Walk into home after long day of work

>walk into home after long day of work
>darkseid is there sitting in my good chair
What do?

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kick him in the nuts

Tell him to close his legs.

Start sucking

Tell him to close his fucking legs this is my house not a strip club ain't nobody wanna see his stony balls and concrete pole

>Darkseid, we won a free cruise!
>Nope, not gettin' out of this chair.

Lay down on the couch and ask him to get me a beer.
I figure going all-in is my best shot.

Guess you're sitting in the bad chair.

>Darkseid goes to Detroit

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Frown, then ignore him.

>you better not have let my fuckin cat out bro
>you feel like hitting a bowl?

Start farting.

teach that faggot how to spell

Get down on my knees and suck his dick for that promotion.

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way to MANSPREAD that ho

>i'm black
shut up nigger

Suck him off like the faggot you secretly are

Call him shrimp dick and wait for results

Do my best Sheldon Cooper impression and say "That's my spot"

Die for Darkseid.

Walk the fuck back out. It's his house now.

>STOP SITTING IN MY FUCKING CHAIRS, DAD

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challenge him at Fortnite

Kick him out of my house.

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Stairs—arch-nemesis to both cripples and gods.

leave him alone you ungrateful prick, hes had a long day

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warned you about those stairs bro.

wonder how different the world would be if it was darkseid in fortnite instead of thanos.

Ask him to please leave and inform him that I'll call the police if he doesn't.

Ask him why is his name pronounced darkSIDE when it looks like it should be darkSEED.

It comes from the pronunciation of 'Eidolon'. A spectre or phantom.

sit in his lap

he will then recognize my authority

>I’m racist
Kill yourself scum

You die for Darkseid, bitch.

>"So, uhh... pizza?"

>No big deal, Have my lunch too, Have the entire house I'm moving

based
he's going to be doing a bit more than recognising your authority if you sit down on his huge dong...

go and stay go.

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Sucks to be you.

Ask him what bills he pays around here to be sitting on my good chair

Sit on his lap obviously.

Hire some local "teens" to kick him out.

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The cops who arrested Thanos try to arrest the thugs that mugged Darkseid. Who wins?

Thanos... why are you just sitting there? It's your turn to feed the chickens.

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Offer him a cup of tea

This is the big bad villain at DC? Disappointing. Dude got knocked down with a chain!

>"Regain my former strength"

Nah man, he really is that weak.

Ask him where his hot ass daughter is.

Does he want me to suck it? If that, then I will suck it.

what this guys deal?

Suck his darkseid