Secret Warps: Iron Hammer #1 Storytime

And just when you thought things *couldn't* possibly get weirder...
>Doom
>Galactus
>The Stranger
>Ego the Living Planet

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LMAO

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Okay there's a time when we need to stop, and we've clearly passed it!

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*cue Avengers EMH theme*

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>Weapon Wonderful
Okay!

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>Ego + The Stranger
This one is so obvious, that I feel many would miss the chance to do it if it wasn't Ewing.

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Those origins and names are so forced and I love them.

I bet you wondered where he had been all this time... Well, wonder no more.

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Oh fuck! Sequel bait!

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And here's all the insanity laid out, not two, but FOUR characters merged in one. What's your favorite?

Also stick around, we're getting a backup story by Tini Howard.

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>Shit is so confusing that the 8-warped bad guy doesn't even know his name

>"It is consecrated to an entity that I can no longer pronounce"
kek

>Journey Into Suspense
Fuck you, this is too good.

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Did they appear before? I have a faint recollection...
>Toni The Grim
Pepper The Wise
Rhodey The Bold

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>Since 2012 Wanda and Carol have literally merged into one person before speaking one word to each other
Hurts just a little bit.

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Any chance these annuals will get collected in a TPD? I had to stop buying at the second one because they were getting too expensive for me

>You're hammered, Sigurd
Devilish.

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Yeah, they definitely will, I got it in my sights.
It comes out on September 24th.

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So who is Fenris fused with? Ultimo?

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Unworthiness strikes again!
I'm not sure actually, it does seem like Fenris by itself.

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Oh boy! Some folks aren't gonna like this.

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>The Iron Hammer is my bodyguard.
Hah, nice way to get around it.

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>IT'S ACTUALLY ABOUT ETHICS IN HAMMER-WIELDING

What in the utter blazes is this trash? What the hell happened to good old fashioned comic books. FUCK Marvel and their bullshit

Is his Black Order gonna be fused with eachother ala F2 or with other space baddies?

Cuz I wanna see the husband and wife duo of Black Glaive and Proxima Swan.

Anyway that was it, five issues full of insanity. I have no idea how much these are selling, but hopefully some of that Immortal Hulk magic rubbed off on it so it didn't sell terribly.
But yeah, a trade paperback is coming and there's also the Infinity Warps Two-In-One trade, already available.
Thanks for the bump!

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Maybe Technovore?

Oh no, incels warped with the boomers!

Yeah, they appeared in the second Iron Hammer issue. (Toni claims Eitri was "like a father" to her.)

I know Yea Forums will inevitably REEEE at this but it's a fun way of fusing those two concepts.
Also Happy is cute. CUTE!

Ah yeah, I recall now, Eitri is the one who merges with Ho Yinsen.

these warps are getting out of hand...
it should've been thanos and adam warlock!

Adam Warlock is gonna be fused with Carina calling it now.

>an entity I can no longer pronounce
LMAO

>I don't even like this solar system
fuck this book has so much gold

Thank you so much, OP!

>not fing fang foom
laaame

Marvel Team-Up

We've already seen Man Thing Thang Thoom though

Oh fuck, really? I still think fing fang would be a better fit for fenris since both are supposedly unstoppable beasts

Why does that fusion of mostly little girls have such defined pectoral muscles?

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It's the Starbrand. I ain't gonna explain shit.

It's three little girls and Quicksilver

Happy is cute, gimmie me one!

What an amazing stache

They gonna fug right?

Everything wrong with continuity summed up in one hilarious image

>Rumiko Fujikawa
some wounds shouldn't be reopened tini

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If you have the strange genes you’re automatically granted a flamin’ stache

OK, now.... THIS IS INSULTING!!!

Happy merged with Jane Foster?!! Such indignity!! Wouldn't have been more logical to merge Pepper with Jane, and Happy with Fandrall?

now thats a squirrel girl I can get behind

Jane Hogan is prime Waifu Material.

kek

I demand more Thicc Hammer

>these needlessly complex backstories
I love it.

>staches power is so strong that they keep being the only constant in each merge

Hope this becomes a tradition like the Avengers: No stories and we'll get to see more of the mergiverse next year.

Comfy side story too, thanks for the storytime Rod.

This issue was gold, thanks for the storytime

Wait, who did Megalodon get merged with?

iron monger + mjolnr = Iron Mjolnr?

wait why wasn't it Loki?

>Wonderful One
Thread theme: youtu.be/J_moHXjH7pc

Because there is no Loki in Warpworld, since 616 Loki managed to avoid getting caught up in Gamora's warp.

Well, but they could trap a Loki inside Warp World and merge Stane with him. I mean, I believe one of Doom's projects was a clone of Loki.

Apparently, with a unnamed fusion between Mr Magnificent (New Universe) and Redstone (Squadron Supreme)

Totally wacko!! It's just me or "Eagle Mask" looks like Deadpool? and The Rush looks like Misty Knight.

this is so fucking retarded
I love it

I would really like to know who has merged with Fenris. Technovore sounds quite appropiated, but I'm not sure.

I think Ultimo and Mangog would fit for each other.

Surely he should have become Hogan the Grim?

"Mr Magnistone"?

Or maybe "Hogun the Happy", but yeah, that's the idea.

Yeah, that's an almost perfect name, indeed.

When you get to the point that you can't even function because your name is incomprehensible gibberish.

Craziest thing, it actually works! There are realities where Doom merged itself with both, Galactus and/or Ego.

Wait, wait, wait, wait... Zeke?!! Wasn't he supposed to be Obadiah? Then, where's Obadiah?

Dead

I think I'm goint to lose it.

"Raggamoshtoomb":
- (???)
- Agamotto
- Oshtur
- Watoomb

In this wacko world, it seems even the dead ones can be merged: Bucky and Wong are proof of it.

marvel.fandom.com/wiki/Raggadorr_(Earth-616)

Thanks a ton, pal.

Howard Odin? Howard Stark or Howard the Duck?

This mark the second warped character that gets fused with one of Tony's weapons, the other is Heimdall who got fused with his armor's AI.
Sigurd is a chad.

Presumably Obadiah was warped with Laufey, and Howard Odin adopted Zeke after killing Laufey Stane

Rumiko Fujikawa, "Valkyrja Corp".

At simple sight, Rumiko doesn't seem to be merged with anyone, but the name seems to assume she's merged with Valkyrie. Any other companie trhat could be linked to the name?

Even if that's true, Zeke would still have to be merged with Loki, not Mjolnir itself.

It says Fenris was a "dark virus", like a computer virus. If that's so, then it's clear who is its "other half": the Technovore. Which is fitting, as the Technovore is like a hungry beast after all.

Well, it clearly means we are going to have more warps in the future. As much as I hate to admit it, I'm right with "Korvos" about one thing, this warped universe need a correction. I say this because some warps are really wrong.

For example:
- Dr Megan Erskine: This is supposed to be Morgan Le Fay and Dr Abraham Erskine, but that's wrong. Erskine should be merged with the Ancient one.
- Mr Invisible: This actually works, but the problem with being a marriage merged into one individual, how are Franklin and Valeria going to exist?
- Punisher Pack: This is really wrong. The soul of one man merged with 4 kids? And not just any soul, but Frank Castle himself?
- Zeke Stane: We really need a Loki to complete this guy.

And by the way, am I crazy, of those color buttons in front of this dude "computer keyboard" are the Infinity Stones?

You guys are retarded. This isn't like Whor screaming about how men are evil and she's a strong powerful womyn using her strong powerful cosmic womyn hammer while Cuck Odinson nods respectfully. This is an example of how Whor should have been done.

That's the point though, Loki avoided the merger and that's why Zeke was alone and crazy. And why the universe was falling apart around them.

Since there is no Loki in this reality, Stark had to find another soul to merge with his brother. And the hammer was like his brother

I wouldn't be surprise if in the next adventure with the warps, we actually find a Loki is brought to this world and merged with Stane.

You're basically saying that if it was well written, no one would complain... Which might seem obvious to you and many in here, but most of what I've seen elsewhere about people hating on Jane Thor hasn't been because of the circumstances that led her to that, but the very concept itself. People who hated Jane and now she was in the movies, so now the very concept of her being Thor irritates them, ignoring that 1) Stormbreaker exists now and 2) Thor movies were pretty shit to the point I can't even remember who directed them, and Waititi for better or worse made him more popular with his brand style.

To add to that, I doubt he's going to go the same route as Aaron, but I guess the core idea of it without repeating the Unworthy plot (as well as reintroducing Lady Sif and using Valkyrie). So all the preemptive screeching about the movie is dumb.

My strategy-sense tells me this thread is on page 10!

Brother in Arms.
heh

I forgot one detail to mention. Considering Justin Hammer created the armor of Blizzard, I supposed he was the element to combine with Thor's Frost Giants. So, maybe it would be needed another element to merge with the Stanes.

Pretty sure Adam, Gamora, and Loki were the only ones who didn't get fused. At least I recall that Adam was still himself after the mergers happened.

Drax is also living in this dimension peacefully as Arthur Douglas.

This means Happy Hogan is also worthy.

Ok Yea Forums what cosmic fusions do you want?

The fuck is this Digimon?

"...all those wocjose to oppose-"

Sides: exploded.

Amazing.

Nova & Quasar seems rather obvious, although a Nova was fused with Darkhawk, so that's maybe discarded to avoid confusion. However, the backstory for the Dark Starhawk in the Warps was much closer to Sam Nova than Rich's, so maybe there's some wiggle room in there.

Other warps I want to see:
>Kallark & Ronan
>Adam Warlock & Pip The Troll
>Oracle & Moondragon
>Xenith & Phyla-Vell
>Aleta & Ayesha

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Mighty.

I'll be honest. If the was an Event Book, it would have been way better than Infinity War or War of the Realms. It's stupid, fun, and a way for people to bond

Wasn't Darkhawk's warp name still Chris Powell? The whole thing was kind of confusing. Plus he's already a fusion with the whole Dark Starhawk thing (Darkhawk/Starhawk). It was never clarified and Ewing can just handwave it,

Quasar and Nova would be cool but yeah too obvious (wouldn't put it past Ewing since he likes Wendell and Rich), then again the F4 was obvious but it turned up nicely with that Wonderful One thing.

Also this one is obvious but having Frankie Raye and Richard Rider fused into Frankie Rider (or Richard Raye) and their name would still be Nova.

I am expecting to see a Devientart watermark.

>Also this one is obvious but having Frankie Raye and Richard Rider fused into Frankie Rider (or Richard Raye) and their name would still be Nova.
I actually like this one, and it would be Richard Raye's first chance to be a herald.
They usually make these for the puns regardless of "logic", so it doesn't always have to go for direct affinity.
And yes, it was Chris Powell. This one is easily the most confusing warp because it uses the same name as the Dark Starhawk fused in Infinity Countdown: Darkhawk (the Darkhawk using the Nega Bands). Meanwhile, the version fused in the Mergiverse was actually using a more reasonable backstory (the amulet came from the 30th century like Starhawk).

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>Whor
I''m pretty sick of people bashing the character for shit writing.

Damn i hope Sims will get to continue his Darkhawk storyline.

The guy who is fighting against the Infinity Warps' Dark Starhawk seems to be named Death's Door. And if I have to guess, I believe it's a warp between Death's Head and Evilhawk (Dargin Bokk).

I like thicc happy Waifu.

If Jane didnt magically end up on the Moon to take the hammer, have really shit "4th wall breaking" jokes, and didnt make her a cancer patient who shits all over people suffering from cancer, I'd like her more. When she was in Avengers and I could ignore that, she was fine.

I also was fine with her having 6160 Moljner, but then they broke it and now it's a Gauntlet that changes shape. Whatever.

Also Thor is a name.

I love just how incomprehensible Mephicthzarrkoo-neg is as a name.

Try to say it ten times fast. Your tongue will surely die.

Actually, the Black order could be merged with a team of Korvac's henchmen: Minions of Menace, also called the Intimidators.

>Proxima Swan
Sounds sexy

I can't remember

Star-Lord was warped with Groot right?

Who was Rocket warped with?

He was fused into "Peet" as well.

Arcturus Romm and his Microknights, Starrionette and Terminsector.

Oh hey its Quesada.

Well that seems odd

Loki dodged the warping thing. Gamora also doesn't exist there since she did the warping. Drax is a regular human and just living his old life with his wife and daughter. Adam might have also avoided the warping.

He was stuck inside the Groot and Peter combo.

Combining Peter and Groot was shit, I wouldn't mind if that got ignored.

So I guess the fusion is just Starkhawk and Chris Powell even though Chris Powell was still a singular entity before merging. It's weird but I guess it's passable since other characters didn't merge.

Sleepwalker was also unaffected but his host wasn't.

So does that mean 616 Moondragon didn't get a warp?

She was supposed to be dead at the time of the Warps, so no, there's no Moondragon or Phyla warping (and Heather Douglas wasn't born yet when the split universe was created to house his new life). However there's some warps with dead people, which might get a pass since they were in the past like Wong and Bucky, plus some Dark Dimension Z shenanigans going on...
Either way there's another thing, I believe only the notable characters (villains and heroes) got a warp, regular people didn't. Don't quote me on this, though.

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>Either way there's another thing, I believe only the notable characters (villains and heroes) got a warp, regular people didn't. Don't quote me on this, though.
You say this after we've literally seen a warped version of Happy Hogan.

Regular people got warped too. In Arachknight, Mary Jane Watson and Marlene Alraune.

I wasn't sure, I was going mostly by this where it seemed her priority was to warp those who could be a threat to her and not literally everyone. But it would make more sense that she simply warped everyone, even though she got creative with most of them (the puns are too intentional).

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A potential warp that I hope to see in the future is "Midnight Cat", Midnight (Jeff Wilde) and Black Cat (Felicia Hardy)

I was thinking Midnight and Prowler, myself.

Whoah, I didn't think of that. Good idea. It's just that the whole cat burglar from father to kid from Midnight, made me think about Felicia and her father.

But truth be told, Prowler would fit better that turning poor Felicia into a cyborg.

Anyway, Korvos is right about something, some balance has to be put in the universe. As in changing some fusions that don't have any sense. For example, Punisher Pack. (I really don't like these merged with Frank's soul).