Sorry user we can’t have our date night, the league called and they need my help on apokolips

>I've never read comics

Mr. Superman. I'm sorry, but things are over between me and your cousin. Look, i don't want to vent here... so just ask your dog. He has been really helping me throughout it all and he'll be able to explain to you my reasons. We're actually going out right now. So i'll bid you excuse.

Darkseid wouldn't even cuck you. He just wants you to know that he could cuck you at any time, any place, any woman. He legit could just cut out the middle man and fuck you straight up, and it wouldn't even have to be rape. Darkseid is.

Darkseid being a racist is the New52 and Rebirth canon anyway.

They made him a good guy?

Meant to say rapist but whatever.

Not all racist are rapists.

I don't think Dr.Light is into dudes...

Let me put this in a simpler way.

Would you date a supermodel?

It's a diffiYES.

Absolutely. Enjoy the ride and namedropping. The only risk is getting murdered. It won't last, but you get to bang a 10/10 and the superpowers may rub off.

Namedropping?

You used to date Supergirl / Black Cat / Wonder Woman whatever. Meet the other members of the Justice League / Avengers. That'd be a great story to tell.

Didn't Poison Ivy once use her powers on a millionaire boytoy, gave him an allergic relationship, and he developed pheromone / date rape powers of his own?

I mean, even if her cousin is really protective, YOU'RE STILL FUCKING HER. What's he going to do, kill you?

Whatever man. Don't want me to date your cousin? That's all right, I'll call it off, Captain Amazing.

You think he wouldn’t tear your head off?

For what? He wants me to break off with her? Sure, done. I'm out.

She'd cuck you with Darkseid, bro. If you had seen the stuffs Krypto showed me. She was dressed all slutty while draping all over that bastard. Darkseid! Can you believe it? Dude invaded Earth. He turned my aunt into a Parademon.

> Dipped into vat of experimental chemicals when captured by villain
> Accidentally become wielder of magical artifact
> Powers are inherently contagious
> Captured by villain, imbued with super powers and brainwashed for an assassination attempt
> Injected with super-serum to heroically join a fight
> Metagene activates from constant exposure to superhuman
> Bestowed power by teammate or heroine's patron force.

The list goes on.

>Metagene activates from constant exposure to superhuman
Get super powers from supergirl riding your face

See, that sounds appealing in theory. But what really happens is that Baron Zemo, with his sticky hands and high heels, straps you to a rack and prepares his anal probe. Mostly because he gets off on it.

Or it's "Knock knock oh shit it's the Joker".

This why we don't let our dogs have opposable thumbs.

But when supergirl rescues you she’ll rim you to make it better

On the bright side, maybe it's the Nazi dominatrix in black leather, who wants you for a breeding experiment. It could happen.

It's not like there isn't precedent.

I mean, fucking Jane Foster got to be Thor. And now she's Valkyrie.

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Clark being protective of Kara is adorable. I wish I still had that gif of him scaring off those guys who were checking her out.

I'd punch joker in the face and beat his ass all the while lecturing him about why he doesnt have hot ol harley sitting on his face anymore cuz secretly he's a bitch for batsy. fuck him and his unfunny rodeo clown jokes

>Would you date a hero Yea Forums?
OH lord no. I don't want to get fridged.

Pussy

Sure. Maybe i can become friends with the villians.

As opposed to dating nobody? Sure, why not?

You’d get special head for every kidnapping you survive

Sure. Everyone itt is assuming that you're dating Batman or someone else who has Joker-tier villains. What if you just dated some C-lister that fought losers with no powers?

It couldn't be that bad.

Like who?

The current Wonder Twins have the League of Annoyance.

Better question; would you date a villain? I’m talking Janice Lincoln level

They exist?

I would and I wouldn’t even hesitate if I could cuddle her after she committed mass murder or grand larceny

Sure, why not? Worst that'll happen is I get the cops coming around to ask me questions. Or I get picked off by a rival villain. Risk worth taking in my book.

Superman looks like he really cares for his cousin.

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I would probably try to make the relationship interesting.
If I do my job well the status quo will end up in my favor

>implying any would want to be with me
Having a drink with Punisher would be interesting though.

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If police and fire fighters can manage to have stable relationships, I'm sure we could make it work.

A hero? No thanks, i might be kidnapped, tortured, killed or put in a fridge.
Villainess? Sign me the fuck up.

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How

Yes, even in that situation. The few times you have together will be glorious enough to more than make up for time lost.

>date a superhero
>get kidnapped and/or murdered by a villain
I think dating a villain might actually be safer.

Wouldn't sex with supergirl or wonder woman just kill you?

>You get tired of lonely cold nights as your superhero GF is off saving the day
>So you start flirting with girls in the apartment/bars to take away your loneliness
>Get pretty good at it, start going on dates with a few
>Nothing serious, you just want some companionship really
>Until one night you meet her, you both hit it off right away, both of you have so much in common and enough different to get chemistry going
>So you start to meet her more often, you even make excuses to your GF so you can meet the new girl
>Finally you get in bed with her, and it felt so good, you couldn't remember the last time you did it with your GF
>Turns out the new girl is the arch nemesis of your GF
>She doesn't know you're dating her arch enemy
Wat do?

This could make a pretty good comic series.

>As the weeks turn to months the two of you grow closer
>You meet whenever you can get away from your GF though that isn't too much of a problem with how much she worked
>Your big break came when she'd be gone for over a month because of some crisis across the Galaxy, leaving you and your secret GF all alone
>The two of you had sex everyday, some times several times a day
>You trotted the globe to all the places you always wanted to go to thanks to her powers, money and connections
>But the good times had to end some day
>Your GF returned, and changed
>She had a number of close brushes with death that made her reevaluate her life and relationships, especially with you
>She now wanted to go out and be with you more often, which ran counter to your plans with your new secret GF
>Needless to say you weren't to pleased with her newfound affection which soured your mood seeing as you couldn't meet your real GF as often as you'd like
>She was worried about you and why you were growing distant