>"Jamie pull up that video of Spider-Man fighting Venom on the subway."
>"Jesus Christ! You just fucking saw that, right? Spider-Man gets absolutely thrown into that door, knocks it off its hinges and he's not even dead....just think of the pure, raw force that it takes to do that."
>"And they say he's NOT a mutant? Motherfucker's just as unkillable as Wolverine."
>"You have to imagine Spider-Man has trained with some world class fighters to do what he does."
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Source? sounds fun
Only Fuccbois listen to Joe Rogan.
How come Joe said Venom would be shit as an MMA fighter? Does Joe not look at the LiveLeak vids of Venom fighting?
t.Jonah
>"Look at those muscles; Venom is fucking jacked. You gotta wonder what his routine is. You think he uses steroids? I mean, he has to, there's no way you can get a body like that naturally."
I couldn't get through the first 5 minutes of this guy's netflix special, it was just about everything I hate about stand up these days without "MY WIFE LOL"
It's very widely agreed upon that Joe is an absolutely terrible comedian
What do you hate about stand up these days?
What do you hate about stand up these days?
What do you hate about stand up these days?
What do you hate about stand up these days?
Are you autistic.
What do you hate about stand up these days?
Why do you hate standing up these days?
Are you autistic?
Just answer the question fag.
What do you hate about stand up these days?
I am not that poster. Seriously though. Are you autistic.
Shit nigga, I might be.
Can you imagine Joey Diaz in the Marvel Universe. Fun shit.
But what do you hate about stand up these days?
Really wish Joe could get Spidey in studio, imagine getting him high and having him tell Joe about some trippy Mysterio attack or about that time he got Captain Universe powers
You know what fuck it this is a Marvel Power Scaling thread now
But what do you hate about stand up these days?
They mirin'
I hate that they be clownin' on my boi spidey
You know it, and remember this guy is only teen just imagine how strong and respected this little guy will be when he matures
>"Just look at Spider-Man, look at that ground game, on a motherfucker like Rhino especially, Jesus."
>"You think Spider-Man smokes weed due to the pain he endures from being beaten up by the likes of Carnage, Lizard, ect?"
>"You gotta respect Spider-Man, dude gets absolutely no support from the NYPD, or the press and he just keeps going out to tackle not just street crime but other costumed freaks."
>"Its entirely possible Venom is the love child of Spider-Man and Black Cat."
Make him the Thing
Oh Joe is a shit comedian no doubt but his podcast has some pretty great and varried guests and everything is usually very casual and off the cuff
If you can get over some of Joe's particular tastes and habits it can be pretty cool to see some of the guests he has just bullshit for a couple hours instead of the by the numbers rehearsed shit you'd see in an interview
He was in Spider-man 2
What do you hate about stand up today?
Jim Norton was better.
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I wonder if Joe thinks Captain America would do well in the Octagon.
These are too accurate. Go back to eating all your weird eggs Joe
Venom totally eats elk meat, its the only thing in his diet besides chocolate.
It's the Joe Rogan Experience, but the scenario is made up, obviously.
Redpill me on the Venom being Spidey and Cat's kid conspiracy.
>"You have to wonder who would win in a fight, Venom or a Gorilla"
>the symbiote bonds with a gorilla
>Let me tell you Joe Rogan I was onna train in Queens on my way to get my dick sucked by sum broad when Doc Ock and Spider-Man come crashing in. This muthafucka is whaling on Spidey is getting nailed. Granted he's keeping everyone from dying but he's still getting his ass whopped. Ock destroys the breaks and we're on a runaway train. Then ya know what happened Joe Rogan Spider-Man stops the train with his body, it was the most amazing shit I'd seen. Better than that blow job I missed.
JRE with Deadpool as a guest when?
I feel like Deadpool would try too hard. Reed Richards smoking a blunt was hilarious though.
DP probably can't even get high, but Joe should ask him why he's never undergone those intense marijuana-based cancer treatments aka getting medical weed.
>The MCU will never have Joe Rogan interview Jameson about how Spider-man is a menace.
So one day, Spider Man and Black Cat got ridiculously horny enough to knock boots like they always do, then Spidey's mutant sperm filled her whom with a baby that became Venom, who grew up to hate both of his parents and went back in time because 'Fuck You, DAD!'
>"Know what I think? Spider-Man is totally like an X-Man or associated with the X-Men, we see him hang around Wolverine all the time."
>"You ever think of how Iron Man apparently used to be Tony Stark's bodyguard? I doubt Stark just let his former bodyguard keep the suit to do vigilante shit, I refuse to believe he's not a Stark Tech employee still."
>"Know I do kinda believe Captain America isn't the original, he's a clone that they made from the body of the original."
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This conversation could feasibly happen in the marvel universe.
Guys, who do you think has a hotter dick? Thor or Colossus?
This is gold
Okay, but what does Joey Diaz have to say about this?
Human torch, retard
Based and Eddiepilled.
>"I did in fact, read that spiders and ants consume daily about five times their body weight in food, so I'd have to imagine Spider Man just eats a fuck ton just to keep himself going through the day. Maybe Ant Man does too."
>"I never understood the whole Black Panther thing, like we know he's close with the king of Wakanda but is he like a diplomat or something because he's seen all over the place with the Avengers."
>"You ever think Vision poops? I sometimes wonder about that."
>"I actually like to think Daredevil would be pretty damn unstoppable in the UFC, I mean just look at the crazy shit he does every night."
>"That mutant shit is crazy, man. It's crazy! You know, you can go to these psychic mutants, these telepaths, and they'll take DMT, right? And then they'll broadcast that shit right into your brain. It's like...Jamie, bring up that video of all those guys doing that..."
>implying Chris d'leia isn't Spiderman
What do you stand about today hate up?
11/10, would absolutely pay to hear Joey Diaz tell stories about running amok in the Marvel Universe
>"Adam, you were telling us how you saw... who was it again?"
>"The Avengers, fighting... that one dude with the head."
>"MODOK dude."
>"Fuckin MODOK."
>"Does MODOK fuck, you think?"
>"Oh absolutely dude. My boy got that retard chode going on down there."
>"So Adam, you saw the Avengers fighting MODOK."
>"That's right."
>"And Dasha was with you?"
>"Yeah we were out getting some-"
>"And then Black Panther scooped her up and cucked you right there on the sidewalk?"
>Stav starts laughing
>"Like literally right there, or-"
>"Like his little cat suit opened up in the front and his cock flopped out into Dasha's mouth."
>Stav continues to laugh
>"And the whole time he's like "ehvary keeng in Wahkanda has a union suit flap for his peniss"
>Stav laughs harder
>"Theah is nathing I want more in theese wahld than to be an Avenjah, since it allows me to plow all sorts of Ahmerican poosay weeth my bahbed cat penis"
>"It actually wasn't barbed, it was very veiny though"
>Stav continues cackling, then stops
>"Hell yeah dude"
Is this a men or is AnonTalk at it again?
>got onto hard drugs in his early teens
>found his mom OD'd on the kitchen floor before he left high school
>went to jail for kidnapping
>has an adult daughter who hasn't spoken to him in 20 years
>got so low at one point that he literally formulated a plan to murder the people who wronged him and punch his own ticket if his life didn't turn around
Joey Diaz had a hard life
Why are these threads always so fucking funny to me. Just the idea of someone over analyzing superhero strength in the real world and talking about them like they're sports stars hits me in the right spots.
I want Rogan to make a cameo in the MCU or DCEU doing this now.
Is it common knowledge in universe that Venom is a symbiote?
When will Joe Rogan say Woman Chick, he has too because of Twitter
Spiderman isn't real
Most people think he's some weirdo on steroids.
>the term "power level" in a pre-DBZ era
>Dbz invented power levels
It was the funniest routine I've seen in a while.
I guess there's no accounting for taste, but to me the theatrics really brought it home. I was actually in tears.
I'm pretty sure it's canon that Deadpool cannot get intoxicated cuz healing factor.
This is interesting when you consider that Wolverine is basically in the same boat, yet part of his character is that he likes to booze.
Have they ever explicitly stated that Joe doesn't exist in-universe? It could still happen
What do you hate about stand up these days?
>Joe interviews Peter and Black Cat on separate occasions on Spider-Man
>Joe interviews Thor about Asgard and his adventures
>Iron Fist, Shang Chi and the like guest star about martial arts
kek based Alex Jones just revealing his true power level with 0 regard for the consequences
fucking beautiful user
This shit needs to be in the next fucking Avengers movie
Honestly I'd pay to see Emma Frost do DMT, she's already pretty freaky.
How would Joe deal with the fact that Chi is a real thing in the Marvel Universe and all that crazy kung-fu horseshit is real
I agree. I’ve always found Joe pretty irritating on his own, but with the right guests the podcast becomes fucking gold. His two with Alex Jones had me laughing my ass off.
good thread
Nothing would go unfucked.
>What do you hate about stand up these days?
this was the other night
>It's entirely possible
I imagine Joe would invite Spider-Man to his podcast
>that's the bloody thing about magneto he acts as almost a jungian shadow self for mutant kind as a whole
>it's in am emergent species nature to attempt to supplant it's predecessor either through violence or simply out breeding them
>consider the lobster
Rogan would totally invite Jonah. Especially the MCU one.
What do you hate about stand up these days?
I like his podcast, but the standup is terrible. Even Fluffy is better.
>Now, I don’t want to get all political but I think that these costumed madman are a menace. I mean take this Rhinoceros fella. He’s running into all our cars and banks and I think I saw him stealing some cash too! And don’t even get me started on those Goblins. Hob or Green or whatever yah call them. Throwing pumpkins all over the place. Harassing all the fine people as Oscorp. I mean these guys a real jerks if you ask me