Sigh

Sigh

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As much as you'd like Quill to be some noble space hero, he's this punk kid who was raised by interstellar hillbilly pirates, and he's not terribly smart, just occasionally clever.

He is kind of a dipshit.

Literally kidnapped from Earth before finishing the 2nd grade.

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All the space people keep referring to earth as terrain, so he probably forgot the proper name

Just turn off your brain, bro!

But that was a smart thing to do. If the weird guys in suits were trying to trick him, they could have just lied that they were from earth. By saying "Missouri" he was testing them to see if they really were from earth.

>if you ran a blacklihght along my room it would look like a Jackson Pollack painting
Someone taught an 10 year old to jack off. Some space creature taught a little boy to wank.

>needing someone to teach you how to jack off
Either retard or hard christian who couldn't touch his own body at all.

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...and you're a dipshit too.

but it was corny

in fact all the jokes from capeshit are corny or just trying too hard to be funny

I don't remember needing any instructions.

The truly funny thing is just watching you guys make thread after thread just to mewl, whine and sperg over it.

I... I didn’t know about using lotion until I saw it in TV.

>the absolute STATE of cutfags

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Geez, I wonder who?

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Yeah it was a really shitty joke

Jacking off is instinctual, even animals do it. The real question is, how the fuck does he know who Jackson Pollack is?

>Needing lotion
Our ancestors didn't need lotion because their dicks weren't mutilated

Lotion is a meme.

He was around and famous before Quill was abducted, but still weird a 10 year old would know him. Easy explanation is his mom was a fan

I was disappointed that Quill didn't seem to care about meeting other earthlings, or even going back to Earth.

why would he? he was abducted when he was

I know, but I was expecting him to make a comment like "So how's earth been like since I was gone?" or "Hey guys these are earthlings like me!" or "Well earth may be where I was born but its not my home." That sort of thing. Instead it just seems that they brushed it off, along with the earth characters not questioning how every alien looks like a human.

>not questioning how every alien looks like a human.

I think they all got over that when they met Thor

>My mother gave it to me. My mom liked to share with me all the pop songs that she loved growing up. I happened to have it on me when I was...the day that she... You know, when I left Earth.
>You are half Terran. Your mother was of Earth.
>My mother is from Earth.
>(Drax to Quill) You Earthers have hang-ups.
>I told Gamora how when I was a kid I used to pretend David Hasselhoff was my dad. He’s a singer and actor from Earth, really famous guy.
>It’s called a Zune. It’s what everybody’s listening to on Earth nowadays. It’s got 300 songs on it.
all quotes from Guardians of the Galaxy 1/2

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>Midwestern
>dipshit
Makes sense.

>Well this Thor guy looks like a human, but not really, he has incredible resistance and somehow commands lighting.
>"Well ok, maybe asgardians either created humans or humans are an inferior version of asgardians, or maybe we evolved in very similar planets so the chances that we end up looking similar are low but perhaps not too big..."

>Every other alien is a human recolor, some still look very much human.
>"I will not question that in any way, whatever"