen? Did REBIRTH happen?!

Or is Supes going to punch Manhattan so hard he punched him out of the damn canon. Is. Is that where we’re going with this?

>I'll just fight
>DIFFERENTLY
Props to Moon Knight for just flying a plane at him and telling him he's fucked

Silver Surfer defeated two Galactus tiers by himelf, he only jobbed in the 90s

Dr. Strange recently fucked up so hard he crunched the whole universe into it’s pre-big bang state until he, Eternity and the Living Tribunal were all that was left staring at it from the wild white spaces. He’s still probably the most responsible pair of hands in that picture. The problem isn’t their collective power and resources, the problem is as individuals they have the emotional stability and common sense of toddlers.

You know what’s REALLY noticeable about Zatanna’s jobbing? Circe and Mordru never job, and don’t need Grant Morrison to bend reality around like soft taffy. It’s almost like magic is deliberately trying to make the bad guys win.

And then marrying him after he got you pregnant with himself

The funny thing is, if they had only just tried a little harder then

>let’s send the Hulk to the Dark Dimension

Could’ve solved their problem handily because then he’d just end up in Umar’s seraglio forever

One has to wonder exactly how deliberate the Avengers waving Carol off to become her own son’s broodmare was. I mean, other than Thor to whom the whole thing is probably just a crazy weekend on Asgard considering how often sorceresses try to rape him.

Fucking Christ woman BEING A BITCH ISN'T A SUPERPOWER HAVE SOME CLASS

>Hulk gets sent back to earth empowered by Dormmamu
Oh shit

He's literally on fire

>Hulk becomes Dormammu’s brother in law
>By some obscure legal bullshit Hulk becomes a serious contender for the throne of Hell

Kek this just gets worse and worse, where’s my Illuminati membership card?

Really? I thought that was America Chavez’s secondary superpower.

Loud kek

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Remember that Thor, Tony and Hawkeye were the only ones who were present to hear Marcus' story. There's a greater than 50% chance that Marcus' line about using his machines to influence Carol didn't register as rape with them, it didn't to anyone working on the book. There's also a greater than 50% chance their reaction to Carol leaving was "Thank God that's over".

Did the penance stare just backfired on him because Venom had too much sins? What?

Yes, or he was knocked out or something, it's pretty stupid considering the first time he used the stare on Venom it knocked both of them out.

It’s like he was trying to be retarded and wrong on purpose brother

Huh, was Carol insufferable even back then? I thought that was a really old story.

Sadly this, jobber by association

He and Supes are just too damn powerful for their own good. Ya gotta make em job or batman doesn't get to do anything

Hulk fucked up the dark demension at his strongest right?

>Really? I thought that was *insert female character here*’s secondary superpower.
Yeah me too

Who jobs more? Xavier or J'onn? I think it's close but Mr. Wheelchair takes it

She was made into a huge cunt by a blue haired cunt

Hulk and suped up Red she hulk kept exploding the dimension when they fought.

Mr. Wheelchair for me has it in the bag thanks to the fact it's supposed to be one of his greatest assets which is why it's basically his only power yet he still fucks up with it. at least J'onn has other powers to use.

And Umar was just floating around being annoyed but otherwise unperturbed while everyone else was just obliterated and reconstituted over and over again. It’s funny how all my Dark Dimension stories don’t treat the Dark Dimension very seriously.

Mr. Wheelchair can’t walk while J’onn can both walk and fly, and has legitimately been pushed down the stairs by Logan once. He’s the worst kind of cripple: The kind who thinks he’s a genius but never came up with a backup plan for being pushed down the stairs.

The Ghost Rider fan Creed

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Fucking based

Remeber when J’onzz made himself insane to navigate the Joker’s brain, then made the Joker sane to fix the damage from use of the worlogog? Good times.

I like when they failed at saving the multiverse and Doom had to do it for them. New Avengers was fun.

Me to. He still has a nervous system that runs on electrical impulses right?

I love him, but some years ago he jobbed against the young X-Men, Iceman, Thor and fucking Deadpool in the same year... he also jobbed against Mr Sinister and Magic this year.

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I love how it's zapping his ass